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February 08, 2008
The Lovable, Huggable President
Opinion seems to be that Obama is pretty unbeatable. Why? Because he's so charming. He has no accomplishments and no more experience with foreign affairs than the average college student, yet there's a good chance he could be elected president just because he's so darn likable. If this strategy of nominating a nice looking empty suit works, expect future presidential elections to be between two plush toys ("Looks how adorable they are! I can decide which one to pick!"). Just a reminder: We're currently the most powerful nation in the world and the definitely leader at blowing crap up. Our leader should never be charming. He should be scary. He should appear in the nightmares of our enemies, eating their children. Diplomats should not want to meet with him unless they have numerous armed guards for protection. That's who the leader of the most powerful nation should be. 47 Responses To "The Lovable, Huggable President"
The chair we offer to the foreign dilplomat who is meeting with the President should be covered in plastic. Mainly because of the likely-hood of a pants wetting. #1 - Posted by: on February 8, 2008 11:43 AMObama doesn't seem huggable. He is a peevish ex-smoker. Look how Barack Obama made his website. He thinks he is a deity up in the clouds looking down on us insignificant mortals. His followers don't seem very huggable either. They seem angry, hostile and entitled. Even Daily Kos has gone off the rails over Obama. #2 - Posted by: Nate on February 8, 2008 11:48 AMAs I told my wife yesterday, I am waiting for someone to claim the lame walk when Obama's shadow touches them. She likes Obama, but as of yet has not drunk the Kool Aid. #4 - Posted by: Room 237 on February 8, 2008 11:54 AMI think future candidates for POTUS should be sent out on black ops missions to kill evil doers with their bare hands. The whole thing should be filmed and shown to the American public. The guy that kills while also looking super cool doing it will get the most votes and if a candidate gets killed (Ron Paul)…oh well! This would eliminate ANY chance that Hillary would EVER run again!!! #5 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 8, 2008 12:07 PM#2 - Posted by: Nate on February 8, 2008 11:48 AM GAZE #6 - Posted by: Vote crotchety old bastard! on February 8, 2008 12:09 PMHow about Russell Crowe for president? I don’t know his politics (and he was born in Australia, I think) but you can never tell if he’s going to punch you, throw something at you, or just sleep with your wife. I want foreign dignitaries, and even American politicians, to know that, if you have a meeting with the president, he’s probably going to punch you in the face, sleep with your wife, or both. #7 - Posted by: juggernaut on February 8, 2008 12:11 PMThe ray of shining light is that it will take more than 4 years to invade America. Resistance groups don't listen to orders for surrender. You still got that immigrant-B-gone catapult? Megaman 2008. #8 - Posted by: Ringmaster on February 8, 2008 12:17 PM"He should appear in the nightmares of our enemies, eating their children" So...you're endorsing Hillary? #9 - Posted by: ShesRight on February 8, 2008 12:24 PM"He should appear in the nightmares of our enemies, eating their children." If you add devouring their souls this sounds like punditry for Hillary. #10 - Posted by: Dodsfall on February 8, 2008 12:25 PMShesRight GMTA #11 - Posted by: Dodsfall on February 8, 2008 12:26 PMIf you're a foreign leader visiting President Hillary Clinton, you and your staff would be worried about: 1. Your sudden suicide in a Capitol round-about. Hey, that's not too bad for a woman, Frank. Definitely a fear factor. #12 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 8, 2008 12:32 PMFre Thompson baby! #13 - Posted by: jeff on February 8, 2008 12:32 PM"He should appear in the nightmares of our enemies, eating their children" Wait a second- isn't that our VICE-president? #14 - Posted by: McBain on February 8, 2008 12:51 PMThat's what I don't get about all this McCain is better than Hillary crap. McCain looks like a grouchy old man with Alzheimer's always yelling at the damn kids to get off his lawn. Hillary is actually scary. #15 - Posted by: on February 8, 2008 12:57 PMSeriously, I think that Hill-dog is going down. I think people have realized that she has no clothes. So either she's going to have to really throw some elbows, or accept defeat. Hillary's beatable. Obama, however, has the charisma of a JFK or a Reagan. #16 - Posted by: JoeB131 on February 8, 2008 01:12 PM#16 JoeB131 I think people have realized that she has no clothes. Please forgive me if I choose not to visualize your metaphor. (Yikes!) #17 - Posted by: Rightjabs on February 8, 2008 01:23 PMSounds like a shining endorsement of Yog-Sothoth. And the award for the first reference to HP Lovecraft's "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward" goes to AR. #18 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 8, 2008 01:24 PMSeriously, that was a good book. Now I want to re-read all of HP's stuff & start coming up with Obambi references from them. #19 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 8, 2008 01:39 PMSeriously, that was a good book. Now I want to re-read all of HP's stuff & start coming up with Obambi references from them. The Yog-Sothoth reference made me laugh. I think Obama is more like a Steve Urkel who thinks he is as powerful as Yog-Sothoth. #20 - Posted by: Nate on February 8, 2008 01:54 PMDarth Vader for President!!! Now the only question is who is scary enough to be his VP? He was willing to blow up entire planets for his cause, so you know the environmental lobby won't have any sway on him. #22 - Posted by: Marvin on February 8, 2008 02:33 PMDude. Megaman would Pwn Vader. Especially if it's X. Haduken all teh way. #23 - Posted by: Ringmaster on February 8, 2008 02:39 PMWhy vote for someone like McCain, who's simply old, when you can vote for a Great Old One? Cthulhu '08 - Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu Rl'yeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! #24 - Posted by: Cthulhu '08 on February 8, 2008 02:41 PMYou should not be able to be president until you can compete a series of challenges to aquire the presidential seal. The first of which is to last thirty seconds in a cage match with an actual Navy SEAL. #25 - Posted by: The Brain on February 8, 2008 02:46 PM#24 - Posted by: Cthulhu '08 on February 8, 2008 02:41 PM BRING IT, YOU FUC*ING FICTIONAL BEING!! NO ONE IS MORE EVIL THAN I!! YOU HEAR ME? I'M JOHN MOTHERFUC*ING McCAIN!!!! #26 - Posted by: John McCain on February 8, 2008 02:50 PMPrepare for a "visit" from my cultists, you old bitch! Feeding time is nigh, my Deep Ones! #27 - Posted by: Cthulhu '08 on February 8, 2008 03:10 PM#27 - Posted by: Cthulhu '08 on February 8, 2008 03:10 PM BRING IT!!!! MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!!! #28 - Posted by: John McCain on February 8, 2008 03:16 PMLET'S GET OUT PEOPLE OUT OF IRAQ. VOTE OBAMA #29 - Posted by: PeaceNinja on February 8, 2008 04:32 PMCRAP, MY CAPSLOCK KEY IS BROKEN AGAIN. ANYONE KNOW HOW 2 FIX IT????!!!! OH, AND GO HILLARY!!! I MEAN OBAMA!!!! #30 - Posted by: PeaceNinja on February 8, 2008 05:21 PM#18 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 8, 2008 01:24 PM I actually haven't read that one yet..... I got Yog from The Dunwhich Horror. Don't worry, my recent obsession with Lovecraft ensures I'll make a reference to many more unspeakable gods.
"If this strategy of nominating a nice looking empty suit works, expect future presidential elections to be between two plush toys ("Looks how adorable they are! I can decide which one to pick!")." Maybe in 2012 we could have a Democrat kitty run against a Republican puppy; instead of red states and blue states, we will revert to the more basic dog people vs. cat people. Our bumperstickers and buttons will be adorable, and if the GOP picks a golden retriever puppy they will win by a landslide. It certainly won't make for good government, but as least the puppy won't make long boring speeches and disappoint us in the end. I've never been backstabbed by a golden retriever!! Darth Vader for President!!! Now the only question is who is scary enough to be his VP? How about Bjork? #32 Our bumperstickers and buttons will be adorable, and if the GOP picks a golden retriever puppy they will win by a landslide. What happens when the puppy is four years old, seeking reelection and still crapping on the rug in Lincoln's bedroom. Campaigning against a kitten that already knows how to use the litter box would be disasterous. #34 - Posted by: seanquixote on February 8, 2008 10:33 PMA charming man with a sing-song voice that makes us feel good about doing nothing just makes me want to hold hands with the endless parade of human debris and sing kumbaya. #35 - Posted by: McWert Deglieb on February 9, 2008 08:00 AMThings are NOT looking good either way. Who's the Bigger Hawk, George or Hillary? There aren't many elected officials in Washington who want to throw the gauntlet down on Iran more than Hillary Clinton. The New York senator believes the president has been too soft on the militant Islamic country, claiming that Bush has played down the threat of a nuclear-armed Tehran. "I believe we lost critical time in dealing with Iran because the White House chose to downplay the threats and to outsource the negotiations," Clinton told an audience at Princeton University on Jan. 18. "I don't believe you face threats like Iran or North Korea by outsourcing it to others and standing on the sidelines. … We cannot and should not – must not – permit Iran to build or acquire nuclear weapons," Clinton added. "In order to prevent that from occurring … we must move as quickly as feasible for sanctions in the United Nations." Sen. Clinton has attempted to out-hawk Dubya on other foreign policy matters, as well. From Iraq to Palestine, the Democratic Party's leading lady argues that the current administration has not done enough to combat the threat of terrorism. And like so many other neoconservatives (yes, admit it, Hillary is a bloody neocon), Clinton will never admit that the United States has fallen right into the grasp of al-Qaeda by attempting to fight stateless terror by walloping sovereign Mideast countries. And with the Hamas victory in the recent Palestinian elections, the U.S. policy for the region isn't exactly producing the kind of results Bush and his co-conspirators desired. You'd have to pull out a microscope to differentiate between George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton. Both want a continued occupation of Iraq. Both want sanctions on Iran. And they both claim to want democracy in the Middle East. Yet neither will accept a democratic outcome if it doesn't favor U.S. interests. "Until and unless Hamas renounces violence and terror, and renounces its position calling for the destruction of Israel, I don't believe the United States should recognize them, nor any nation in the world," Hillary Clinton said recently. "[Y]ou're getting a sense of how I'm going to deal with Hamas. … And the answer is: not until you renounce your desire to destroy Israel will we deal with you," Bush told the Wall Street Journal in an interview during the elections in Palestine. Even though both express a desire to democratize the region, especially Iraq, it is hard to imagine either allowing an Iraqi government to form that is not friendly with the U.S. And a democratic Iraq (where the candidates aren't chosen by U.S. officials) would likely embody the same views as Iran concerning Israel. Love for America in the Arab world hasn't exactly prospered these past years, and it will not likely be changing anytime soon given the unified position of the Republican and Democratic leadership in Washington. So there you have it. Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush, leaders of their parties, see eye-to-eye on the most pressing concerns facing the U.S. and the Middle East today. And neither is offering up anything that will get us out of the mess they helped to make. #38 - Posted by: Jared on February 9, 2008 03:18 PMSo there you have it. Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush, leaders of their parties, see eye-to-eye on the most pressing concerns facing the U.S. and the Middle East today. And neither is offering up anything that will get us out of the mess they helped to make. #38 - Posted by: Jared on February 9, 2008 03:18 PM Ok. So how would you fix it? You offered understandable criticism (from your perspective) of Hilldebeast and how she resembles Bush in her positions. You however offered no real solution. Hell, you didn't even offer a bogus Hollywood solution. I think it's funny when I hear people talk about "this mess we're in", or the "quagmire in Iraq", etc. To date, the Evil Bush Administration® has prosecuted this current conflict far better, faster, and with a clearer sense of purpose than any US administration before this. #40 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 9, 2008 06:26 PMAlanABQ, Quagmire was used within days of the invasion to describe the situation in Iraq. It wasn't true then, nor has it been at any time since. I believe that we need to keep the situation in Iraq in perspective. You guys already had a likeable, huggable President, when I was in grade school in the Soviet Union - does the name Jimmy Carter say anything to you? It may be even better for the country if Obama becomes President, because he will screw everything so much that those who are yearning for change now, will scream for change back in 2012. #43 - Posted by: mykidsmommy on February 10, 2008 02:09 AMObama needs to be considered as our first photo shop presidential candidate. All image and no substance -lots of blanks for the voters to fill in with their own choices -he'll do all - be all -pretend all - #44 - Posted by: Don L on February 10, 2008 05:44 PMCould we get Dick Cheney in? He scares the left more than just about anything. Have you ever seen the political cartoons, his sneer is more frightening than a battleship laden with F-18's and F-22's to them. Put on an orange vest and hand him a shotgun with upland bird shot loaded in it....and he is more frightening than a squadron of B-52's backed by B-1 and B-1 bombers. Put newspaper on the floors of liberal homes, they will be wetting themselves if not more should Cheney choose to run. I don't know how Cheney would do against a Navy SEAL in a cage match, he is past his prime grappling years, but his snear might work... My shot at a hollywierd solution. #45 - Posted by: GregVolk on February 11, 2008 02:29 AMSorry, I meant B-1 AND B-2 bombers backing the Stratofortress'. #46 - Posted by: GregVolk on February 11, 2008 02:31 AM"LET'S GET OUT PEOPLE OUT OF IRAQ." What, all of them? How many nukes will that take? #47 - Posted by: Frank on February 12, 2008 03:40 PMPost a comment
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