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February 21, 2008
Can Lame Ducks Blow Up Satellites in Space?
I was thinking: You can call President Bush a lame duck, but apparently he just woke up one day and said, "Know what would be awesome? If we shot a satellite in space with a missile. That would kick ass. Go do it." And it was done. That's awesome power right there. Totally awesome. And think of the message it sends to America's enemies: "Look at what we did to something in space. You're on the ground, though. You're nothing. We can hit you easy." We should totally blow up more stuff in space to scare everyone else... like maybe the moon. 39 Responses To "Can Lame Ducks Blow Up Satellites in Space?"
OK, but have our missile land at the moon's north pole - like in your logo - 'cause NASA's planning a moonbase at the south pole (which is a strange coincidence). #1 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 21, 2008 06:39 PMYeah - did you see that chicken-sh*t moon trying to hide out when we were shooting up space junk last night. Close DamnCat, but thats Franks laser sight confirming the blast zone for the next 4th of July fireworks. #3 - Posted by: Dohtimes on February 21, 2008 07:09 PMIt wasn't Bush's idea. He is busy dancing in Africa. Don't you even read the news? I thought you were supposed to be a smart informed blogger? Guess you are really kinda dumb. Bush only has bad ideas like invading Iraq. He's the reason Obama is going to be the next president. We are stuck in Iraq now but I sure wish we weren't. Just think if there was no Iraq we wouldn't have to worry about Obama and someone more conservative easily could have become president. #4 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 07:39 PMNow Nate, that wasn't very nice at all. That doesn't sound like any of your personalities. Now these missiles are proving to be pretty @#$%^ accurate, but I assume they're not reaching escape velocity. If we did somehow manage to miss the next rogue satellite, where would the missile come down? (wink-wink-nudge-nudge). This satellite was said to be the size of a bus, so the missile must have had a pretty decent warhead. (wink-wink-nudge-nudge) It'd be a cryin' shame if our problems with rogue satellites accidentally led to, oh, I dunno, Sadr or Achmedinejad or Chavez getting a missile up his tailpipe. #5 - Posted by: innominatus on February 21, 2008 07:55 PMNow Nate, that wasn't very nice at all. That doesn't sound like any of your personalities. Well sometimes the truth hurts even if it's mean. I do not like Bush at all and everyone has seen the videos of him busy dancing in Africa. He doesn't get credit for cool Navy/NASA stuff. Not ever. No way. Frank needs to do better at reading the news. It should be pretty easy for a blogger to stay informed with so many social news tools and RSS feeds available. #6 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 07:59 PMExcept (oh the loathing) Nate has a point about our lame duck dancing in Africa. Swell, George. In other news, McCain's face was very pale today. Maybe Huckabee know's something we don't about longevity. Standby to pick your favorite socialist in the Texas debate. #7 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 21, 2008 08:02 PMYou're mean, Jimmy, bringing attention to the point on my head. There's plenty of room for a brain in there! *SOB* #8 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 09:00 PMGive Mav a pass; he was in Toledo today, and you can get pretty pale there. Nate would give credit for the space program and the moon shot to wads like LBJ and Nixon, and deny GWB one little old satellite? That's cold, man. 'Course none of them fellas had unpopular expensive foreign wars hanging around their legacies, nossir. #9 - Posted by: comatus on February 21, 2008 09:11 PMTell you what, comatus, the Mav should hire guys like us to help him spruce up his presentation. I would have used the "F" word to describe what the NYT could do with itself. His approval rating would have shot up 5 points on that alone. Nate, I'm not mean. But I wrote a poem about you that nobody commented on, including you. Remind me not to comment here during a socialist debate. Pisses me right the f*ck off. #10 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 21, 2008 09:30 PM#8 was the Other Nate. He is one of the Others. #11 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 09:54 PMI wonder how many other things Frank J. has wrongly given Bush credit for over the past eight years. I sure bet it is a lot! That's what happens bloggers don't do any research! #12 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 09:57 PMNo, you're one of the Others. I was on Oceanic Flight 815, you lying meanie! #13 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 10:26 PMNo, you're one of the Others. I was on Oceanic Flight 815, you lying meanie! No way. You are the Other. You are not as good at being me as I am. Everyone knows you are a phony Nate. It's so obvious. #14 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 10:31 PMOf course lame ducks can blow up satellites in space! Being lame just means they hurt their leg - they can still fly. #15 - Posted by: Master Shake on February 21, 2008 10:33 PMOh, thank you Master Shake for interrupting the Nate sputter. It's become like a replicating virus here. And look at George: he blows up hydrazine satellites while dancing in Africa. Of course, Rome is burning but, heck, one out of two aint bad on a night like this. #16 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 21, 2008 10:38 PMYou can't hit a bullet with a bullet, they said. We nailed a satellite right in the fuel tank! And as for warhead size, sorry folks, it was kinetic energy kill vehicle, whice is a fancy way of saying CHUNK O' METAL... but you get it chuggin' along and it makes little difference. #17 - Posted by: Cyrus on February 21, 2008 10:38 PMI bet that Other Nate is trying to make me leave or something but you know what guys? It just makes me more determined than ever to stay! It's like having a buddy to help you leave comments. It's pretty awesome. I can be here even when I am not. Talk about totally cool and awesome! #18 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 10:45 PMJust think if there was no Iraq we wouldn't have to worry about Obama and someone more conservative easily could have become president. #4 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 07:39 PM No Iraq... Yeah, that could be arranged. After we vacate the Americans, of course! Woah. A nuclear explosion!!! I don't think that would go over very well. That kind of talk is why Republicans are going to lose this election. It is idiots like Frank who keep defending or praising President Bush that has people running away from the Republican party like it is the Cloverfield monster. You can lay the blame for Obama being president almost entirely on bloggers like Frank J and people like readers of IMAO. If bloggers like him and people like you had been much more critical of Bush than Americans would not make the false Bush-Conservative association. You all have yourselves to thank for Obama. It makes me really angry at you people. You should have criticized Bush when you had the chance but you all were so hungry for the iraq war that you just let it happen. Then when things were going bad in Iraq instead of pointing this out you just kept pretending and lying to everyone that it was going great. It was really stupid of all of you. I'm super serious. And I'm Sarcasm Man. And it was real fun playing with you all again but I'm bored now. See ya. Please keep making new Nates while I'm away. And don't forget to look in the mirror and say "I'm responsible for Barack Obama." #20 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 11:02 PMGAZE #21 - Posted by: Jimmy on February 21, 2008 11:07 PMThis post and the Nuke the Moon concept brought another thought. How cool would it be to launch another moon - except, it's no moon ... it's a Death Star. A Death Star that sends out random 'missile lock' impulses when it rises over un-American countries. Just.For.The.Hell.Of.It? In low earth orbit, it wouldn't have to be the actual size of the moon to appear the same size as the moon. And we could even have lunar Death Star eclipses - any time and place we choose. Fun for the whole family! I'm the Sarc. #24 - Posted by: Nate on February 21, 2008 11:52 PM#18 was the Other Nate #25 - Posted by: Nate on February 22, 2008 12:08 AMThe many heads of Nate, I don't know what that poem means Jimmy but it sure is lovely. If I were you I would add a line about those delicious chocolate covered marshmallows you can now get at the Godiva store and maybe a line about a little ladybug sitting on a leaf that is covered in dew while a rainbow shines brilliantly in the sky above. To me that would make your poem even more interesting and all the more beautiful. #27 - Posted by: Nate on February 22, 2008 12:30 AMChocolates are yummy. Well, Nate - that was like totally gay! #29 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on February 22, 2008 07:22 AMHow cool would it be to launch another moon At first glance, I read that as "another moron" and thought "Well, we have enough Nates that we can afford to launch one." A sarcastic one, by preference, since we have an overabundant excess of redundant sarcasm surplussage as it is. #30 - Posted by: Bloodsong on February 22, 2008 09:55 AMThat a boy Nate. You just keep hanging around. Sooner or later something will penetrate that head full of "education" you've received thanks to our socialist friends in the education interment camps we call public schools and you will begin to see the light. Until then you provide the irritation needed for others to produce gems of wisdom and insight. Look at it this way your our own personal pet oyster. Providing a service all day, every day. Doesn't it feel good to be useful. #31 - Posted by: seanmahair on February 22, 2008 10:02 AMNifty. Your comments section decided on its own that my post was so important that most of it should be bolded, instead of the single letter (the R in moron) that I marked. Is this a sign that artificial intelligence exists? Since there is no direct way to distinguish between Nates, I think I will just start ignoring them. Glimmer of HOPE aside, it just isn't worth it. #33 - Posted by: echo5a on February 22, 2008 03:08 PMis Hillary a sign that artificial intelligence exists? In a narrow sense. While she's technically not living (i.e. undead... and not in a cool 'Dead Like Me' kind of way), she's still not totally artificial. Just mostly so. #34 - Posted by: AlanABQ on February 22, 2008 03:10 PMI truly believe that the 'original Nate' is FrankJ or Harvey, since FJ never posts beyond his original thought. No one could be really that naive without putting lots of thought into it. The original Nate is me. I don't like it when people start talking about you like you aren't real. It isn't very nice. I always try to say nice things and I write pretty poems for you all. Those Other Nates have made everyone think I am a phony. #36 - Posted by: Nate on February 22, 2008 07:40 PMAlways on-line, lurking. How do you do that if this isn't your only job, aside from sitting in the basement, spanking while you type? #37 - Posted by: bomas52 on February 22, 2008 07:49 PMThe point here is that Duckie Boy Blew ordered up that awesome mission without checking with anybody AND while dancing in Africa. I give GWB credit for giving money to the military so they can do cool things like that. It would've been badass if he said "Yippy Ki Yay Motherf***er" when the satellite exploded. I would've still been upset about the whole 'not securing the border very well thing', but at the same time want to give a high five. #39 - Posted by: ChrisA on February 23, 2008 01:39 PMPost a comment
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