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March 06, 2008
Obama Making Hillary "Blonder"
Posted by Harvey at 12:07 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (14)
Original Hillary [left]; Hillary who hasn't had two brain cells since she was pregnant with Chelsea [right]

WASHINGTON (AP) - After being criticized for making Obama "blacker", Clinton campaign officials fired back by claiming that Obama has been doctoring images of Hillary to make her look blonder while implying that her hair color makes her "too damn stupid to be president".

Obama spokesperson Kevin Griffis denies any hairism on the part of Obama. "The change in the image from the original to the ad was simply an accident of software and image compression. We did not mean to imply that Hillary keeps a coat hanger in her back seat in case she ever locks her keys in her car. Even though rumors abound."

Clinton has long maintained that "color should not be an issue in this campaign" and is confident that America is ready for a Flaxen-American president. "While it may be true that there's white out on my computer screen and that I peel the shells off M&M's to make chocolate chip cookies, there is no truth to the accusation that I once buried Cheerios in an effort to grow a donut tree."

Rating: 3.1/5 (26 votes cast)

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14 Responses To "Obama Making Hillary "Blonder""

since she was pregnant

I thought Chelsea was hatched...

#1 - Posted by: jks on March 6, 2008 12:25 PM

Hillary Clinton's campaign manager denied reports today that Hillary has been receiving psychotherapy for a recent series of nightmares regarding the campaign. In these dreams, she is repeatedly standing in front of a crowd while talking about her 35 years of experience, saying things like "I'm sure you can see how extensive my experience is." As she says that, her pants fall down and the crowd always gasps and screams something right out of a Twilight Zone episode, "Oh, no. NO CHANGE."

#2 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 6, 2008 01:04 PM

Sorry, but with the highlight of her defense plan being to put screen doors on all our submarines, I'm just not convinced.

#3 - Posted by: Raving Lunatic on March 6, 2008 01:39 PM

Jimmy, #2 is cruel. To us, that is. I almost lost my lunch with the image. Thanks a heap.

#4 - Posted by: Socrates on March 6, 2008 01:45 PM

You're very welcome, Socrates. For difficulty with lunch, swallow hard.

I wonder why Harvey's Funnies don't attract more story attempts? I found this latest Hillaryous. No, really. Makes me wanna to raise donuts in my deck garden with little Hillary ID tags.

#5 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 6, 2008 02:40 PM

While it's clearly true that Hillary Diane would be a fine phone answerer, there is one transcript of a phone conversation that many may not have seen:


 911 OPERATOR: Capitol 9-1-1, what's your emergency?

FEMALE CALLER: I think my house is on fire.

 911 OPERATOR: Where are you, ma'am?

FEMALE CALLER: In the kitchen, but Chelsea's asleep in the next room, so you'll have to speak softly.

 911 OPERATOR: Where is your house, ma'am?

FEMALE CALLER: It's the White House.

 911 OPERATOR: A white house, yes, but where is it located, ma'am?

FEMALE CALLER: Don't you know who I am? Just get here before Chelsea wakes up, or you'll be out on your ass, you got me?.

 911 OPERATOR: Yes, ma'am, but how are we supposed to get there?

FEMALE CALLER: Big red truck, moron!

#6 - Posted by: Socrates on March 6, 2008 03:22 PM

I have to say that I don't like Hillary, I won't vote for Hillary, I can't image that I would ever vote for her. That said it is sad that we have to focus on the color of peoples hair, skin, knickers or no knickers, race, religion and what ever else, just so we don't focus on the problems that really exist.

I'd vote for the Elephant man or the Bearded Lady if they had a policy that might possibly work, or even the ghost of a plan. I am getting so desperate that I'd vote for someone who had a plan to get a plan or even someone who admitted we need a plan.

#7 - Posted by: seanmahair on March 6, 2008 04:31 PM

Wow !! there sure is a lot of hatred here.
I can tell that there isn't going to be a lot of joy here on Nov 8th

#8 - Posted by: John Ryan on March 6, 2008 04:37 PM

seanmahair, we can't focus on the actual problems for long because most of us here would go berserk.

Oh, and Mr. Ryan, "revulsion" would be a better term. Are you here to join the club, or passing through "just sayin?"

#9 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 6, 2008 04:50 PM

Hi, John Ryan (IF that's your real name).

This site is part of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. So while it may appear to be filled with unbridled, venomous, seething hatred, that's only because it's Thursday and we're all feeling mellow. Wednesdays are puppy night at the Brethren Hall, so our bloodlust has be sated for now. Come back Sunday morning and we'll talk. Yes ... talk. What can that hurt -- a little talk?

#10 - Posted by: Socrates on March 6, 2008 05:07 PM

Eloquently and politely stated, Socrates. But I wouldn't have told him about our Sunday morning chats (involving all IMAO Brethren), lest he learn about the Order of RONIN. We need to keep that time a secret. The web is SO invasive nowadays, isn't it?

#11 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 6, 2008 05:29 PM

#8:

Are you the same John Ryan of "no actual damage" fame from Ace of Spades? You appear to be stupid enough to be the same "person".

#12 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 6, 2008 05:59 PM

Obamahammed isn't making Hillary blonder, he's making her paler. You know how evil whitey is! He's probably also trying to get you to infer that she's a secret "ginger".

#13 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 6, 2008 06:03 PM

One day Hill and Barry were having a nice walk in the woods. They found some tracks, and Hill said "oh look, deer tracks!" Barry said "no, those are coyote tracks."

"Deer tracks!" "Coyote tracks!" "Deer tracks!" "Coyote tracks!" And as they stood there arguing, a train came along and killed them both.

#14 - Posted by: Todd on March 6, 2008 10:15 PM
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