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March 10, 2008
I Would Like to Distance Myself from This Website and Everyone Who Reads It
An Editorial by Senator John McCain
I would like to thank Frank J. for the opportunity to officially distance myself from this website and all the crap on it. I plan to run a campaign respectful to Senators Clinton and Obama and disrespectful to you annoying little "conservatives" who try and make me look bad. I swear, I'm going to win the presidency, and I don't need your whining about campaign finance reform and the illegal brown people to ruin it! You right-wing weirdos -- especially you freaks on the internet -- are nothing but a liability. If you could just learn to shut up about your pansy-ass issues, I could cruise to victory. I hate you people so much, but if you could just be quiet vote for me at the end of the day, we can all get through this. I just need you to cut down on crap like this website. "You guys are nuts and I hate you." You know how you don't like my campaign finance reform bill? Well, I'm starting to think it was a bad bill since sites likes this IDBO -- or whatever the hell you call it -- are still legal. A staffer showed me it the other day, and it's just a bunch of crap about monkeys and fighting the moon. I don't want the taint of any of you people on my campaign. I'm not a pariah among elite society like you jackasses, and I want to keep it that way. You think putting an afro on Senator Obama to make him look like a black man is funny? Know what else is funny? My foot up your ass! Let me make this clear: You guys are nuts and I hate you. If I didn't need your votes, I would never come within a hundred miles of you "conservatives." I'm starting to think I hate you more than the gooks who tortured back in Vietnam. That said, you snot-nosed punks better get in line and rally behind me even while I curse your mothers for having given birth to you. If you want to win the war in Iraq and keep this country strong, I'm your only option you little snot-nosed punks. If you think some of the bills I've sponsored are bad so far, just wait until what I introduce if I'm still in the Senate in 2009, bitches. I will make your lives hell. That's your choice. You can stay home and let someone surrender our country (with all due respect the honorable Senators Clinton and Obama) and have me forever seeking revenge against you, or you can vote for me come November. And if you all behave really well, maybe I'll choose a running mate who doesn't live to piss all over you right-wingers every chance he gets. But don't count on it. I just hate you all so @#$% much. And I need your vote. John McCain is a U.S. Senator from Arizona and the presumptive Republican nominee for president in the 2008 election. His favorite hobbies are being angry and pissing off conservatives. Frank, I nearly fell off my chair. You so completely captured the bastard's essence, that I nearly scanned his website for a link to this one. #1 - Posted by: r2streu on March 10, 2008 11:12 AMWow! I think I need my mommy after reading this! Gee-wiss mr. Senator! I think it’s about time you gave some of your “straight talk express” to people who need to just stop being really really bad and start supporting our country like you do! Golly gee, Senator, I think you are so keen! I am going to go out and tell all my friends to vote for you because I think you will be a swell President! My daddy says you are a homosexual, Mr. McCain, what does that mean? #2 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on March 10, 2008 11:25 AMI'd like to apologize in advance for all the negative things I've said and am going to say about John McCain and all the altered names I'm going to call him (like, McPain). Unless, of course, he starts acting like a Conservative. Oh, and if he selects Fred Thompson or Mitt Romney as his running mate, I'll stop this negativity right now. #3 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 10, 2008 11:28 AMIf you think some of the bills I've sponsored are bad so far, just wait until what I introduce if I'm still in the Senate in 2009, bitches. He makes a good point. As President, he can't pass legislation. Of course, he'll have plenty of Dems to whom to "reach across the aisle" and he'll probably sign whatever garbage they pass.... #4 - Posted by: Master Shake on March 10, 2008 11:40 AMIn his defense he sure does know how to channel his anger into liberal NY Times reporters. I think he hates them more than us, and it is entertaining. #5 - Posted by: CraigO on March 10, 2008 11:48 AMGreat job Frank J! That's the best post I've read in some time. #6 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 10, 2008 11:57 AMWait a minute. If he hates us so much, then why is there an ad next to where I'm typing that says he has "A clear record of conservatism"? #7 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 10, 2008 12:00 PMThat is painfully accurate. The hell of it is, the bastard still has my vote. #8 - Posted by: ticticboom on March 10, 2008 12:01 PMWell, you know what they say about good humor/satire....it has to have an element of truth to it in order to be funny.... BTW, forgot to add the following: SCREW YOU, MCCAIN! JUST YOU LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING TO US FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS OR HOWEVER LONG IT'S BEEN! #10 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 10, 2008 12:09 PMKnow what else is funny? My foot up your ass! He's got a point. That would be kinda funny to see him beat the ever-living !@%$ out of some random conservative, especially if he then balanced it out with an equally brutal beating of a smelly hippy. I think any conservative would be willing to make that sacrifice if it meant that a hippy would get beaten almost to death. #11 - Posted by: Abigail on March 10, 2008 01:14 PM#7 Because Ad-bots are as dumb as your average Code Pink activist and Frank likes money. It must warm FrankJs heart to know that politician are giving him money to make fun of them. #12 - Posted by: Brian The Adequate on March 10, 2008 01:17 PMYou sir, need an enema. #13 - Posted by: seanmahair on March 10, 2008 01:30 PMSorry, Mr McCain sir, You need an enema. Sorry for the confusion. #14 - Posted by: seanmahair on March 10, 2008 01:30 PMNow, that's downright nasty, seanmahair. Worse than Harvey's waterboarding. In the Navy, they use greaseguns for enemas. The enema of my enema is my...oh crap. #15 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 10, 2008 01:37 PMDamn, that Frank J is funny. #16 - Posted by: Senator John McCain on March 10, 2008 01:38 PMEven with the help of this excellent editorial he has so kindly provided, it is still impossible to tell which cog is slipping in mccain's brain: the one that makes him so arrogant and angry that he doesn't give damn about the conservative base of the party or the principles it embodies, or the cog that makes him live in a dream world where we can, to coin a phrase, "all just get along". Maybe it's both. Maybe the whole gear train in his head is off its pins. mccain-kennedy was so irrational that is the only explanation that makes sense. In any case, this editorial is a keeper. #17 - Posted by: George on March 10, 2008 01:39 PMWHERE'S THE FENCE? #18 - Posted by: dm60462 on March 10, 2008 02:19 PMSo I'm thinking that this editorial sounds just like McCain, except there's no "My friends..." anywhere. Then I get to Jimmy's comment 'The enema of my enema is my...oh crap' and it all starts to make sense... The old man is gonna spray his gravy all over everybody #19 - Posted by: innominatus on March 10, 2008 02:42 PMIt will be a cold day in Hades before I vote for a RINO like Sen. Juan McAmesty. I guess this is what we get for rejecting the only Constitutionalist in the race, Rep. Ron Paul. #20 - Posted by: kberdahl on March 10, 2008 03:18 PM#20 - Posted by: kberdahl on March 10, 2008 03:18 PM Hey, knock it off! You're soiling the good name of McCain-hating people everywhere! #21 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 10, 2008 03:26 PMYou can make your own McCain gravy. Just add water. #22 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 10, 2008 03:30 PMI guess this is what we get for rejecting the only Constitutionalist in the race, Rep. Ron Paul. #20 - Posted by: kberdahl on March 10, 2008 03:18 PM If RP hadn't blamed America for the problems in the Middle East, and given tacit approval of the twoofers, I would be inclined to shoot him my protest vote. But with these two points, I simply can't support him even as a protest vote. #23 - Posted by: echo5a on March 10, 2008 03:38 PMGive the guy a break. John McCain is too old to beat up a conservative; He might throw out his hip throwing his Geritol at us or something. A hippy no problem, As for voting for Ron Paul as a protest vote against McCain, I'm all for that!!! At least Paul's stance on Illegal drugs means I can be so drugged up I won't even notice the world going to hell when we slash defense and gut our intelligence capabilities. RON PAUL 08: Could be worse. Could be McCain!! Utterly brilliant. It even sounds like him. LOL does ANYONE have a picture of Senator McCain bent over a log or a bed or over ANYTHING with his pants down around his ankles? If so, please please please share with IMAO!!! It will be the fodder for humor for the next 5 years!!! #26 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on March 10, 2008 04:37 PMNo. That's a greasegun offense, ussjc. Besides, McCain is the enema of big oil. #27 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 10, 2008 05:17 PMI think the VC made McCaint a commie sleeper cell. #28 - Posted by: Blackdog on March 10, 2008 10:39 PMI've read this three times, and still can't stop laughing long enough to decide how to link to it. #29 - Posted by: Aaron - Free Will: The Blog on March 11, 2008 01:25 AM"Wait a minute. If he hates us so much, then why is there an ad next to where I'm typing that says he has "A clear record of conservatism"?" Marco, if you check the definition, you will find that "clear" means that you can see right through it. Likewise McCain's conservativism is something you can see right through and it looks like big goveernment liberalism to me. Save this post -it is merely ahead of its time -these words will actually spill out of his mouth soon unless he fails to out-liberal Hillary and Obama and he loses the auction ..,er...election. #30 - Posted by: on March 12, 2008 05:16 PMOh. Ohhhhh, yesssss. That scratched the itch, right there. And I could just hear it red out in his crabby little old man voice, too. #31 - Posted by: S. Weasel on March 12, 2008 05:29 PMThat's okay Juan, we have already distanced ourselves from the likes of you so I can understand you wanting to retaliate. It will be a cold day in Hades before I vote for a RINO like Sen. Juan McAmesty. #32 - Posted by: Katablog on March 12, 2008 10:03 PMHelp elect the Council on Foreign Relations member, John McCain. #33 - Posted by: Bob on March 12, 2008 10:54 PMPost a comment
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Stumble It!
An Editorial by Senator John McCain"