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March 12, 2008
Middle School Student Suspended for Having Gun in Name
LANCASTER, PA (AP) - The family of Pennsylvania middle school student John Gunderson has filed a federal lawsuit against the school district after John was suspended for having a last name that starts with "gun", in violation of Penn Manor High School's "zero-tolerance" policy.
"This is the craziest thing I've ever heard of," said John's father Michael Gunderson, "but in a strange way, I guess we should have seen it coming. Last December, they suspended a kid for having a picture of a gun on his T-shirt. Not a 'I'm going to Columbine your ass' kinda T-shirt, mind you, but a 'I'm going to kill terrorists' kinda T-shirt. What kind of decent American WOULDN'T like that T-shirt after 9-11?" "Still," continued Michael, "I didn't think they'd get any loonier than that. When John told me about a kid in his English class who got suspended for writing a report on famous animal trainer Gunther Gebel-Williams, I still didn't make the connection. I just figured his teacher was some sort of animal rights whack-job who thought that anything you do to an animal besides letting it eat you automatically qualifies as cruelty." "Guess I was wrong," he concluded sadly. An attorney for the school district said the school must create a safe environment for students in the post-Columbine era, and bringing even the letters g-u-n to school violates the district's policy. "There's a much higher level of sensitivity these days," Penn Manor attorney Kevin French said. "But it's based on reality. After we banned actual G-words, and then images of G-words, the next logical step is to completely ban the G-word itself. John G-wordderson's name is obviously in violation of that policy. The only way to protect our community's children is to provide them with a 100% safe learning environment, and we've really only just beG-word to do that." 22 Responses To "Middle School Student Suspended for Having Gun in Name"
I gave this post 5 stars because it has a picture of Reagan. So if you want a sub-1-star post, don't post pictures of Ronaldus Magnus. #1 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 12, 2008 12:22 PMThis is very frightening news. I'm worried that this sort of thing could spread to others, such as myself, with weapon names placed embarrassingly in our name. But I can certainly see the school's point of view. I don't know how many times I've seen people fall to the floor writhing in pain at the simple mention of my name. Entertainment value aside, it causes distractions at the beach and in church. I can only imagine the effect people named Gundersen have, not to mention what those named Dickerson or Ball go through. #2 - Posted by: Socrataser on March 12, 2008 12:41 PMAre dyslexic liberals campaigning for the total banning of all gnus in our zoos? #3 - Posted by: GEBIV on March 12, 2008 12:43 PMthats unbelievable! What next =? I denounce the speciesm inherrent in commenter #3 implying that Gnus belong in Zoos. #5 - Posted by: John McCain on March 12, 2008 12:51 PMthose mofo teachers suck #6 - Posted by: joe on March 12, 2008 12:51 PMActually it is pronounced " Ray-Gun". Whoever implements changing Raygun to Raygan will be shot by a tazer, a lazer, or some other ultra modern weapon guided by idiot seeking target lock technology. I agree, five stars for the portrait. #7 - Posted by: GregVolk on March 12, 2008 12:52 PMyou fucking jews!? #8 - Posted by: joe on March 12, 2008 12:55 PMI shouldn't have named my kids Colt, Winchester, Smithenwesson and Berretta. Damn, I should have seen this coming. -Roland Thompson #9 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on March 12, 2008 12:59 PM#7 - Posted by: GregVolk on March 12, 2008 12:52 PM ALL HAIL REAGAN! #10 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on March 12, 2008 01:02 PMThe truly frightening part of it is that I'm not sure if this is satire or not. #11 - Posted by: MegaTroopX on March 12, 2008 02:09 PMthat cant be legal.. bunch of nazis It is a sad commentary on the stupidity of the educational system that, even I, who have been around this site quite a bit had to skim the post to get to the topic, so I would know not to call my congressman, Rush or the inane principle himself. This is so real it's truly frightening. Good job Harvey! #13 - Posted by: seanmahair on March 12, 2008 03:43 PMI guess that means that John Gunther's works will be banned along with James Clavell's Shogun. Let's see... Alistair MacLean's Guns of Navarone... This list could get large, Harvey. #14 - Posted by: Jimmy on March 12, 2008 05:06 PMwow, barack oBOMBa was lucky he didn't go to that school... #15 - Posted by: hatless in hattiesburg on March 12, 2008 06:37 PMI live near the North Richland Adams school district. And they use their initials on all of their tee-shirts. Heh. #16 - Posted by: on March 13, 2008 09:51 AMthose nigga ass teachers #17 - Posted by: jimmers on March 13, 2008 10:58 AMIm a racist S.O.B and swastica is my middle name #18 - Posted by: on March 13, 2008 11:00 AM'I'm going to Columbine your ass'---- very funny #19 - Posted by: Ronald Reagan on March 13, 2008 11:04 AMthis rticle is funny but fucked up #20 - Posted by: joe on March 13, 2008 12:35 PMyes sir #21 - Posted by: the J5 on March 13, 2008 12:37 PMshirts are cool #22 - Posted by: G.W. Bush on March 13, 2008 12:46 PMPost a comment
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