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March 19, 2008
In My World: Throw Grandma Under the Bus
Posted by Frank J. at 01:17 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (24)

Obama knelt by his maternal grandmother. "You just sit here while I give my speech."

"You make me proud, little Barry."

"I will, grandma."

"Yes, I know, grandma. You hate Mexicans too."
Obama walked to the microphone. One of the crowd shouted, "We love you Obama!"

"I love you too, press," Obama said. "Now, it's time to talk about the important issue of race. As you see, I have my grandmother with me..." He pointed to his grandmother behind him who smiled and waved to the press. "...a horrible ignorant white racist."

"What! Why you little--"

"There she goes again." Obama chuckled. "Probably about to say another racial epithet."

"You little bastard! I--"

"Yes, we know, grandma," Obama interrupted her. "Black people love to steal and rob. You told me a million times." He looked back at the press. "Still I love her, and she showed her love to me in her own racist way, making sure she always had plenty of fried chicken and watermelon for my visits."

"I raised you, you ungrateful--"

"It's okay, grandma," Obama told her. "Remember? It's me; your grandson. I'm not going to steal your purse." He turned back to the press. "You see, I can't disown Jeremiah Wright anymore than I can disown my crazy racist grandma."

"How dare you compare me with that insane preacher you decided to hang out with. I should--"

"Yes, I know, grandma. You hate Mexicans too." He looked back to the press. "I want to create racial healing and understanding, so that's why I want you to know that all black people are just like Wright and suspect you white people of making HIV to kill them. From that understanding, we can begin the healing."

"I always knew you were a lying little--"

Obama laughed. "I better take my grandma home before she starts another ignorant, racist rant."

"We're all going to vote for you, Obama!" one of the reporters shouted.

"Thanks." He then turned to his grandma. "Time to go home now."

"I'm going to tell everyone how you--"

Obama looked to an aide. "Take her to a nursing home."

"Which one?"

"I dunno; one with locks."

His aides carted away his screaming grandma. Obama smiled to himself. "I love racial healing. Dumb crackers just eat that up."

Rating: 2.5/5 (27 votes cast)

In My World
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