I’m John McCain and I’d like to distance myself from this Blog which is out of touch with reality! My campaign will not tolerate this sort of racial discrimination against my good friend Senator Obama and I now issue orders from my position as Master of The Universe that this Blog cease and desist immediately or be destroyed from on high!!!

#1 is an imposter! I'm John McCain and I DO hate conservatives!! They think they know everything and they're always RIGHT about stuff and they embarass the hell out of me. I hate them! Go away! I don't need you people, you philosophical whippersnappers! ussjimmycarter is a McCain lover!

I call on Senator McCain to extend his Vice Presidential nomination to Barack Obama.

As the only African American left running, it would be racist not to select him.

Meanwhile, Barack Obama should ask Tom Coburn, to show their mutual support for Bill Ayers.

The obvious choice for Hillary is of course Chris Rock.

But seriously, it would be hyper cool if McCain selected Coburn for Veep.

But he won't. He'll probably go for an woman of color, but definitely a woman. That's why Obama is the perfect pick.

No, I'M John McCain. And since I took my meds today, I've decided Wright is fair game. But I still want NC to stop running the ad. Bunch of racist hicks. Next thing you know they'll be clinging to guns and bibles. I'm already elected, I don't need you knuckle-draggers voting for me. Do as you're told or I'll make your state into a vacation land for undocumented Americans. Arrrrrgh! Where's my valium? WHERE'S MY LITHIUM???

I'm John McCain and I approved this message. This rumor about me having a 'temper' is a lot of bull. It was actually started by conservative members of MY party. It's , d#mn it! You conservatives don't know what it's like to sacrifice for your country or your candidate. If you don't shutup and get in line behind me, I'm gonna kick your a$$ out of MY PARTY. It's MY PARTY and I can swear if I want to. What has this country come to? Amnesty, the 1st Amendment, global warming and campaign finance reform are off the fricken table for you guys. So, shut up already and listen to me! Mo!@#$ F@#$#%* #@#$%@ @#$%2346 @#$^#$ %^*&#$%^! Now send in your campaign contributions, you... you... you... conservative holdouts! (Razzle frazzle crazzle razzle crance. I'm not gonna dignify that with an answer.....)

I totally reject this commentary and as a sign of my reconciliation I propose to the Democratic nominee for president that we each pledge that, if elected, the other will act as vice president.

There, that should really piss of those conservativ... is thing still on?

C'mon now, take that back. McCain doesn't hate Obama nearly as much as conservatives.

I’m John McCain and I’ve decided not to get in the middle of the arguments on this Blog! I will not run my campaign (which is so super squeaky clean and is the best run and is so awesome that the NY Times really really really likes me) with the same tenor of this Blog, but I will not insert myself into these “discussions” within our party…

I'm John McCain,

As soon as we hit the 90 day mark until the election I will send a government enforcer to stick a gun to the head of the author of this blog and any commentors if they mention my name.

McCain for Pres.

Amen, from a NC conservative. Finally, we get to speak, sort of, actually only NC democrats get to speak, but still, at least they'll say our states name several times, not related to basketball.

I'm John McCain, and I not only distance myself from these statements but also from this website as a whole. Furthermore, I will be joining with the biggest liberal I can find to further infringe upon the first amendment, limiting the free speech of this and all websites who don't agree with me, or as I like to call it, are "out of touch."

Fcastle, it ain't much, but I have a means for us NC Cons to at least flip him the bird. Click on my name & go to the blog.