Very much the same indeed lol. They are all plotting against us, I think we should kill them all. Starting with the zoos.

Frank, did you see the episode of Dirty Jobs where Mike had to go to a monkey rehab center in South Africa? The cunning and ferocity of those monkeys is downright chilling.
I agree with you - apes, monkeys, lemurs, whatev... If it isn't human but has an opposable thumb - fill it full of arsenic and bullet holes.

"And, yes, I've never been touched by a woman"

SarahK is going to have your tail for that line, friend.

the previous relationship advice brought to you by HKpistole, btw.

The General from Planet of the Apes will trash you for your woeful ignorance between monkeys and Apes.

He'll do you like he did Markey Mark.

Monkeys are one step above humans on the evolutionary scale!

And, what being even more, one of you guys called Harry Reid monkey-face. That, sir, is a massive underrepresentation of monkeys.

Hi, I'm John McCain, and I'd like to distance myself from the sentiments expressed in this post. This web sites feelings towards Simian-Americans do not represent the kind of attitude I represent. As the Republican nominee for President I AM the boss of all things conservative, so cut it out you bunch of right-wing nutsacks. Please disappear without a trace until election day, when I would like you to come out in droves and vote for me.

Although not technically voters, millions of Simian-Americans will be voting in this election (except in Indiana) because of lax enforcement of voting rules, and I hope that they will consider voting for me and I don't need you pissing them off.

You speciest bastard!!!

Since when does it matter if the smelly thing throwing poo at you is an ape, a monkee, or a hippie?

/Since when does it matter if the smelly thing throwing poo at you is an ape, a monkee, or a hippie?/

monkeys and apes are protected species - hippies, you can punch.

Ok, I'll shut up. But, Frank, have Sarah take you to a petting zoo, okay? If you're lucky, they'll have cotten candy and root beer, too. It'll help you feel better.

No matter what you call them, they all taste pretty much the same.

OOK!

OK, with monkeys vs apes, I had to post this, ummm, educational video : http://youtube.com/watch?v=--szrOHtR6U

I'm not going to nitpick your choice of bioterminology.

I will nitpick your parliamentary procedure.

Technically, you are seeking a Point of Personal Privilege, after the insertion of so many Points of Information.

"The gorillas were the warriors, the chimpanzees were the pacifists, and the orungutans couldn't decide.

I, after hearing evidence from a number of experts, including Mrs. Slipdry the midwife, certify that the balance of probability is that the bearer of this document, Frank J., is a human being.
Signed, Lord Vetinari

Eek Ook!

i will now render my verdict. Monkeys (apes included) are guilty of being rude, destructive, smelly creatures, and while smarter than hippies, don't deserve protection.

Whatever. Elephants are WAAAAY worse that some stupid little simians. How many people die each year from monkeys? That's right - 7. Meanwhile, elephants continue their murderous rampage of millions and millions.

And what exactly is a Macaque supposed to do - nibble your bum? (That last phrase must be said in Sir Robin's voice as he asks about the Killer Rabbit) The things are like 18 inches long - just kick them into the next zip code and they're no longer a threat. They're smart enough to use tools so they're smart enough to understand superior firepower.

But elephants are *&$# huge! They don't need to learn to use a spear - they already have two of them on their face - ON THEIR FACE, Frank! Elephants aren't afraid of alligators but there isn't a monkey alive that would take on a watering hole in the Serangetti during the dry season. What about that club that passes for a nose? They could flip a car over with that thing.

And, while you can use a simple .22 to slaughter an entire village of Marmosets and it would take a .30-06 to take out a gorilla, I dare you try that with a full-grown African Bull Elephant. You wouldn't leave enough remains to be identified by your dental x-rays.

If you want to know why there are so few videos of people being slaughtered by elephant gangs it's because there are very rarely any survivors in a fight with an elephant. They just stab and pound and stomp until there all the components of the helpless victim are beaten into a fine red powder.

If you want to worry about some idiotic howler monkey, you better watch your back because while the stupid simian is doing tricks and flinging poo, an elephant will sneak up behind you, grab you with his trunk and make what happened to that guy in the movie Alien look like an episode of Sesame Street.

I liked Sesame Street.

Except for his fatal attraction to blond bimbo actresses, KING KONG was a monkey I think even you could respect. Although, to be truthful, I respect Mighty Joe Young even more than KONG, due to Joe's success in playing "Hide & Go Seek" with Charlize Theron. Your opinion may differ.