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May 01, 2008
I Am WE

I confess.

I signed up for Al Gore's WE campaign.

"Keep your friends close..." etc.

This week, their panicky save-the-planet e-mail is something that I could only dream of having the talent to make up. I offer it with [brief commentary]:

"As climate change causes the continued shrinkage of Arctic sea ice, polar bears are increasingly at risk. Leading American scientists say placing the polar bear on the federal Endangered Species list is key to its survival. [Why would we want to encourage the survival of an animal that deliberately hunts and kills human beings?]

"A federal court has given the Bush administration until May 15 to decide if it will list the polar bear as endangered. Click here to tell Secretary of Interior Dirk Kempthorne that the polar bear, and its fragile [see also: "RMS Titanic"] Arctic habitat, requires protection from the effects of global warming."

"If the Secretary listens to the scientists, the polar bear will gain important protections. Additionally, federal agencies will need to consider how their future activities could affect the species -- and that could be an important step [after they cave in to this, we'll issue our NEXT demand] in leading the government to reduce its greenhouse gas emissions. Please sign our petition to protect polar bears today."

Today they want to protect furry white terrorists wielding blunt instruments capable of plunging an ocean liner to the darkest depths of Davy Jones, tomorrow I'm guessing it'll be furry brown terrorists wielding nukes.

These people are not on our side, and I hate them.

Which leads me to my next point: they're having a membership drive contest until May 30th. If I can get 20 people to sign up, I get an organic cotton T-shirt with the lame-ass WE logo. And if I can get 50 people to sign up, I get "offered the opportunity to become a 'WeLeader' and receive a 'WeLeader' t-shirt."

Now despite the fact the title "WeLeader" sounds like I'm winning a urinating contest of some sort, the thought has crossed my mind that such a position might avail me to information about this vile conglomeration of hippies and freedom-haters not generally accessible to the public. Could be interesting.

So I'm testing the waters to see if there are enough people interested in playing along for me to give this a shot. If you're game for gaming the system, prove your sincerity by leaving a fake hippie nickname for my amusement (like "SunshineRainbow" or "polrbearhugr" or whatever) in the comments. If I get at least 50 volunteers, we'll move on to stage 2, wherein I'll e-mail you privately and ask you to tell me what e-mail address you'd like me to send the WE invite to (since you probably don't want your GOOD e-mail address getting clogged with WEspam).

If I don't get 50 volunteers, then I'll know this was an ill-conceived scheme that deserves to die a quick, nasty death, and I'll not suggest it again.

It's up to you now.

Rating: 0.5/5 (1 vote cast)

WEsistance Is Facile
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
109 Responses To "I Am WE"

Guess I'm number one.

#1 - Posted by: gaiaLover on May 1, 2008 10:04 PM

I think a group WE would be fun.

#2 - Posted by: beaverlovr on May 1, 2008 10:11 PM

Count me in, WeLeader.

#3 - Posted by: Forrest Ferntree on May 1, 2008 10:11 PM

WE must screw with them.

#4 - Posted by: the Hempster on May 1, 2008 10:18 PM

This should be fun.

#5 - Posted by: Herb I. Vore on May 1, 2008 10:19 PM

Hey, count me in. The Goreacle could use some humbling.

#6 - Posted by: SteveoAtilla on May 1, 2008 10:26 PM

oh yes. I really, really want to have lots of enviroscum mailings clogging my email.

#7 - Posted by: Ded bar on May 1, 2008 10:28 PM

This is probably a stupid question but can I just make up any random e-mail address? Something like savethetreesandanimals@lovetheearth.com.


#8 - Posted by: ForGodsSakeThinkAboutEarth on May 1, 2008 10:30 PM

Glorious!

#9 - Posted by: Gaiaphilia on May 1, 2008 10:36 PM

I used to be in Greenpeace (blush) may years ago, so it would be totally believable if I were to join something like this. Still wear tie dye and Burkies, but now it hides a conservative in very effective camouflage.

#10 - Posted by: EarthIsOurMom on May 1, 2008 10:39 PM

I'll do it.

#11 - Posted by: Anita Bath on May 1, 2008 10:55 PM

I love it. A Green Operation Chaos!

Count me in oh great lover of the earth!

#12 - Posted by: patrick5 on May 1, 2008 11:04 PM

Oops forgot my enviro handle: Feelinghothothot

#13 - Posted by: patrick5 on May 1, 2008 11:06 PM

Save the polar bears!

#14 - Posted by: Balbo Shrooms on May 1, 2008 11:10 PM

I'm down. The name on the email address was alot of fun to vome up with.

#15 - Posted by: Dr. Phat Tony on May 1, 2008 11:16 PM

I'm all for fighting the from within

#16 - Posted by: TheReasonGasPricesAreHigh on May 1, 2008 11:40 PM

If we can get enough people to report them as spam, will that clog them up even more? I am lukewarm to the idea, but don't know if I want to be associated with terrorist. Give me a chance to create a fake email account at a free mail sight, that I will never use again.

#17 - Posted by: nonviolentLSDninja on May 1, 2008 11:58 PM

I'll do it. Give me further instructions, Dear Leader. Do I just go sign up? Or do you have to do it?

#18 - Posted by: BusterDog on May 2, 2008 12:11 AM

Call me Ishmael. Oh wait, call me fishmeal...or was it fishtail...how about Mermander...or does that sound gay? Count me in.

#19 - Posted by: Tennesteve on May 2, 2008 12:12 AM

I remember when a guy down the hall bought a WE. He played that bowling game all day, and with the volume really loud. Very annoying.

#20 - Posted by: Michael R. on May 2, 2008 12:19 AM

How much information are they going to want from me if I were to agree?

#21 - Posted by: Rubeus on May 2, 2008 12:21 AM

I will if there is a promise of a picture with "our" WEleader and his new T forthcoming in a future blog post

#22 - Posted by: Al Koholek on May 2, 2008 12:34 AM

Why not it could be fun....

#23 - Posted by: Savethewhales:Collect them all? on May 2, 2008 12:57 AM

I'll help you out for sure!!!

#24 - Posted by: Adam Hyman on May 2, 2008 03:04 AM

count me in.

#25 - Posted by: luvtreeh8bush on May 2, 2008 04:12 AM

If you reach 50 volunteers, do we have to punch ourselves for acting like hippies? I haven't punched myself since I was 5 and popped my 9-year old sister's bubblegum bubble. It got into her hair, so she repeatedly asked me the classic bully question, "Why are you hitting yourself?". I didn't think very far ahead in kindergarten. And the worst part... now you all know I was beaten up by a girl. It is a good thing we are using fake loser leftard names.

#26 - Posted by: 420reggaeman on May 2, 2008 05:18 AM

I'm in!

#27 - Posted by: LunaLuvr on May 2, 2008 06:28 AM

Ok I'm all for it...complete with fake email address well no its real i just dont plan on ever reading it.

#28 - Posted by: SummersEve on May 2, 2008 06:45 AM

Oh yes! Count me in.

#29 - Posted by: Terra Matris on May 2, 2008 07:08 AM

Sounds interesting. I'm up for it.

/my first post

#30 - Posted by: Fizz on May 2, 2008 07:36 AM

I'm in, Frank. I'd subscribe to any newsletter you recommended, as long as it's not some environmentalist wacko thing recommended by Harvey. Where do I sign?

#31 - Posted by: Socrates on May 2, 2008 08:09 AM

I’m in. Uuuuuhhhh…why do I all of a sudden feel so dirty…..and stinky….and punchable?

#32 - Posted by: quer&prdwarnomore on May 2, 2008 08:10 AM

I am in. I already get the MoveOn.org and Hildabeast newsletters at the address used for this comment. Feel free to just use it without the bother of the private e-mail.

As an aside, I highly recomend signing up for MoveOn at a junk e-mail address. It is a great tool to monitor when you should to contact your congresscritter to oppose their stupid stand of the week. If you send them a copy of your e-mail, they will even thank you for actively opposing them.

#33 - Posted by: Brian The TreeHugger on May 2, 2008 08:24 AM

I know you are all going to hate me, but I went to the Interior web site and submitted my own petition...

==========================================
alGore is trying to make the Polar Bear an endangered species because he thinks global warming is destroying their habitat.

I refer to the following file by the "National Center for Policy Analysis" (specifically page 14) which shows that we had better make it retroactive by more than 3,000 years because it was substantially warmer in Roman and Medieval times than it is today or will be in the near future.

"A Global Warming Primer"

#34 - Posted by: zypldot on May 2, 2008 08:27 AM

I'm in too--but something's gotta happen to that T-shirt you get too! :-)

#35 - Posted by: CCN on May 2, 2008 08:27 AM

This is a wonderfully earthy idea...

#36 - Posted by: Captain Planet on May 2, 2008 08:50 AM

Oh yeah...

#37 - Posted by: SavetheHamstrAlec on May 2, 2008 08:52 AM

I'll be Weedsmkr....and I'm in. Long time reader, first time poster too. Way to bring me out of the woodwork. I have an email addy I don't mind crapping up, but not this one.

#38 - Posted by: Olorin on May 2, 2008 08:58 AM

Ok, (TerribleTroy here) I'll play.

My call sign will be URSAPROTCTR

#39 - Posted by: UrsaPrtctr on May 2, 2008 09:03 AM

Okay, I'm in. I just created some free-email address. Let's own these idiots!

#40 - Posted by: ForGodsSakeThinkAboutEarth on May 2, 2008 09:05 AM

crunchygranola is IN!

#41 - Posted by: LC Scotty on May 2, 2008 09:10 AM

It's not too late to say "Me too!"

Me too!

#42 - Posted by: xaetognath on May 2, 2008 09:27 AM

This is the most hippie-ish nickname I could conceive.

#43 - Posted by: Ann Arbor Resident on May 2, 2008 09:50 AM

Count me in. If you send me one of the t-shirts I promise to send you a video of me doing a burnout on it with a gas-guzzling muscle car.

#44 - Posted by: PatchouliPrius on May 2, 2008 09:50 AM

I'm there for ya brother. In fact, lets game the system even more and advance an idea that sounds just plausible enough to gain traction; like having scientists dart polar bears and fit them with life jackets.

(Would it hurt your feelings to know that the email address I already use to post here will work just fine?)

#45 - Posted by: MoonDog on May 2, 2008 10:00 AM

evens though i am terrest, i will help you.

#46 - Posted by: M'Balz Es-Hari on May 2, 2008 10:03 AM

I'm in. You already have my e-mail address. What better name for a redneck in his mid-fifties than Precious Butterfly?

#47 - Posted by: Silicon Valley Jim on May 2, 2008 10:03 AM

I'm in. My hippie name shall be...transgender_ghia!

Here's a couple more if anyone wants to use them:

* nightsoil_raider
* m_bear_assed
* sisyphist
* poezzer
* inoesbetter
* hugh_g_buttz
* gorehore

#48 - Posted by: FormerHostage on May 2, 2008 10:24 AM

#45 - Posted by: PatchouliPrius on May 2, 2008 09:50 AM

And I'll burn it with a gallon of gasoline!

#49 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on May 2, 2008 10:27 AM

I'm in - I signed up as rainbowsun1974 at yahoo

Should be fun.

#50 - Posted by: Linda F on May 2, 2008 10:29 AM

I thought a WEELeader was Kim Jong Il. Or Achmadingdong, he's pretty small, too...

I thought about using Ike_Hillipes.
Or maybe Furluver
Or maybe Gorefister

#51 - Posted by: Raving Lunatic on May 2, 2008 10:32 AM

How do "WE" make sure that you get credit for our signing up?

#52 - Posted by: Thomas on May 2, 2008 10:35 AM

I'm curious to see how this turns out.

#53 - Posted by: Earthowarrior on May 2, 2008 10:36 AM

Like, dude, I'm totally cool with this idea.
Count me in!

(hippies ARE a renewable resource)

#54 - Posted by: biodiesel4ever on May 2, 2008 10:48 AM

This sounds amazing, yes please.

#55 - Posted by: Kate on May 2, 2008 10:48 AM

I'm in.

chik_n_little

#56 - Posted by: dm60462 on May 2, 2008 11:01 AM

I am so sitting here laughing at all the hippy names; did Frank say what his is yet?

You probably have 50 already, but FrankJ in an Algore WeLeader shirt is worth maintaining a spam email account for; yes, a photo is a moral imperative.

I'd love to play if it's not too late. NunyaB = RainDancer according to Blogthing's Hippy Chick Name Generator. Hey, male hippies are kinda chick-like too, so it's all good, right?

I added a free screen name to my AOL accounts you can use: WeRainDancer1965@aol.com.

Like #10, I've even got a Rupert from Survivor tie-dye tank top at home, and some knock-off Birkenstock sandals and a red bandana. Agree with #12, this could be the Green Operation Chaos! Are field trips involved? We could rent a big gas guzzling motor home and pile in to counter-protest the smelly set.

#57 - Posted by: NunyaB on May 2, 2008 11:01 AM

Pick me! Pick me! I wanna play!. Silicon Valley Jim, you inspired me to choose Sparkle Moonbeam for this adventure. Harvey, just use the email address I used for this comment.

This should be a blast...

#58 - Posted by: sixpickr on May 2, 2008 11:04 AM

count me in!

Hippie Name: RainbowKittenHugs
Hippie Email: we@southardmail.com

#59 - Posted by: jks on May 2, 2008 11:08 AM

Groovy - man.

Signed,
HempToBeSquare

#60 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on May 2, 2008 11:14 AM

we already get stuff from Hillary and do not care to look like a total dill weed

#61 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 2, 2008 11:19 AM

"As climate change causes the continued shrinkage"

Ha ha, Al said "shrinkage".

#62 - Posted by: on May 2, 2008 11:21 AM

I'm in.

#63 - Posted by: /war on May 2, 2008 11:30 AM

I'd be in for this, always wanted to be a spy growing up. So, if we are found behind enemy lines, out of uniform, we know a liberal doesn't own a gun, So, how do they treat spies?

#64 - Posted by: Jeff or his evil twin on May 2, 2008 11:30 AM

"Dillweed Farmer" is not taken yet, ussjc, in case you change your mind. And it sounds so real.

Actually, the dillweed business is very lucrative.

Harvey, I'm passing - but I'm laughing. Don't know what you really expect to learn from those guys.

#65 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 2, 2008 11:34 AM

Re - #58

; did Frank say what his is yet?

You probably have 50 already, but FrankJ in an Algore WeLeader shirt
---------------

I'm sorry Harvey, I didn't notice the byline until after responding and assumed FrankJ wrote it

#66 - Posted by: Raindance on May 2, 2008 11:34 AM

Serenity Blossom is in!

#67 - Posted by: kitty on May 2, 2008 11:36 AM

Let's doooooooo it!

#68 - Posted by: GaiaForYou on May 2, 2008 11:42 AM

#9 - Posted by: Gaiaphilia on May 1, 2008 10:36 PM

Heh, I forgot to include my email.

#69 - Posted by: AR on May 2, 2008 11:45 AM

Sure! I gotta think on the email, but Sure!
Our (secret) slogan:
Stick it to Fat Albert!

#70 - Posted by: EBear on May 2, 2008 12:06 PM

Dude, I totally love the trees.

#71 - Posted by: ben (the tree hugger) on May 2, 2008 12:28 PM

PeaceWeaver is ready for action

#72 - Posted by: slaphappy1975 on May 2, 2008 12:36 PM

I love it when a plan comes together.

#73 - Posted by: whaleShaver on May 2, 2008 01:11 PM

MoonBlossom...wow, that's very Seacrest-ish. I'm in for Flight of the Greenchords.

#74 - Posted by: Flyover Country on May 2, 2008 01:28 PM

Oh, yeah, sign me up!

#75 - Posted by: jazzluvr on May 2, 2008 01:35 PM

Groovy!

#76 - Posted by: SdSurfPup on May 2, 2008 02:08 PM

I am in!

#77 - Posted by: sunshinecarebear on May 2, 2008 02:12 PM

Sweet! "GarbagePlanMan" in in the house. lol
You can e-mail "chupacabra1313@aol.com"

#78 - Posted by: GarbagePlanMan on May 2, 2008 02:19 PM

//I love it. A Green Operation Chaos!
Count me in oh great lover of the earth!
#12 - Posted by: patrick5 on May 1, 2008 11:04 PM//


That's what I was thinking, Rush the goracle! Ya'll be careful you don't turn into reavers reading that propaganda....

#79 - Posted by: on May 2, 2008 02:26 PM

Harvey, count me in. Does "Bitterroot" need any more hippification? No. I guess not.

THE LYNX IS COMING... Banana Pudding!
#80 - Posted by: Bitterroot on May 2, 2008 02:52 PM

While were at it -- I should share with you guys my alternative fuel vehicle: It's a VW Bus that runs on the blood of hippies. The genius part is that, as it burns off the THC in their bloodstream, it attracts more hippies, man!

#81 - Posted by: Matt on May 2, 2008 02:55 PM

Count me in.

#82 - Posted by: MoonUnitGore on May 2, 2008 03:06 PM

Why the hell not

#83 - Posted by: CleanRiverHappiness on May 2, 2008 03:12 PM

Liberty is a small price for a Green Nanny State

#84 - Posted by: Ben on May 2, 2008 03:49 PM

im all up for it.

call me tree cuddler

#85 - Posted by: treecuddler on May 2, 2008 04:59 PM

I volunteer to continue the search for ManBearPig. I suspect he is being hidden by the combined efforts of the Loch Ness Monster and Sasquatch. We will need lots of beer for this effort. To the beer store! And remember to get lots of ice, as that global warming thing that has been ongoing here in Texas the last few months has made it, like, hotter than it was in December.

#86 - Posted by: Mikee on May 2, 2008 05:02 PM

I'm having a Gorebasm.

#87 - Posted by: Friend O'Fur on May 2, 2008 05:09 PM

Do I get a share of the t-shirt(s)?

#88 - Posted by: EnviroPacifist on May 2, 2008 07:22 PM

What the flying testicle is a Gorebasm? Is that when you are presented with with image of a pompous, pios, snotty, snobby fat bombastic idiot and your stomach goes into uncontrollable contractions resulting in projectile vomiting endangering everyone around you? OK. I get it then.

#89 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 2, 2008 08:42 PM

I set my spam blocker to Kill before I responded to this post. Use #58's free web address for me. Thanks 58.

#90 - Posted by: Toppo Daphoudchane on May 2, 2008 11:25 PM

I'll play.

#91 - Posted by: The Pacifister on May 3, 2008 09:51 AM

This sounds like fun, and I always give in to peer pressure:)


#92 - Posted by: penguinsrppl2 on May 3, 2008 10:43 AM

Pick me, pick me, I want to play too!

#93 - Posted by: Flower Power on May 3, 2008 10:50 AM

I'm in... for the children.

#94 - Posted by: For the Children on May 3, 2008 02:15 PM

Sure thing. If you need any more volunteers. Some of these pseudonyms sound like they could be flakes. ;)

#95 - Posted by: AmberSaves on May 3, 2008 04:05 PM

If you get fifty people under you, you should get a free Wii, though they'd probably manage to ruin even that by also giving you a copy of Endless Ocean (where you get to PET FISH).

#96 - Posted by: Zordran on May 3, 2008 08:14 PM

I'm willing to do my part to destroy the enviroment.

#97 - Posted by: Savethepenguins! on May 3, 2008 10:37 PM

Can I play too??? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze?

#98 - Posted by: Flower Of Power on May 4, 2008 02:56 PM

I'm in, if you're still looking.

Nothing quite like the smell of Diesel in the morning!

#99 - Posted by: Lord Whorfin on May 4, 2008 03:21 PM

I'm in, if you are still looking for willing participants. I'm always looking for fun ways to screw with these lunatics.

#100 - Posted by: ecogreensustainable on May 4, 2008 09:41 PM

I want to help you get that tee shirt--will you model it for us?

#101 - Posted by: Poppy Gardenia on May 4, 2008 09:46 PM

I'm in, sign me up! Instead of being called Robert, my new Delta Tau Chi name shall be Greeny WE Knee. Now I've gotta go back to watching the drag races.

Nothing says sustainable better than two cars burning 10 gallons of nitromethane to go a 1/4 mile.

#102 - Posted by: GreenyWEknee on May 4, 2008 09:54 PM

"This calls for a totally futile and stupid act.
And we're just the guys to do it!"

Hippie name - Bongwater45
Trash email - wonderer454@yahoo.com

I like the idea about trying to label them as SPAM. That could slow them down.

#103 - Posted by: BLC on May 5, 2008 02:46 AM

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudeeeeee
this is toooooootally gonna hark them royal mannnnn
totally in with both sandaled feet bro!

#104 - Posted by: pollution=badganja on May 5, 2008 01:32 PM

I don't know why Al Gore has his jumbo sized panties in a bunch over global warming. I mean, our twin planet Venus can melt lead on her surface due to a run-away greenhouse effect caused by the sulfuric acid clouds.

And while my fifteen-year-old texan gal side thinks sulfuric acid storm clouds are just about the coolest thing to ever grace our solar system, my more mature fifteen-year-old texan gal side thinks Gore should count his blessings.

#105 - Posted by: M on May 5, 2008 01:53 PM

Harvey, you should rename this post to: "IMAO's version of 'Jackass'."

I feel like I'm asked to jump into a tub of: (your grossest thought goes here)

I'm in too, but I want to see that tee-shirt on a supermodel, either wet or in the arctic.

I'll create a yahoo email later today
HealingRainOfGaia@yahoo.com

#106 - Posted by: HealingRainOfGaia on May 6, 2008 09:12 AM

I will be: idontwashmydreads4fishz

#107 - Posted by: idontwashmydreads4plrbears on May 6, 2008 11:13 PM

Is "WEallLIVEinAyellowSUBMARINE" taken?

#108 - Posted by: Fast Eddie on May 7, 2008 11:28 AM

I'm in, I'll go with theELFisright

#109 - Posted by: joby10095 on May 8, 2008 07:30 AM
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