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May 06, 2008
Democrat Primaries Tonight
There are Democrat primaries in Indiana and North Carolina tonight and Hillary Clinton campaign sent out this statement: Our own polling shows that Senator Clinton is down by 100% in both states, and because of Senator Obama's negative campaigning, it will be amazing if Senator Clinton gets even one vote. Were she to get four or five votes, that would be an amazing victory for Senator Clinton to beat expectations by that much. Were she to get more than that -- well that's just foolish speculations of such an amazingly fantastic outcome that I don't even think we should bother commenting on it. We're just hoping that Senator Clinton get perhaps eight votes total between the two races, though we'll be quite happy with six. I don't know; do you think they're strategically trying to lower expectations so they can better claim a huge victory tonight? 20 Responses To "Democrat Primaries Tonight"
This is so that no matter what happens, Clinton stays in. But because of the stoopid democrat nicey-nice share-and-share-alike proportional delegate non-system, the elections today are really just sort of hints to the superdelegates. #1 - Posted by: Socrates on May 6, 2008 12:56 PMIt's just reverse psychology - like when the mom told her son she didn't care if he cleaned his room or not. Except in this case, the mom will eventually eat the son's eyeballs for voting for somebody else. #2 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on May 6, 2008 01:00 PMThose tricky democRATs! If Hillary wins tonight the DKOS crowd will stamp their teeny tiny little feet and clench their teeny tiny little fists and little balls of spittle will fly from their teeny tiny little lips as they pop a bolt thinking about Rush and "Operation Chaos"! #3 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 6, 2008 02:33 PMWhat's wrong with what she said? She was talking about the black vote, after all. #4 - Posted by: Master Shake on May 6, 2008 02:42 PMWell, if she loses both states tonight, her big fat goose (ham?) is cooked. Should I be more graphic? Leg of Hillary lamb w/mint jelly I'm hungry. #5 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 6, 2008 02:56 PMHillary rump roast. Ouch! That's like a stab in my mind's eye! Thanks! #6 - Posted by: echo5a on May 6, 2008 03:19 PMJimmy's hungry, but I just suddenly lost my appetite. Hillary Ham - ugh. #7 - Posted by: sixpickr on May 6, 2008 04:08 PMI vote for shooting Jimmy out of a cannon as punishment for the mental images he has wrought on the world. #8 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on May 6, 2008 04:15 PMJust remember that I was pleading AGAINST Operation Chaos and for an early demise to Clinton's candidacy. So, how about a nice rack of Hillary tonight? Come on, you know you want it! Well basted and juicy with a little mint jelly. Orange glazed carrots and asparagus with cheese wine sauce. Garlic mashed potatoes... I'm goin' to the store... #9 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 6, 2008 04:35 PMTHATS IT! JIMMY !!! STEP AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD BEFORE YOU HURT SOMEBODY! DO IT! DO IT NOW! What they hell is wrong with you man? Inflicting traumatic hillary imagery on your fellow man is a sin in the eyes that is all that is holy. I highly reccomend you take your medication, find some nice healthy heterosexual internet pron and come back when you've regained some self control... But then again .. What the hell do I know? #10 - Posted by: TerribleTroy on May 6, 2008 04:50 PM#8 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on May 6, 2008 04:15 PM Seconded! I'll load the powder if I can stop retching. #11 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on May 6, 2008 05:10 PMYou got to admit, Terrible, that my proposed dinner sounds pretty darn good with "rack of lamb" substituted for "rack of Hillary." Too bad I'm not cooking it tonight. I just want one of them to get the hell off my TV and radio. #12 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 6, 2008 05:12 PMI hear you loud and clear brudda Jimmy. I think its all an evil plot on thier behalf to overide the voices in my head. #13 - Posted by: TerribleTroy on May 6, 2008 06:23 PMAll I can say is that right now, with about 4000 votes counted, and Hillary LEADING the count, Barak has been declared the winner in North Carolina. #14 - Posted by: joby10095 on May 6, 2008 07:56 PMJimmy, that's truly disgusting. To speak so of a United States Senator, former First Lady, and candidate for President of the United States -- a woman who has been through so much to get where she is -- I find that offensive. So to get back in my good graces, save me a breast. #15 - Posted by: Socrates on May 6, 2008 08:35 PMI do not like Hillary Ham "So to get back in my good graces, save me a breast." -Socrates #15 So you're a turkey breast man? Would you like giblet fries with that? It's all good; Hillary is the other white meat. Nice poem, icefishman. I don't know what I'll cook when McCain loses. Maybe baked shoe leather. Or beef tongue? For Obama, it'll be baked beans. Very gaseous. #17 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 6, 2008 10:44 PMI was once polluted by a photo of Hillary in a bathing suit. If there is in fact white meat there it is obscured by a thick layer of cottage cheese. #18 - Posted by: CorporateDRONE on May 6, 2008 11:28 PMAs a post mortem, I note just how close I came to having my wish come true. She barely won Indiana and got handed her big butt (!) in North Carolina. She wouldn't even have won Indiana without Operation Chaos! Damn Rush Limbaugh, anyway. Do any of you suspect that the reason Operation Chaos has been embraced by so many Republicans is that they're PROCRASTINATING ? They just can't get onboard the McCain train. Its engine belches, the cars are smelly, the Republican tracks are crumbling, the employees are fleeing... John McCainocrat just doesn't understand that without rebuilding his own party - right now during the campaign - his goose is cooked, too. But that's a whole 'nother subject. #19 - Posted by: on May 7, 2008 04:06 PM#19 was Jimmy, the forgetful. #20 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 7, 2008 04:08 PMPost a comment
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