About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!


Buy funniest book ever!





IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

About Frank J.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK

Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World
Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits


Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery
Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards



 

May 06, 2008
A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 25 - Looking Beyond
Posted by Frank J. at 05:18 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (5)

PREVIOUS

As usual, Doug had no idea what was going on.

He seemed to be strapped to a table. There was odd machinery all around him humming as it went about its unknown purpose. The hum eventually ceased, the machinery moved away, and table repositioned itself so now that Doug was held upright.

"You're awake." In the room was a bald man in a lab coat, his eyes concealed behind dark goggles. His face was pot marked, and he approached Doug in an awkward gait.

"What's going on?" Doug asked, his voice a bit slurred. He felt like he must have been drugged as he was a bit dizzy and had trouble focusing.

The man approached a computer console. "I'm checking your multi-dimensional signature," he said in a complete monotone. "It looks the same as that for any of the Last Children." He looked at Doug. "I've heard things about you, though, and needed to check."

There was something quite odd to this man, though Doug couldn't put his finger on what it was. He looked human -- certainly not perfect like the Hallowed -- but there was an inhuman quality to him as well. It was if the man's existence just perturbed Doug, much like the cube.

The cube! Doug saw it on a pedestal, some more machinery around it. Though his arms were strapped tight to the table, he still felt like he could reach out and touch the cube.

There was a loud beeping, and the man lurched over to the cube and pressed some buttons on the equipment. "So, Doug, do you have any idea what is inside this object?"

Doug was about to answer, but he got caught up again in how odd the man is. It wasn't his voice. It wasn't his appearance. It was something odd to just his existence, as far as Doug could understand. "You're one of the Transcendents."

"Interesting you would conclude that." He walked back over to Doug, looking at him with his expressionless face and hidden eyes. "It is correct, though. I am called Ronove. I created myself this human body -- not a simple thing -- because I find operating out of the rules of this universe can affect my experiments. We are not natural to this world, and you can see the wastelands as evidence of that. Our mere presence in this manner has caused the universe to break down in places -- but at least it seems to no longer be a growing problem."

"You do experiments?"

"This universe is a point of reference to all the others. I find to understand all there is and how it connects, I need to observe things from this universe." He walked back to the cube. "Take this device. It is a small, insignificant looking thing here, but it appears to be something quite immense anchored to the three spatial and one temporal dimension you are quite used to." He touched it. "Do you why there are rodents drawn into its sides?"

"I think Lulu put them there because the cube scared her." It surprised Doug how quickly he volunteered the information. He felt a bit out of control of himself.

"So that is unimportant -- as I thought. Now, Doug, once again I ask, what do you think is in this?"

"The barrier that kept you out of this world." Doug said, hearing that idea for the first time as he said it. It seemed to make sense, though.

"That is the theory." Ronove hobbled close to Doug. He really looked quite uncomfortable in his human body. "Now who told you of this?"

"Stan. He said he is the Devil." Doug couldn't stop himself from speaking, but he wasn't sure he wanted to stop. "He told me about you all. That you're demons. You're evil... but I think I knew that already."

"Yes, that sound like him -- the Outsider as we know him. It's interesting how he fits himself into your old mythology, because much like the Devil of the Bible, he means ill for us all -- human and otherwise."

"I don't trust him, but I don't think he's lied to me."

Ronove slowly walked over to another computer console. "The Outsider made the cube. He is quite wily, so I doubt it will be easy to determine whether the device is truly powerful or merely a distraction he made for his own purposes. What I think I can conclude is that you are not the Outsider taken human form as Asmod suspected. It seems more to the Outsider's character that he would manipulate a human to his purposes. What is different is how overt he has been in that -- to come out and even identify himself in his own way."

Doug's table began to move placing him horizontal once again. "What are you going to do to me?"

"I will not try to understand what the Outsider's plans were for you." Ronove walked over and stood above Doug. He smelled horrible; Doug suspected he didn't take particularly good care of his body. "As far as I'm concerned," Ronove continued, "there is nothing more I can learn about him from you, so I might as well go ahead and use you to learn other things. You might be interested to know that some of that biblical mythology has basis in fact. The human soul can be a somewhat powerful thing, and prayers can help focus it." Ronove walked out of view and it sounded like he was working some equipment. "It's more the visualization than the plea to the concept of a supreme being, but the effects on probability are measurable from a certain dimensional perspective. Our altering of this world's barrier have changed all that, though." He walked back to Doug and looked down on him with a certain smug satisfaction though his expression was an empty as always. "I can now say with scientific certainty that your prayers are futile."

The table moved so now Doug was enclosed within a tube. It was dark, but he could see a number of glowing probes. He struggled to get out, but he had no energy to fight. "What are you doing?!"

"Though your souls have no power, they still are impediments to us," Ronove said from somewhere outside the tube. "I'm trying to figure out how to destroy those impediments."

"You're going to destroy my soul?" Doug got a small burst of energy for struggling, but it was of no use. "What happens to me if you do that?"

"Hopefully we'll find out very soon." Though Ronove's voice was still completely monotone, Doug could somehow sense a laugh following that statement. "Do not worry, though; this won't hurt." The probes began to glow brighter. "Pain is something your mind can comprehend. This should be much worse than pain."

NEXT

Rating: 0.7/5 (3 votes cast)

Hellbender Take Two
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
5 Responses To "A Story, Bit by Bit
Hellbender: Chapter 25 - Looking Beyond"

I like the thing about the Transcendents' and Other's names. Good fun, that. Then name Stan cracks me up now when I hear it in daily life. (I'd have named one character in particular Bub instead of Elza, but my sense of humor is a little odd.)

The source of the name Ronove has me slightly mystified, though. I'm beginning to suspect it's a joke within the joke. Our Dark Lord, as it were.

#1 - Posted by: Peregrine John on May 6, 2008 06:25 PM

Ronove may come from the latin root word for very very evil - known more commonly as Rarl Cove. Just a guess though. :)

Gteat Chapter Frank. Poor Doug.

#2 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on May 6, 2008 06:35 PM

Awesome, that was very much worth the wait... at least for me, but apparently some idiot(s) rated it low and brought the whole thing down at first.

Also, now that #1 mentioned name sources, to which I'd not been paying any previous attention, Ronove is pretty awesomely clever. That is, if P. John is correct in his hypothesis.

[Actually, Ronove is the least obfuscated of my name sources. I hate coming up with names for people (well, the non-people) and places, so I pick a theme and just move the letters around and stuff. -Ed.]

#3 - Posted by: Hazel on May 6, 2008 06:38 PM

I usually hate fiction, but your story is getting very interesting. Congratulations.


#4 - Posted by: reality intrudes on May 6, 2008 07:38 PM

Just wait until Doug gets out of that tube, he'll ply Ronove with the Samurai sword. He'll ply him good!

#5 - Posted by: HKpistole on May 7, 2008 09:02 AM
Post a comment




Remember me?

(You may use HTML tags for style)

 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933