WASHINGTON (AP) After Hillary Clinton claimed in a USA Today interview that Obama's "support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening", Senator Obama declared that he was proud be the candidate of choice for "lazy whites across the nation".

Typical white Obama voter.

"Let's face the facts," said Obama, "nobody who actually works for a living is going to vote Democrat, anyway. We wrote those guys off decades ago. If it weren't for indolent crackers, we'd NEVER carry an election. Fortunately, white Americans are just plain lazy. These shiftless honkies run the gamut from limosine liberal trust-funders to unemployed basement-dwelling bloggers, but they all have one thing in common - they hate hard work. That's why the ne'er-do-well whitey vote is swinging my way."

25-year-old professional part-time fried vegetable engineer Blake Lydell said he finds it easy to support Obama. "Work is for suckers. Obama talks a lot about hope & change, but he never actually DOES anything about it. Heck, he won't even bother to vote 'yes' or 'no' as a Senator - which is, like, his WHOLE JOB - and he STILL gets paid every two weeks. Once he becomes President, he'll make it so that even white guys like me will be able to slack off like that without getting fired. He's got MY vote... DAMN! Burned the fries again!"

But even though Obama leads in work-ethicless whites, he must still find a way to overcome Clinton's lead among those who never completed college, leaving the Illinois senator scrambling for the "ignorant & alabaster" voting bloc.

"Now, it IS true," admitted Obama, "that Hillary leads with the stupid white demographic, but with my slick patter and suave, articulate charisma, I expect to be able to sucker these idiots into 'going for the O' come November. I mean, anyone dumb enough to fall for a Nigerian scam e-mail has already proven that they'll fall for unrealistic promises made by a black man, so I've pretty well got this election in the bag."

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