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May 15, 2008
In My World: Obama Accepts the NARAL Endorsement
"Babies are the greatest threat facing society today," the NARAL spokeswoman said. "Compare the number of people affected by the actions of supposed terrorists versus those affected by crying, screaming babies. Worst yet, think of those forced to care for these parasites. That's why NARAL stands for the destruction of all babies, and why we are proud to give our nomination to one of the biggest baby opponents, Barack Obama." "I will make no distinction between the babies and those who harbor them." There was applause as Obama took the stage. "Thank you. This has been an important issue for me for a long time. At first, I had attended feminist rallies and was confused at what lesbians needed abortions for, but now I understand this is not about the women and the abortions -- this is about the plight on this nations that are babies. No one has committed a crime so foul that she should be punished with a baby, so I seek a permanent end to this punishment.
"Do not think I came upon the conclusion that we must eliminate babies with little thought. I spent much time talking to my spiritual mentor about the subject." * * * * "Jeremiah, do you think Jesus would be against abortions," Obama asked Jeremiah Wright. "Who?" "You know... the guy from the Bible." "The what? I don't got time for your jibber-jabber, half-cracker. I have a gay marriage to preside over." * * * * "It has become clear to me that babies are a problem we must fight now -- not later," Obama continued. "They are a threat wherever they hide, and I warn everyone that I will make no distinction between the babies and those who harbor them. The time of babies is over. Can we hope to change the world to a place without babies? Yes we can. Yes. We. Can." Hillary Clinton ran onto the stage, "You're giving him the endorsement! But I've been trying to kill babies for longer than he has! I was the first one to figure how to store their souls for later feasting!" "Boo!" the crowd shouted. "Go hang out with your baby-loving hillbillies in West Virginia!" "You'll all pay for this!" Hillary screeched. "You'll all pay! I'll see you all with babies!" She cackled as she ran off. "That woman is scary," Obama said. "Anyway, I find one of the best ways to kill a baby is to get a corkscrew and..." 23 Responses To "In My World: Obama Accepts the NARAL Endorsement"
Frank: Great work as usual but that last sentance just really creeps me out. #1 - Posted by: Picric on May 15, 2008 02:21 PMFrank: Great work as usual but that last sentance just really creeps me out. #2 - Posted by: Picric on May 15, 2008 02:22 PMBigbro says: More than a few of us have been wondering why the Obama clan doesn't show us any children of their own. A black Muslim without children? No, wait! Before I get called a racist....it has to be the white half of Osama Obama that can't produce the squiggly little semen entities.
Oh Great! Now McCain has to come out with own bigger and better baby killing program that will seek to cross the aisle to work on a bi-parti...oh hell, you know what this prick is all about! Great funny, Frank! #5 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 15, 2008 04:00 PMI can think of better things to do with corkscrews: * Open a bottle of wine. * Pull out the cork stuck in McCain's head (followed by liquid decanting). * Stick it up Jimmy Carter's butthead. Your turn, ussjc. #6 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 15, 2008 04:22 PMI serve roasted babies at all my dinner parties. My terrorist friends love them, especially if I tell them they're Joo babies. And you crackers say I can't succeed by meeting with Iran, Venezuela, etc. Racists! #7 - Posted by: Barack Obama on May 15, 2008 04:58 PMI'm John McCain and babies cause Global Warming. I have negotiated a treaty by crossing to the other side of the aisle which will require the immediate sterilization of all conservatives, Christians and right-wing bloggers to fix this global scourge! I John McCain have issued orders from my campaign for members of the above mentioned groups to begin reporting IMMEDIATELY! #8 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 15, 2008 05:26 PMNow, look. I'm taking the day off here and am building 280' of fence. I come in here to cool off (yeah, call Gorebal - I've got heat stroke) and check e-mail and IMAO (etc.) and now you're talkin' babies on sticks?? And corkscrews? As in shishkebabies? Like throw another one on the barbi? As in "Beef babies: they're what's for dinner." ? And McCain wants to sterilize conservatives as part of some bipartison "fairness doctrine?" Too late, I already made a few!! Ha ha, John John John John John John John John John John kiss my KEISTER. And where does Hillary stand on the babies? I love babies, really. mmm especially w/crackers. #9 - Posted by: Jimmy on May 15, 2008 05:48 PMDespite his squishiness on everything else, McCain has never wavered on abortion. #10 - Posted by: Socrates on May 15, 2008 06:22 PMSUPERPOWERS join the club Bigbro says: Keep sitting around equivocating and in a decade's time the question will not be whether to eat babies, but who will be eating whose babies. The Chinese and Indians have a healthy appetite for baby eating. Particularly chewing American babies. And there's plenty of Chinese and Indians to fill the baby cafeteria lines. fred call aka bigbro #11 - Posted by: fred call on May 15, 2008 06:40 PMbigbro says: Advanced baby eating. It's called embryophagy....or, more easily remembered: intrauterine cannibalism. This survival of the fittest is practiced by certain species of sharks, and Russian embryos. Where the stronger embryos eat the weaker, so that only the strongest are born. So, while you Neoliberal Utopians are debating non-extant bullshit topics as abortion and what age a baby can no longer be eaten, sharks and fred call aka bigbro #12 - Posted by: fred call on May 15, 2008 06:58 PMIt is I, Cobra Commander, the candidate for president. (See You Tube). I am against the murdering of babies. Instead I propose that all babies be sent to my special Viper Pre-Pre-K schools where they will be brainwashed...I mean taught valuable life lessons, and trained in the skills, along with being genetically manipulated, in preparation for life in my new army of Baby Vipers. Some say we can not train babies into being world conquering storm troopers, but I say, YES WE SHALL. In the mean time, remember, COBRA-LALALALALALALALALALA #13 - Posted by: CobraCommander on May 15, 2008 07:00 PMWell, babies are the veal of people, aren't they? #14 - Posted by: D-Rock on May 15, 2008 08:11 PMWhat's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork. Also Obomba could score better than 37 points using dead babies. Oh Lord, I'm sorry about this ... and be with the starvin' pygmies in New Guinea, Amen. #15 - Posted by: 4 of 7 on May 15, 2008 10:21 PMbigbro says: I hate to use the word 'occult.' Not that I hate the word. It's every time I use the word, something 'uncontrollable' gets called up. And I hate to use the word 'African' along with the word 'occult,' cause then matters tend to get severly out of hand. But I think y'all better start thinking of them two words being used together when you talk about that Osama Obama guy coming up out of nowhere. Yeah, I know. You like to think that white people are getting trashy and dumb and lazy and easily fooled. That's kind'a true. Being that white Neoliberals tend to have all that 'white guilt' thrashing them about like an invisible whip of thorns. Let's sort of be realistic about this all, though. Yes, white Neoliberals are a dime a dozen fools being bred by the minute. Can't get enough pitchforks into their baby hides fast enough in time to stop the 'white guilt' plague. There's something else going on here. A plague has an occult tag on it. Hate to use the words 'African' and 'occult' together in the same sentence along with Osama Obama's name. fred call aka bigbro #16 - Posted by: fred call on May 15, 2008 10:49 PMRing..."Hello, this is Ted Kennedy" "Hello Ted, this is your close personal friend John McCain!" Click Ring..."Hello, this is Ted Kennedy" "Hello Ted, this is your close personal friend crossing the isle, John McCain" "What?" "I need a Supreme Court Nominee approved and wondered if you have any names I should submit?" "C'mon over, bring your knee pads and your tooth brush!" "Awww...again!" "LOL!" "I have the mouth wash, Johnny!" "LMAO!!! #17 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on May 16, 2008 06:34 AM"I don't got time for your jibber-jabber, half-cracker. I have a gay marriage to preside over." That's teh funny right there, Frank. I wonder how many times Jeremiah has said that to Obamba? #18 - Posted by: sixpickr on May 16, 2008 11:05 AMAnd i hear that some eco-freaks consiter giving birth as a offense to gaia the pagan deity they worship at their freaky get togethers #19 - Posted by: Birdzilla on May 16, 2008 12:28 PMDespite his squishiness on everything else, McCain has never wavered on abortion. Just wait until he finds out that pro-life is a conservative issue. #20 - Posted by: Corsair on May 16, 2008 03:10 PMJust to highlight the threat that babies pose to this country, check out this link http://youtube.com/watch?v=YB3SRkoiNC8 #21 - Posted by: DukeofURL on May 16, 2008 11:55 PMObama, the Occult African/Barrak, the Magic Negro, what's the difference? Terry Pratchett, popular British author, proposed that old gods don't die, they just change their names and find new jobs. Dagon (alias: Moleck, Ba'al, Quetzlcoatl and others) was a god of the philistines who demanded human sacrifice, preferably new-born babies. These tots would be thrown alive, with all due pomp and circumstance no doubt, into a raging furnace. A bronze age equivilent of partial-birth abortion. Samson took out one of Dagons' temples, along with 3000 philistines, in his last glorious act of defiance but the death cult survived. Is there any doubt that there are some today who act as if there was something sacred in the sacrifice of innocent life? Abortion, Euthenasia and Assisted Suicide in those cultures that prefer to kill without getting blood under their manicured fingernails, and Terrorism, Assassination and Genocide for those less squeemish all reflect this worship of death. Their 'final solution' to all lifes' little problems is, "Ooh Ick! Somebody kill it!". The only types of government sanctioned death that the enlightened elites here object to is war and the death penalty. Why? Maybe because state sanctioned execution tends to kill the guilty, not the innocent and thus lacks the spice their unacknowledged god relishes? The honest mayhem between 2 armies in battle also lacks appeal because of the absence of sufficent innocent bystanders. The concept of total war, targeting civilian populations deliberately, became popular only after modern nations began to reject the principle of the sanctity of human life. Not a coincidence. "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against the pricipalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." I had to get serious as pennance for that pitchfork comment. Seriously. #22 - Posted by: 4 of 7 on May 17, 2008 06:50 PMYou know your a liberal when you have a bumper sticker reading KEEP ABORTION LEGAL right beside your SAVE THE REDWOODS,SAVE THE RAINFORESTS bumper stickers #23 - Posted by: Birdzilla on May 18, 2008 04:13 PMPost a comment
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