* Liberals
* Al Gore
* Barack Obama
* Environmentalists
* Liberal Environmentalists
* Did I mention Liberals? Just in case, Liberals.

i'm supposed to shoot my face?

Those electric karts in Wal-Mart that are made for handicapped people, but are only actually used by fat people who insist on blocking the aisle.

Unions

NARAL

PFAW

NOW

Greenpeace

Sierra Club

Allowing anybody whose family name at birth was Kennedy to drive.

Come on.... What is going on with Doug. Stop with the taking forever. Skip food and sleep and write.

*non-alcoholic beer
*polar bears
*polar beers
*polar icecaps
*Michigan
*Monkeys
*bi-polar bears
*illegal tint
*men wearing pants around their ankles
*underfunding for the Catholic Church's anti-vampire and exorcism squad.
*Rhinos
*and finally, long enemy list.

NY Times
NBC/MSNBC
People who stop at the bottom of on-ramps
People who leave grocery carts in parking spaces
E-surance commercials
Tofu
Whoever decided adding chunks of onions to hushpuppies was a good idea.

The Amish are not a threat.

I would add to the list the person who figured out how to make the sound on tv commericals twice as loud as the show. Thank goodness for the mute button.

Sub-Prime Mortgages
Inflation
Any Mexicans left in Mexico
Carbon Dioxide
Conservatives
Rush Limbaugh
Any money that hasn't been taxed 'til we have it all

*Soccer
*Hybrids
*Ethanol
*Communists and Obamunists (Same thing?)
*Irish (This cannot be stated enough)
*Jockeys
*RINOs
*House Sparrows

"* That Singing Guy from the FreeCreditReport.com Commercials"

Thank you! If I hear that dang song one more time I'm going to pistol whip the guy who wrote it!

Come on, man, the guy from Free Credit Report cannot be in the same realm as Travel-ass-o-ty's "Roaming Gnome." Double ditto on da clamshells though.

#12 - Posted by: Two Dogs on May 20, 2008 03:03 PM

The gnome is bad, but he's not as bad as the singing guy is. I've heard that stupid jingle so many times I could recite it right now. Each time I hear it brings me one step closer to throwing a brick through my TV. Worse yet, they show it constantly during sporting events. I want to watch sports, not some fool in a pirate outfit!

* That Singing Guy from the FreeCreditReport.com Commercials

This should be higher.

"Roaming Gnome."Gnome is annoying, but he's selling a real product, not running a scam. Also, I can't recite his lines in my sleep.

Er...I epic failed on the post above. Sorry.

*baby boomers in boner pill ads
*baby boomers in hybrids
*baby boomers in Congress
*baby boomers in tie-dye and Crocs
*baby boomers with kids in kindergarten
*baby boomers on recumbent bikes
*baby boomers on Harleys
*baby boomers who vote
*baby boomers teaching in public schools
*baby boomers taking spin classes

Obesity...in the form of Rosie O'Donnel, Michael Moore, and Jack Murtha.

The FreeCreditReport.com.homo is so annoying - maybe he'll put a "I Love Obama" vid on YouTube and sink the campaign.

Clamshell packing sucks, but I'd start to like it if the manufacturers would make a super-jumbo clamshell to hermetically seal noisy environmentalists in. That would make a cool artshow display.

Now come on we Irish are not that big a threat as long as we are properly dosed with moderate amounts of whiskey. Oh and beer. Also don't let Kennedy fool you he's not really Irish, he's really a commie, pinko, birkenstock wearin, Frenchman passing himself off as an Irishman and ruining our good name.

Planned Parenthood

NEA
http://www.studentsforlife.org/index.php/tiller/nealetter/

Olestra
http://www.zug.com/pranks/olestra/
(that one comes courtesy of my husband - ICK!)

I wanted to do one of those fancy hyper-links (above) but it isn't working!!! Maybe I should ask my 10 year old for help - ugh!

Free Credit Report.Com

I swear, that is the 2008 version of the Macarena. I would like to kill the guy who sings that with a dirty spoon.

*crackers
*expensive arugula
*the U.S. Constitution
*crackers
*pumping my own gas
*logic
*Muslims who take that "apostacy" thing waaaay too seriously
*Hillary's team of assassins
*crackers
*old people
*women, sweetie
*Jooooos
*crackers

* Only liberals are to shoot themselves in the face.
**Of course if enough of them become gay we won't have to worry about them reproducing.
***Also encourage all liberals to abort as well.

Agree with all except the gay marriage bit. Seriously, why is that bad? And don't drag religion into it, I'm getting really sick of that stupid argument.

ACLU

Luipaard: It is not Gay Marriage per se, so much as it is the idea that some court can force it on the people (see MA, CA) , popular opinion be damned.
Which brings up my #1- Liberal Judges

What's wrong with Whole Foods? I like that store, they have very good cheese and fruit, and in Denver, those are pretty hard to come by at normal grocery stores. Also, the Amish are pretty cool. Weird, but I can't really point fingers there.

My nomination for a threat is the high cost of ammo. Seriously, I want my $9.99 .22 bricks back! My income is not going up fast enough to keep pace with the rising cost of ammo!

*A.D.L
*Southern Poverty Law Center
*Alphabet News Networks
*The View
*"Red" Ted Kennedy
*Michael "Mr. Creosote" Moore
*Clintonistas
*That accordion music that illegals blare from their cars
*Western Washington Welfare Whales (300+ lb. women on welfare that constantly pump out children from different unknown fathers)
*The Spanish Inquisition...Hah! Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Where is Hellbender???

*Greenpeace
*Algore
*PETA
*EarthFirst
*Earth Liberation Front
*Animal Liberation Front
*ASPCA
*ACLU
*AARP
*Poofters

What's wrong with gay marriage?

It's between two dudes or two chicks.

Duh!

Don't bring Politics into this that's like uhh ya know politically incorrect!! LOL

Having grown up on the internet, I can deal with gay stuff between two chicks

Two dudes, however, is a totally different story.

* baby boomers on Social Security

#32 Thanks Socrates - thought that one was pretty clear myself!!!

Oh and GOOD ONE to whomever said ACLU!!

Oh PS...

#25 - there are many of us who don't find "religion" or the Bible (which is pretty clear on this topic) "stupid".

NAMBLA

(and I don't mean the National Association of Marlin Brando Look Alikes). We'll need a barge load of mill stones and about a mile of rope to start with for this bunch.

Don't think God hates sin because he's too dainty and prissy to know about icky things like sin.

He hates sin because sin KILLS people. A lifeguard will drag you by your hair to get you out of the surf if he has to. Sometimes getting saved hurts but hair grows back, Death is forever.
God hates sin because he wants us to live. It wouldn't hurt to thank Him once in a while.

You can always tell if what you want to do is good or bad. If it's good, you won't need an excuse to do it. If it's bad, you'll have a list of excuses, justifications and rationalizations for doing it as long as your arm. Then you'll get angry and defensive. Your brain is trying to tell you something. Listen to it.

There! A rational basis for moral philosophy and I didn't quote the Bible even once! (It's mostly C.S. Lewis paraphrased - but I'm doing the best I can.)

I meant it about NAMBLA though.

The Irish
The Amish
Frank are you on medication? One group is normally not sober enough the other is more willing to forgive you than fight you.
Seriously?

It's obvious that someone needs to point out...
There are very few problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

Billy Mays!
Edina, MN (Every Day I Need Attention)
Weener Candy Adds
Infomercials
Rump Rangers
Arena Football
NBA
Clowns
Hippies
Al Franken

The Federal Government.

Survivor
American Idol
The Bachelor
Casting Call
Hell's Kitchen
Amazing Race
Big Brother
Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader
The Biggest Loser

It's so depressing that I can go on, and on, and on. We have become a nation of voyeurs. Those who are to lazy to do anything can watch as others embarrass and debase themselves for on the whole nothing, except being on TV. It has fulfilled the prophecy and become the vast Wasteland.

Reid and Illegals

Thanks for that link, seanmahair.

Billy Mays will be brought to justice for his crimes against humanity.

Eros,

That Mexican accordion music is called Ranchera, and yes – IT IS AWFUL.

I would like to add:

- People who think we should try to be more like Europe
- “Intellectuals” (except you, Socrates)
- Appeasers
- Men who can’t seem to keep the stream inside the bowl. I mean c’mon. This is not brain surgery – point and shoot.

Also, I have to agree; gay marriage between two dudes – totally gross.

By gay marriage and even gayer marriage, you mean those stupid little ceremonies people come up with instead of traditional vowels. Slowly pouring two glasses of different colored water into a bigger glass, things like that. I had to work one wedding where they did like fifteen different things to demonstrate how they were becoming one, and how nothing could ever separate them. Gay, gay, gay.

seanmahair, Good list but you forgot the grandaddy of all stupidity:

MTV's The Real World

Ranchera music is about the only Mexican music I can stand, because it originated from German immigrants in the 1800's and sounds like Oktoberfest music in Spanish. Most other popular Mexican music sounds like goofy American children's songs on crack. Still, one has to admire the cojones of the young Mexican who can drive around these blasting mariachi polkas without dying of sheer embarassment. It would be like an American with his windows down blasting John Denver at full volume.

socialized medicine - although it would mean not treating Ted Kennedy other than to keep him comfortable

I think ALL of MTV should be on the list.

Oh and gay marriage between 2 men AND 2 women is gross. All you GUYS out there saying it's okay between girls.....do you know how you sound??? Come on!!!!!!

Well I was shopping for a new car - which one's me? A cool convertible or an SUV? Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack because I'm driving off the lot in a used sub-compact...

Sulamie is right. From my male-centric point of view anything involving women seems OK. I mean, I'm attracted to women, and find other men repulsive. It's easier for me to understand one woman being attracted to another than it is for me to understand a woman being attracted to ANY man, myself included. My wife of 20+ years assures me that she still thinks I'm sexy, but her eyesight is a lot worse than mine and I have a mirror in the bathroom. I'm not complaining.
On a related note:

Strip Clubs - a bunch of men, sitting in a dark room watching women they can't touch, getting drunk and horny togeather? Waaay too Gay for me!

hahahahahahahahaha 4 of 7 - my husband has always said the EXACT same thing about strip clubs!!!

4 of 7 you Sir are my hero today. Your wife is indeed a lucky woman. Your perspective was intriguing. Being female I never thought about it that way.

That said, most women (not gay) find two women together unappealing, but we find two men together even more unappealing, so..... I don't know how to explain that. Then there's the whole "good looking, well spoken, intelligent, excellent dresser" aspect of some gay men that makes one sigh. "What a waste."

I agree wholeheartedly that Dingos are a major threat to this great nation. That is why we must conquer Australia, subjugate the populace, and purge their great land of said creatures. The Australians will obviously welcome us with open arms and flowers for ridding them of their ruddy-bellied overlords.

Ah shucks, ma'am, t'warn't nothin'!
(music rises as hero rides off into the sunset)

Have you noticed how where the Bible talks about marriage there's always two sets of instructions? Men are instructed to love their wives like Christ loves the church. Women are instructed to be submissive (show honor) to their husbands. Does God know us or what? We are instructed to give what our spouse needs most! My wife needs to know I love her and I need to know that my wife trusts and respects me. A man who feels welcome in his own home can take on the world (be someones hero). A woman who feels loved will make a happy home (if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!) It works every time it's tried. Anyway it worked for my folks and it's worked for us.

I agree with you on what makes a man a hero 4 of 7. I pray my sons someday become heroes in their homes and my daughters find and cherish one someday! God knew what He was talking about - that's for sure.

Here is a story about the often ignored threat that donkeys subject our nation to.

This happened less than 100 miles from my house so it is much more important than the thousands that are killed daily by Monkey attacks in other countries.

It is not suprising that Donkeys are natures' closest relatives to Monkeys; there is only 1 letter difference.

Amen, Sulamie! I have to issue a warning to any young'uns who are considering marriage as regards my comments above. When I said, "it works every time it's tried", the key word is WORK. You have to work at it every day. But it WILL work if you keep your priorities right. Talk about it a LOT before you get married so you'll both be on the same page from day one. Good luck and God bless!