 |
|
|
|
About IMAO Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!  Buy funniest book ever!  IMAO Podcasts IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter
 Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!
About IMAO
If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK. About Frank J. Bloggers: Frank J. Harvey RightWingDuck Cadet Happy spacemonkey Laurence Simon SarahK Popular Categories
Fred Thompson FactsJohn Edwards Fabulous Facts lolterizt IMAO Condensed Know Thy Enemy Editorials Frank the Artist In My World Other Content
Ode to ViolenceBrief Histories IMAO Audio Bits  Read the Essay Own the Shirt Peace Gallery Search IMAO
Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds "Unfunny treasonous ronin!" -Lou Tulio* "You, sir, are a natural born killer." -E. Harrington "You'll never get my job! Never!!!" -Jonah Goldberg "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO." -No One of Consequence "A blogger with a sense of humor." -Some Woman on MSNBC Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQThe Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler Blackfive Captain's Quarters Classical Values Conservative Grapevine The Corner The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!) Dave in Texas Eject! Eject! Eject! Electric Venom Hot Air Puppy Blender La Shawn Barber's Corner Michelle Malkin Pereiraville Protein Wisdom Rachel Lucas Right Wing News Scrappleface Serenity's Journal Townhall Blog IMAO Blogroll Bad Example Cadet Happy The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles mountaineer musings Right Wing Duck  This Blog Is Full of Crap Fred Thompson Links Fred File Blogs for Fred Fred Thompson Facts Awards
|
June 05, 2008
Ask Dr. Duck: He's BAAAAAACK!
I've been gone and I'm sure I've been missed terribly. So I'm here to answer all the questions that will help enrich your life and make you a better person. Or at least, make you three minutes older. Question: Who are you? Answer: Hey, it's not time for the questions yet! You have to post them in comments and I'll answer in a separate post. Question: Where have you been? Answer: Dodging sniper! Wait for me to finish my intro to answer questions, please! Question: Who are you again? Answer: Sigh. Disclaimers: Dr. Duck is a real doctor whose experience is irrevelant because it would be a "distraction" from the real issues. Dr. Duck never attended school and most people didn't want him to be a doctor, but he was selected by a bunch of superdoctors who were able to override the will of the people. The people obviously being too poor, stupid or Democratic to make their own choices. Dr. Duck cares and if my answers somehow ruin your lives, then I will have to place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the Bush administration. So what's on your mind? Love? Relationships? Politics? The Doctor is back! 51 Responses To "Ask Dr. Duck: He's BAAAAAACK!"
Dear Dr. Duck, What the hell? #1 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on June 5, 2008 03:42 PMSo we ask questions? What do you think of Khalid Sheik Mohamed complaining today that the court room sketch artist drew his nose wrong, and that he wanted his picture to look more like the one that was released after his capture? #2 - Posted by: Marvin on June 5, 2008 03:42 PMDr. Duck? Hmm...doesn't sound familiar. Are you sure you aren't just another one of Frank/Harvey's alter egos? #3 - Posted by: Andrew on June 5, 2008 03:47 PM#1 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on June 5, 2008 03:42 PM Yeah, that. #4 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on June 5, 2008 03:47 PMDear Dr. Duck, Will my question help your children? #5 - Posted by: Master Shake on June 5, 2008 03:50 PMI have a three part question: Do you think Obama will chose Hillary as his Vice president and if so, how far into his presidency before she kills him, and lastly, are you really going to answer the questions this time or leave us hanging again?????? #6 - Posted by: on June 5, 2008 03:59 PMI am sorry but it's too hot for roast duck right now!!! Come back at Christmas time!!! #7 - Posted by: maytag on June 5, 2008 04:09 PMDear Dr. Duck: If I plucked off all of your feathers would I be able to make a full size down comforter or should I aim for a twin size? Please answer soon, since I have not been sleeping very well. #8 - Posted by: Denny on June 5, 2008 04:09 PMDear Dr. Duck, So, who are you, and why did you keep evading that question in the post? Does that mean you're some sort of Democrat? #9 - Posted by: Hazel on June 5, 2008 04:20 PMDidn't you get shot in the face by Dick Cheney or something? Now that you're back, is there any way to get Spacemonkey and Cadet Happy to do something to make us laugh for free? #10 - Posted by: cptnmoroni on June 5, 2008 04:37 PMYou claim that you are "a real doctor" - but are you a real duck? #11 - Posted by: DamnCat on June 5, 2008 04:46 PMDr. Duck Sweet or Sour or Sweet and Sour sauce? #12 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on June 5, 2008 04:47 PMSince you're both a Doctor and a Duck, can you confirm that schistosomiasis is associated with your kind? #13 - Posted by: Jimmy on June 5, 2008 04:50 PMDr. Duck: Several years ago I lost a favorite watch. What happened to it? #14 - Posted by: keith on June 5, 2008 05:28 PMDr. Duck, My older brother keeps throwing things at me and hitting me in the forhead with stuff. When I asked why, he told me to ask you what I should do. Well, what shuld I do .... ouch .... he did it again ..... #15 - Posted by: Wild Bill Kelsoe on June 5, 2008 05:51 PMTwo Questions: 2) Does your humor derive from the fact that you're a duck or a doctor? Or is it some combination of the two? #16 - Posted by: brandEn on June 5, 2008 05:58 PMDr. Duck is BARACK? #17 - Posted by: Bob in Feenicks on June 5, 2008 05:59 PMIf I did something, would you react in the usual way? #18 - Posted by: Elliott on June 5, 2008 06:03 PMI know where Ducky's been: campaigning for Hillary! Ron Paul? Dr. Duck, I'm planning on majoring in History. What can I do with a History degree (BS and probably also a grad. degree or two) that doesn't require teaching at a university or elsewhere? #21 - Posted by: Lezah Anagram on June 5, 2008 06:11 PMWhy is Belgium so far away? How long is forever? Are you a duck doctor or a people doctor? If you were a duck psychiatrist, would you be Skinnerian or Freudian? It would be pretty wierd if you were a Freudian duck psychiatrist, since all the moms look alike and the usual "childhood trauma" for a duck baby is getting eaten, which obviates the need for psychoanalysis. Have you ever gotten it on with the AFLAK duck? #22 - Posted by: Fiftycal on June 5, 2008 06:36 PMDear Dr. Duck, Question: Is there actually a "BS in History" that #21 refers to? Oh, an answer already! Dr. Duck: No BS. BA. (Bad Ass). #23 - Posted by: Jimmy on June 5, 2008 07:13 PMAs your number one fan, welcome back Dr. Ducky. If it weren't for your long running Daily Jalapeno running gag, I would be a ranting lunatic by now. So Harvey takes a week off and you show up, what was that Intervention like? And what must it be like to know when you're on the sauce your latest partner will want more an hour later? #24 - Posted by: Dohtimes on June 5, 2008 07:14 PMDear Dr Ducky: There are many supposedly intelligent people who are willingly supporting Barack O'bama for President. I want to know whether this is a form of mental illness or is it because he is Irish? #25 - Posted by: Brian The Adequate on June 5, 2008 09:48 PMWelcome back, Right Wing Duck! It will be refreshing to read your stuff again. Dear Dr. Duck, Who taught you to type the English language? #27 - Posted by: TerribleTroy on June 5, 2008 10:55 PM#23 - Posted by: Jimmy on June 5, 2008 07:13 PM Yes. It's very rare, and I'm fairly sure there's not another person in America (or at the very least my college) working towards one, but it does exist. See: BA curriculum, BS curriculum. I may be majoring in History, but I'm not an idiot. #28 - Posted by: Lezah Anagram on June 6, 2008 12:20 AMIf I do not vote for Barack Obama, am I a racist? #29 - Posted by: Damian G. on June 6, 2008 01:18 AMDear Dr. Duck: why does it hurt when I pee? #30 - Posted by: on June 6, 2008 04:18 AMI am out of beer, and am weary of my current margarita mix, what do you recommend for a buzz that will last a while, yet not impair any mating rituals that may occur? #31 - Posted by: JarvisW on June 6, 2008 05:15 AMDr. Duck, Are all ducks homosexuals or are you an exception? #32 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on June 6, 2008 07:45 AMDucky - Is hunting over a water station in Arizona considered baiting? #33 - Posted by: Moneyman on June 6, 2008 08:35 AMDUCKY!!!!!!!! welcome back, my feathery friend! my question is: Uhm.. oh hell, I'm just happy you're back. #34 - Posted by: HKpistole on June 6, 2008 09:35 AMDr. Duck. Have you ever killed the wrong person? #35 - Posted by: spacemonkey on June 6, 2008 10:01 AMDr Duck: Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? How can a Thermos keep stuff hot AND cold? How does it know? #36 - Posted by: on June 6, 2008 10:28 AMDr. Duck: When is my daddy coming home from the store? It's been 8 months. #37 - Posted by: Billy on June 6, 2008 11:08 AMWelcome back Ducky. You were missed. Now my question, And another question. Dear Dr. Duck, I've heard through the rumor mill that the US Government secretly devised the virus that causes "restless leg syndrome", and unleashed it into urban areas, in order to ensure that dark-skinned people's legs are never well-rested. With that in mind - are my girlfriends cheating on me? #40 - Posted by: johngaltsbrotherjimmy on June 6, 2008 12:00 PMare my girlfriends cheating on me? Who is johngaltsbrotherjimmy? #42 - Posted by: Jimmy on June 6, 2008 12:47 PMAre you a doctor just like ron paul?
Dr Duck, I hear your sister is "big boned"...when she finishes making love she rolls over and smokes a ham...is this true? #44 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on June 6, 2008 02:55 PMwill you be able to answer all these questions? #45 - Posted by: on June 6, 2008 03:34 PMDear Dr. Duck, I recently switched to diet soda. Since then, I've felt irrational urges to beat various idiots senseless. Is that normal? #46 - Posted by: smitty385 on June 6, 2008 03:38 PMWelcome back your royal downeyness. I am very glad you have returned. My Question: What do you get when you cross Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton. A candidate that sticks to the roof of your mouth or an elephant that never forgets. Yeah it's not good but then I'm not as awesome as you. #47 - Posted by: seanmahair on June 8, 2008 03:01 PMWelcome back Dr. Duck! #48 - Posted by: Chris on June 9, 2008 02:19 AMWelcome back Ducky! I like saying that. I think I will say it again. Welcome back Ducky! (It makes me feel like I am on a episode of NCIS! Not really. I really am glad you're back! #49 - Posted by: Bikermommy on June 9, 2008 10:16 AMDear Doktor Duck, I found a really nice Men's watch in my refrigerator, behind the chocolate milk last week. Do you know who it belongs to? #50 - Posted by: Wollf on June 9, 2008 02:26 PMDr. Duck, I have it on good authority that you are in fact a hobbit, not a duck. Confirm or deny? #51 - Posted by: on June 10, 2008 04:34 AMPost a comment
|
Buy IMAO T-Shirts 
 
 
IMAO T-Shirts
The IMAO T-Shirt Babe (winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!! Yay! Books!
Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24American Idol Aqua-Adventures Barackalypse Now Best of IMAO 2002 Best of IMAO 2006 Bite-Sized Wisdom Editorials Election 2008 Filthy Lies Frank Answers Frank Discussions Frank on Guns Frank Reads the Bible Frank the Artist Fred Thompson Facts Friday Cat-Blogging Fun Trivia Hellbender Hellbender Take Two Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths Humor I Hate Frank If I Were President ignis fatuous IMAO Condensed IMAO Exclusives IMAO for the Non-Deaf IMAO Reviews IMAO Think Tank In My World In My World - Fan Fiction John Edwards Fabulous Facts Know Thy Enemy lolterizt Michael Moore Mitt Romney Ads News Round-Up Newsish Fakery No, McCain't Our Military Permalink Contest Precision Guided Humor Assignments Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul Ronin Profiles Ronin Thought of the Day SarahK's TV stuff Scary Evil Monkey Simpsons Trivia Songs & Poems State of the Frank Report Superego Totally True Tidbits WEsistance Is Facile Why Me Laugh? Yvonne's Ashes By Month
December 2008September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 April 2006 March 2006 February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 February 2004 January 2004 December 2003 November 2003 October 2003 September 2003 August 2003 July 2003 June 2003 May 2003 April 2003 March 2003 February 2003 January 2003 December 2002 November 2002 October 2002 September 2002 August 2002 July 2002 March 1933
|
Stumble It!
