Wolves and Bears and Buffalos, Oh My!
If you're hiking or camping in a national park and something big and hostile comes lumbering towards you, any gun small enough to carry concealed won't be big enough to save you!
Either wear a long black leather coat stuffed with machine guns (like Neo in the Matrix) at all times, or shoot the person next to you and then run like hell!
(Stay close to strangers to avoid having to shoot a friend or family member!)

I think Frank need to do some deep breathing or go back on the meds....Calm down, man! (I am thankful to hear that you don't do illegal things!)

I'm guessing if my family were to be attacked by some freak it would probably be somewhere secluded, somewhere where it might take a while for police to find out about the attack, somewhere where it might take cops a while to get to once they did find out about it...like, say, within a national park. I'd like to carry my gun, or at least know some other law-abiding citizens might have theirs, thanks.

Last I checked, American national parks are located in America. Isn't there some document called the Constitution that allows you to own guns in America?

As President, I will not allow such mindlessly violent attacks on our precious, precious wildlife. Especially those beautiful bot flies in pristine ANWR.

Frank, I withdraw that offer of Ammo.

While you are shooting things in our national parks be sure to look out for liberals. Don't waste all of your ammo on on wildlife and the grand canyon when you know it is every American's duty to protect this great country from dangerous maniacs. Besides, you don't want to let precious resources go to waste when a million boxes of chalk would almost be enough to outline Michael Moore if something should happen.

Guns aren't allowed in National Parks? No wonder those alligators last week kept crying about Everglades National Park being a gun free zone before I shot 'em. I claim self defense.

"That's some big teeth you got there, Chomp Boy. Say hello to my little friend."

My mom just visited Yosemite, which has its share of grizzlies. I would have felt a hell of a lot more comfortable if she had been able to carry along her lever action .44 magnum.

On the other hand, you could just make sure you're visiting the park with an old person or someone slow, and wear running shoes. As the saying goes, you don't have to outrun the bear.

Oddly enough, my neighbor the liberal gave me the same speech last week as a reason to support the banning of all guns.
He shut up and went back inside when I used my 12 gauge to nail a copperhead in the yard.

#1 - Posted by: 4 of 7 on July 25, 2008 11:13 AM

Ummm.. I'm fairly certain a 9mm would kill a wolf, and it would at least scare a bear off.

Does the campus of UC Berkley count? Someone should cull the herd of them damn tree hippies

"Does the campus of UC Berkley count? Someone should cull the herd of them damn tree hippies"

Aren't hippies an endangered species? I say we endanger them some more.

Anyway, I'd love to see a cropduster fly low over them trees and spray the hippies with Lisol or Fabreeze. Better yet, some bleach as hippie stench is some seriously stinky funk.

"cull the heard" Good one. On a serious note, It seems to me that the ongoing thing in the gun debate is that some people can't tell the difference between a law abiding person with a gun and a criminal. They just lump us all together. In one of Zos' talks he mentioned that people with dirt in their own lives tend to do this and don't trust anybody. In fact that could be a sort of litmus test for candidates.

Sorry, I meant herd, I need to hire a secretary.

As if I would allow you racist crackers to have guns in the first place! No one but My Obamastaffel will be allowed to have weapons, and we will search everything going in and out of the camps you will be in as enemies of the state anyway.

I hope you don't plan on going to Mt Rushmore. You do know that threatening a president is not protected by the first amendment, don't you?

excellent

So, there you are! You been gone a long time, ussjc.

#11 - AR, A friend of mine got treed by a bear on Kodiak Island, Alaska.
He emptied a .357 magnum revolver into its face as it tried to claw the tree down.
It finally got bored and walked away.
He had to sneek back into town and inform the forest rangers that there was a wounded, p*ssed-off 10 ft tall bear in the woods.
He resolved to return with a .444 Marlin (not exactly a concealed weapon, but just maybe adequate for his purpose).
Fortunately for him, Kodiak Island isn't a National Park!
A 9mm for wolves? Ok, but make sure you bring enough for everyone! (Wolves have this whole 'pack' thing going, you know?)