The only reason why liberals oppose drilling is because it will create jobs. If there's one thing that scares the hell out of a liberal, it's the prospect of a job.

Oh, Frank. You made me jiggle my coffee. 5 oily, pristine prissy stars and an industrial drill. LOL.

I was just thinking this yesterday, too. Why do I care if they find water, oil, or gold on another planet? It's just going to create a new criminal class and Congress still won't reduce our taxes (but I repeat myself).

Shades of, "Ice Pirates" is all that crosses my mind.

I think we need to exile all liberals to Mars. Since Mars is an enemy planet, you know all those liberals will be happy as hell to be supporting our enemies. Then we nuke Mars...

Nuke Mars!

Geez, you sure are behind the curve, we're already working on stealing Titan's oil.

We've already syphoned off most of Mars' oil.
Wait, you actually think BP gets its oil from the North Sea?
Dude.
Oh, and don't tell anyone. It's an ecretsay.

My friends, I'm becoming more and more optimistic!

ANWR + The OCS + Oil shale + Mars + all the natural gas in Al Gore's head = total energy independence for centuries!

#5 - Posted by: Karl R. on July 31, 2008 01:28 PM

Excellent. We don't even need Gore's head!

Frank, upon reviewing your Mexi-Cannon for technical merit, I think it possible to enhance Mars' oil content by first shooting liberals there. Then wait a few months to send the Mexi-Cannon up and shoot the enhanced oil back to Earth. If you do it right, the sun will crack the crude on the way back and it will arrive as gasoline and diesel. Fuel from heaven.

But what about the polar bears? It has been determined that the surface of Mars has been warming at about the same rate as the Earth over the last 100 years or so. Since the warming of Earth is because of man's interference with the natural order of the CO2 cycle, it proves that humans are also responsible for the warming of Mars due to driving SUVs and not paying Al Gore for carbon credits.

actually, Frank, that's a great idea. You should forward this to the McCain HQ. Swearing and all -- McCain digs it.

You know what used to live on Mars? Racist crackers! Mars is the (un)living testament to what transpires when you insignificant mortals oppose My ascendence.

Vote for your Dark Lord and Unholy Saviour, lest this fate befall all of mankind! This, and only this, will help My children!!!

We don't need to go to mars to drill for oil. We don't even need to drill for oil at all. The holes have already been made in Saudi Arabia and Iran. We should just take that oil.

#11 is either Master Shake or ussjimmycarter.

Possibly AlanABQ.

That's nice. Call me when they find beer.

Bah, those racist crackers are not fit to speak My name nor view my countenance, let alone impersonate My Infernal Majesty!

Me damn it! My treacherous honkey blood has betrayed Me and caused Me not to glorify Myself by referencing Myself with a non-capitalized "Me" in My previous post! Curse you, racist crackers!

Reveal Thyself, oh Himself, most Exalted One of Messianic proportions!! Give us this day our daily identity politics and lead us not into crackerhood, as we lambast those who lambast against us bamboozled hoodwinkers.

For thine appears to be the kingdom of the Muslim Brotherhood.

I just can't wait to see that city on the moon (Mars)
with air-conditioned gardens, that'll play your favorite tune.
I'll see my feet upon those streets if it's the last thing that I do;
Even sweep the roads to be there
but I've got no time for silly chitter-chatter
'cause I'm on my way!
and while my blood's still warm and my mind doesn't matter
I'm hoping to stay
'cause I've got a thing about seeing my grandson grow old (a-old-old, a-yeah, yeah, a-yeah, yeah, a-um, um) etc.

Speaking as a Martian (Mars Society member, Mars Desert Research Station crew member, and two-time Mars vehicle design competition award winner) I have one thing to say.

Please don't send liberals to Mars.

Ironically, a lot of designs for Mars missions use hydrogen from Earth, a LOT of electricity and the CO2 in the atmosphere to make fuel and oxygen to get back home. It's sort of like burning fossil fuel in reverse by putting the power into the chemistry over 500 days then burning it back to the original state to reach escape velocity in about 20 minutes.

Put Kim Stanley Robinson in charge of the Mars mission and send the liberals to Venus instead. That'll teach them what global warming looks like (of course, the 900° heat, carbon dioxide and crushing atmospheric pressure may cause minor side effects such as rigor mortis, dermifluxion, and carbonization).