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September 02, 2008
Kos Kids and the Palin Rumors
Posted by Frank J. at 12:35 PM | View blog reactions | Comments (40)

So, if you haven't been following the crazies at Kos, here's basically what they've been saying about Palin:

Palin faked that she was pregnant with Trig to cover up that her daughter Bristrol was actually pregnant. When the baby was born and they found out he was black, so she bleached his skin to further conceal the truth. When nosy reporters got close to her secret, she killed a hobo, put the corpse in a gorilla suit, and froze it to claim she had bigfoot and cause a big media distraction. The hobo had hobo friends, though, and they started asking questions, so Palin had to murder them too and bury them in the middle of nowhere. But then there was a proposal to build a bridge to nowhere so she had to oppose that to keep people away from her secret. Then she still wasn't able to conceal the truth, so she forced Bristol to get pregnant again and changed the medical records so that it looked like Bristol was pregnant when Trig was born so Trig couldn't be hers. Finally, she joined a radical Alaskan separatist group to prepare to secede Alaska from America to join with Russia and wipe out the U.S. to fully conceal the truth.

Anyway, a good deal of the Kos Kwazies believe all this, while other argue that it's good to put out these rumors even if they aren't true, not realizing there isn't anyone outside of the Daily Kos dumb to believe any of this. So, what should we do?

I say we make a fund raiser to buy them helmets.

The people at the Daily Kos are obviously so dumb they are in constant risk of head injury. You may say, "So what. I want those left-wing nuts to have head injuries." That's just putting politics above basic humanity, though. We shouldn't want anyone to hurt their heads. So it's incumbent upon us to buy the Kos Kids helmets. That way they can type away safely, diving under a table when they think they hear Rove with less risk of head trauma. Also, we'll be able to spot them at political rallies in their nice new helmets and can give them cookies and milk to help them calm down.

That's what compassionate conservatism is all about.

Rating: 4.6/5 (83 votes cast)

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40 Responses To "Kos Kids and the Palin Rumors"

That's just putting politics above basic humanity, though.

Maybe if they were human.

#1 - Posted by: MarkoMancuso on September 2, 2008 01:09 PM

Helmets hurt my knuckles, IYKWIM

#2 - Posted by: innominatus on September 2, 2008 01:20 PM

lol, it is very sad some of the attacks they are coming up with

hopefully it will just backfire on them and make more people vote McCain-Palin :)

#3 - Posted by: Olive on September 2, 2008 01:22 PM

With GOD as my judge.. I will show them the same amount of compassion they show... or the amount of compassion a member of the Mahdi Army would show them if they were captured in Fallujah...

I think thats fair and reasonable.....they can even chose....

#4 - Posted by: TerribleTroy on September 2, 2008 01:30 PM

Why don't we just all chip-in and take them to Denny's for breakfast instead. We get an "Ultimate Omelette®" with those kicka$$ hash browns and they get a paper place mat and crayons.

#5 - Posted by: FormerHostage on September 2, 2008 01:50 PM

Yeah, but FormerHostage, they eat the crayons after sticking 'em up their noses. That would be messy. Hows about we leave 'em in the 130 degree car with their helmets on? (What? Jimmy's not nice?)

#6 - Posted by: Jimmy on September 2, 2008 02:25 PM

Can we put a Dailykos sticker on it, just so they're easier to identify?

I'll donate.

#7 - Posted by: r2streu on September 2, 2008 02:28 PM

What should we do? The answer is in your first paragraph: Never piss off a conservative babe-Veep with a gun.

I say the sooner this country is rid of the vocal minority useless idiots in the Left, the better.

#8 - Posted by: NunyaB on September 2, 2008 02:48 PM

HA HA HA

http://www.youtube.com/user/SaraBenincasa

#9 - Posted by: MakeFunofStupidPalin on September 2, 2008 03:09 PM

I'm pretty sure someone else beat us to that idea. The helmets are blue and say "UN" on the side.

#10 - Posted by: Andrew on September 2, 2008 03:25 PM

#6 Jimmy-

I get the impression that it's not their noses where they're stuffing the crayons... this would explain the constant bitchiness.

#11 - Posted by: AlanABQ on September 2, 2008 03:26 PM

I think your helmets would interfere with my hippi punching. Also, don't you think they would figure out this VRWC attempt to direct their thoughts? Shame on you for your lack of subtlety. Ima report you at the next meeting.

#12 - Posted by: Carolynp on September 2, 2008 03:46 PM

The whole Palin family uses hobo femurs to bash in the skulls of baby seals during weekend outings on their coal fired snowmobiles. They then eat the raw baby seal livers before heading over to the nearest Greenpeace trawler stranded in the ice to watch as Alaska Air National Guard F-15s fire a few sidewinders into the diesel bunkers. Then they toast marshmallows while the greenies wail plaintivley.

#13 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on September 2, 2008 04:02 PM

PaleoMedic - Then they leave the greenies to freeze to death after the diesel is gone. The greenies start across the ice only to be attacked by protected polar bears. Falling into the water, the killer whales turn on them and chase them back to shore where they are mistakenly shot by locals as moose.

#14 - Posted by: Jimmy on September 2, 2008 04:23 PM

The helmets are a good start. But we can do more!! Lets not forget that those poor KosKids also have hands that cause them pain. They have fingers that go too far up their noses, Palms that have become to harry from listening to Obama's speaches, and are sore from typing an indepth peice of how ANWAR was not enough for Palin, and it was her all along that started the war in Iraq so we would have cheep pantyhose.

Let's get these guys some boxing gloves too. It worked for Strongbad.

#15 - Posted by: BigRichardSmall on September 2, 2008 05:14 PM

Absolutely hilarious! But how do you explain that so many in the MSM treat the Kos Kwazies like their Daily Assignment Editors?!

#16 - Posted by: Robert W. on September 2, 2008 05:22 PM

Jimmy. Then, the real tragedy. "Mom, why does this moose stew taste like bong water and the Geico caveman?"

#17 - Posted by: PaleoMedic on September 2, 2008 05:47 PM

TOOOO LATE !!

The slightly overbaked oatmeal raisin cookie crust that is their skulls is weak and easily fractured.

This is very similar to their ideas.

#18 - Posted by: Freemon Sandlewould on September 2, 2008 05:49 PM

#16 - Posted by: Robert W.

The MSM can't tell the difference. To show my point, MSNBC brings on Markos Moulitsas for in-depth commentary. He's slightly more crazy than Keith Obermann.

Today's journalism is about as bad as the yellow journalism in the late 1890's. The First Amendment guarantees a "Free Press" not a factual one.

#19 - Posted by: BigRichardSmall on September 2, 2008 06:18 PM

Breaking news on the Interwebs.... Palin's church hates Jews.

#20 - Posted by: BreakingNews on September 2, 2008 06:54 PM

Palin is scandilicious! - way to go mccain!

#21 - Posted by: USWeeklyRules!! on September 2, 2008 06:57 PM

I'm sure that everyone is waiting for my opinion about Palin since I'm from Alaska. well, I'll give you my opinion when Frank writes another chapter of Hellbender!! You hear that Frank? I'm not talking tell you FREE DOUG!!!

#22 - Posted by: AlaskaNick on September 2, 2008 07:04 PM

For God sakes, Frank, write another Hellbender. There aren't many Alaskans here and we need to hear about Palin from AlaskaNick. Who's DOUG?

#23 - Posted by: Jimmy on September 2, 2008 07:11 PM

Helmet or not, if I ever meet a KOS Kid, I'm gonna start punchin...in their dumb monkey face...hard and nasty the way they like it!

#24 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on September 2, 2008 07:12 PM

Helmet or not, if I ever meet a KOS Kid, I'm gonna start punchin...in their dumb monkey face...hard and nasty the way they like it!

You would be down on the ground so fast you wouldn't know what hit you. Fact: Right wingers are wimpy. They just think they are tough because they like to hunt and kill defenseless animals like penguins. Most are loser hunters like Dick Cheney who has to have all the birds let out of the pen right when he gets there so they are easy to kill. What a loser that guy he is. He's almost as bad as Fred Thompson who will soon be giving a boring turd of a speech that will excite no one but the creationist evangeez.

#25 - Posted by: SavetheCaribou! on September 2, 2008 07:37 PM

You're hilarious. I'm another PJM blogger, and one of my commenters left me your link. I've gotta start coming around here more often.

#26 - Posted by: Amy Alkon on September 2, 2008 08:08 PM

SavetheCaribou!, if you went up against ussjimmycarter, you be more interested in saving you ass. Or your head! Or both!

#27 - Posted by: Jimmy on September 2, 2008 08:13 PM

The 'baby seals head bashing with hobo femurs' remark is outstanding. I need a new keyboard now, but that's a small price to pay for the hiccup laughs...

#28 - Posted by: Sterling Braswell on September 2, 2008 08:22 PM

Go Minnesota! Over 280 greenie, anarchist slime bags arrested, many on felony charges. The big-horned Mosquito State strikes again!

#29 - Posted by: Jimmy on September 2, 2008 08:36 PM

Most are loser hunters like Dick Cheney who has to have all the birds let out of the pen right when he gets there so they are easy to kill.

A while ago someone made a similar argument to me - fairly obstinate about it too.

He recanted after I shot him the face.

#30 - Posted by: Dick Cheney on September 2, 2008 08:39 PM

I am not a compassionate conservative. I am the meanest mother on the block. If you don't believe me ask any of my kids. Even though most of them are adults I am still the meanest mom they know.

I'm rather proud of that. I have no compassion for the Kwazy Kossacks. I think they should all grow boils in places where they won't be able to sit down for......quite a long time. As for Osamabama and his running mate Unbidden they should be exposed for the liars, cheats, incompetent fools and selfish nimrods they are.

#31 - Posted by: seanmahair on September 2, 2008 09:08 PM
Fact: Right wingers are wimpy.

Ha! I laughed so hard at that comment that my roommates came in and asked me what was wrong with me. I find it especially ironic this election cycle as the democrats all come off as pantywaists who couldn't fight their way out of a wet paper bag. But don't worry, I'll fix it for you, so it makes sense.

Fact: Liberals are a bunch of cowardly pussies who talk tough when they know there will be no repercussions, but they haven't got the stones to back it up with any sort of personal action.

And that's why everyone hates them.

#32 - Posted by: Ernie Loco on September 3, 2008 12:34 AM

Frank,
You're a better man than I am.
I tried reading the Kos once.
I've had 3 root canals in my life.
I've also been punched, cut, burned, road-rashed, bitten and once got my left hand caught in a closing hatch, but nothing was as painful as reading that foul clump of infected rectal hair they call a blog!
But you visit it often, so we don't have to.
I salute you! SA-LUTE!

About the Anarchists arrested in St. Paul - I remember the big fuss made in Denver about their elaborate precautions against riots, But saw no stories about what precautions, if any, the St. Paul police had made.
I hope they have adequate accomodations for the protestors.
I forget, do they have stock-yards in the twin cities?
What about the smell?
The cattle will just have to get used to it!

#33 - Posted by: 4 of 7 on September 3, 2008 01:06 AM

"When groups of people envision incompatible forms of government there can be no resolution but violence. The natural facts are that societies are built on the deaths of men."
Oliver Wendall Holmes - SCOTUS

That is how we will end up dealing with the Leftards. So when do we start?

#34 - Posted by: BLC on September 3, 2008 05:45 AM

You would be down on the ground so fast you wouldn't know what hit you. Fact: Right wingers are wimpy. They just think they are tough because they like to hunt and kill defenseless animals like penguins. Most are loser hunters like Dick Cheney who has to have all the birds let out of the pen right when he gets there so they are easy to kill. What a loser that guy he is. He's almost as bad as Fred Thompson who will soon be giving a boring turd of a speech that will excite no one but the creationist evangeez.
#25 - Posted by: SavetheCaribou! on September 2, 2008 07:37 PM

I see the KOS trolls are at it again! Your mommy must have finished with her "one hour date" having returned from the liquor store where she cashed her welfare check so that she could replace the tires on your house! It's nice to get back on the computer after mommy has some quality time with another "boyfriend" who happens to leave $10.00 on the night-stand...

#35 - Posted by: on September 3, 2008 07:22 AM

sorry that was mine...

#36 - Posted by: ussjimmycarter on September 3, 2008 07:23 AM

Nice one usj.

#37 - Posted by: seanmahair on September 3, 2008 07:49 AM

AW! Those liberals just can't stand a strong woman.
How soon before they photoshop a swastika on her arm and start the rumor that she's really a secret Mancurian candidate for the Vatican?

#38 - Posted by: Don L on September 3, 2008 08:40 AM

hehe What do you expect?

Scientology is a religion and Darwin's theory of evolution and man-made global warming are 'science', thus beyond question to these people.

#39 - Posted by: Mike on September 3, 2008 02:01 PM

I used to believe Evolution was real, then I found IMAO.

#40 - Posted by: Freedom Fries on September 5, 2008 02:50 AM
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