WASHINGTON (AP) - Barack Obama today is reeling from accusations that the Democratic presidential hopeful habitually indulges in the peculiar fetish of dressing gerbils in lederhosen. Spokesmen for the campaign deny the accusation.

Obama dresses gerbils in lederhosen - damning photographic evidence (AP Photo/Chris Muir)

"This is the craziest thing I've ever heard," said Obama spokesman Bill Burton. "Mr. Obama is a respected Senator and has never - I repeat, NEVER - forced any domesticated rodent to don festive Bavarian attire."

In his book, "Dreams from My Father", Obama did admit to having once dressed a kitten in a tutu, but dismissed the incident as "youthful experimentation" which did not continue into his adult years.

Some, however, believe that Obama's forays into the seamy world of mammalian fashionalia was not put away with his childhood toys. David Freddoso noted in his book, "The Case Against Barack Obama", that many of Obama's adult associates were animal-dressers. "Unrepentant domestic terrorist William Ayers - ferrets in fezzes... Black liberation theologist Reverend Jeremiah Wright - white cats in Klan hats... Money-laundering political influence peddler Tony Rezko - badgers in burkas... with friends like these to help him feel 'normal', Obama's oft-disclaimed penchant for putting gerbils in lederhosen seemed a natural outlet for relieving the tension of the campaign trail."

Obama neighbor and dangerously crazed extreme right-wing cartoonist Chris Muir claims to be an eye-witness to Obama's bestial haberdashery. "I was rooting through Barack's garbage, hoping to find some old pizza crusts or something - web cartooning don't pay squat, and I was SO hungry - when this little rat-thing runs squeaking across the lawn like something out of the Stephen King version of 'The Sound of Music'. I got my camera and snapped a picture. I'll trade it to ya for some Ramen noodles. I'm SO hungry."

Burton claims the picture is a fake. "You call this proof? This isn't even a GOOD fake! Look at this thing! The lederhosen are DRAWN on! What kind of pathetically retarded moron would believe this is real?"

MoveOn.org spokesman Adam Green announced that his organization has started a petition to have Obama removed from the Democratic presidential ticket and replaced by Hillary Clinton. "We can't condone the forced costuming of subservient companion animals," said Green. "When Hillary used to make Bill dress up as Little Bo Peep, at least it was consensual."

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