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I didn't make this, but I sure do like it.

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via spacemonkey . . .

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the official IMAO beer wench!

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. . . what's in the cabinet?

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Ever wonder why IMAO became a group blog? Me neither. But I recently stumbled over this old mountaineermusing post that describes the events preceding this tragic event.

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Japanese company Artificial Life recently announced that it was releasing version 2.0 of V-Girl. A massive hit in Asian countries, V-Girl involves a synthetic girlfriend with routines the player watches and becomes involved in. There is an ever-evolving daily and weekly schedule which includes visiting your V-Girl's virtual home, work or bar, and shopping with her virtual girlfriends.

That gave me a brilliant idea--why not apply this concept to our very own SarahK! With SarahK coming off the market in December, this is the only way that her mountaineermusing and IMAO fans can partake of the authentic "SarahK experience." The IMAO crew has been working day and night to write the code for V-SarahK, and we are finally ready with our beta release. So, get ready to walk a mile in FrankJ's shoes, for I give you . . .

V-SarahK, v. 1.0 BETA

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the new Mr. Afghanistan!

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Hi, my name is Sandy Sheethead, Grand High Wizard of the Hazzard County KKK, and new IMAO guest blogger. I'm coming to you today promote my latest foray into the political system. I have organized a rally outside of President Bush's ranch down in Crawford, Texas to protest the illegal and immoral enforcement of civil rights for Blacks, Jews, and other inferior races. My protest is headquarted at what has come to be known as "Camp Sheethead" (I call it a "camp" even though I actually stay at a local hotel when the media isn't around). My aim is to force President Bush into meeting me so I can lecture him about Aryan rights and the misguided policies of the Civil Rights movement. Me and several hundred other Klan sympathizers sing songs, chant, and hold press conferences. We've also set up nearly 2000 burning crosses (one for each month since we lost the War of Northern Agression) to underscore our message. Since we have nearly twice as many protestors as Cindy Sheehan has, I figure we must be twice as reflective of public opinion as she is. I mean, its not like you can get 100 people together to protest about something that only appeals to the kookiest fringe of American society. In the face of our massive 200 person protest, I expect that President Bush will see the error of his ways, repeal the offending portions of the Constituation, and set up some concentration camps. Now where did Brian Williams wander off to . . .

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i'm going to hop on my hog and do some research for my new book . . .

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mechanical engineers suspect that the screen door shown in the photo may have something to do with the problems it is facing off of Russia's Far East coast

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The crew of the space shuttle Discovery completed repairs on the shuttle today while parked at the ISS . . .

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ever wonder what a water balloon would look like if popped in zero gravity . . .
http://exploration.grc.nasa.gov/balloon/blob.htm

some driving tips I think you'll find useful . . .
http://www.mentaldischarge.com/?section=printables&id=42

you think you know movies? take these quizzes . . .
http://www.filmwise.com/invisibles/index.shtml

who knew? . . .
http://www.samuelsdesign.com/comics/pages/catman32.htm

i want to believe . . .
http://www.ufocasebook.com/bestufopictures.html

hardcore star wars fan . . .
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/

can it be? an alliance website that is actually funny! (NSFW)
i don't agree with his taste in women, but I dig the website . . .
http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/

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sarahk's recent bout with stomach flu gave me a great idea for a new product . . .

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Well renowned intellectual Ricky Martin recently took a stab at raising awareness about Arab profiling. Martin, a former member of Menudo and "Livin' La Vida Loca" one-hit wonder, attended the silver jubilee of the Arab Children's Congress in Jordan. Martin posed for photos with Arab teenage fans and at one point a traditional Arab kaffiyeh headscarf with the slogan "Jerusalem Is Ours" written in Arabic was draped over his shoulders.

"I had no idea that the kaffiyeh scarf presented to me contained language referring to Jerusalem, and I apologize to anyone who might think I was endorsing its message," Martin said in a statement released Monday by his New York-based publicist, Ken Sunshine.

Unfortunately, this isn't the first time that Martin has found himself in this type of awkward situation . . .

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If you're living under a rock, context.

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sarahk in frankj's shower -- must be 18 to view

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Happy birthday to Frank! Sarah can finally kiss him goodnight without risking an 18 month stint in the Brevard County Correctional Institution.

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It's probably bad form to link to something that LGF has linked to, but I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't maximize your chances of reading the funniest thing i've read in awhile. A fever dream over at DU . . .

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context

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Dear Senator Santorum,

It was with great disappointment and sadness this morning that I learned that two days before you introduced a bill that critics say would restrict the National Weather Service, your political action committee received a $2,000 donation from the chief executive of a leading provider of weather data. I think this alleged action makes the Republicans look bad at a time when we can ill afford any more political setbacks.

In the future, Senator, I would encourage you to refuse to put any bill forward for less than a $50,000 contribution. It's a sad day when a Senator's vote can be purchased for such a fiddling sum--it makes the whole party look shabby and cheap. I have it on good authority that the going rate for Senator Schumer, who has four years less seniority than you, is at least $100,000 (in a brown envelope passed under the table no less). I doubt that a measley $2,000 contribution would even get you a seat at a table near the kitchen door at a Senator Kennedy fundraiser, much less get a bill introduced in Congress.

Further, accepting a $2,000 contribution creates confusion. That sum is so low, that I doubt that most Senators would realize he has been "bought off" by its acceptance. Please do better in the future.

Your loyal subject,

Cadet Happy

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It's true that the IMAO crew works hard every day to bring you the quality entertainment you've come to expect. But we also like to play hard, and in that vein we're proud to anounce the formation of our new interpretive dance troupe: The Rollickin' Ronin.

We have booked a number of gigs between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and would appreciate your support if you can make it to one of our shows.

June 11 -- The Cubby Hole in Fort Lauderdale, FL
June 24 -- Studz Orlando in Orlando, FL
July 22 -- Sassy's in Amarillo, TX
July 23 -- BUddies II in Dallas, TX (two shows)

Keep posted for additional dates--we may be prancing at a locale near you!

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. . . corruption

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:via scott:

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I was at the zoo this morning and took this picture of my favorite animal--the Arizona RINO (genus:republican species:innamusonly). The RINO is a very accommodating beast--whenever a camera is nearby it is sure to come trotting over. It accommodatingly poses itself in whatever position will bring the most attention to itself, regardless of the jeopardy it places the rest of the herd in. I guess, like humans, some RINOs are just jerks

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the seat is comfortable, but the 200 year old parchment really chaps your ass

In case you hadn't heard, five people (who hide behind the label "Supreme Court majority") decided today that you and your fellow citizens are incapable of governing yourself in relation to the issue of whether juveniles between the ages of 16 and 18 should be executed for first degree murder. If you read their opinion (and I encourage you to do so--especially the dissents--because it underscores everything that is wrong with the judicial system these days) you will note that they describe in great detail how there is no national consensus regarding this issue (i.e. different states have treated the issue differently through the legislative process), then conclude that there is in fact a national consensus that the death penalty should not be enforced in such cases. Huh?

What is nearly as appalling as this total usurption of the democratic process, is that the juvenile they removed from death row committed one of the most calculated and cruel acts of murder you will ever have the misfortune to read about. If anyone of any age ever deserved the death penalty, certainly the killer in the case before the court did.

If Republican Senator's don't have the guts to exercise the nuclear option after this debacle, we mine as well give up hope that we will ever be freed from judicial tyranny.

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