About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!

Buy funniest book ever!
Buy funniest book ever!




IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK


Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World

Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits



Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery

Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us

Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards

 

In My World - Fan Fiction Archives

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 19, 2008
In Messiah's World: Comforting the Afflicted
Posted by Harvey at 10:00 AM

(In My World Fan Fiction by Harvey)

Fresh from single-handedly saving the state of Illinois from the ravaging flood waters of the Mississippi, Barack Obama arrived in Detroit in search of more hapless victims of seven years of Bush-McCain policies to rescue. Passing Wayne County Community College, damsel in distress Marilyn Pace cried out in anguish, causing the presumptive Democratic nominee to leap into action.

"There, there, photogenic white girl."

"Help me, Obamessiah!" cried Marilyn, "I've spent all my money on clothes, shoes, jewelry, vodka, Red Bull, piercings, and back tattoos! I've no money left for tuition! How will I pay for school without getting a job like some fat, unpopular girl whom the national media's cameras love not?"

"Fear not," declared Obama, striking a puffy-chested super-hero-like pose while patting her on the shoulder in a way that he hoped would be difficult to construe as sexual harassment, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you. I will shower you with thousands of previously unavailable tuition dollars. All I ask in return is that you do a good job, keep hanging in there, and make good choices. Like voting for me to prove you're not racist," he added with a "maybe I'm kidding, maybe I'm not" grin that glinted under the glare from the press's light like an Orbit gum commercial.

"But how will you pay for it?", sobbed Marilyn.

"Same way I'll pay for everything I promise - by stealing money from someone who has more of it than you but less than me. Like from kid over there who looks un-fair-sharingly wealthy."

"But I'm not wealthy!" objected the target of Obama's accusation. "My clothes aren't Old Navy faux-raggedy, they're Salvation Army REAL-raggedy!"

"Questioning me is racism!" Obama snarled, poking a menacing - yet impeccably manicured - finger into the boy's chest. "Now stop showing antipathy towards those who are different than you and pony up!"

"Like most of today's youth, I'd gladly give my life to support your hip & trendy multicultural neo-welfare state, but I spent my last dollar at the Friends of the Earth bake sale. Would a tofu brownie help?"

"Won't cooperate, eh?" frowned Obama. "Very well... YOU!... uh... Secret Service guy... uh... what's your name?"

"Tom"

"That's way too complicated for me to remember without a teleprompter," scowled Obama, "I'll just call you Whitey. Ok, Whitey, dangle that guy by his ankles & shake him until he dewealthifies. This white female demographic representative needs tuition money."

Tom's shaking produced nothing, save vaguely effeminate mewlings of protest, an unused-but-optimistically-kept condom, and a clearly not-empty crumpled plastic sandwich bag.

"ALLLL RIIIIGHT! WEED!" shouted Obama, stuffing the baggie's contents into the bowl of a colorful glass pipe which had traveled from his jacket pocket to his hand with eerie ninja quickness. "Time to inhale... frequently."

"But... but...", wept a befuddled Marilyn, "you said in your book that you'd given up drugs YEARS ago!"

"Change happens," whispered Obama hoarsely, exhaling as little as possible.

"I don't understand how this helps me pay my tuition," Marilyn blubbered as she turned a bit to her left to allow a CNN cameraman to capture her good side.

"Hope will pay your tuition. Hope for change. And change is me. Vote Obama '08. But now I must go."

"Don't leave me!" wailed Marilyn, pausing to make sure a New York Times reporter spelled her name right. "Only you and your blessed fountains of government revenue - which will NOT be gouged from the nearly-empty pockets of those who work hard and play by the rules - can save me from my undeserved and completely unavoidable fate which I couldn't possibly have seen coming or planned for when I first decided to attend college several years ago!"

"I'm sorry, but I must. I have to go vet the vetter who's vetting my Veep vetter. UP, UP, AND AWAY!" shouted Obama as he thrust his clench-fisted arms in the air, leapt towards the sky, and landed chin-first onto the ground a moment later.

"Heh" chuckled Obama, standing up and dusting himself off, "forgot that I can't fly. DAMN that's some A-Prime smoke! Hey kid - still got that tofu brownie?".

Rating: 3.0/5 (16 votes cast)

Comments (30)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
May 28, 2006
In Frank's World - Fan Fiction
Posted by Harvey at 12:26 PM

Morgnet continues Buck Wild at the UN:
Part 4: UN Security Boogaloo.
Part 5: Fear the 'Stache! (Caution: some mental imagery may cause permanent damage to your mind's eye)
Part 6: When Lime Green Ninjas Attack! The Final Chapter

The Order of the Blue Square has a slice of D.C. life:

No, silly, that couldn't be the president. He always travels with lots of bodyguards and things called 'motorcades,' honey."

"But he looks lost and confused, just like on TV!" she responded.

Think you can write better In My World fan fiction than these drunken monkeys? Prove it, and leave a link in the comments.

Rating: 2.7/5 (30 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
May 23, 2006
In Frank's World - More Fan Fiction
Posted by Harvey at 11:06 AM

Morgnet has more Buck Wild at the UN. Part 2 - Bush consults the Oracle, while the Snowman learns his place; and part 3 - Buck gets the go signal. Pity the baby raccoon.

Brèves proves that the French ARE good for something - being strangled. Although I hope Rummy makes an exception for Woland, the guy at Brèves who wrote the piece.

Meanwhile, The Rumsfeld Strangler keeps us updated on blogging, interviews, pets, and his opinion of the movement to make English the national language.



If you've posted any In My World Fan Fiction on your blog, leave a link in the comments.

Rating: 3.4/5 (31 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
May 21, 2006
In Frank's World - Fan Fiction Round-up
Posted by Harvey at 11:28 AM

The Order of the Blue Square has President Bush (who does NOT look fat in that suit) sending in the Marines. Or *a* Marine, as the case may be.

Morgnet follows Tony Snow as he gets initiated into the inner workings of the White House. Personally, I want to download the files on Bush's PDA.

The Moxargon Group is right - it IS fun being an illegal alien! Also, I had no idea that the White House had an official Oval Office poking stick. Hope Frank J. doesn't get one of those.

Fmragtops has Rummy taking a more "hands on" approach to troop training. Considering his deep and mystical understanding of the martial arts, I have to say that this would be a good thing in the real world, too.



Ya know, you guys are better at this than I thought you were gonna be.

Think maybe I should make a weekly carnival out of this?

Might help out with that "you guys never post anything on the weekend" problem.

Meanwhile, keep 'em coming and drop a link in the comments.

Rating: 3.0/5 (15 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
May 19, 2006
It's NOT a Ripoff... It's An "Homage"
Posted by Harvey at 04:01 PM

Things inspired by the Frank's "In My World" category:

* The New Chainik Hocker's story of Condi gone wild.

* A 2005 Rumsfeld press conference.

What else do you Frank Worlders have for fan fiction? Isn't ANYONE going to give Buck the Marine some foreigners to kill?

Nothing more dangerous than a Marine who ain't out kill'n stuff, ya know.

Rating: 2.4/5 (34 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
May 18, 2006
We Need A Name For This Phenomenon
Posted by Harvey at 10:12 PM

So... aside from The Rumsfeld Strangler, has anyone else been posting "In My World" fan fiction?

It makes Frank happy, as long as there's linkage giving IMAO credit for the inspiration.

Anyway, if you have an IMW fan fiction post, drop a link in the comments.

If you haven't been writing IMW fan fiction, get started. I mean, it's not like Frank is gonna get around to giving Buck the Marine a new mission anytime soon.

By the way... if Star Trek fans are called "Trekkies", then what are In My World fans called?

Rating: 2.5/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (17)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933