About IMAO



Giving money to Frank J. makes you happy!

Buy funniest book ever!
Buy funniest book ever!




IMAO Podcasts
IMAO Merchandise and Newsletter

Cool shirts, mugs, stickers, and what-not!

About IMAO
Then conquer we must, for our cause is just, 
And this be our motto--'In God is our trust.' 
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave 
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.


If you want to send something by snail mail, e-mail with subject "P.O. Box" to get mail information for Frank J. and SarahK.

Bloggers:
Frank J.
Harvey
RightWingDuck
Cadet Happy
spacemonkey
Laurence Simon
SarahK


Popular Categories
Fred Thompson Facts
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
lolterizt
IMAO Condensed
Know Thy Enemy
Editorials
Frank the Artist
In My World

Other Content
Ode to Violence
Brief Histories
IMAO Audio Bits



Read the Essay
Own the Shirt
Peace Gallery

Search IMAO
Google
Web www.imao.us

Testimonials
"All quotes attributed to me on IMAO are made up... including this one."
-Glenn Reynolds

"Unfunny treasonous ronin!"
-Lou Tulio*

"You, sir, are a natural born killer."
-E. Harrington

"You'll never get my job! Never!!!"
-Jonah Goldberg

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And He did despair, for in His omniscience, He did know that His creations had but three-fifths of the splendor of that which would be IMAO."
-No One of Consequence

"A blogger with a sense of humor."
-Some Woman on MSNBC
Blogroll
Ace of Spades HQ
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Blackfive
Captain's Quarters
Classical Values
Conservative Grapevine
The Corner
The Daily Gut (with Jim Treacher!)
Dave in Texas
Eject! Eject! Eject!
Electric Venom
Hot Air
Puppy Blender
La Shawn Barber's Corner
Michelle Malkin
Pereiraville
Protein Wisdom
Rachel Lucas
Right Wing News
Scrappleface
Serenity's Journal
Townhall Blog

IMAO Blogroll
Bad Example
Cadet Happy
The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles
mountaineer musings
Right Wing Duck
SarahK & Cadet Happy snark TV
This Blog Is Full of Crap

Fred Thompson Links
Fred File
Blogs for Fred
Fred Thompson Facts
Awards

 

John Edwards Fabulous Facts Archives

Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
February 04, 2008
One For the Road
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

edwards on chair.jpg

"All right, which one of you jokers said 'MOUSE!'?"

Rating: 2.4/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (24)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 31, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Facts Grand Finale
Posted by Harvey at 11:38 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgApparently my Fabulous Facts so humiliated the little pillow-biter that he quit the race and ran home crying to his mommy.

And yet I still have a big pile of Facts left.

Seems kinda pointless to keep kicking the man in his withered jubblies every day when he's not in the race any more, so I'll just do one more big Riverdance on his cowering form and call it a day.

I do, however, reserve the right to resurrect this feature in the horribly unlikely event that he gets the nod for VP.

Note for those who've suggested an Obama daily feature - it's not ripe for happening yet. The man simply doesn't have a mockable stereotype, since he's just another black socialist, albeit a particularly clean and articulate one. Hillary's got pure evil. What's Barack got?

If he develops a personality between now and the convention - or at least gets a humiliating YouTube video posted about him - I may be able to get something going.

Meanwhile, let's say good-bye in style to Ann Coulter's favorite faggot:



Two Bonus Facts from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards's abrupt decision to abandon his quest for the Democrat Presidential nomination was prompted by his sudden realization that he wouldn't be able to have either Judy Garland or Ethel Merman perform at the inaugural ball.

John Edwards looks forward to Super Bowl Sunday every year, because all those folks at home watching the game means they're not at the mall getting in the way of his shoe shopping.

And here's me emptying my Big Bucket O' Fabulous Facts:

* The truth in John Edwards's secret heart is that he would gladly see EVERYONE in America living in poverty if it could somehow cause the development of a painless leg hair removal process.

* John Edwards doesn't understand how people could accidentally grab two coffee filters. How could they lift them both?

* John Edwards Pet Peeve #53 - "waterproof" mascara that runs all over the pillow he's biting.

* In John Edwards's experience, ALL caps are childproof.

* John Edwards Pet Peeve #61 - getting poked by his underwire.

* John Edwards always takes it personally and starts crying when he sees a "no fat chicks" bumper sticker.

* John Edwards wonders - how DO people manage to wrap things in aluminum foil?

* Does anyone else think it odd that if you ask John Edwards for advice about jock itch, he'll nod & say "Vagisil"?

* John Edwards is physically incapable of passing a women's magazine rack without jealously hissing "siliconed hussy!".

* Although usually a model of self-control, John Edwards will still occasionally slip and wink at a hot guy cruising by in a convertible.

* John Edwards's saddest day wasn't November 2, 2004, it was the day he realized that he would never be the guest of honor at a baby shower.

* John Edwards Pet Peeve #75 - returning his airplane seat to the upright & locked position and getting flung over the seat in front of him in the process.

* John Edwards puts the "man" in "manicure".

* Although not famous for his pugilistic skills, John Edwards did once manage to bruise a banana while bloodying only two knuckles.

* John Edwards hates the look of his 5 o'clock shadow, but some days your hectic campaign schedule only gives you the chance to shave your legs first thing in the morning.

* At parties, John Edwards always whips out his wallet and starts showing off pictures of his hair dryers.

* America's Funniest Home Video - John Edwards trying to pick anchovies off his pizza and being soundly defeated by the superior might of the cheese.

Just kidding. THIS will always be America's Funniest Home Video.

So long, John, and thanks for all the comedy gold.

Rating: 2.8/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 30, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:29 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThat sound... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced... just John Edwards chipping his his nail polish two hours after a manicure.

Rating: 3.0/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 29, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 09:28 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards Pet Peeve #47 - burning his mouth on vichyssoise.

Rating: 2.8/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 28, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:11 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgSay what you will about John Edwards, but at least his "getting out of the limo upskirt shots" ALWAYS show him wearing panties.

Rating: 2.3/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 27, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 12:51 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is jealous of Jane Fonda's career for many reasons, but mostly because it included John Edwards's lifelong dream of kissing Ted Turner's tickly little moustache.

Rating: 2.5/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 26, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 06:09 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgFor John Edwards, dropping the soap in the shower isn't a tragedy, it's a greeting.

Rating: 2.5/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 24, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:36 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgEasiest job in the world: being John Edwards's athletic supporter.

Hardest job in the world: being his Wonderbra.

Rating: 3.2/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 23, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:41 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards knows that "sucking a golf ball through a garden hose" isn't a metaphor, it's a talent.

Rating: 2.3/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 22, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:45 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgFor John Edwards, the worst part about dandruff isn't the embarrassing flakes, it's the bruises where they land on his shoulders.

Rating: 2.3/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 21, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact - Challenge Edition
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

Regular contributor Chris sent me a picture, and he and I are both convinced there's a John Edwards joke in there somewhere, but neither one of us can find it:

whorse.jpg

If you think you've found it, leave it in the comments.

If you haven't found it, visit the comments and leave High Praise! for the people who you think have.

Rating: 2.6/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (38)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 20, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 12:43 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn't understand why people complain about getting wonderful, wonderful wedgies.

Rating: 3.7/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (18)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 19, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:48 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards loves that the Swiffer Duster actually picks up the dust instead of just pushing it around, but it makes the darn thing so heavy!

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 18, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:35 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards always brings a supply of fresh, transfusable blood on the campaign trail, because he knows that no one ever plans on getting a paper cut.

Rating: 2.7/5 (15 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 17, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:43 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards Pet Peeve #22 - escalators when he's wearing spiked heels.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 16, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards pet peeve #16 - passing a store window that's only 30% reflective.

Rating: 2.0/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 15, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgHistory's greatest feats of strength:

King Arthur - Excalibur from a stone.
John Edwards - Napkin from a dispenser.

Rating: 2.7/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (25)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 14, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAfter embarrassing himself by pushing on a door marked "pull", John Edwards will embarrass himself further by pulling and getting the same result.

Rating: 2.8/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 13, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 11:52 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards always has the football game on, but only really watches it when the offensive line is bent over waiting for the snap.

Rating: 2.6/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 12, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 11:57 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWith John Edwards, there are no bad haircuts - only hairstylists who are marked for death.

Rating: 2.6/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 11, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAlthough not a pack rat by nature, John Edwards just can't talk himself into throwing out his Jane Fonda workout video & leg warmers.

Bonus Fact from Chris:
John Edwards has a bitch bell.
[Caution: Once viewed, this video can't be un-seen. Not responsible for loss of sleep, composure, or sanity.]

Rating: 2.6/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 10, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgDon't get me wrong, I don't have anything against John Edwards personally, but that look of sublime ecstasy he gets on his face after being spritzed while walking by a department store perfume counter is just a little bit creepy, doncha think?

Rating: 2.7/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 09, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:21 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgMost people are surprised to learn that John Edwards has a tattoo, but take a good look at his eyeliner sometime.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
Power tools scare John Edwards. Actually, any tool scares John Edwards, even his manicurist's nail file.

Bonus Fact Video from Jim of 24thState.com (which actually predates the Hawkins video, but I've been too lazy to post this):

Illustrated Bonus Fact from Dick of Suicide Help Desk's comment (#3) about John Edwards's favorite Monty Python sketch:

Illustrated Bonus Fact from exhelodrvr (#4) about John Edwards's least favorite Monty Python sketch:

Rating: 2.7/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 08, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards believes in the conspiracy theory that Big Hairspray is paying millions to keep the uncloggable spray nozzle off the market.

Rating: 2.6/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 07, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:36 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThe most annoying thing about going out drinking with John Edwards? Having to listen to his incessant ranting about how EVERY pad should have wings.

Rating: 3.2/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 06, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:34 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's Pet Peeve #7: being sick and - after searching the mansion high and low - only being able to find the oral thermometer.

Rating: 2.5/5 (15 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 05, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:27 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is incapable of entering a flower shop without gazing around and whispering "I'm prettier than all of you".

Rating: 2.5/5 (15 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 04, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgA shoe salesman once told John Edwards "those size 5 pumps are too small, let's try a size 6". That size 6 is STILL lodged in the guy's colon.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 03, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards wishes someone would hurry up and invent Post-It-Note-strength velcro.

Rating: 1.8/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
John Edwards: Silky, Sassy, No Split Ends
Posted by Frank J. at 01:00 PM

In an attempt to help out John Edwards, here are facts about John Edwards put to music made by John Hawkins. Edwards is definitely IMAO's choice in the Democratic race, so we hope he slaps the competition in Iowa!

Rating: 2.1/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 02, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards always does crossword puzzles in ink, although, oddly, all his answers are "my perfect hair".

Rating: 2.0/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
January 01, 2008
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards can't walk through a clothing store without feeling a cramp of bitter envy while passing by a "size 3" rack.

Rating: 1.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 31, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:12 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edward's life didn't really begin until after cell phones started coming with automatic voice dialing - no more bruised fingertips!

Rating: 2.3/5 (15 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:10 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards could never make it through an entire church service if Elizabeth didn't bring along a little bag of Cheerios for him to munch on.

Rating: 2.3/5 (23 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:56 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's Pet Peeve #12 - itchy post-Brazilian-wax pubie stubble.

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:27 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's least favorite part of the campaign trail? Bone-crushing handshakes from toddlers.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:31 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen confronted with a full-sized Kraft Jet-Puffed marshmallow, John Edwards long ago resigned himself to having to break out the electric carving knife.

Rating: 2.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgEvery time he watches Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer, John Edwards thinks, "No, Clarice, that scruffy studmuffin Yukon Cornelius is the one who's 'cute'."

Rating: 1.7/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 09:09 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgNothing makes John Edwards laugh harder than procotologist jokes with the punchline "that's not my finger", since it actually happens to him every visit.

Rating: 3.0/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards new universal health care program will cover mental health treatments which are currently priced out of reach of working families, such as Acute Retail Therapy, (aka Gap Spending Sprees).

Rating: 1.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:37 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpg

* "We Are Family", performed by Sister Sledge
* "Over the Rainbow", performed by Judy Garland
* "I'm Coming Out", performed by Diana Ross
* "My Funny Valentine", performed by Frank Sinatra
* "YMCA", performed by Village People
* "Dancing Queen", performed by ABBA
* "MacArthur Park", performed by Donna Summer
* "I Will Survive", performed by Gloria Gaynor
* "It's Raining Men", performed by The Weather Girls
* "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)", performed by Dead or Alive
* "Karma Chameleon", performed by Culture Club
* "Relax", performed by Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Are these

A) Gay anthems?
B) Hot dance tunes?
C) Cassingles that John Edwards has played until the tape snapped?

Rating: 1.6/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThings John Edwards candidacy brings to the table:

1) A firm but flexible foreign policy

2) Real tax fairness for working families

3) Fashion sense, girlfriend!

Rating: 2.3/5 (18 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:46 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards would like to see a more tolerant and open-minded America. One where people will be judged by the content of their character and not whether they wear white shoes after Labor Day like degenerate inbreds.

Rating: 2.3/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards loves playing tennis. He feels so deliciously naughty when his skirt flies up during his serves.

Rating: 1.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (16)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is still waiting for someone to invent a machine that will remove peanut skins so that his fingertips won't get cut to ribbons any more.

Rating: 2.0/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:17 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIn nature, the crocodile promises the Egyptian Plover (or crocodile bird) that it won't be eaten as long as it does a good job of picking rotting food out of its teeth.

In politics, John Edwards promises working families that his policies will not harm them as long as they vote for him.

Crocodile '08
Trust Matters

Rating: 2.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 07:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's MySpace gravatar:
John Edwards South Park.jpg

[Hat tip to my blogless brother Tom for the image. See also South Park Character Creator]

Bonus Fact from Jim
John Edwards knows his limits:


Rating: 2.0/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:52 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgRather than by color, John Edwards arranges his tie collection by "glamtasticness".

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim
If John Edwards is elected President, he will have the White House moved to the Castro district of San Francisco, giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "seat of government."

Rating: 1.8/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThings John Edwards is hopelessly devoted to:

1) The Democratic Party
2) His wife, Elizabeth
3) The "Grease" soundtrack.

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen John Edwards was in kindergarten, he wanted to be either a cowboy or Superman, proving that he's always been an indecisive waffler on the question of "leather or tights?".

[collaborative hat tip: Pork & Beans]

Rating: 2.6/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:30 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpg30 years ago, John Edwards discovered the wonders of Crisco, and now he won't use anything else.

For his Mom's pecan pie recipe.

What did you THINK I was talking about?

Bonus Facts from Jim:
John Edwards knows what it's like to rough it. One time at band camp, he forgot his favorite brush and was stuck using his backup one for two weeks.

It is a well-known myth that Eskimos have dozens of words for "snow". It is a little-known fact that John Edwards has dozens of words for "pedicure".


Bonus Facts from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards is envious of two things about George W. Bush:

1. He's President of the United States
2. He can twist the lids off jars by himself.

Rating: 2.3/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgSlurred speech, falling off his barstool, can't walk a straight line... looks like John Edwards should've said "no" to that third Shirley Temple.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:43 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThere's now an embarrassing video featuring John Edwards floating around the internet. In several scenes you can CLEARLY see John not wearing any hairspray.

Rating: 2.1/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:33 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's aerobic workout consists of tying BOTH his shoelaces.

He's worked himself up to the point now where he can do it without a water break.

Rating: 1.9/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:51 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAlthough John has long been a "friend of Dorothy", he actually prefers his men more like the Scarecrow - brainless and acrobatically flexible.

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 03, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:24 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards wonders why they're called "push pins" instead of "shove with all your might until you're completely drenched in sweat pins".

Bonus Facts from Chris:
John Edwards never had girlfriends... just 'fag hags'

John Edwards has a special device that lowers oxygen levels in his house to keep from getting the bends.

Rating: 2.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:17 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThanks to his mother's constant guilt trips, John Edwards uses every last drop of conditioner in the bottle because "there are millions of children with frizzy hair in India".

Rating: 1.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
December 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:48 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards always keeps a pitcher of water handy to extinguish the spicy burn after a bite of celery.

Rating: 2.4/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWorld's most lopsided defeats:
1) Napoleon at Waterloo
2) John Edwards at the office pencil sharpener.

Rating: 2.7/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:49 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards plan to fight hunger in America? "Let them eat cake".

Rating: 2.6/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:52 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards habitually winces after turning on a light. Those photons HURT!

Rating: 1.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:58 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgTo help America's working families, John Edwards vows to do something about the outrageous profits being raked in by Big Mascara.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards's law school classmates knew that they could find him after class at the local Hooters. Waitressing.

Rating: 2.2/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIf elected President, John Edwards promises to hold daily press conferences where he will answer all celebrity-gossip-related questions.

Rating: 3.0/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 04:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards tends to raise his voice when he gets angry, but only the pitch.

Rating: 2.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:08 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAs a bully in high school, John Edwards would frequently tape "lower my self-esteem" signs on people's backs.

Rating: 2.5/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is a mean drunk, and after three Appletinis, he'll slap you just for looking at him wrong.

Not very hard, mind you, but still...

Rating: 2.5/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 09:47 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThings John Edwards is thankful for:

* Aquanet

* Pocket-sized mirrors

* Hair #56,823 (it's his favorite)

* Silk

* Trailer trash juries

* Full-length mirrors

* Discreet, home-delivery of YM

* Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Midol (you know what I mean, girls)

* Vaguely reflective surfaces

* John Kerry's rancid unlikability, which kept John from becoming a one-term historical footnote like Walter Mondale.

* No, not the CBS news anchor that preceded Dan Rather. I think you just proved my point.



By the way, a shiny new donkey to the person who guesses John Edwards's pet name for Hair #56,823.

Rating: 2.3/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (24)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:41 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgBedtime at the Edwards house includes the nightly coin flip to see who gets to wear the French Maid costume.

Rating: 1.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's Swiss Army knife has no blades, but it does have tweezers... and a compact.

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards can't decide which he hates more about his morning routine: his daily 5-minute struggle to get hair #108,349 to fall into place or his daily 5-minute struggle to get that stupid toaster lever to go down.

Rating: 3.0/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 06:23 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards learned yoga so that he could do a complete self-manscaping.

Rating: 1.6/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 12:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards wishes the Queer Eye guys would quit pestering him for fashion advice.

Rating: 2.5/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgNothing makes John Edwards angrier than when Elizabeth uses his Estée Lauder Re-Nutriv Ultimate Lifting Eye Crème without asking.

Rating: 2.9/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 15, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:44 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's uncontrollable bad habit? Nitpicking Ralph Lauren's Style Guide.

Rating: 3.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (1)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 14, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgNo matter how much he diets, all John Edwards sees in the mirror through his tears is just a big ugly giant fat pair of thighs!

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards's secret stash movies - 'Lord of the Flies', 'Kite Runner' and 'Boys of 2nd St. Park'.

[Huh... I was thinking "Can't Stop the Music" and "L.I.E." - Harvey]

Rating: 2.0/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edward's idea of macho? Watching Titanic without Kleenex handy.

Rating: 2.4/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards hates it when women try to cut in while he's dancing with his buddies.

Rating: 2.2/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:29 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgEars? Tail? Where do YOU start eating a chocolate bunny? John Edwards's answer is "neither..." and you don't want to know the rest.

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's eternal punishment in Hell? Having Carrot Top's hair.

Rating: 1.8/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 09, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:52 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards insists that The Producers wasn't a "real" musical. Now "Rent"...

Bonus Fact from Matthew:
John Edwards' favorite flower is the Cock's Comb, as it combines his two favorite things.

Rating: 2.3/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 08, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIf elected president, John Edwards promises to make antiquing an Olympic sport.

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:28 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards thinks riding a Segway makes him look butch.

Relatively speaking, he's correct.

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
When John Edwards overheard one of his staff members talking about a receding glacier, he squealed "Hillary’s dropping out?"

Rating: 2.3/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 08:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgHow the media quoted John Edwards:
"You know, I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the tooth fairy."

What he actually said:
"You know, I believe in men in love. I believe I'm, in truth, a fairy."

[Hat tip: Kyle]

Bonus Fact from Jim:
Victoria's Secret? Johnnie's pantie size.

Rating: 2.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (17)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:51 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards was recently disappointed to discover that he'd ordered the Mel Brooks PG-13 version of "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" by mistake.

Bonus Fact from Innominatus:
As a self-professed Christian, it's not unusual that John Edwards frequently says "get thee behind me Satan!". It IS unusual that he reflexively grabs his ankles after doing so.

Rating: 3.4/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:17 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIf John Edwards were to travel into space, the Earth would be gravitationally crushed into a quantum singularity from the weight of all the "Uranus" jokes that would be posted on the internet.

Two Bonus Facts from Bill:
John Edwards always has Elizabeth check for monsters under his bed before going to sleep.

John Edwards' idea of a good Halloween prank is to snap a toothpick off in a doorbell... At least it would be a good prank if he could actually snap a full-sized toothpick.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 03, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 04:35 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's personalized license plate: AMB CHSR

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards's OTHER personalized license plate:

edwards hello kitty.jpg

Rating: 1.8/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:24 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards hates his new iPod Nano because carrying it gives him such a backache.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
Last Halloween John Edwards answered the door wearing a green hat with a long feather, a green leather jerkin, green tights, and green slippers with a bell at the curved toe. One parent remarked, "Nice costume, who are you? Peter Pan?"
To which Johnnie answered, "...costume...?"

Two Bonus Facts from Bill:
A friend of the Edwards family rigged up a vice and small pipe wrench on a stand so little John would be able to separate the two halves of Oreo Cookies by himself.

John Edwards has a phobia about sneezing, since he once got a very nasty paper cut pulling out a Kleenex.

Rating: 1.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
November 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:51 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards frequently runs red lights while yelling "It's ok! I'm doing it to help the poor!". To his credit, it IS just as effective as the rest of his anti-poverty schemes.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 31, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgFor years, John Edwards has harbored a secret crush on the Olsen Twins.

Ok, just their collection of party dresses.

Rating: 2.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:44 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAlthough researchers doing DNA testing on John Edwards did NOT detect the gene responsible for homosexuality, they DID discover that his mitochondria are comprised entirely of microscopic cans of Aquanet.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards feels that he is uniquely qualified to deal with health care because he's watched almost every episode of "General Hospital"

Rating: 2.4/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgFor John Edwards, something nearby isn't a "hop, skip & a jump", it's a "mince, prance & a flounce".

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards does not know how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. He always gets emotionally involved and loses count.

Rating: 2.4/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 12:48 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgSmoothness is measured on the "Edwards Scale", with a baby's bottom being 9 and John Edwards's "area" being the hypothetical maximum 10. The hypothetical 0 point has never actually been attained, although some claim that either Mount Everest or Edward James Olmos's face would qualify.

Bonus Fact from Chris:
John Edwards' favorite spice girl... Mrs. Dash

John Edwards prefers white rice... the flavor of brown rice is too bold

John Edwards' secret family recipe for a great cup coffee:
* 1 large mug with luke warm water
* 3 drops brown food coloring
* a whisper of powdered sugar for flavor

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
Kellie Pickler was recently sued by the Edwards campaign for plagiarism, as all the lyrics to "Things That Never Cross a Man's Mind", are direct quotes from John Edwards.

Rating: 2.1/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:57 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards says it hurts his mouth to eat Cap'n Crunch.

Not the cereal.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards is NOT gay...but he does play one on TV.

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's career as a mime nearly ended in tragedy when he spent three days without food or water, fruitlessly trying to escape from his invisible box.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
Rejected John Edwards campaign slogans:

"FAAAAAAAAABULOUS!"

"All this, and brains too"

"Better hair than that Korean guy."

Rating: 2.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgRock & Roll trivia: a young John Edwards had a cameo in the Dire Straits "Money for Nothing" video (about the 1:50 mark), during the line "the little faggot with the earring and the makeup".

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards is having a hard time deciding on his Hallowe'en costume - Wonder Woman, Snow White, Liberace, a ballerina... they just all seem so... butch.

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's last trip to sporting event was doubly disappointing. Not only did the Charlotte Sting lose, but the lines for the ladies' room were just unconscionable!

Bonus Fact from Jim:
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country" - John F. Kennedy

"I'm a lover, not a fighter" - John Edwards

Rating: 2.1/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (17)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's least favorite part of his annual physical? The Pap smear.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards had a cancer scare once, but his mammogram came back negative.

Bonus Fact from Jim
:
When John Edwards was in college, a group decided to put on an all-male production of "Sweet Charity."

Yes...John Edwards ran around wearing fish-nets, slit skirt, floozy blouse with a bra showing, a blonde wig, and garish make-up.

No...he wasn't part of the production.

Rating: 2.0/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:40 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgNever once has John Edwards either failed or missed a Cosmo quiz.

Rating: 2.1/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 11:30 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgTo avoid alienating potential voters during his already-precarious presidential campaign, at public appearances John Edwards has been doing a LOT of elaborate verbal side-stepping on the Hummel vs. Precious Moments question.

Rumor has it he's actually a Lladro man.

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgYou want proof of the MSM's liberal bias? I think the fact that this 60 Minutes piece was completely ignored is proof enough:

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards personal physician was stumped by a re-occurring bruise at Silky’s neckline until he admitted wearing John Kerry's class ring at the debates for emotional support.

Rating: 1.9/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:47 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgSometimes a cigar is just a cigar, although not in John Edwards's mouth.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
When John Edwards was in high school, his parents insisted that his date have John home by 10:00, and they'd sit up to make sure that it happened.

Bonus Facts from Casper the Friendly Host:
Elizabeth Edwards had to install a seat belt system in the master bathroom after she found Lil’ Johnny crumpled in a heap in the corner. Apparently, the new bidet shot Silky across the bathroom and into the wall.

After a grueling three hour session with his "campaign advisor", John Edwards had to ride the bidet for three hours.

Rating: 2.1/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is perfectly capable of using a urinal, as long as he remembers to bring his Whizzy.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards' idea of a DIY project? Cornrowing his own hair.

Rating: 2.0/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgMost people can't eat popcorn without dropping some. John Edwards can't eat popcorn without a little help lifting it.

Bonus fact from ExUrbanKevin:
Maybe John Edwards was born with it, maybe it's Maybelline.

Rating: 1.8/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 15, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgGay Episcopal Priests wear wristbands that say "WWJED".

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 14, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 05:24 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards has to use a pry bar to remove refrigerator magnets.

Or would, if he could actually lift a pry bar.

Rating: 2.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 05:04 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThings John Edwards can't walk through:

a) Walls

b) Particularly thick fog banks

Bonus Facts from Casper the Friendly Host:
Unable to pull it apart on his own, John Edwards must eat cotton candy with a spork.

John Edwards was hospitalized with a broken tibia when his CD-ROM drive opened into his leg without warning.

It took his new assistant a moment to understand what he meant when he hissed at her, "I was very clear, wasn’t I? I need ones with WINGS!"

An unknown feminine whisper was overheard on the candidate’s open mikes at the last Democratic debate, "Gawd, Obama makes me moist." However, Hillary was drinking water at the time.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:50 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThe worst part of being John Edwards's secretary? Constantly being called into his office to help him pull Post-It Notes off legal documents.

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
Fred Thompson isn’t the only candidate with a trophy wife; unfortunately for John Edwards, his trophy was for last place.

Rating: 2.6/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards turned down the lead role in Three's Company after he found out the script only had him acting gay in front of Mr. Roper.

Rating: 1.4/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:55 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgEvery night, the Edwards household reverberates with the screams of yet another "Maybelline vs. Cover Girl" argument.

Bonus Facts from Jim:
If you don't count high heels, John Edwards actually has a few more pairs of shoes than his wife Elizabeth.

If you do count them, he beats her by a mile.

Believing he was home alone, John Edwards was startled when he walked into his bedroom and found Elizabeth sitting on the bed.

"John," she said, "I want you to do something for me."
"What is it?" he asked.
"Take off my blouse."
He slowly unbuttoned the garment and the white silk floated to the floor.
"Now," she continued, "pull off my shoes and skirt."
John quickly complied. With a nervous quiver in his voice he asked, "Uhm, anything else?"
"Yes," she said in a quiet but determined voice. "I want you to remove my panties and bra...I supoooose the garters could stay???"
The lingerie was soon tossed on the foot of the bed. She looked him straight in the eye and in a business like voice said, "John, there's one final thing I want."
"What dear?"
"I want you to stop wearing my clothes! You keep stretching them out!"

Rating: 2.2/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 09, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once killed a man for saying his favorite lavender shirt was actually more of a lilac color.

Rating: 2.5/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 08, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards always wanted to be... a LUMBERJACK!

Bonus Fact from Bill O'Reilly (via Damian G. of Conservathink):
A decision made by John Edwards this week was widely interpreted as a sign that his campaign is in trouble. What did he do?

a) Cut his staff by 30%
b) Accepted public financing
c) Agreed to appear on Fox News
d) Cancelled a scheduled visit to Iowa
e) Shared a hotel room with Dennis Kucinich

Rating: 2.0/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once hit a baseball so hard that it landed all the way on the other side of the batter's box.

Rating: 1.7/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 06:13 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards thinks it's strange that Ken dolls aren't sold in pairs.

Bonus Fact From Jim:
John Edwards had one tattoo.
It's a unicorn.
It's on his butt.
It washes off.

Rating: 2.9/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:04 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards can't understand how his secretary can always manage to get a staple through two sheets of paper in one shot.

Bonus Fact from Chris:
Whenever John Edwards hears the song "Butterfly Kisses" he gets flashbacks of the 'incident' in his 'boyhood' where he was ravaged by a Monarch.

Bonus Fact From Silicon Valley Jim:
60% of the depletion of earth's ozone layer is due to John Edwards's personal grooming practices, scientists said today.

Bonus Fact From Casper the Friendly Host:
Knowing he wouldn’t have time during the campaign season, John Edwards went to his orthodontist last spring asking if the "Perfect Smile"came in a "Fold-Back Teeth" model.

Rating: 2.8/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen asked "paper or plastic" at the checkout counter, John Edwards always chooses plastic. He knows plastic bags aren't eco-friendly, but those paper ones are just so darn heavy.

Rating: 2.9/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 03, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:53 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIn the upcoming Batman film Dark Knight, John Edwards will play archvillain "The Manhole Inspector".

Rating: 3.5/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAl Gore may have invented the internet, but John Edwards invented the curtsey.

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards campaign just announced the latest endorsement: Sen. Robert Byrd. In a prepared statement, Sen. Byrd stated, “As I flipped through the stations between Matlock and re-runs of Card Sharks, I saw Johnnie talking to a bunch of worthless whippersnappers on that MTV crap. But then I heard how he planned to pick up where I had left off so many years ago and knew I had found my candidate. That boy’s got moxie and gumption, not to mention good hair.”

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards' campaign scrapped an idea for a campaign ad featuring average people giving their impression of the candidate after realizing that every interview ended with the words "...not that there's anything wrong with that!"

Rating: 2.6/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
October 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once sued McDonald's because the Happy Meal they sold him only made him moderately cheerful.

Rating: 2.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 04:33 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgLast time John Edwards got bit by a mosquito, it bled him whiter than what liberals think of Condoleezza Rice.

Rating: 2.9/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:56 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards tried to take up smoking, but the cigarette just slapped his face & said "NUH-uh! I don't swing that way, buddy!"

Bonus facts from Chris:
4) "Ya want fluffy omelets, ya gotta beat 'em until your arm is sore. Good advice for raising kids, too."

John Edwards thought of this when making breakfast once. He still couldn't muster the energy to break the yolk.

Bill Clinton's dream interns: young chubby girls. John Edwards' dream interns? Teletubbies.

Bonus facts from Casper the Friendly Host:
At Wednesday night’s Democratic debate, NBC microphones picked up John Edwards humming his favorite jingle, "I can bring home the bacon..."

Later that same night, his campaign adviser whispered, "Mr. Edwards, the jingle goes 'Things go better with a DOLLOP of DAISY', not 'a polyp of Davy’s', sir."

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 11:00 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgI can't compete with this one from AlanABQ, so the post is all his today:
Willie Nelson's heroes have always been cowboys; John Edwards' heroes have always been Care Bears.

Rating: 2.5/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgToday's Fact is from Jim:
It took many days, but John Edwards's advisers finally talked him out of using his original campaign slogan: "Don't hate me 'cuz I'm beautiful!"

Bonus Fact from Harvey:
Kelly LeBrock hates John Edwards.

Rating: 2.3/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:04 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgOf all the footballs tossed in John Edwards's direction, the only one that didn't make him squeal and duck was the one that hit him in the back of the head.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards can't watch The Wizard of Oz without fondly recalling his high school graduation and his very first pair of ruby slippers.

Rating: 2.6/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards knows what to do when a guy reaches his hand under the stall wall.

Bonus Fact from Chris:
What do John Edwards and an ambulance have in common?

They both get loaded in the rear and go 'WOO WOO!'

Rating: 2.0/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:58 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgLike most men, John Edwards was VERY happy to see the mini-skirt come back into fashion. Unlike most men, John thinks he still has the legs for it.

Bonus Fact from AlanABQ:
John Edwards' biggest grade school compliment? Being told that he throws like a girl.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's biggest grade school trauma? Being called a "tomboy".

Rating: 2.5/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (1)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAlthough usually an early adopter of new technology, John Edwards has already said that he won't buy an iPhone until it comes in pink.

Bonus Facts from Jim:
Based on personal research, I give you the following TRUE* John Edwards Fabulous Fact:

One time, John Edwards bravely ran away.

Brave JohnnyE ran away - No!
Bravely ran away, away - I didn't!
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled - No!
Yes, brave JohnnyE turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, JohnnyE

*The actual document may be fake but the story is acurate!

Rating: 1.9/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards best pick-up line? "Why yes, you CAN buy me a drink".

Bonus Fact from Chris:
When there is debate about 'gang violence', John Edwards mostly refers to the extreme choreography between gangs in West Side Story.

Bonus Facts from Jim:
John Edwards believes that there is NO problem in this world that cannot be fixed by higher taxes, appeasement, or a good line of hair care products.

Why does John Edwards send out his wife to attack other candidates? Because confrontation makes him pee himself a little.

Rating: 2.9/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards favorite action movie? "Spice World".

Bonus Fact from Jim:
John Edwards is against mandatory helmet laws. Not because he's a libertarian, it's just that he can't stand helmet hair.

Bonus Fact from John of Johnalism:
John Edwards lost his job to the Snuggles Bear when Unilever opted to toughen the brand's image.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
When John Edwards was a child, not only did his mother never have to tell him to clean up his room, but he would tell his parents to clean theirs up.

Rating: 1.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn't understand why men flinch when they see a guy on TV take a shot to the groin.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
Contrary to popular belief, the movie "Hairspray" is NOT John Edward's biography.

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
For 6 months after the devastating loss in 2004, Elizabeth Edwards had to slip into an ARMY jacket and gruffly whisper “Genghis Khan” & “I served in Vietnam” over & over to get Lil’ Johnny in the mood.

Rating: 2.3/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgLast autumn, Elizabeth Edwards was nearly arrested for spousal abuse until it was discovered that John's numerous bruises really HAD been caused by falling leaves.

Bonus Fact from Pork & Beans:
As a trial lawyer, John Edwards would pace back and forth in front of the Jury droning on and on about talking to dead fetuses. This was when the phrase "Pussy Footin'" was coined.

Bonus Fact from Casper the Friendly Host:
John Edwards hates licking stamps for his scented correspondence. Not only is it so laborious, but the taste reminds him of Lance, and that was a summer fling he’s already cried too much over. (sigh)

Rating: 2.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards can completely relax on an ocean cruise vacation, knowing that - since he's weaker than either a woman OR a child - he'll be given the first seat on the lifeboat.

Rating: 1.9/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAfter hearing that "pink is the new black", John Edwards explained his lipstick & nail polish by saying it was "new goth".

Bonus Facts from Casper the Friendly Host:
When asked during last year’s Great American Smoke-Out if he had ever used the patch, a confused John Edwards replied "After I smoke one, I usually have to use a Tuck’s pad, not a patch."

Rating: 2.8/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 15, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:19 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThe most common word in the English language is "the". For John Edwards, it's "pedicure".

Bonus Facts from Jim:
John Edwards has every one of Michael Jackson's singles. Every. Single. One!

The constant characterization of him as an effete snob makes John Edwards so angry that he wants to scream and stamp his foot.

John Edwards does not mind being called a Metrosexual. He prefers that to what he used to be called: "pantywaist".

Rating: 1.9/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 14, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgGrunting, sweating, heavy breathing, rapid up & down motions - just John Edwards trying unsuccessfully to operate a click-top pen.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards created the youth organization "Edwards Scouts" for boys who like to wear skirts and sell cookies.

Rating: 2.4/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards taught Monica that cigar trick.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards loves his teddy bears, which is why - if you ask him "Ginger or Mary Ann?" - he'll answer "Skipper".

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
The first argument in John and Elizabeth Edwards's marriage occurred when Elizabeth used John's rouge before he was done with it. He'd already done his cheeks, but hadn't done his nipples yet.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThe documentary about John's presidential campaign will be titled "Edwards Sissyhands".

Rating: 1.9/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 09, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:45 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn't wear flannel shirts often, but when he does, they're usually knotted at the midriff.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 08, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgDuring a Celebrity Boxing match, John Edwards got his ass handed to him by a marshmallow peep.

Rating: 3.2/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's haircuts cost $400 because he has to buy enough carbon offsets to cancel out trucking in a sufficient supply of hairspray.
[collaborative hat tip: John of Johnalism]

Bonus Fact from AlanABQ:
Once long ago, a Monarch butterfly landed on John Edwards' arm & gave him such a severe sub-dermal hematoma, that for years he couldn't go frolicking through the daisies without being mortified by the sight of ANY butterfly.

Rating: 2.7/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen he got married, John Edwards suprised his parents by keeping his last name.

Rating: 2.3/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIn college, John Edwards went through a cross-dressing phase and was once caught by his roommate while trying on a pair of men's underwear.

Rating: 1.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards taught Senator Craig the "wide stance".

Rating: 2.4/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen John Edwards uses a laptop, his feet fall asleep and start to turn blue.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
September 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once dislocated his shoulder trying to pull apart string cheese.

Rating: 1.3/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 31, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards believes that "NFL" stands for "Nightly Fix of Lifetime".

Rating: 2.3/5 (17 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgStill on John Edwards's "unsolved mysteries" list - why is there always a line of guys facing the wall when he enters a men's restroom?

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards doesn't get what's funny about Animal House and Blazing Saddles.

Rating: 2.5/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards invented the "Eek! It's a spider!" dance.

Bonus Fact from Anonomouse Reader:
John Edwards had to stop using his Clapper because of the severe bruising he suffered from just using it one time.

Rating: 2.0/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards thinks it's weird that all his buddies' shirts button from the right.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
In an attempt to change the impression that he is effeminate, John Edwards has taken to ordering his Shirley Temple WITHOUT the cherry!

Bonus Fact from AlanABQ:
John Edwards really does read Playboy for the articles - but ONLY for the articles.

Rating: 2.5/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once spent three days tied to a chair after accidentally spraying himself with Silly String.

Rating: 2.5/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's first action if elected President? Installing an all-Streisand karaoke machine on Air Force One.

Bonus Facts from Matt:
John Edwards' turning point against corporations was when he narrowly lost out to a soft, anthropomorphic teddy bear for the the title of the "Snuggle Soft Dryer Sheet Mascot." "Edwards Soft" has since become the measure of just how soft someting can be -- making newborn kittens extremely jealous.

John Edwards lost his role to the Pillsbury Doughboy mostly due to the fact that he was unable to stop giggling uncontrollably when poked in the belly button.

If the US forewent spending 6 Million Dollars on rebuilding Lee Majors in 1974, invested half of it's government budget on R&D, and recruited the brightest minds from around the world, we STILL wouldn't have the technology or capability to create a bionic representation of the glamour and lusciousness of John Edwards' hair.

Rating: 2.3/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's cell phone ringtone? "It's Raining Men".

Bonus Facts from Anonomouse Reader:
John Edwards invented the Caboodles make-up organization case.

John Edwards has his own kitten factory, where cats are specially bred to be the softest in the world, and they have no paws at all to scratch him with. Shhh... don't let PETA find out.

John Edwards keeps his loose change in a jewlery box his Nana bought him. When you open it, there is a spinning ballerina.

Funniest thing about the ballerina is that he had his Jr. year prom dress replicated from it.

Rating: 2.0/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards invented cocaine so that he could stay up all night admiring himself in the mirror.

Bonus Facts from Jim:
John Edwards believes that the three biggest issues facing America today are: poverty, health care, and split ends.

A review of John Edwards's legal career proves that he can do what no other current candidate can do... embarrass lawyers.

Adult Bonus Facts containing references to anatomy that might make SarahK blush... over here.

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards cant resist jumping into the flame wars on the "Downy vs. Snuggle" message boards.

Rating: 2.6/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 08:10 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards SWEARS that there's no such thing as a "twist-off" bottlecap.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards sued his high school because he wasn't permitted to perform "The Good Ship Lollipop" in the annual talent show, although really he was just pissed that he wouldn't be able to wear his Shirley Temple costume.

Rating: 1.8/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:56 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards was once possessed by a demon and kept uncontrollably vomiting unicorns & rainbows.

Rating: 3.1/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:55 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards just can't stop thinking about what it'd be like to lick the sweat off of Bruce Willis's head.

Rating: 2.9/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:54 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgSequined fur coat, candelabra, Liberace CD's blaring - just another football Sunday at John Edwards's house.

Rating: 2.9/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (16)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgHalloween was invented by John Edwards so that he wouldn't ALWAYS have to wear something over his fairy princess costume.

Rating: 3.0/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThere isn't a hooker in the world who wouldn't sell her soul to have John Edwards's perfect, round little ass.

Bonus fact: Estimated street value of John Edwards's perfect, round little ass: $10,000.

Bonus bonus fact: 10 cartons of cigarettes in Attica.

Rating: 3.7/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 15, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards is actually a lesbian trapped in a lesbian's body.

Bonus Fact from Jim:
It takes John Edwards three times as long to shave as the average man. This isn't because his beard is heavier but because he has to also "hit the pits" and those areas around the knees and ankles can be so gosh darn tricky.

Bonus Fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards believes that there are two Americas: one where there are Islamofascists, Dick Cheney, and George W. Bush, and another one populated by fluffy bunnies, cuddly kittens, and darling lambs.

Rating: 2.5/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 14, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn't play jumprope, since there's no rope thin enough for him to jump over without tripping.

Bonus fact from Lethbridge & Stewart:
John Edwards sulked in a darkened room for three days when he heard Reese Witherspoon was the new face of Avon.

Rating: 1.5/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:56 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards started life as an orphan who was raised by wolves - pansy-ass, effeminate wolves.

Rating: 1.5/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIn high school, John Edwards was regularly beaten up and had his lunch money stolen by Napoleon Dynamite.

Bonus fact from Richard:
The Powerpuff Girls were originally the John Edwards Girls, until John's lawyer sued for defamation of character, claiming John would never be that violent.

Rating: 2.5/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIf John Edwards mistakenly walks into a women's locker room, nobody will say anything. Except maybe to offer him a fresh tampon.

Bonus Fact from John:
Angelina Jolie denies that she endorsed John Edwards for president, saying she would never support somebody prettier than she is.

Two Bonus Facts from Chris:
For John Edwards, the phrase 'haircut' has two meanings. One costs him hundreds at a salon. The other results in a trip to the ER to get stitches after touching a puppy that wasn't fluffy enough.

John Edwards failed his audition for the Little Rascals because his perfect, pretty hair just didn't look "rascally" enough. Said the director, "If we ever make 'Little Faggots', we'll call ya."

John Edwards' favorite Glade Scented Candle is 'Plain'. The other ones make him dizzy from the fumes.

Rating: 3.2/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once caused an entire Gay Pride Parade to stop in its tracks because everyone had to pause to silence the "pegged high" alarms on their gaydars when they went by him.

Bonus Fact from WSMS (lifted from the comments to this post because it tickled me so, and I wanted to share):
John Edwards is so delicate he has his wife crush up his Midol and feed it to him with a speculum.

Two Bonus Facts from Silicon Valley Jim:
The only person who lifts the toilet seat at John Edwards's house is the maid.

John Edwards is really disappointed that there won't be an official Halloween party in San Francisco's Castro District this year, because it means he'll have to think up another excuse to hang out there.

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 09, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards doesn't eat oatmeal for the same reason he doesn't eat marshmallows - too darn spicy!

Bonus Facts from Chris:
John Edwards is so soft because Fred Thompson 'tenderized' him.

Toilet paper engineers are working 'round the clock to create a product that is John Edwards soft.

John Edwards is taking notes from How Stella Got Her Groove Back for another run at office.

Rating: 2.5/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (14)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 08, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards uses an entire roll of toilet paper at once, since those perforations were obviously designed for Superman to tear.

Bonus facts from Anonomouse Reader:
John Edwards was breastfed... till he was 7.

John Edwards has to "go commando" when he wears white slacks, because his mom taught him that panty lines are undignified.

Rating: 1.8/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards's Indian name is "Hands Like Squaw".

Bonus fact from Silicon Valley Jim:
John Edwards's high-school classmates used to throw him fully-clothed into the shower in the boys' locker room, until they found out that he enjoyed it.

Bonus facts from Chris:
That famous Kim Carnes song was originally titled "Johnny Edwards Eyes".

When John Edwards gets that sad, puppy dog look, even Fred Thompson starts getting a little misty.

Rating: 1.9/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgWhen John Edwards asks you to pour him a double, it means he wants you to put TWO little umbrellas in it.

Rating: 1.3/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:04 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgIn John Edwards's hands, a satchel full of explosives would, technically, be called a "purse charge".

Rating: 2.5/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 11:31 AM

john edwards fabulous.jpgAfter John Edwards dies, Elton John will write a special version of "Candle in the Wind" for him.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 03, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgBest part about becoming President for John Edwards? Writing "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue" on his Cosmo subscription renewal card.

Rating: 3.1/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards does not brush his teeth because he knows that the plaque will just wrestle the toothbrush away from him and beat him up with it.

Rating: 2.2/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
August 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards became a complete gym rat after buying a membership at Curves.

Bonus facts from Silicon Valley Jim:
Now playing on John Edwards's video iPod - "I Enjoy Being a Girl".

After John Edwards graduated from law school in 1977, he was undecided as to his career path. He eventually chose to become a trial lawyer after he failed in his audition with the Village People.

Rating: 0.9/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 31, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:59 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgThose plants with the white, fuzzy nubs on the stems used to be called "Edwardswillows".

Rating: 3.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:58 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards was rejected for the lead role in The Wizard of Oz for "not being butch enough to play a convincing Dorothy".

Rating: 2.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards once tried to take candy from a baby. He spent the next month wearing oversized sunglasses and telling people he "walked into a door".

Rating: 1.9/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (13)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpgJohn Edwards does not fear the mafia, because he knows that if they ever put a hit out on him, he can just cry his way out of it.

Rating: 2.7/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

John Edwards envies the way Rosie O'Donnell simply oozes machismo.

Bonus fact via American Digest and Esquire magazine, John Edwards is:
edwards sexy woman.jpg

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:00 PM

john edwards fabulous.jpg During a recent bike ride with Lance Armstrong, John Edwards said, "the biggest problem is my butt hurts. Is that normal?".

Man, if I had a nickel for every time he's said that...

[Hat tip to Shimauma of Moonbunny's Comics for the link]

READER SURVEY: I'm thinking about including that little picture in the post title for these entries. Your opinion? Yes? No? Messes up the html too much? Put it in the body of the post? Just too darn creepy?

Let me know.

UPDATE: Apparently having it in the title screws up feed readers. So I made it a little larger and put it in the body of the post on the left side.

How's that?

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:17 PM

John Edwards ninja-like dexterity allows him to knit, crochet, and needlepoint simultaneously.

Rating: 1.6/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (18)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

It's not that John Edwards *isn't* afraid of the dark, it's just that he's even MORE afraid of night lights.

Bonus fact from Frank J.:
At Democratic debates, John Edwards always complains about Hillary leaving the toilet seat up.

Fabulous Fact Bonus Reader Challenge:
John Edwards - ballet... make the connection in the comments.

Rating: 2.6/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (37)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

When John Edwards plays golf, he wonders why his buddies always tee off from WAAAAAY back there.

Rating: 2.2/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (4)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

Despite his constant undermining of the war effort, John Edwards secretly wants the US to win the War on Terror because he thinks he's look awful in a burka.

Rating: 2.5/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 10:00 PM

John Edwards wishes he were Superman - mostly for the tights.

Bonus facts from reader Matt:

* John Edwards understands the Pet Shop Boys on a level that nobody else ever will.

* John Edwards is banned from the First Response Home Pregnancy Test factory because his mere presence turns all of the test sticks pink. Although it could be because Fred Thompson's mere presence actually impregnates the women.

* John Edwards believes in global warming because "Whew, is it getting hot in here or what? You boys wanna take them shirts off?"

* John Edwards uses the "No More Tears" shampoo but cries anyway. Not because it stings, but because he gets wistful at the thought of his hair losing its perfect form while he washes it.

* John Edwards fears Boy George really wants to hurt him.

Rating: 2.3/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (10)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 20, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

Since watching "Mrs. Doubtfire", John Edwards can't stop thinking about getting himself a "woman suit".

Let's hope he never watches "Silence of the Lambs".

Rating: 1.3/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 19, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

Before attending law school, John Edwards briefly considered becoming a gynecologist so that he could do self-exams.

Rating: 1.8/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 18, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:10 PM

During a debate, you will never see John Edwards pound the podium to emphasize a point lest he break a nail.

Rating: 2.4/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 17, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

John Edwards is hung like a horse... fly.

Rating: 2.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (12)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 16, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

John Edwards never uses the missionary position because he hates being on the bottom.

Rating: 3.0/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 15, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 02:57 PM

You can always count on John Edwards for sympathy and advice if you have that "not so fresh" feeling.

Rating: 2.6/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 14, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

John Edwards was kicked off "The Price is Right" for screaming at the merchandise models, "That's not how to gesture towards a prize! Do it like THIS, you graceless cow!".

Rating: 2.0/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (11)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 13, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

The phrase "useful as a screen door on a submarine" will eventually be replaced by "useful as John Edwards in a presidential race".

Bonus fact from reader Matt:
You know that antiperspirant that's strong enough for a man but pH balanced for a woman? It gave John Edwards second degree burns.

Bonus fact from reader Chris:
John Edwards gets erotic nightmares about Nintendo's Kirby.

Two bonus facts from reader Silicon Valley Jim:
The inventor of the My Little Pony toys got the idea after seeing John Edwards in a courtroom.

The $1,250 bill isn't just for John Edwards's haircut. It also includes his Brazilian wax.

Rating: 1.5/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 12, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

Until they met John Edwards, the Klingons had no word for "manicure".

Rating: 1.9/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 11, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:49 PM

John Edwards was the original model for the international "women's restroom" symbol.

[collaborative hat tip: reader Chris]



Bonus fact from reader Silicon Valley Jim:

When John Edwards was in high school, he would stay home and cry for a week every time he had a pimple.

Bonus bonus fact from me:

He still does.

Rating: 2.8/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 10, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:00 PM

John Edwards will not use cotton balls because they give him carpet burns.

[collaborative hat tip: reader Chris]

Rating: 2.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 09, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

Before entering politics, John was known as Edwards Spice.

Rating: 2.4/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 08, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

It's not true that John Edwards wouldn't hurt a fly, it's just that he couldn't.

Rating: 3.3/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 07, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

Some politicians inspire bi-partisanship. John Edwards inspires bi-curiosity.

Rating: 2.7/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 06, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

Every year for Lent, John Edwards forgos the pleasures of a woman's touch, with the obvious exception of when he bathes himself.

Bonus fact from reader Chris:
John Edwards was once treated in the emergency room after receiving a large gash in his hand from a jet puffed marshmallow.

Rating: 2.0/5 (4 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 05, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:05 PM

The holy grail of botany is to develop a rose whose petals have the dewy softness of John Edwards.

Bonus fact from reader Chris:
You know that thing that gorgeous women do in movies where they walk towards a diving board, drop the robe to show off a bikini, dive in, swim to the other side, then come out of the water and shake their hair - all in slow motion? Not to ruin it for you, but John Edwards invented that move.

Rating: 2.9/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 04, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

WARNING: To avoid being attacked by John Edwards, do not wear Tag Body Spray.

Rating: 2.1/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 03, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:24 PM

John Edwards has never understood what that stupid zipper on the front of his pants is for.

Rating: 2.4/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 02, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

Silk was invented to allow women to feel as soft and smooth as John Edwards.

Rating: 2.8/5 (12 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
July 01, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:54 PM

Sesame Street's Ernie traded in his rubber duckie for a squeaky plastic John Edwards.

Rating: 3.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (2)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 30, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:07 PM

Fuzzy puppies and fluffy kittens watch John Edwards playing presidential candidate and go "awwwww... how CUTE!"

Bonus fact from Reader Chris:

John Edwards watches M*A*S*H and thinks, "They should have cast ME as Corporal Klinger. I'd be much more believable!"

Bonus pic from Ron Rockstar (click to enlarge):

Rating: 2.1/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 29, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:06 PM

You can't judge a book by its cover or John Edwards by his CoverGirl.

Rating: 2.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (5)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 28, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:03 PM

If John Edwards were any less manly, Ann Coulter would've called him "those two faggots".

Rating: 1.8/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 27, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

All the sponges in John Edwards's house have rounded corners to prevent injuries, even though it doesn't always help.



Bonus fact submitted by reader Matt:

In the TV version of the Incredible Hulk, Lou Ferrigno played Bruce Banner's alter ego. In John Edwards's version, the Hulk is played by a slap-mad Richard Simmons.

Rating: 1.8/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
No, I *Didn't* Write This Headline for the Boston Globe
Posted by Harvey at 09:31 AM

"Elizabeth Edwards: 'Comfortable' with gay marriage"

Think she's referring to her marriage with John?

Rating: 2.2/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (9)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 26, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:10 PM

Although peacock feathers serve no functional evolutionary purpose, scientists theorize that the birds developed the aesthetically stunning plumage to allow them to compete against John Edwards.

Rating: 2.6/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (3)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 25, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:01 PM

If you play the song "I Feel Pretty" backwards and listen carefully, you can hear the sound of John Edwards preening.

Rating: 2.0/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 24, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 01:55 PM

A recent survey of bunnies show that most of them own a pair of John Edwards slippers.

Rating: 1.8/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (6)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 23, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:08 PM

Make up was invented in order to give women a fighting chance to defeat John Edwards in a beauty pageant.

Rating: 2.4/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (7)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 22, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:02 PM

When John Edwards's copy of Windows crashes, it displays a "Blue Screen of Hurt Feelings".

Rating: 1.6/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (8)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 21, 2007
Daily John Edwards Fabulous Fact
Posted by Harvey at 03:09 PM

If John Edwards went to prison, even Fred Thompson wouldn't be powerful enough to quell the riots over who would get to be his bunkmate.

Rating: 2.5/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (15)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
June 18, 2007
Fun Facts About John Edwards
Posted by Harvey at 11:43 AM

In the comments to this post, Ringmaster of The Secluded Circus said:

Harvey, you should do a daily John Edwards sissy fact to counter Frank's Fred Thompson fact!

Which is harder than it sounds

Thompson facts are entertaining because Fred is powerful enough to make the impossible happen

Sadly, this concept doesn't work in reverse.

When Edwards applies his super-wussy powers and makes... well, NOTHING happen, it's just not as entertaining.

Still, I enjoy a challenge, so I came up with a starter list about Edwards. After reading, you can help me decide if this project is worth pursuing:



* John Edwards rejected the campaign slogan "America's First Gay President" in favor of "America's First Woman President".

* In the original version of Snow White, the Evil Queen's mirror answered "John Edwards".

* The reason John Edwards' haircut cost $400? Renting the tungsten carbide tipped jackhammer to break through the hairspray.

* John Edwards uses a Year-at-a-Glance calendar so that he doesn't have to ask for help turning those heavy pages every month.

* John Edwards has no idea what the underside of a toilet seat looks like.

* John Edwards would lose a game of tic-tac-toe while playing x's and given a three-move head start, so as not to damage his opponent's self-esteem.

* John Edwards still carries the scar from where a dandelion seed once fell on him.

* John Edwards went swimming in the ocean and got beaten up by plankton.

* If John Edwards visited the Empire State Building, the island would soon become known as Girlhattan.

* A single drop of John Edwards' blood contains enough estrogen to reverse menopause.

* During a campaign stop at a school for the blind, John Edwards tried reading Braille for a photo-op and broke his finger.

* When John Edwards plays with a Ken doll, it's anatomically correct.

* The vacuum of space is not the absence of matter, it's the overflow from John Edwards' absence of manhood.

* The #1 Google return for a search for "John Edwards"? The Stayfree home page.

* John Edwards is the only person who actually looks MORE macho while riding a Segway.

* John Edwards once failed a high school math test because he hugged the buttons on his calculator instead of punching them.

* John Edwards hates the Easter Bunny because the eggs he leaves are never the same shade of pink as his lip gloss.

* All his papers are signed "Mister John Edwards" so that he can dot the "i" with a heart.

* Teddy bears can't sleep at night unless they're cuddling John Edwards.

* Surveys show that 70% of US children under the age of six believe in both Santa Claus and the Tooth Edwards.



So... daily feature or failed concept?

Rating: 2.2/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (44)
Email This | Add to del.icio.us | Digg this | StumbleUpon Toolbar Stumble It!
 

Buy IMAO T-Shirts


IMAO T-Shirts

The IMAO T-Shirt Babe
(winning picture) YOU BUY NEW SHIRTS NOW!!!
Yay! Books!





Capitalism
Archives
By Category
24
American Idol
Aqua-Adventures
Barackalypse Now
Best of IMAO 2002
Best of IMAO 2006
Bite-Sized Wisdom
Editorials
Election 2008
Filthy Lies
Frank Answers
Frank Discussions
Frank on Guns
Frank Reads the Bible
Frank the Artist
Fred Thompson Facts
Friday Cat-Blogging
Fun Trivia
Hellbender
Hellbender Take Two
Hillary Clinton Terrible Truths
Humor
I Hate Frank
If I Were President
ignis fatuous
IMAO Condensed
IMAO Exclusives
IMAO for the Non-Deaf
IMAO Reviews
IMAO Think Tank
In My World
In My World - Fan Fiction
John Edwards Fabulous Facts
Know Thy Enemy
lolterizt
Michael Moore
Mitt Romney Ads
News Round-Up
Newsish Fakery
No, McCain't
Our Military
Permalink Contest
Precision Guided Humor Assignments
Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul
Ronin Profiles
Ronin Thought of the Day
SarahK's TV stuff
Scary Evil Monkey
Simpsons Trivia
Songs & Poems
State of the Frank Report
Superego
Totally True Tidbits
WEsistance Is Facile
Why Me Laugh?
Yvonne's Ashes
By Month
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
March 1933