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WEsistance Is Facile Archives

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September 02, 2008
WEsistance Challenge: Operation WE Demand
Posted by Harvey at 11:20 AM

I declare Operation Rumor Has It a success.

Or at least fun.

Now it's time for:

OPERATION WE DEMAND

The Premise: This was inspired by the most offensively petulant display of childish foot-stamping and breath-holding ever produced by someone who wasn't 5 and standing in the checkout lane with one hand on a Snickers bar - this WEtard commercial [hat tip - DamnCat]:

Please note the irony of deriding smokestacks that emit no soot as not being "clean".

Anyway, if WE can get whatever WE want by simply wishing really hard while glaring peevishly into a camera, why stop with the merely-precluded-by-the-laws-of-physics desire for perpetual motion machines and decreasing entropy?

WE need to demand MORE!

Suggested format:

1) Brief mention of your love of WE.

2) Make some outrageous, yet only MARGINALLY insane (for a WEtard) demand. Try to walk the fine line between enthusiastic and demented, while leaning towards the vaguely plausible.

3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.

Feel free to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.

Sample letter:

Dear WE,

I ***LOVE*** your WE DEMAND commercial! Warming deniers really needed to see what kind of non-violent, non-verbal disapproval they're in for it they don't give us what we want!

But I thnk we need to demand more. And this one is brilliant because it's like judo because we pretend to give them what they want but we're really getting what WE want. I noticed in the video that there's no clouds of black smoke coming from the smokestacks. This might make people think that fosil fuels are CLEAN! So let's demand that that they remove smokestack scrubbers! The only way to make people see the damage we're doing to our fragile planet is to let the deniers SEE smokestacks belching thick clouds of ash, soot, and sulfury gasses like a man-made volcano.

Let's see them deny THAT!

By Any Means Necesary
Robert "Rainphish" Guevera

As before, you don't HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Rumor Has it, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there's nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.

After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your entry to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I'll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.

BONUS LINKS (as requested by slapout):
Hippie Chick Name Generator
Hippie Dude Name Generator

Rating: 1.7/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (5)
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September 01, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 6 (Final)
Posted by Harvey at 11:06 AM

The last of the Operation Rumor Has It letters for your reading pleasure.

New mission on Tuesday morning.



Dear WE, thanks for leading the war (can I say war is that to neocon?) on climate abuse. I would like to share my idea on how we can solve the growing climate crisis. I have a four slice toaster, but I only like one piece of toast in the morning. So what I do is cook four pieces at a time and I eat the rest during the week. Sure the toast may be cold going down my stomach, but the warmth in my heart knowing I am doing something productive makes it worth it. I have shared my idea with some of my "Rethuglican" associates (These are only associates, not my friends) and they claim that they like their toast hot. Typical "Repukelican" response don't ya think. There was one time however that I did have to cook an extra piece of toast one week. When I tell you why I am sure you will understand. One morning as I was about to eat my piece of cold toast I noticed an image on the toast that looked remarkably like the best Vice President of all time Al Gore. Certainly I could not eat that piece of toast. I have it framed now and it looking at it gives me inspiration. I hope my idea inspires you all.

Sincerely

Earth Lover



I'm so glad a group like yours is fighting the good fight aganst those who want to destroy this planet for their own profit. Speaking of which, I realised something today. The oil barons and the scum politicians in their pockets have fought every energy innovation for the last 100 years, and have even squashed a number of free energy technologies. So why, after all that, are they willing to investigate hydrogen technology? Of course anyone who perfects it will make a ton of money, but the same could be said for any of the other alternative power sources they've killed. And than it hit me. It's true that burning hydrogen is clean, as far as co2 and carcinogens go, and you don't have to drill or blast for it, and it's completely nontoxic. But that doesn't mean it doesn't make exhaust. It produces water vapor. But everyone thinks, hey, water vapor, that's harmless! This is wonderful! But think about this, water vapor is literally hundreds of times more powerful as a greenhouse gas than co2. And all of the hydrogen that is burned will become water vapor, while only a tiny fraction of gasoline becomes co2. So hydrogen technology will put hundreds of times more greenhouse gasses into the air, and that gas is hundreds of times more potent! That's why these earth killers like hydrogen! If everything that burns oil products right now is converted to burn hydrogen instead, it will make global warming thousands of times worse, thousands of times faster! And they have everyone fooled! Not to mention the fact that millions of extra tons of water in the air will cause unnaturally heavy rain and storms over populated areas. And those bastards know it! Because why would they support this and not support any of the other clean energy technologies that they could have made money from?


End mission. Recall all agents for new assignment.

Rating: 2.8/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (8)
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August 22, 2008
Bring Cluebat, Please
Posted by Harvey at 06:05 AM

Lead WEtard Cathy Zoi said the following in an email [Hat tip sgtryansmall]:

On the day Exxon announced its record profits, I testified before the U.S. Congress. I explained that there are no technical or material impediments to achieving the goal of 100% clean electricity within ten years. The only thing missing is political will.

Is the phrase "political will" more Hitlerian or Stalinesque, ya think?

Anyway, I'm inviting anyone who sees a "technical or material impediment" to her WEdiculous goal to mention said impediment in the comments.

Rating: 2.7/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (35)
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August 21, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 5
Posted by Harvey at 06:13 AM

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Congratulations, it is about time that people stop talking about the weather and finally getting around to doing something about it.

I have a few concern however that leaves me in kind of a quandary I have been watching the Olympics on TV and I think that it is great that it shows how wonderful the Communist system really is and how happy the people are being taken care of by the Chinese Government.. But I am a bit troubled by the Olympic Flame constantly burning and warming our precious planet. Another thing that worries me is that the Olympic Stadium looks like a giant birds nest. Don;t you thinks that birds seeing this may decide not to make their own nests? It would be tragic if future generations of birds do not have the inherent knowledge to make their own nests! Perhaps we could let the Chinese know that we thing they are great, but perhaps they could extinguish the flame now and tear down the stadium when the games are over.

Sincerely,

A Fellow Traveler



Hi, im new to this. I live in N.Calif. and lately I've believe we are being exposed toan enemy as lethal as the effects of carbon dioxiode. Static seems to be everywhere Wireless energy (i.e. internet, tv remote controls, garage door openers, cell phones, ATM or i guess elec. data transfers, etc) is not grounded like telephone lines and electricity. Common sense says when any one of those towers out there get overloaded, the signal will jump to the next available source like TV antennas on houses and even to the ore in our soil like iron that is so abundant.

Over the last few months others in my neighborhood have noticed that sound goes dead. I live 1 block off a major thrufare thru our town and every single day you can't even hear the traffic. I found out from a friend that use to work for the telephone co., that this vacuum of sound is caused by sound waves colliding with each other. It happens 20x a day or more. Wireless eneregy like any energy (i.e. sunlight, electricity) must also have magnetic and elec. fields. If the air is getting flooded with wireless energy then it must be flooded with magnetic energy. If this is so, then magnetic energy fields have just as much potential power to trap heat emissions as the vehicles that cause the emissions.

I don't know. It just seems like static energy is 100x more abundant here than I've ever noticed before. About 30% of the elec. poles in this town you can hear the buzzing and it only seems to be getting worse. Also their is talk around about hydraulic sewer systems releaseing negative ions. If true, then both wireless energy and the addition of negative ions have the ability to encompass a much more major role in effecting global warming then even most of us could imagine.

Im concerned. Wondering whether others have considered this potential problem in the effects of global warming.



I've read Mr. Gore's spectacular plan for becoming energy independent in 10 years. I've read his information on solar panels and think he's missed something really, really basic that would help a great deal. We need to pass a law making daylight savings time mandatory all year for everyone - no more special cases (DO YOU HEAR ME ARIZONA?). If you think about it, the extra hour of daylight we get from daylight savings time could mean mega-joules of electricity for everyone having solar panels on their house right now and in the future more people would want to take advantage of this free energy source by purchasing solar panels for their existing houses or if they built houses they would want to have the solar panels added to the house because of the extra free energy available all year round (except at night) and maybe even people like landlords would want to add solar panels to their apartment buildings so they could charge the same rent but make more money because of the free electricity they'd be getting and they could put in electric appliances for all of the tenants so they wouldn't be making all the carbon dioxide from using gas appliances or even malls could have solar panels and not be open at night when the solar panels don't work as well - not to mention the public schools who should be using solar panels and not wasting my tax dollars on the inefficiencies of lighting classrooms with carbon producing fossil fuels or even nuclear energy (now that makes me pig 'biten mad) - well you get the idea - and I got to say that a Nobel winner (that was a dynamite award by the way) like Mr. Gore should have thought about how to get extra daylight too.

Thanks,

Franki



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.4/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (5)
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August 20, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 4
Posted by Harvey at 05:38 AM

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Folks at WE,

The work you are doing to help save the environment is very noble!! Every time we see your commercial with the giant switch, my partner and I are overcome with emotion!!!

It is so important that you keep up with the good fight, which is why I am writing! You see, my therapist's cousin, who happens to work with someone who has a very reliable source in Washington, told me that the bush (who I call satan (lol), even though I don't believe in any of that stuff) administration is working to close down your website!!!!!! I'm not making this up!!! It seems as though they are working in the higher courts to pass a law that gives the president the power to 'quarantine' a website for up to 24 months on grounds of being a national security threat!! You guys need to fight this, because if they get this passed, well, imagine what a 2 year delay would mean to the survival of our planet!!!!!! Then where does it end?!?!? With the smashing of solar panels, and razing of windmills; Don Quixote-style?!??!! If you have lawyers, they need to get on this right away!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw an oil derrick the other day, I wept! Please help!!!, I'm running out of tears!

Alex Wilson, aka Distance
distance@happyhippie.com



THIS IS VERY IMPORTUNT! PLEASE READ!

(please bear with the phonetik spelling, it is essential so as not to be picked up by guvrnmint servalince software)

My name is Charlz Dyce (not my real name for reasons that will become cleer), and you must listen to me. It is vary important that you continue with your werk. The survival of our species and even our planet is at steak!

You see, I formerly worked for the guvrnmint at a sekrit facility in the Nevaduh dessert that I cannot disklose for fear of my lyfe and that of my parent-children home unit. (more sekrit than ay-ree-uh 49+2) The focus of our reeserch was on ekstra-terrestree-uls that have crashed visiting our plannut. Our reeserch has discovered that all (non-earth-rezidentz) require at least 1000 ppm of C-O-2 to servive. Therefore, it is imperitive that we keep our plannuts levels far below this, or we risk full-skayl-invayzhun! You must beleev me! The kurrint administration believes they can exploit any visitor's teknologee for militarie gane, so they are trying to raise the see-oh-too levels above 1 ppt. This would be catastrofik! I have to be brief each time. More explanation will follow. Don't reply to this email at this time.



CONGRATULATIONS!!!

FROM THE DESK OF THE United Kingdom DIRECTOR MICROSOFT PRIZE AWARD DEPT 2008.
Attn Lucky Winner,
WINNING NOTIFICATION FOR CATEGORY "A" WINNER ONLY

We are pleased to inform you of the result of the last final annual
draw of our Lottery MICROSOFT Programs.

The online cyber lotto draws was conducted from an exclusive list of
82,000,000 e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked
by an advanced automated random computer search from the internet. No
tickets were sold.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail address emerged as a
winner in the category "A" with the following numbers attached Ref
Number: ANA 6611 SX10001,Batch Number: 77586858577/5NL/2006 and Ticket
Number:555673577 /870701 You are therefore to receive a cash prize of
£1,500,000.00(One Million Five Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pound
Sterlings) from the total payout.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!. Your prize award has been insured with your e-mail
address and will be transferred to you upon meeting our requirements,
statutory obligations, verifications, validations and satisfactory
report.

To file in for the processing of your prize winnings, you are advised
to contact our Certified and Accredited claims agent for category "A"
winners:

**********************************************
Name: Walter Bill
Email:agent_bill@ymail.com
Email:micro_agent@ymail.com
Tel: + 44 750 1854455
Fax: +44 750 1854455
Address: 32 Watford way, hill
Nw7 2pt London, UK.
*********************************************

You are advice to provide him with the following information:
1. FULL NAMES OF BENEFICIARY:
2. RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS:
3. DATE AND PLACE OF BIRTH:
4. PHONE/FAX NUMBERS:
5. NAME AND ADDRESS OF NEXT OF KIN:
6. SEX:
7. OCCUPATION:
8. MARITAL STATUS:
9. NATIONALITY:
10. Your Reference and Batch number:
11. AMOUNT WON:
NOTE: All winnings must be claimed not later than 14 days, thereafter
unclaimed funds would be included in the next stake. Remember to quote
your reference information in all correspondence.

You are to keep all lotto information confidential, especially your
reference and ticket numbers. (This is important as a case of double
claims will not be entertained).

Members of the affiliate agencies are automatically not allowed to
participate in this program.
Furthermore, should there be any change of address do inform our agent
as soon as possible.

Congratulations once more from our members of staff and thank you for
being part of our promotional program.

Yours Faithfully,
Mike Johnson.
Lottery Coordinator.



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 1.8/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (6)
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August 19, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 3
Posted by Harvey at 05:25 AM

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear Matt, Laura, Melissa, Cathy Zoi, and the rest of the online team of WEsistance fighters and support staff!!!

WE has changed my life and thank you for making this website where I can join in and be a part of GW (global warming) and fighting for our environment!! As one of my "favorites" saved on my computer you are an invaluable asset in this growing campain.

I must warn you of another vicious lie of the GW (Bush) smear machine. In talking with a learned freind (Larry Shitera) about your WE store not having any t-shirt sizes larger than XL and how that might be veiwed as discriminatory aganst the overwieght, he alerted me as to a rumor that the environmental movement was becoming corrupted by a new philosophy called "sizist philosophy" that adheres to the belief that fat people should be actively ignored because of there negative environmental impact due to there size. Well I googled sizist philosophy and found a website called www.sizism.org that explains this in detail and i quote "The environmental movement is naturally opposed to the overweight, and what we mean by "naturally opposed" is that the larger the person, the more gas emissions are released into the atmosphere therefore damaging the ozone and our fragile third planet. Larger people also cause automobiles and other forms of transportation to work harder in order to move their grossly obese bodies due to their extra load bearing capacity; therefore, consuming more than their fair share of the earth's fuel supply." Unquote.

Please help me combat this smear that WE are sizists that porposefully discriminate against larger people due to the "natural" damages larger people cause and there overabundant consumption of our natural and artificial resources.

O! O! O! O in 08!!!!

Thanks to you and write me back!!!
Barry Love



EVEN THOUGH YOUR WEBSITE GRAPHICS ARE DOMINATED BY PLEASANT LOOKING WHITE PEOPLE IN THEIR BANANA REPUBLIC KHAKIS AND A FAKE SMILE PLASTERED ON THEIR AIRBRUSHED FACES (WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF A REAL WOMAN? DO I INTIMIDATE YOU?!), YOUR SITE IS A VALUABLE ASSET IN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE ENVIRONMENTAL RAPE OF OUR COUNTRYSIDE BY THE REPUBLICAN-BIG OIL-BUSH REGIME, SO FOR THAT I THANK YOU, ALBEIT WARILY.

I CANNOT SIT IDLY BY WHILE YOUR CAMPAIGN IS BEING ATTACKED BY THE REPUBLICAN PROPAGANDA MACHINE. AS I WRITE THIS, ATROCIOUS AND HIDEOUS LIES ARE BEING CIRCULATED BY A MEDIA AND CYBERMEDIA APPARATUS CONTROLLED BY RIGHT WING GANGSTERS AND THUGS. HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SUCH SHEEP THAT THEY DO NOT SEE THAT THEIR EVERY THOUGHT AND DEED IS MANIPULATED BY NEWT GINGRICH AND HIS CRONIES??!! AS IF THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T RIGHTFULLY SNEER AT US FOR THE SAVAGE, INHUMAN HYPOCRITES THAT WE ARE!! GITMO ISN'T JUST IN CUBA, FOLKS, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT'S RIGHT HERE IN OUR BACK YARDS.

!@65K4=4,,6U *^%JO8AZ (THAT WAS ME BANGING MY FISTS AGAINST THE KEYBOARD)

WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!

JENEANE GARAFALO
LIBBERGIRL42@gmail.com



Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. IT's about time someone tried to rid us of fosul fuels. I can help. There was this guy, Edward Teller, he built the hydrogen bomb and accidentally solved our problem. He used one once to show how it could force unreachable natural gas deposits to the surface--but the stuff was too radiocative to use. That's it----all we do is irradiate the ooil fields. NO MORE OIL FOR BLOOD!!! We make it unusable and we'll have to switch to the hydrogen technology the government has been keeping from us to keep the oligarks in power. TAKE THEM DOWN.
Kepp on truckin'
Corduroy Jones


Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.1/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (4)
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August 18, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 2
Posted by Harvey at 06:03 AM

Some Operation Rumor Has It suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Fellow WEezers:

First off, I want to encourage you to keep the faith! WE all know that Chimpy McBushitler and Darth Rove have long been conspring to RAPE our beautiful planet with their phallic oil drills. Well, the time is nigh for our movement. If WE don't do something immidiotly, Gaia will perish as surely as those poor baby harp seals that were found clubbed to death on the outskirts of Crawford, Txas.

Unfortunaterlly, WE don't have the manpower or spines to fight a full-on resistance. But, if there's one thing I learned from countless hours playing Red Faction, it's that you can OVERCOME anything with the right application of rediculous amounts of explosives and bullets. However, being a peace-luvving tree dweller, I cannot openly countenance the death of my fellow amerikkkans.

As the rumor goes, Chimpy and his familiars have Global Warmening fallout shelters. WE must find these lairs and wipe them out!!! All their base are belong to us!!! We must find a way to DESTROY the FASCIST PIGS and save the Earth!!! I can hear Mother Gaia, "Help me, oWE-wan-Kenobi...your my ownly hope."

B3fore it's too late,

Mirakel Bono



I think you are doing wonderfull work. To many people don't understand that this earth needs to be protcted.

My suggestion has to do with carbonated beverages. I think they should be outlawed. How much Co2 is excaping every day from people drinking carbonated bevrages? Everyone knows they arn't good for you and can rot your teeth or make kids hyper and loud. People can drink fruit juices or water which are much better. I hope you consider my idea. Thanks for your parcipation.


Dear We,
Im just so happy about this websight and it's fabulous ideas!!! I mean it's just so... like amazing!!! OMG the last time i like saw a website this awesome was when LOGO started theirs!!! But there is one thing I am absolutely horrified to here!!!! Did you know the ignorant right wing crazie people have actually said that John Edwards is STRAIGHT!!!! OMG like WTF, we have always known he was gay, but those ignorant liars are trying to make him seem heterosexual!!!!11 You should stop putting alll your resources into helping the planet for a little while, and try to convince the world that the gay icon, really is a flamer!!! Without him I... wait no WE would be nothing!!1 PLEASE HELP

Love you all, in more ways than one,
Elton (Rainboy) Mercury



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.3/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (5)
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August 15, 2008
Operation Rumor Has It - Part 1
Posted by Harvey at 06:02 AM

Some Operation Rumor Has It paranoia for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear WE:

Thanks again for all your great work in fighting to return the planet back to the right temperature. I could not find on your Interweb site what the right temperature was, but the skiing in Tahoe was awesome in 1982 so you should use that as a benchmark if nobody has a better one.

I'm concerned now that all of our work to save mother Gaia (PBUH) may be for not, since the Chimpys Haliburton croneys are doing an end-run around our efforts by spraying the atmosphere with chemical trails. I have been reading alot about these "chemtrails", and the evidence seems conclusive.

The chemtrail sprays have various elements in them like CARBON which can used to absorb microwaves. Some of these sprays have metal flakes in them that make aerial craft invisible to radar. I think it's obvoius whats' going on here - instead of doing what Gaia wants and reducing our carbons, the Bush/Cheney axis of evils is spraying Big Oil CARBON into the air as a cloaking device for their surveylance helicopters.

This should be our FIRST PRIORITY. I know that I've heard their BLACK HELICOPTERS watching me in the shower, now I know what they were invisible - CARBON CHEMTRAILS. Now that the science is settled, IT'S TIME TO ACT!!!

Vote Walken 2008,
Percy Dovetonsils



Doods - seriously AAAWESOME site!!! I cannot thank you dudes enough for taknig action and eliminating carbon from our everyda lifes.

I read somewhere (sorry I dont remember where I read it - I went to a KICKING party saterday night and google has scrubbed their serch results) that BArack Obama was not able to be president bcz where he was born, in hawaii, is now underwater bcz of the oceans rising bcz of global warming. This means he was not born in the united states and so cant be president!!!!!

Please tell me this is NOT true! If it is true, is there anyway we can like pass a law that says He can be president? or can we just make that news storey so that the reporters cant tell everybody about it? I hope this is just a lie by george bush but if it isnt, we HAVE TO STOP IT from keeping Barack Obama from being president!!!!!!!

Jacob Hussein McCandles
Change We Can Beleive In



Dear WE,

You guys are doing such a great job, everyone around me can't stop talking about how great we is! That is why you need to do something about Matthew Vadum!

I keep reading articuls on the internet that this guy wrote . Just because he won an award for outstanding journalism doesn't mean he has the write to accuse Al Gore (or as I like to call him, Allah) of promoting GW just to make a profit! He says Al has a company selling carbon credits, is this true? This guys says Al is just making a market for his credits!

We needs to go get this guy and sit him on the couch with Al Sharptun and talk some sense into him! I will not sit ideally by and listen to this stupid stupid man berate you're glorious cause!

From the land of sky blue waters,
Tommy "ecoman" Boggins



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Rumor Has It rumor to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.2/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (8)
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August 11, 2008
WEsistance Challenge: Operation Rumor Has It
Posted by Harvey at 10:02 AM

I declare Operation Needs More PC a success.

Or at least fun.

Now it's time for:

OPERATION RUMOR HAS IT

The Premise: Inspired by Obama's Fight the Smears site, you've noticed that the Vast Right Wing Smear Machine aka the Right Wing Media aka every news outlet except NPR (and you're starting to wonder about THEM, too) is spreading some unconscionable lie about Environmentalism in general or its proponents in particular, and it's time for WE to fight back!

Suggested format:

1) Brief mention of your love of WE.

2) Mention some crazy rumor that you've heard (feel free to cite sources or include a link if you're not just completely making it up) and insist that WE start diverting all available resources to fighting this grave assault on the TRUTH! As always, try to keep it under 200 words to encourage folks to pass it around.

3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.

Feel free to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.

Sample letter:

Dear WE,

I'm so grateful that WE is (are?) finally out there spreading the TRUTH about global warmming! But it saddens me that you won't respond directly to the rightwing fasists and deniers out there spreading their LIES!

ABC news claims that Al Gore's utility bill is 30000 dollars a year which is just a LIE! I know for a FACT that Al Gore does eveything he can to keep his carbon footprint smaller than a bronze baby bootie! Is it his fault that the theives in Big Oil are overchaging him for his electricty? I KNOW he doesn't use any more than anyone else, and a LOT less than those who are getting RICH off $4 a gallon gas.

I think you should have a page to FIGHT THE SMEARS! Just like Obama.

SCREAM truth to power!
Autumn Ariel Juspeczyk

As before, you don't HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Rumor Has it, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there's nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.

After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your entry to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I'll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.

BONUS LINKS (as requested by slapout):
Hippie Chick Name Generator
Hippie Dude Name Generator

Rating: 2.7/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (2)
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Operation Needs More PC - Part 9 (Final)
Posted by Harvey at 06:01 AM

The last of the Operation Needs More PC letters for your reading pleasure.

New Mission later this morning.



[The ever-annoying Cathy Zoi of WE asked this man for money - Ed.]

Dear Cathy,
Thank you sooooo much for contacting me about this exciting new website that makes such a difference as to saving our planet from GW and getting the word out about awareness of these issues, I have WE save on my favorites because I want to be a part of this exciting campain so that WE can STOP GW NOW!!!

A couple of weeks ago I sent in an issue/request/suggestion about your website, can you tell me if there has been any progress made on the issue/request/suggestion I brought up? Because I know it would go a long way to making your website more welcoming to a large amount of people than you are experiencing now. In case that e-mail was not passed to you, here it is in it's intirety:
*****************
Hi WE!

Awesome site, I have u on my favorites on my computer because I know u make a DIFFERENCE in reducing gw NOW and I want to be a part of it!!

Question: you may want to rethink your t-shirts selection in your WE store, in that you only offer sizes up to XL and this may exclude some of our heavier members who would find these sizes too snug, but still want to show there support for the WE movement but may be offended by this ommission. In order to be sensitive to these larger people we should offer greater sizes. I myself know some people that would be interested in showing support for WE but would be uncomfortable in those tight shirts due to there size.

Please adress this situation in the name of fairness.
Thanks! Ö'in 08!
Barry Love
*****************
As you can see, this is an important consideration for your website because if we discriminate against heavy people then it sets a bad example in that where do you draw the line in whom you discriminate against, and there should be no discrimination especially from this website? As of the last time I went to the WE website there has been no change on this issue. Please respond as soon as you can and let me know the plans for correcting this injustice.

Thanks again, and here's to the WEvolution!

Barry Love



This has got to be one of the more well done political satire sites I've ever come across. The farcical solutions to nonexistent climate emergencies, the bogus "feel good" success stories, the usual celebrity endorsements, the dire consequences of inaction scare tactics. You've tickled all the g-spots of the "touchy, feely, not much thinky" crowd. Identifying that "carbon sasquatch", Al Gore as the guiding force of this endeavor is the cherry on the sundae. It's like naming Brittany Spears as the new babysitter. I actually think that the well meaning fools who believe in this garbage could come away from this site with the realization that we can't conserve or renew our way out of energy dependence without drilling, refining and coal mining also.

Herpules



End mission. Recall all agents for new assignment.

Rating: 2.0/5 (14 votes cast)

Comments (1)
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August 03, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 8
Posted by Harvey at 09:42 PM

Operation Needs More PC - Part 8

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Rock on WE,

You guys are finally realizing the need to do something about warming up the earth. Welcome aboard.

I think we should shoot for about 3-4 degrees more and then stop. No? This will shorten the winters dramatically and help provide a longer growing season. I think this is more viable than using grow lamps.

My Ideal is to smooth out the differences between winter and summer buy using a buffer. Something that would absorb CO2 in the summer and release it in the winter. What would be better than hemp?? We plant a crop of hemp in the spring let it absorb all the C02 in the summer and then over the cooler months we burn it to release the CO2 and warm things back up.

One small complaint however, no one on your website appears to be wearing any hemp clothing. I could go on for hours about its nobility and versatility in making our sojourn at one with the earth. A hemp vest or fanny pack would look smart and socially conscious on any one of your spokespersons. Think about it.

Green not Mean
Noel Laureate
Hemp for Tomorrow, Institute and CO-OP



Dear WE,

Frist off, I luv your site!!!! I think WE all sould be more carefull of protecting Gaia, or prescious mother earth.

The only problem i see is that you have all blond womyn on your site. The only burnet i saw was a fat guy. I find it ofensive that you aren't more diverse with womyn as gaia is a womyn. Lets not tick her off as she might spray us with lava.

My suggestion for helping our wonderfol planet is thus: A lot of people go to disney and six flags on a daily basis. I think we need to petition disney to up their ticket prices to offset theircarbon footprints from running all the electricity. There shuld also be extra charge for children because screaming producs more methane wich makes more warm air and make our mother warmer.

blessed be,
Dolphina Smith



I get all fluttery thinking about the wunderful things you are doing for climate change.

I really want to help bring climate change a reality. I'm tired of living through four different seasons a year. Going from the perfect mild weather into the blistering heat takes a toll on the planet with all our conditioned air. Then from there, there's a slight change back to perfect, then it pummels down into not only into freezing temperatures, but below freezing temperatures. It kills alll the living green things. Then there's that leftover stuff from the ice age know as snow. It killed the dinasaurs, didn't it? Please let me know what I can do do to make this a reality. When then can we work on getting sunlight for 24 hours a day? Then solar power can WORK!



WE, I recently can across your site, and absolutely love it! I'm a huge fan of satire, especially political satire. At first I wasn't sure if you guys were being serious or not, but the more I examined the site, the more I became convinced you are merely poking fun at the greeny global-warming scaremongers. I mean, some of the stuff on your site is pure gold! How do you come up with it?!?!

So, I've started pointing some of my moronic liberal co-workers onto the site, and you should see them trying to do some of the stuff you guys 'suggest' for 'saving the planet' (lol). One of the guys even rode his bike to work yesterday! 10 miles! In 95 degree heat! In the famous words of Bugs Bunny: "What a maroon." These morons will do anything to feel better about themselves, as if they're making a difference. Or as if there was any reason to try and make a difference.

Now, I do have one concern... I see you have some quotes and videos from famous people. Aren't you afraid they might sue you for making fun of them on your site? Especially algore! Don't forget how he tried to sue his way into the presidency in 2000! Maybe you've already thought of this, but if not, beware, liberals can't take a joke.

Anyway, keep up the good work.
Together 'WE' can keep the libs in a tailspin.
T.N. Amaps



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.0/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (8)
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July 30, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 6
Posted by Harvey at 05:32 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



I want to first say what a tremendously fine job all of you at WE are doing to solve the global warming crisis. We surely need the whole world to take action now before it's too late.

I take a minor issue with the wording in a recent post about the negative effects of climate change on Africa, wherein the Africans are referred to as "inhabitants" of that continent. This particular word choice has an unfortunate connotation of the colonialist/imperialist eras of the past and implies a similar disdain for the African peoples, whereas a word like "residents",or "citizens" would put them on the same level of concern that we've evolved to since that dreadful time. I would hope that out of respect for the humanity of the African peoples as well as those whose ancestry is on that fine continent that you would choose your words a bit more carefully in the future.

Power to the people



Alcon,

Praise Gaia. I am so grateful that there is an organisation dedicated to ridding the werld of evil Rethuglicans. Why they dont' care that polar bears dye, ocean levels rose 20 foot, or we are going to run out of oxygen in 10 years is beyond my ability to think.

My concern is the method you fine warriors, oops that sounds two militaristic, you fine acoloytes are persueing to enlighent the werld. As wonderfel as the internet is, it must me a huge energy sink. All the computers surfing the web and running servers must use a lot of energy. I think Google has a hole town of computers, but they are powered by hydroelectric power. Of course, Google does no evil. We can't be sure everyone else is using non-carbon based energy. Don't worry about me thogh. I'm peddaling a bycycle to power my 486 (lower power consumption).

Therefore, my suggestion is to move away from the web. You need to set up a group of zen practsioners to broadcast calming thoughts around the world. They should be able to reach people. That way this wonderfel project is not a net drain on the planet. After all, We are trying to save it.

Gaia's blessings upon you,



Dear Sir or Madam:

My 12-year-old son has been hammering me for some time for a "We" electronic gaming system. Being in the charter airline business, you can imagine I don't have a lot of time to do internet research, or to sit and watch TV where my son says he saw an ad for the "We".

As many of my clients recently seem to environmental lobbyists and politicians, I was amused to see the entertaining climate-crisis theme of your website, where I went, thinking that it was a storefront for the gaming system. I can tell you that if there truly is a climate crisis, it isn't being discussed on flights that I work. It seems that most of the conversations I overhear have mostly to do with fundraising and party-planning, so I am not certain whether to take the theme of your site as 'tongue-in-cheek'. Anyway, I found your site amusing.

So, good luck with your parody, and if anybody has heard of that "We" game system, could you please put a link to the manufacturer on your site somewhere for others who might be confused?

Thanks, and Aim High!

Jett Darling
Captain
Clear Air Charter Airlines
Richmond



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.3/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (4)
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July 29, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 5
Posted by Harvey at 06:08 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



First a little visual from Doug




Hello, WE!
First, thank you for the fantastic job you're doing for the environment! It's about time somebody stood up for Our Blessed Mother Earth.

Though I am truly excited to be a part of this campaign, I do have to take issue with your t-shirt store. Though I do not believe the WE staff are intrinsically misogynistic, as a male feminist, I view the portrayal of the female in a "pure," "soft" white shirt and the male in a "strong" black shirt as symptomatic of a testosterone-dominated society. To be sure, this sort of symbolism is so rampant and ingrained that it's become almost unnoticeable -- and it's certainly the norm -- but, along with protecting the environment, don't "WE" also have the opportunity to begin to change the askew, male-dominated social outlook?

Hillary '08
Proud PUMA Voter
Stephen "Huggybear" Stevens



Dear WE,

It fills me with great joy to see so many people working to help the environment and solve the crisis of global warming! I visit the site every day, and I've even shown it to some of my friends so they can understand how important it is for all of us to act before it is too late for our dear Mother Earth.

That being said, however, I was concerned about some of the language used on the site, in particular the phrase, "stand up for solutions to global warming" under the heading of Personal Choices. Now, I totally understand that this is a commonly used phrase, but it makes me think of all those unfortunate souls in our world who are unable to stand or walk because they are confined to a wheelchair. My own sister was involved in a tragic accident many years ago while she was riding her horse, Starshine, and she was paralyzed from the waiste down. Every time someone mentions "standing up" for a cause, I can't help but feel hurt and offended by these words, and I'm sure that others out there feel the same. If you could please change the phrase to something more inclusive so that people who cannot stand do not feel like they are unable to assist in the effort to save Mother Earth, we would very much appreciate it.

Ride the wave of Peace through the ocean of Love

Indigo Skye



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.5/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (3)
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July 27, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 4
Posted by Harvey at 06:16 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Hi WE!

Awesome site, i have u on my FAVORITES on my computer because i know u make a DIFFERENCE in reducing gw NOW and i want to be a part of it!!

Question: you may want to re-think your t-shirts selection in your WE store, in that you only offer sizes up to XL and this may exclude some of our heavier members who would find these sizes too snug, but still want to show there support for the WE movement but may be offended by this ommission. In order to be sensitive to these larger people we should offer greater sizes. I myself know some people that would be interested in showing support for WE but would be uncomfortable in those tight shirts due to there size.

Please adress this situation in the name of fairness.

Thanks! Ó in 08!!

Barry Love



Dear We,
I've been visiting your fine organization's website for some time now. With every visit I learn more about the Global Climate Crisis, the means to resolve it and the clever techniques your operation uses to shape public opinion and gain influence over public policy. I find it Very Interesting. By uniting all the little twigs of personal concern into one Mighty Bundle wielded by a strong and Fearless Leader your struggle will come to a Historically Inevitable Victory!
I have just one suggestion for your consideration. The unfortunate tendency of some of your supporters to invoke the mythological figure of "Gaia" is offensive. The wall of seperation between those obsessed with superstitious fantasies and the Will of the Leader must not be breached lest it weaken our resolve and cause division within our forces. The Superior Human does not need the blessing or guidance of any 'diety' to reach his self-determined destiny!
Please consider means to achieve a final solution to this disruptive element within our National and Social party. I'm sure a concentrated effort will bring them into our camp!
Sincerely,
Toppo Daphoudchane
Humans for Eugenic Hygiene


Hello! Me again.
I'm so greatful to be a part of this campain to save are enviroment. But, as I was going through the website for, like, the hundreth time, I started noticing that all the people represented on the site are white. Al Gore is white. The couple of womyn represented are white. The guys are white. Not only that, but all Western, and they seem to all be strait.

Where are those of middle eastern desent? African Americans? Homosexuals? Their seem to be no practising muslims or jews. And I know hindus care about earth also. Why isn't their anyone with a red dot on there forehead?

Thanks for looking into this, and keep up the otherwise good work.

Hope and Change in 08!
Ray Saint



I have a problem with WE. Now don't get me wrong, WE simply MUST solve the climate crisis and I am 100% sure that WE can, but I am having trouble signing up more members because of a few design flaws.

1. A lot of my friends are hearing impaired and they cannot hear the video when people go to the homepage. How am I supposed to raise awareness with people who are hearing impaired when the homepage is basically useless to them? Is there an alternate version of the site for the hearing impaired?

2. I also don't see anywhere about who is hosting the site. Are they using 100% renewable energy? Has the hosting company purchased carbon offsets for the enormous amount of electricity consumed by hosting this site?

3. I'm also running into quite a bit of trouble with the lack of diversity regardign the models on the site - not a single African or Latino American. It's really hurting my recruitment efforts with disadvantaged people.

4. My last problem is more of a suggestion, really. Why aren't any celebrities endorsing WE besides Al Gore? What is WE doing that is offending Sean Penn or Danny Glover? If WE isn't green enough for Whoopie Goldburg, a lot of my friends say it isn't green enough for them. What contacts do you have with some of the rich and famous we need to recruit?

Thanks for your time and I look forward to your response.

Sunshine Campbell
"The Earth needs a friend - are you available?"



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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 1.9/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (3)
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July 25, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 3
Posted by Harvey at 05:58 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear WE, You guys rock.

At first I didn’t get your logo, what a weird W I thought. But now I totally get it, it is me upside down with my feet in the air for the W. We=Me upside down. I think it is saying even I could become chimpy McBush if I got upside down on myself.

I do however have a small issue with WE. I have never thought of myself as a very large person, but I cant get a Teeshirt in my size on the website WE Store. It sez “They run a bit small, so you may want to order one size larger than you normally would.” That means the largest size available is really just a large.

I don’t think of myself as very big but I would normally order a 2x, so the site would suggest getting a 3x. DO YOU EVEN WANT NORMAL SIZED PEOPLE TO WEAR THE SHIRTS OR NOT??? MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET A SMALL AND WEAR IT AS A HAT??? Sorry I get worked up when I think that ample Americans are unwelcome in the We store. After all it is not WE if it is not all of US.

William "snuggles" Perry



Dear WE,

First let me thank you for all you do. It's great that Mr. Gore is still able to use his leadership abilities for the benefit of us all. I think WE really is doing a great job.

Second, as a Dyslexic-American, I feel I must draw you attention to a problem with your logo. Backward letters are a device commonly used by bigoted Dyslexiphobes to mock and humiliate us and deny our rights. WE can make a pro-dyslexia statement and support our dyslexic families by changing the logo to something less demeaning. For resources on Dyslexia awareness and a Dyslexia style guide please consult the International Dyslexia Association's website at www.interdys.org.

God bless the whole world, no exceptions,
Daneil



Dear Friends of Earth,

Thank god someone finally is steppping up to take on the evil hippocrites destryoing our beuatuful EARTH.

I realize WE's goal is to become more greener, however I believe WE's logo may be unaccepatble to some people. In primitive amazonian cultures a green circle is a sign of agression, and therefore some poeple of the Aamazonian persuasion my take offense. Even though they don't have an internet, WE still should not sacrifce the dignity of those earth-loving people.

Keep up the good work, but try to be more inclusive of EVERY people.
Very respectfully green,
Phillipe Nightglow



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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.3/5 (9 votes cast)

Comments (10)
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July 23, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 2
Posted by Harvey at 06:49 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



First, this pic from savethepenguins is too good to let languish as a link in the comments (and if you haven't read the first comment at that link, you're SERIOUSLY missing out):

wetards we know.jpg


Dear WE,
I am very excited about your organization and have invited many of my friends in Berkley to join. We know that it is up to us to save our planet. Unfortunately, most people are not as enlightened as us.

I do however have a problems with your site. Although it is really beautiful, I see that you have not included the site in Spanish.

I wanted to show it to my maid, Lupita and my gardener Manuel, so they could learn how to be more green. Manuel insists on using a gas powed mower and pesticides. The lawn is a quarter acre and I know a push mower would be so good for the enviroment. Lupita refuses to use vinegar to clean the bathroom (She shakes her head and plugs her nose) I just know if they could understand the importance of thier actions, they would change thier habits.

Although you are doing such a good thing, you really dropped the ball not including the site in Spanish. If we are to give Mexicans amnesty, then we need to make sure they don't harm our enviroment.

Ok, the pilot says I must turn off the computer for take off. Husband and I are flying the jet down to Malibu for the weekend! The beachhouse always makes me feel extra green!

Thank you for you work.....please fix the Spanish!

Airianna Robbins-Moore


To whom it concerns,
I love this effort. It is obviously a serious atempt to save our planet from the ravages of humans. I do have one issue with you guys though, as I browse your site, I notice that it looks like you are trying to create a green world because perhaps you are afraid of a black world. Seriously, like 10 out of 10 spokespeople on your pages are white middle age people. You guys need to work on this. Your lack of divercity really takes away from the strength of your massage.
Thanks.
Bush Lied, kids dided!
Pat "Light Bearer" Hughes


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Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's offensive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.2/5 (11 votes cast)

Comments (7)
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July 22, 2008
Operation Needs More PC - Part 1
Posted by Harvey at 05:58 AM

Some Operation Needs More PC suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Wow! Finally a moveent that I can get on board with. I love the way that you have taken the FACTS of Global Warming and put them in one location. Keep up the GREAT work!

I do have a concern about our logo. It may be working against our cause. I'm afraid that it may be offensive to other nursing mothers, the same as it was to me. Producing milk for young is a service provided by all femail mammals and it should not be mocked in our logo.

I realize this was PROBABLY not on purpose. BUt I asked a friend and she saw the exact same thing I did. Her boyfriend saw it too. Becauise of this one issue they refused to join WE. (I was hoping they might start recycling)

The form of a nursing mother is not a beautirful thing and its shameful to portray her as having utters. Nursing mothers are not the "cows of people" WE are people.
I don't know how big a deal it is to change a logo... maybe just show it less on the site?? Or just put points on the "W" (like this one)

Hope this is helpful and shows Even Nursing mothers they can be part of the solution.

Naturally yours,
pieceweaver



Dear WE,

I love this site. It’s so Great to have a site that’s my one stop shop for all my environmental solutions and questions. This place gives all of us who desire action on the most pressing issue of our day a forum to solve problems.

My extensive use of your site does give me a problem. Where are the Afrocan Americans? Where are the Asian Americans, Where are the Native Americans. Every single modle I see in your pictures are white, from story pictures to the models for your shirts. It saddens me to think how someone who has had to grow up in white bread America would come to your web site, look at it and think. “I can’t be apart of the solution for global warming. I don’t see any pictures of other Escamoes here.”

I’m sure there are other people working for WE that aren’t white. You can take a picture of them and throw it on the site. Or you guy have got to be good with computers. How about Photoshoping a picture of one of your models (Obvously don’t do one of Al. He’s way too famous to do that). If you need to, I have lots of African American, Mexican American, Native Americans here in my home town of Pitcher, Ok. I could take some pictures of them and you could put them on the site for diversity. Email me back if you want me too.

Thanks for hearing my thoughts. I want to help out any way I can.

"WE will get by, WE will Survive" Jerry Garcia- Touch of Gray

Windsong
Pitcher, Oklahoma


Dear WE:

I think its great that someone is finally thinking about our children and doing something to get Mother Gaia back to the right temperature.

I'm concerned, howver, that WE are not setting a right example for those who are trying to learn the proper way to live in an ecological world. The WE site uses a predominately white color scheme, which means that all of the WE site viewers are using screens that have active "white" pixles. This raises two concerns for me:

1. I think this is an implicitly racial undertone, and could potentially be offensive for persons of non-whiteness. A nice mocha color scheme in the site will by much more racially sensitive.

2. White pixles use much more power when being viewed, which contributes to the very global doom that WE're trying to prevent! A dark color scheme would use less power and therefore reduce global temperatures.

Please check the background of whoever's making your Web site, as they may be working for the Rethugs. I look forward to your prompt action,

Yours in Gaia (PBUH)

Percy Dovetonsils



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Submit your Operation Needs More PC suggestion for improving WE's insensitive web site to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.4/5 (10 votes cast)

Comments (5)
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July 21, 2008
WEsistance Challenge: Operation Needs More PC
Posted by Harvey at 12:07 PM

I declare Operation Helpful Idiot a success.

Or at least fun.

Now it's time for:

OPERATION NEEDS MORE PC

The Premise: It's the next stage in the relationship. You still think WE is messianic, like a Green Obama, but still... you just can't help noticing that one, tiny little flaw, and if only that were made right, you could go back to being blindly in love again.

This time, the problem is... something at the site doesn't meet your hysterical, fanatical preference for political correctness. You feel that somewhere, somehow, SOME blessed group of exalted victims MIGHT be offended by something you've seen or read on the site.

Suggested format:

1) Brief acknowlegdement of the goodness of WE.

2) Your constructive criticism on how they can be more sensitive to those they've been insensitive to. Don't be mean, here. You want to HELP. It's like being brave enough to tell a friend he's got bad breath. In this case, it's the bad breath of insensitivity toward... blacks, whites, young, old, pirates, farmers, prostitutes, the illiterate, vision impaired, hearing impaired, children, people with food allergies, muppets, hemophiliacs, the colorblind... whatever. As before, try to keep it under 200 words to encourage folks to pass it around.

3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.

As usual, feel free to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.

Sample letter:

Dear WE,

I think it's great that there's finally an organization that's trying to save the whole planet. However, I can't help wondering if it does any good to save the whole planet if doing so involves harming womyn's self-esteem.

What I mean is that I think your spokesperson Dawn R. on the Take Action page encourages unhealthy sterotypes of "thinness" and "symmetry" that our society should leave behind. Perhaps you should consider a repersentative with a more healthy and natural body shape, and facial features that don't perpetuate traditional lookist oppressions.

Liberation for All
Bertha Hodgkins

As before, you don't HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Needs More PC, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there's nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.

After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your entry to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I'll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.

Rating: 2.0/5 (6 votes cast)

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July 18, 2008
WEtard WEsponses?
Posted by Harvey at 08:54 PM

Reader Adrianne asks:

What I want to know is, are any of these getting responses?

Any of you Helpful Idiots gotten an acknowledgment from the hapless interns who had to waste their time slogging through your convoluted psychotic blatherings?

Rating: 2.5/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (8)
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Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 10
Posted by Harvey at 06:13 AM

NOTE: new WEsistance operation coming Monday.

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear We,
My friends told me about your organization. I think it's a fine thing you are doing. Unfortuneatly there are limits to the reductions in climate harming human activities that you can achieve while the total number of humans continues to increase. Therefore to ensure the long term survival of the Earth some means must be found to reduce the surplus population. Disease, war and famine will reduce populations but not without unwelcome damage to the environment which we intend to preserve. Therefore we must find means to encourage the voluntary, non violent if possible, reduction in the number of humans capable of reproduction. Tax breaks for the childless perhaps. Encouraging the undesireable to remove themselves from the breeding population by apealing to their self interest may be affected by a positive campaign like the following:
We, Planned Parenthood and NARAL
present a limited time offer!
3 proceedures for the price of 1!
Bring your babies daddy in and get
2 Free sterilizations with each abortion performed!
Quick, painless and confidential!
Save time and money! Save the world!
Sincerely,
Toppo Daphoudchane
People for Eugenic Hygiene.


Thanks be to Gaia for WE. WE must change the Bush-And-Bust administration's policies that have created a perfect Hell On Earth.

In that vein, I thought of a really great way to stop a LOT of CO2. I can't imagine how many tonnes of CO2 a NASCAR race emits but I'm sure it's a lot. So, if we were to mandate that all NASCAR cars MUST be either WIND or SOLAR powered, it would help. I know the rednecks and hillbillies in Daytona might not want to give up there precious gasoline but once they realize how much QUITER and more PEACEFUL a NASCAR race would be with eco-friendly fuels, they'll jump on board.

Maybe, we could start by mandating that all cars must be HYBRIDS at first and then work our way to a purely earth-friendly race by the end of the Obama presidency in 2012.

Do you know who the legislator is that's in charge of NASCAR?

Thanks,
Sierra Madre Maria
O in '08!


Dudes! Seriously, you guys at WE totally rock! Some people are so freakin stupid when it comes to knowing all about our planet, and how its totally gonna fry up. WE have to get the message out!

Okay, so I was sitting around with some my fraternity bros the other day, talking about about an assinement for our Environmental Ethics class, and we came up with a totally awsome idea! Really, this kinda takes care of two problems, so, double jeapordy! First, we're running out of oil, and even if we weren't we need to stop using so much, and second, people are getting so obese these days. You should see how many fat chicks their are on our campus, seriously. So here's my solution. Use liposuction on all the fat people, then, take that fat, and turn it into biodeasel. I saw a show once on how people take fat from places like McDonalds, and then make their own deasel fuel out of it. If we took all that fat from the fat people and made fule out of it, then first, you wouldn't have to use so much oil, and two, you'd stamp out obesity. I don't know if anyone has mentioned this yet, but its like, the perfect answer. You could even pay people for the fat you take, especially since poor people seem to be the fattest, and then if you paid them something two, you could also help elimanate poverty! Dude, I just thought of that! I volunteer my girlfriend first, since her a$$ is starting to pork out some, but don't tell her I said that.

Awesome, so let me know if you use my idea, cuz I could totally get extra credit in my EE210 class!

WE is the shazizzle!
Rock the vote!
K-Fresh signin' out.



First I wanto say that thank you for having such a wonderful orgnization for fixing GW!!! I was thinking of this idea. Sinse so many of us use organic food to make compost & then use the compost to make some more orgnic food...Why dont we get wise: Composting crates Co2!!! If more of us would just eat evry bit of food spoiled or not we would have less and less and less of C)2 the very more we ate.
Sure there is a real small chance wed get sick, but mainly I think more & more of us could develope a taste for food that is like "past it's prime"! I know I have & once you get used to it it isnt so bad. Eventully you can move on to do even more eating of even more food that is just a little past. Even you can get some from your neghbors trash. You really can. Beleive me!! I DO IT !!!
After a while I get even a little bit hi off it if you know what I mean!

And all the while I am contributing to OUR CAUSE!!! YOU CAN TOO!!!!
Peace, Felicia Rathbone



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.5/5 (8 votes cast)

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July 17, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 9
Posted by Harvey at 12:17 PM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Hi, This is excellent! WE should really help us environmentalists make a difference! I was recently elected vice president of the "Green Action Organization". (It's a student group at Old Dominion University.) In past years, we had trouble figuring out which issues we should fight for. I mean, there is global warming, forest fires, windmills killing eagles. We were spreading ourselves too thin. I hope that by making my club an official part of WE, we can better coordinate our efforts. I should note that we lost our official status a couple years ago. The school revoked our charter after we ran a year-long campaign to educate people about the environmental dangers of Republicans. They want to drill more oil, make everyone drive SUV's, build nuclear plants, and use dirty coal for everything. If it were up to them, America would keep generating even more power every year! We need to conserve, not build! Republicans don't believe in sacrifice, which we need right now. The school told us that we can't "campaign against Republicans". It might "hurt their nonprofit status". It's not like we were making anything up. Facts are facts. Republicans are bad for the environment. After a lot of hearings, the school revoked our charter. But we still keep the club going. We have 24 active members and many sympathetic students. Please help us spread the message about Republicans. They really should be illegal. That's the best thing WE can do for the environment. WE should spend our money to change the laws that make it illegal for groups to use school money to campaign against republicans. I mean, unions can do it, right? Why not universities? Why not us? Why not the Salvation Army? It's not campaigning, really. It's just spreading TRUTH. What good is an environmental group if we don't explicitly go after meat-eating, SUV driving, oil-drilling, eagle-killing, deer-hunting people in the GOP? Regards, Sandra Positano


Hi, WE!

I luv that sumone is finaly doing sumthing to keep us all from burning to deth in the next cupple of yeers do to the evils of glowbal warming, four witch we only haf ourselfs to blame!!! Thank Gaya for WE!!!

First, I want to no that I am doing enuff to halp stop this cumming trajety, so I was wundering if sumone cood pass a law or sumthing reqiring evryone, me inclooded, wood haf to haf there carbin footprint mesured. Do I like haf to wauk threw carbin and than step on sum speshul paper or sumthing?

Also, as a typecal wite person, who, thanks to my lite skin tone, halps to reflekt more of the suns dedly heet back into space, my other idea is that all peeple with darker skin, who are sucking in the suns killer rayz and halping speed us all to are impending doom, volunter themselfs to be culled in a mass (voluntery) jenoside to save the planut.

But I'm not rasist or anything.

Vote Obama!

See?

After all, he can leed by exampull after the elekshun and hurl himself off a clif or sumthing anyway to halp save the planut. That wood be so totaly cool!

Sincerely,

Adolf "Duke Moonbeam" Duke



I just thought of a way to stop global warming but I don't know who to share it with. I'm sending it to you so that hopefully you can like forward it to the proper authoriteis.

Since Carbon Dioxide is like the worst pollutant in the world, can't we just put it in big tanks and then shoot it into space on huge rockets? I realize that means we're now polluting space but if we like shoot it towards the sun, it'll just burn up anyway so there won't be any like earth germs and stuff left on it to pollute other planets and stuff.

I know your thinking that a problem with this is how to make the rockets go since they use like rocket fuel anyway and that's just going to put more CO2 in the atmosphere. But I heard that they're like collecting cow farts (i know it's really gross!) and that it's methane and that methane burns.

So we would have a renewable resource that would power those rockets to shoot the Carbon Dioxide into space to get it off of Mother Earth - that's like a double-smack in the face of Global Warming.

Do you know who I could talk to to start working on this?

Sunshine Campbell
"Earth needs a friend - are YOU available?"



Finally, people are starting to apply their minds to preserving our increasingly
scarce resources instead of finding faster ways to consume them.

Bucky Fuller once said that the problem wasn't scarcity but distribution (Oh to
have lived back when that was true - before energy consumption doubled every 4
years, depleting all the accessible oil on this continent). Air conditioning
could be made efficient if we simply used a nationwide set of underground
cooling tubes to connect heat pumps in the south to heat pumps in the north.
Even during summer people up north need heat for swimming pools, cooking and
commercial applications. Heck, New York City still has steam pipes for powering
businesses. By taking the output of the air conditioners in the south and
pumping the excess heat, they won't have to burn nearly as much fossil fuels for
power.

Keep up the good work, there are a lot of great plans that require only that our
government invest in infrastructure the way it invests in attacking other
countries.



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 1.4/5 (7 votes cast)

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July 16, 2008
Membership Has Its Privleges
Posted by Harvey at 09:43 PM

Since the WEtards put me ahead of the curve on this news item, I thought I'd toss out a spoiler:

Something important is happening tomorrow.

In a speech in Washington, DC, Nobel Laureate and Former Vice President Al Gore will issue a major challenge, essentially pressing the "reset" button on how we think about energy and climate, and how we can create prosperity in America.

His speech will generate a great deal of attention. Since you are a We campaign member, we wanted to make sure you heard about it in advance. We'll email you when we've posted the video highlights, action steps and other resources -- so stay tuned for breaking news!

In the interests of accuracy, shouldn't Gore's description also include the phrases "Oscar winner", "limousine liberal" and "presidential also-ran"?

Tangentially, I had no idea that WEtards came with a "reset" button. If I press it, can I make them stop proselytizing for their bizarre religious cult?

As for creating prosperity, does this mean Al Gore FINALLY cracked the cover on that copy of The Capitalist Manifesto I sent him?

Great news, if true. I can't wait for the speech.

In other WEtard news, 6 weeks after their membership contest ended, I *finally* got my WEshirt. Size XL, organic cotton, WE logo placed like a central third breast sans nipple, and their website URL on the back.

Plus two WE stickers and 4 WE buttons.

But what to do with it?

I'm torn between holding some sort of reader "What I would do with WE logo merchandise" short essay contest, and auctioning the stuff off and donating the proceeds to some sort of charity that produces a large carbon footprint (like the US Military).

I'm very open to suggestions at this point.

Rating: 3.1/5 (4 votes cast)

Comments (19)
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Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 8
Posted by Harvey at 05:39 AM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



I think that this WE campaign is the best thing to come along since Bill Clinton was president!@!! First of all, we need to undo all of the damage that the republicans keep doing to our wonderful planet. They just do'nt understand how important it is to take care of Mother earth! So heres my suggestion-- I think Cheryl Crow was on the totally right track when she started talking about the one square of toilet paper rule. I mean, think of how many trees we could save if even half of the country committed to doing this all the time!!!!1 We'd save at least 100 trees! and wow clean up our air.But i think we should take it one step further to include other kinds of paper products (computer paper, paper plates, napkins, etc). I think thats where your organization could be helpful. Like using your researchers to come up with a fair number for all Americans for how much paper we should get a year. And then the government could pass it out, and everyone gets their share. If you use it up, make buying extra toilet paper really expensive (hey, those wasting rich republicans can pay the price if they won't support WE and us, and it will just give them less money to buy guns anyway.). Just my two sents.

Vote for hope, hope for change! Obama 08'



Dear WE,

The center of the earth is very hot, but we live on the surface of the
earth, and now I no that the surface is getting much hotter because we do.
It seems right to me that the center hot is somehow getting to the surface.
Oil in my car gets hot, so I no that oil is hot. Maybe it is the same in
the earth!!! If we get the oil out of the earth then the earth will be less
hotter. This is so right that nobody can not no it!!! Plus all the holes
to get the oil will make the center less hot, like my car gets air to it.

Thanks for making me think of this before its to late. Call me if you don't
get it and I can help you get it, and I can think of some other stuff to.

Justin Berkley III

Dumb people are mean :)



I think its graet that WE are getting involvd in solving the pressing needs of the world. May I suggest?
1) Reduced energy consumption through global economic collapse. Its gonna happen, just WHEN is the question. WE can encourage this through government support of any and all programs -- to starve the economy of resources.
2) A Global Tax on electrons used. With profits to fund green alternatives to electron/protons.
3) Sustainable cooperative initiatives through leveled playing fields. What I mean is reduction of inequality with an eye toward measurable fairness.
4) Clean-based ecofuel programs which are outcome-based and will not increase global warming and/or cooling.
5) Support initatives which wil increase community projects in greenscaping, cityscaping and ecoscaping. Investigative projects funded by BIG OIL which will discover the possible uses of kinetic energy in the sea (without interrupting native sealife) and potential energy stored in rocks poised to fall off high peaks.*
*Without actually removing the rocks from the peaks. The potential energy stored in boulders which are high on cliffs in say, Colorado or Montana could fuel a small city.


Nuke Iran! If we nuke Iran we can save the planet.

Here's how:

When nukes go off they release an enormous amount of energy. This "energy" is in the form of a huge fire ball that will melt the sands of Iran.

Once the "dust settles" there will be huge sheets of glass made from melted sand everywhere the nukes exploded in essence making huge mirrors that will reflect the energy from the sun just enough to combat the dreaded "Global Warming".

Poof, World saved.

Swinehound



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.6/5 (5 votes cast)

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July 15, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 7
Posted by Harvey at 07:05 AM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Thank Gaia (PBUH) that someone is finally cairing about the children and fixing the climate. After 8 years of the so-called Bush so-called administration WE have to fix the environment and get things back to the right temperature.

I have a great idae for fixing the environment that I cant believe WE arent doing already. Amerikkkans currently drink like 25% of their fluids as carbonated beverages. Since these beverages contain carbon, we should take all of the carbon out of the coal plants and then put them into Coke and Pepsi cans. Then, we give people tax credits the more soda they drink. This would give us a good environment plus it would create millions of green jobs in the soda creation industries. WE should get this made law TOOT-SWEET (heh heh, get it?) before Chimpy McHitlerburton manages to kill the last Polar Bear for oil.

Vote Kucinich!!!

Yours,

Percy Dovetonsils



I think we should all start up our cars, turn the airconditioning all the way frosty and then just let them run. It might even be better to roll the windows down cruze around town and yell complements at pretty girls in tight shorts. How cool is that?! I know just one person doing this will not make much difference but what if hundreds of us did?! Pretty soon we would have polar bears in LA. How cool is that.


My Idea to Help Use Less Energy

I noticed that on summer afternoons, my house gets really hot. I try not to turn on the air conditioner, but my husband complains that then it gets too hot to sleep upstairs where the bedrooms are. I noticed that if I keep the blinds down during the day, the rooms stay cooler, but the walls without windows work way better at keeping heat out. So, I got some plywood and put it up over the windows that face the south, west, and east. I painted cute garden and forest murals on them, and it looks like you're always looking out on a beautiful nature scene - but, your house stays much cooler in the summer! I think it will work for winter, too. I'll just add an additional set of plywood murals to the windows that face north (to keep out the cold winds). Viola, beauty, energy efficiency and crafting all in one!

Love,

Lauren



Dear We:
First, let me say how hapy I am that you're out their to protect the envirament.

To add my two cents, I'd like to suggest that we work with President Obama to make enviramental education manditory in highschool, including global warming and what man has done to Mother Earth. School teachers should be telling highschool students how bad man is for the earth. Since the goverment funds schools, this wouldn't be hard to do, I think. If only more people understood man's negative impact on the envirament, I think we'd try harder to fix ourselves, or to let the goverment help us fix ourselves.

Anyway, that's my thought. What do U think?
All the best, and GO OBAMA!!!



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Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.3/5 (6 votes cast)

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July 13, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 6
Posted by Harvey at 01:17 PM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Hola,

Gracias for taking the leadership on halting the global warming crisis.
But WE (nombre cool!) can do more and ther are lots of grande ideas we can do togeatehr.
I think we should demand congress make people use less forest products like toilet paper because trees remove the greenhouse gas emission carbon dioxide (CO2).

By using water to clean orselves instead of toileet paper we can save trees and dilute the pollution in our waterways because dilution is the solution to much harmful chemicals used by greedy corporate agribusiness.

This is very easy to do. I do it all the time in the fields with water for irrigation.
If I can do it so can others.
Feel free to use my idea to make people change.

Tener Cuidado,

Duo Che Chorrear
"Larga vida a Obama"



What a wonderful site - you have given me lots of information to share with my friends as we commune with nature up here in the mountains.

I really wanted to share something that I think might help. Since our problems are all about how the stuff we get is messing up the planet - why not have some kind of place where people can donate stuff so that it can be buried or something and that will keep the carbon that would normally be used when stuff is like ordered and carried and bought and used would then be able to be held down.

Stuff It for the Planet!

Love and peace.
Your Friend
Sunshine



WE is great! WE was waiting for you! it's about time someone did something...

I saw an artical on the internet which shows such promise but it's from the UK so I wanted to make sure someone here in america knew about it, you can find it here:

link

If every cow had one of these, it would reduce GW and we would have so much methane we can use it to power our cars and reduce our depenency on foriegn oil and save even more GW!

I hate using GW because it reminds me of the initials of a certain "president" - ooh he burns me up!

Keep up the great WErk!!!! ;-)

"moonpie"



I think we need a new national movement to ban soda pop and beer. The CO2 in beer and soda pop is what create the the fizz or foam. Why do we need fizz and foam? The world is in far to great of jeopardy to allow for any extra co2 to be emitted. I have to drive my car to work its to far to walk and there is no mass transit to take. So to reduce my CO2 I have stopped drinking soda pop and beer.

I know everyone can do their part.


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Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 1.7/5 (5 votes cast)

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July 12, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 5
Posted by Harvey at 06:02 PM

NOTE: I'm posting these in the order they arrived in my inbox. I'm somewhere around July 7th right now. I have to say that so far I've been consistently delighted with the entries.

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Since the Democratic National Convention is bringing a huge amount of carbon into the Denver area, and Denver already has huge amounts of pollution anyway from being in a valley, It would be fantastic if the Democratic National Committee would build giant solar-powered turbines to put on top of some of the taller buildings downtown. These turbines would suck polluted air through a filter that would take all the pollution particles out of the air and leave clean fresh air. It would be a really nice way for us to give a lasting gift to the city of Denver for hosting the convention.

--Ami Horowitz



The trees are being cut down and we are all running out of oxygen! We need more oxygen to live. Gakkk Gakkkk. I can feel my brain running low on oxygen. Please give more attention to the trees before we all lose our ability to think clearly.
-Raiinbo Rice


Dear WE,

I am so excited to hear about your organization and me and my freinds will all join you to STOP GLOBAL WARMING NOW!

Is there a place for suggestions for the WE effort? I am always coming up with ideas for ways that WE can reduce global gas emmisions, among other things. For instance, I heard that GM had an electric car back in the 90s and they were all mysteriously recalled and no one knows why, but it is rumored that the big oil companies paid off GM because of how much that would hurt the oil industry. Why doesn't anyone form an investigative committee to find out what really happened concerning these charges? Electric cars would go a long way towards reducing our dependence on big oil and would reduce our carbon footprint immediately.

I have lots of other ideas and would love to share them with you if you think that would be helpful. Please let me know who to contact.

Your supporter in the WEvolution!

Barry Love



Wow, my frined told me about you guys, and you are just so awesome!
I have so many ideas to help with climate change, but I'm not a scientist, so I don't know if they would work or anything.
But something totally has to be done because the earth is going to melt. And that would really suck.
OK, fiist I was watching An Inconvenent Truth the other day for like the 11th time. It's so hard to understand all the science! LOL I did go to college for teaching, but it was too hard. ( i'm sad about that because I really wanted to inspear some little kids). I was thinking that in the 70's when all the carbon stuff starting filling our air was the time that we started using micrawave ovens. We shoudl totally stop that.
My mom says discos started in the 70's (shes a republican so I don't know if its the truth or not) and i think that maybe there was some weird connection from all the dry ice ad polyester used in discos and the atmosfere. Or maybe the beat of the music unbalanced the earth. I hope we dont' have to elimnate disco, cuz I like it and my hairdresser is gay, but i would be willing to give it up if it saved the earth. I don't wear polyestere so that would be ok.
I think too that we should go faster to the immishons of the car speed into the atmospfere like the spaceshuttle. And we should get out of Irak...my boyfriend says it's only about oil anyway. That's ok though becuase my car uses gas not oil.
Thank you for listening and saving our planet. You totally Rock!!!
Peacefull Vally


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Rating: 2.6/5 (4 votes cast)

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July 10, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 4
Posted by Harvey at 06:58 AM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Thank yiu fir doing your best to help climate change. If WE all work togther im sure we can get this done.

Honestly, this is all Bush's fault for not letting Russia and Saudi Arbia have nukes. If they had nukes, it may be more dangers, but if there were less people, there would be less carbon pollution, which means that most of the world will be saved at the cost of a few. Also, a few nukes could raise up dust that covers the sky, blocking some of the sun's rays to offset this awful thing weve done.

Thank you, and see you soon!

Vote Obama!



Hello fellow greenie!

My suggestion is simple and something I already do.

I no longer place my recyclable materials outside for collection. Instead, I ride my bike the twenty-three miles (one way) to the collection facility to deliver them in person.

If everyone would do this, it would help in two ways:
1. It would get the smog producing co2 trucks off the road.
2. It would get people more exercise and a chance to enjoy mother nature.

Thank you so much for letting me be part of We. I'm so excited to be part of the solution!

Al Gore is my president!

Eltwom Patel
(Eight Letters, Three Words, One Meaning - Love)



Dear WE,
I would just like to say how proud I am of all that you have done to hlep stop the impedning global warming crisis. There are several things that you should be aware of tho. Every time a bottle or can of beer is opened, it releases naughty gasses that are ruining our childrens atmosphere. You should try to get congress to repeal or impeach the 21st ammendment, making prohibition active once again!!!1 As we all know, alcohol is also a huge contributer to violence and murder... almost as much as firearms! So banning alcohol and firearms will help the world's climate, and world peace. GO WE!!! I mean us.

Vote 4 Nader!
treelover81-89



Dear WE,

It's great that we have WE to help us coordinate all the initiatives that we need to solve this problem.

There is so much more that we can do if we just work together. Personally, I am involved in an awareness campaign called "Critical Mass". We ride bicycles in big groups right in the middle of the street. It slows down traffic and makes people drive slower (which
saves gas).

When we see a big SUV (like Tony Soprano drives) we get a few cyclists to surround the SUV and come to a complete stop. The SUV can't move. These 5 minute "time outs" are really getting the message across.

We should really make big SUV's illegal. If you need to fit a lot of stuff in your car, you should get a hybrid minivan. If you need to tow something, well, most of the stuff you tow is bad for the
environment (speedboats, snowmobiles).

Has WE looked into regulations that ban SUV's that get under 25mpg?

Thanks,

Cassidy
Rutgers, New Brunswick



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 1.8/5 (6 votes cast)

Comments (7)
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July 08, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 3
Posted by Harvey at 10:09 PM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Hellooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
It is so cool to finally see a site that takes our impending climate tradgedy seriously. If it's ok, I would like to make a suggestion about how we could stop the global warming. Take everyone's shoe size, and give them like 1,000 kw of energy for every square inch that their foot covers. That's all you get man. use it wisely. It would really bring home the idea of a carbon footprint t oeveryone. thanks for readin' and keep up the crazy, dudes and dudettes. I'm outta here.

Wendall Lugo (like Yugo)


Dear WE,

I LOVE it that everybody is finally figuring tht we HAVE to do somtehing to stop Big Oil in it's rape of Mother Earth. Thanks for actually DOING something.

Stick with me here bcz I have a great way to provide both clean energy and stop global warming. Carbon Dioxide is made up of a Carbon atom and 2 OXYGEN atoms. As we all know, Oxygen burns. So - if we simply passed a law that required all energy companies to seperate Carbon from the Oxygen in the AIR (it's right there - they don't even have to MINE it!) and then burn the Oxygen, we get both clean energy and less GW.

We can then use the Carbon atoms left over and make carbon nanotubes and we can then make steel OBSOLETE and that will ALSO clean up the earth.

I would be happy to share my idea with anybody or sign a petition or something to help you take ACTION on greenhouse gas.

Thx.

Get us OUT of IRAQ
www.teensforbarackobama.com
GaiasGreat Moonbeam



Name: Sequoia Fernbottom
Subject: We Can!

Message:
Love this site! It really is just as simple as belief and motion forward.

I'd love to add a suggestion, maybe something that can get people off their cans, so to speak, to see that they "can", too! Flatulence is such an important contributor to what we're all inflicting the Earth Mother with, as we all know. She's given us such a perfect mechanism for handling CO2, in plants and oceans - think of it, she's given us the way to clean up our mess. She's forgiven us our sins, as we forgive, well, sorry to digress into a patriarchal religious taunt.

Anyway, I think if we all committed to using our office- and house- plants, and lakes and rivers and oceans as "cans" (you know, the kind you crap in), we put our detritous as close as possible to the Earth Mother's cleansing mechanism, so that it spends less time exposed to the air to pollute it with CO2, and we CAN solve the problem! We CAN! Perfect. Brilliant.

Wiping out the climate crisis, one leaf at a time,
Sequoia


Hi foks - really excited about your website and group. I do have a suggestion for you to consider as you lobby congress. Can we expand Planned Parenthood's phenomenal US success overseas - especially to places like Africa and the Middle East? It seems that our fundamental problem is overpopulation - to many people with scarce resources. If we can make abortion available everywhere there will be far fewer babies competing for the teat of our blessed Mother Gaia (literally and figuratively!). Maybe we can look into imposing forced birth control/abortions on these people since they obviously are too poor and stupid to control their animal like breeding. It's not like they are contributing anything important to the world. Anyhoo - keep up the good work and after next year we should have our new lightworker president who will bring us change and hopitude. Obey Obama!! Peace!

E. C. Thelion
Of the Fountain
Gondolin, ME 1Age



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 3.0/5 (5 votes cast)

Comments (13)
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July 07, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 2
Posted by Harvey at 05:43 AM

More Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear WE,
Ever since my girlfriend took me to see "An Inconvienient Truth" there has been no issue so important to me as global Warming. I’m so glad there is a place where like minded individuals can get to gether for change. My hope is that we cn make a difference to help stop the effects of Global Warming.

There is a lot WE should be doing, and our government run by Bushitler and his cronies like Dirk Kempthorne and Robert Gates aren’t doing enough. We’ve desimated two countries for oil. Now we are sucking up all of the earth’s resources to keep Bush’s war machine rolling. And what of the people in these countries we invade? They resort to terroisim and opium growing as their only means of providing for their families.

If we are going to spend over 150 billion this year on war, and have our shock troops invading every country they find a can of oil in, can’t we get them to at least try to minimlize their carbon foot print? (I don’t know how much fuel a Battle tank uses, but it’s got to be a lot.) If the Millitary could convert all their vehicles from Unleaded gas to ethanol that would atleast help. Also maybe we could start ethanol programs in these countries to help their economy. Growing corn is better than making Heroin. I read somewhere that Iraq used to be a very fertile area. But I read that in the bible, and if I believed everything in that book I wouldn’t be voting for a black man come this November.

If you guys are putting up suggestions please keep mine in mind. I love thinking new way to be green.

WE care about CLEAN AIR
Jamie "windsong" Dayspring



WE:

I wanted to encourage you keep fighting the good fight! If you can bring Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson together to combat the lies comng from the Conservative Noise Machine, then together WE can all bring globull warming to its knees!

In that vein, I have a possible suggestion to help us all fight the good fight...

Everyone in my circle of friends knows that co2 is caused by humans expelling their breath into the atmosphere. Well, what would happen if we coordinated with, like, TicTacs to invent a breath scrubber mint that can reduce the level of co2 emited by peeple by 60%?! There are 6 billion people on the planet, and if each person ate 10 TicTac scrubbing mints, that'd be 60 billion TicTacs per year. We could share the profits with TicTac and have lots more money at our disposal to evangelize about climate changings. My mom said it's a great idea, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Thanks for listening, and together WE can kill co2 furever!

Ron Paul '08!!!,
Apolo Creide



I am so happy about the WE porject! Our Earth is dying.

I think that our govurment should do something to cut c02 omissions by at least 80 percent.

They should force people to ride bicicles and use mass transit. Business should not be able to polute at all. They could put people in jail for not recycling or driving a car or pulluting. then the people we put in jail could be forced to pedal bicicles that genurate electricity.

Keep on keeping on

Aires Lovetree

Kucinich for president!



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 3.2/5 (7 votes cast)

Comments (14)
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July 02, 2008
Operation Helpful Idiot Results - Part 1
Posted by Harvey at 04:06 PM

Some Operation Helpful Idiot suggestions for your reading pleasure. Actual authors may claim credit in the comments if they choose.

You may safely assume that all typos were intentional.



Dear WE,

This is such an awesome group. Every time I see a new organic product at my whole food store or a baby wearing an eco-friendly onesie, I know that WE are making a difference.

Here's something I've been thinking about that I think WE can do. What if the government past a law that required people to start using solar power on there houses. All that solar engery being absorbed would decrease the solar engery that is causeing the global warmning!

WE CAN DO IT!

Amber Saves



Hewo,
My name is slim shady, erm Matt, and I think WEsistance can do more for the world around us. The first problem is that we all fart. That is destorying the world and it needs to be illegal. I also we need to stop cWEmating people because that is bad nEWs for us and I have asthma and can't breath in the air. BTW news has WE spelled Backwads, isn't that cool? Go Al Gore president 2000 !!! NOT...ouch soft spot.


Someone should start a campaign to make Polar Bears vital to the US economy. When Big O takes charge, He can find a way to turn PB urine and/or feces into a renewable fuel. Instead of sucking the lifeblood out of our mother, we would be *SAVING* two birds with one stone. Image an horizon void of oil derricks, with free range polar bear roaming the country-side. How can you get an idea like this rolling?

Vote Out Bu$Hitler McChimpy - Osama for PKresident!!!!
piece, out.
pieceweaver



1) WE should demand Congress institute a, say, $0.10/stamp tax on all first-class letters, and a per-pound tax on all packages. This will discourage people from mailing things, thus preserving forests (less paper) and requiring fewer post-office deliveries.

2) WE should demand Congress mandate that all box-office movies be available on pay-per-view within a month of their theater release. This will encourage people to stay home and watch movies instead of going to the theater. If this is not feasible, then make it optional, and tax companies that don't do this and give breaks to companies that do.

3) Passenger airlines should be given landing priority over private jets. WE could have a sort of HOV-lane for airplanes! Corporate types who typically charter private planes because they're in a hurry would then have an incentive to fly commercial or risk being stuck in the air for a while.

4) I want to have a day where people walk to work/the store/school/wherever as much as possible. If we get a good coordinated effort, we could get a lot of press on the local news. If we do this at the high point of summer, it would really show the simultaneous problems of global warming and of running out of fuel before alternatives are found.



Like those? Say so.

Think you can do better? Then do so.

Submit your Helpful Idiot suggestion for stopping evil climate change to the WEtard contact page, then send a copy to me at WEsistance@gmail.com for possible future publication at IMAO (if it doesn't suck too terribly bad).

Rating: 2.3/5 (8 votes cast)

Comments (4)
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June 30, 2008
WEsistance Challenge: Operation Helpful Idiot
Posted by Harvey at 11:00 AM

I've been contacted by the WEtards, and they've asked for an address to ship the shirt to.

No mention of WEleadership, so I assume that's now off the table. I'll accept this as my failure for not making sure I had 50 names submitted in time.

Anyway, here's the long-promised Stage 2, which I call

OPERATION HELPFUL IDIOT

The Premise: WE doesn't just want numbers, they want participants. So I'm encouraging the people who signed up as WEtards ("I's of the WEsistance") to go to the WE contact page and leave a "helpful" suggestion for solving the climate crisis.

Suggested format:

1) Brief, enthusiastic gushing about the greatness of WE

2) Your brilliant idea for putting a stop to global warming, preferrably to be forced on America by the US government. This idea should be dumb and impractical, but not theoretically impossible (a suggestion like "Superman should eat the sun like an apple until its smaller size offsets global warming" is obviously fake. The goal here is more "fake but accurate"). Try to keep it under 200 words so that people will be more likely to pass it around to their friends in an e-mail.

3) Sign off with some cliche lefty slogan and your hippie alias.

Oh, and don't be afraid to leave in a few typos and misspellings, just for flavor.

Sample letter:

Dear WE,

I'm so proud to be part of an organization that actually CARES about the EARTH and the FUTURE of our CHILDRN!

I think you're doing a great job, but WE (I LOVE THAT NAME!) can do more. I've heard that cow burping cause's a lot of greenhouse gas. I think farmers should be forced to put muzzles on all their cows. Like surgical masks, except they should be treated with a chemical that absorbs all that CO2. If you're putting together a list for Congress, please include mine. Thx.

VOTE NADER '08!
Summer Sunshine Rainbow Rabinowitz




Now, you don't HAVE to be a member of WE to participate in Operation Helpful Idiot, but if you ARE signed up, it puts pressure on them to take you seriously, and there's nothing more pathetically funny than a conflicted liberal.

After you leave your suggestion with WE, send a copy of it to me at wesistance@gmail.com. If I find your "helpful suggestion" to be brief, subtle, and at least moderately amusing, I'll post it at IMAO so that others may enjoy it also.


Rating: 3.0/5 (13 votes cast)

Comments (12)
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June 09, 2008
WEtards Need Our Help!
Posted by Harvey at 11:33 AM

Still no word on the T-shirt or WEleadership, but the WEtards HAVE asked for suggestions for making their stupid propaganda commercials:

Suggest the next Unlikely Alliance

You may have seen the ads already. Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich. Al Sharpton and Pat Robertson. Complete opposites. But there they are, together, on a couch. Addressing climate change brought them together.

Now it's your turn to come up with the next pairing for the couch. Tell us what famous pairs would motivate the rest of America to put aside differences to solve the climate crisis.

Click here to watch the ads and nominate the next "Unlikely Alliance."

Think of two people who may be polar opposites, but might agree on the need to solve the climate crisis, like Newt and Nancy or the two Reverends have. Who are the two people who, if they came together on this issue, would stop people in their tracks and make them say, "If they can agree on this, so can the rest of us." Who are the two politicians, sports stars, actors or business people who, if they joined together, could help us reach millions?

We'll feature breakthrough suggestions on our site, and invite them to join our campaign. You may even see them on the TV screen!

Glad to help:



* Jeremiah Wright and David Duke.

* The Olson twins and unvomited food.

* Clint Eastwood & Spike Lee

* Kos & McCain's teeth.

* Amy Fisher and Mary Jo Buttafucco.

* Dan Rather and an IBM Selectric typewriter.

* Hillary and Monica

* Mac & PC.

* John Edwards & a Cost Cutters stylist.

* Al Gore and hard science.



Any other happy couples?

Rating: 3.5/5 (4 votes cast)

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May 15, 2008
WEtard Font & Other Such
Posted by Harvey at 11:42 AM

Alice, bless her soul, sent me 4 gifts recently.

First, an explanation of how the WEtard Font came to be. Here's a particularly irksome passage from the article [see also the original press release]:

"Mr. Collins said he wanted a typeface that was "friendlier" than that of [1960's Swiss/Modernist poster design]. The new typeface, with small, more rounded gestures, is little bit quirky, but has a curiously warm appearance, too."

Friendly, quirky, curiously warm... sorta like having sex with an apple pie.

Second - an .fla file that contains the font. If someone knows how to do such a conversion, have at it.

Third - a 72 dpi .jpg of the font. If anyone is conversant with font-creating software, this might be useful.

Fourth - a 300 dpi .jpg of the font. Ditto.

If anyone makes a usable TrueType font out of this, drop me a line.

By the way, my initial reaction to the font - after getting a good look at the pointless asymmetrical design of some of the letters (especially p & q) - was that it's the kind of thing you'd expect from a surly teenager with an ideogram neck tat & multiple facial piercings whose persistent mommy-issues cause a mental blind spot preventing him from telling the difference between "gracelessly inelegant mutilation" and "creative design".

*******

Next, from the latest panicky polar bear missive from WEtard central:

Polar bears are tragic, innocent victims of global warming.

When they're not mauling Inuits (careful if you follow the links on that page, as they lead to graphic images).

Or grandmothers

Or Australian zoo-goers

Or nuclear-powered Seawolf class submarines.

And - much like our enemies the Canadians - they like to club baby seals to death for fun. Club them with their long, pointy teeth! (video contains graphic nature-show violence)

Who in the world would want to save this brutal killer?:

killer polar bear.jpg

The answer - our WEtarded government, who put this bloodthirsty monster on the threatened species list instead of making comfy, decorative rugs out of the genocidal lot of them.

Speaking of which, what else can you use a dead polar bear for?

* speed bump

* Klondike bar display rack

* Put him in the passenger seat so you can use the HOV lane.

* Opening a restaurant specializing in Eskimo cuisine - blubberiffic!

* Paint it green; pass it off as world's largest Chia Pet.

* Cut it open and use it to keep your Wampa-mauled Jedi friend warm.

I'm sure you've got friendly, quirky, and curiously warm notions of your own that you'd like to share.

Rating: 2.4/5 (6 votes cast)

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May 07, 2008
WE update
Posted by Harvey at 11:37 PM

Volunteers are still stepping forward, and I'm still processing the virtual paperwork.

Meanwhile, some thoughts:

1) Terms associated with this project:

Operation ScreWE - getting me appointed a WeLeader.

WEtard - someone who actually believes and supports WE's global warming nutjobbery. (Hat tip: Rubeus)

WEsistance - people who actively oppose the WE project

I of the WEsistance - someone who signs up for WE for purposes of ideological espionage.

"WEsistance is facile" - proposed motto.

2) What is stage 2?:

Not sure yet, but I'd like it to be something that makes them squander their resources, which are time, money, and credibility. Anything we can do that makes them use these ineffectually is good.

But more importantly, the process has to be FUN. Yes, I hate these people and everything they believe and stand for, but in the end, I'm doing this for my own amusement and your entertainment.

3) When is the shirt coming?

The membership drive extends until May 30th, so I'm assuming they'll hand out prizes sometime after that. Stage 2 will be something to do while we're waiting.

More to come as I make it up.

Rating: 1.1/5 (4 votes cast)

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May 05, 2008
WE Thought
Posted by Harvey at 10:46 PM

It just occurred to me - no matter how blatantly mocking of hippieness your WEhugger sacrificial e-mail name is, the tools in charge of the project will not catch on. They'll simply assume that you're being self-deprecatingly ironic.

Rating: 2.5/5 (6 votes cast)

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May 04, 2008
Quick Question - UPDATED 5-4-08 10:45pm CDT
Posted by Harvey at 06:57 PM

Does anyone know the name of the WE font?

we font.jpg

The shape of the "l" seems to be its most distinctive feature.

If I'm going to make fun of these idiots, I'm going to need this font to do it right.

Trebuchet MS bold (bottom) is very close, but not quite it:

climate crisis trebuchet.jpg

I'll settle for that if I have to, but an exact match would be better.

UPDATE 5-4-08 10:45pm CDT - if anyone has used font creator software, would it be possible to reverse-engineer the font using the samples from the WE front page? They show about 20 letters.

Rating: 2.3/5 (6 votes cast)

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May 03, 2008
We-ing in process... stand by... - UPDATED 5-4-08 12:45 am CDT
Posted by Harvey at 03:16 PM

Looks like there are enough volunteers to start, but first I need to test this out with one of my alternate e-mail addresses.

Here's the live-blog:



1) Although the invite was sent out quickly, it was snagged by my spam-filter. How appropriate.

2) The link shows up in the email as http://www.wecansolveit.org/join, but actually takes you to http://www.wecansolveit.org/page/ic/idol869ruxznor/Sg9ZXA0%253D, which shows up in my browser as http://wecansolveit.org/page/s/signupmain. So many sneaky re-directs from such a truth-oriented program.

3) Oops... had to clear my cookies because the sign-up page remembered my original sign-up info. Just a hint for you new folks who want to sign yourself up 50 times to become WeLeaders and get that sweet, sweet organic cotton T-shirt.

4) Ok, I submitted my e-mail & fake name... where's my welcome e-mail?

5) ?

6) Profit

7) Ok... I guess they're checking to see if that e-mail address has already signed up ("Once a new signup is received, Sponsor will compare names against the database to ensure each new sign-up is an Eligible New-Signup").

8) While I'm waiting, I think I'll check to see if that URL is consistent... invite another me... caught in spam filter... and now it's http://www.wecansolveit.org/page/ic/wvwl8how5fscg1/ShVXUgZLFRsWWldbRBVeAApX. How delightfully random.

9) It's been over over an hour... come ON guys! Put the bong down and welcome me to the collective, already!

10) Ok, bored now... I'll update this post when something new happens...



By the way, this openly-discussed covert operation needs a cool nickname, like "ScreWE", or something. Any suggestions?

UPDATE 3:30pm CDT: To answer a question: upon sign-up, they ask for e-mail, first name, last name, and ZIP. Only the e-mail is mandatory.

UPDATE 5PM CDT: Jimmy said, "Don't know what you really expect to learn from those guys." - I don't either, but the site says that WeLeaders will have "access to behind-the-scenes information, events and tools from the We Campaign", which implies that there will be things going on that they don't want the general public to know about. I'm curious as to what the eviro-cultists are hiding. And if it's juicy, I'll share.

UPDATE 5-4-08 11:30AM CDT: I'm working my way through sending out invites. I still haven't gotten my "welcome to the collective" email from #4. If you've signed up & got your welcome e-mail, let me know.

Ya know, my biggest fear in this whole project is that "behind-the-scenes information" will turn out to be "links to stuff that's on the website", and that being a WeLeader offers nothing that isn't available to regular members.

Not that a group of hippies would ever lie to trick folks into helping pad their membership stats.

UPDATE 5-4-08 12:45PM CDT: From the WE site:

We prefer to receive your donation online to minimize environmental impact of postal mail. However, if you would prefer to send us a check or are not able to donate online, please email us and our development staff will follow up with you.

Slickest paper-trail-elimination technique I've ever seen. I'm TOTALLY using that one for my next online scam.

Rating: 3.2/5 (5 votes cast)

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May 01, 2008
I Am WE
Posted by Harvey at 09:44 PM

I confess.

I signed up for Al Gore's WE campaign.

"Keep your friends close..." etc.

This week, their panicky save-the-planet e-mail is something that I could only dream of having the talent to make up. I offer it with [brief commentary]:

"As climate change causes the continued shrinkage of Arctic sea ice, polar bears are increasingly at risk. Leading American scientists say placing the polar bear on the federal Endangered Species list is key to its survival. [Why would we want to encourage the survival of an animal that deliberately hunts and kills human beings?]

"A federal court has given the Bush administration until May 15 to decide if it will list the polar bear as endangered. Click here to tell Secretary of Interior Dirk Kempthorne that the polar bear, and its fragile [see also: "RMS Titanic"] Arctic habitat, requires protection from the effects of global warming."

"If the Secretary listens to the scientists, the polar bear will gain important protections. Additionally, federal agencies will need to consider how their future activities could affect the species -- and that could be an important step [after they cave in to this, we'll issue our NEXT demand] in leading the government to reduce its greenhouse gas emissions. Please sign our petition to protect polar bears today."

Today they want to protect furry white terrorists wielding blunt instruments capable of plunging an ocean liner to the darkest depths of Davy Jones, tomorrow I'm guessing it'll be furry brown terrorists wielding nukes.

These people are not on our side, and I hate them.

Which leads me to my next point: they're having a membership drive contest until May 30th. If I can get 20 people to sign up, I get an organic cotton T-shirt with the lame-ass WE logo. And if I can get 50 people to sign up, I get "offered the opportunity to become a 'WeLeader' and receive a 'WeLeader' t-shirt."

Now despite the fact the title "WeLeader" sounds like I'm winning a urinating contest of some sort, the thought has crossed my mind that such a position might avail me to information about this vile conglomeration of hippies and freedom-haters not generally accessible to the public. Could be interesting.

So I'm testing the waters to see if there are enough people interested in playing along for me to give this a shot. If you're game for gaming the system, prove your sincerity by leaving a fake hippie nickname for my amusement (like "SunshineRainbow" or "polrbearhugr" or whatever) in the comments. If I get at least 50 volunteers, we'll move on to stage 2, wherein I'll e-mail you privately and ask you to tell me what e-mail address you'd like me to send the WE invite to (since you probably don't want your GOOD e-mail address getting clogged with WEspam).

If I don't get 50 volunteers, then I'll know this was an ill-conceived scheme that deserves to die a quick, nasty death, and I'll not suggest it again.

It's up to you now.

Rating: 2.6/5 (5 votes cast)

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