At the dawn of our new nation, there were still some who wished to be loyal to the
crumpet eating British and wanted to pronounce "about" so that it rhymes with "boot."
And there was much kung fu fighting. In the end, we banished all
those who were too big of a loser to
be a part of our kick ass country to the barren lands of Canada where they would surely
die either from the cold or by being eaten by the meese. Unfortunately, they somehow
survived, and many became hilarious comedians. The best ones moved here, still leaving
the lands of Canada populated by those too big of a reject to be Americans. They have
since settled into their role as "America-lite," the margarine to the butter that is
America. They claim "You can't believe it's not America, eh" but your senses would have
to be
dead to fall for it. Still, we felt sorry for them and let them build the robot arm
for the space shuttle so they could feel useful. They have done nothing of note since.