Fred Thompson, RNC Chair
There’s some talk about making Fred Thompson the RNC Chair. Here’s what I think:
Best idea ever!
Then whenever we have someone wanting to run for office as a Republican, he’d have to go meet with Fred Thompson. And Fred Thompson would ask him, “Are you a true conservative?”
And the guy would squeak, “Yes.”
And Fred Thompson would say, “Really?” And then he’d stare at the guy with his steely gaze.
And the guy would be like, “Aieeee!” because his face started to melt.
And everyone in the room would be like, “Wow! You killed Hagel!”
And Fred Thompson would snarl, “He killed himself.” And then he’d put his feet up on his desk and relax like nothing had happened — because he’s awesome.
You see, Fred Thompson gaze will melt the face of anyone who isn’t a true conservative. Something to keep in mind if you ever get to meet him in person.
(57 votes, average: 4.95 out of 5)
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October 29th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Why Hell… if the Fred! became the RNC Chair, I just might register with a party affiliation again. Republican of course. I’m not a hopeless retard with an IQ of 12.
October 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Will the occasional Libertarian leaning get my face melted, or just burned a little?
October 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
That would make me happier than seeing the Obamamessiah cast into the pits of Hell.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
That would be A W E S O M E !!!
Hagel’s face melting would be sprinkles on a great big bowl of ice cream.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
He does not have the energy. I think its demonstrable his cancer has slowed him. Witness the campaign that never was.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Fred! would need a much stronger title than “chair.” A chair is a piece of furniture. He would have to demand a better title, like “Headmaster of the RNC,” or simply “The Man.” His throne shall be made from the skulls of vanquished liberals, and he shall have at his disposal the power to kill with a simple gesture toward his team, which will be mostly former SEALs and Army Rangers.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
That is a fantastic idea. His counterpart would be Howard Dean. Would anybody else love to see that in a celebrity boxing/MMA match?
October 29th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Celebrity Death Match, Fred! vs. Howard Dean. For that, I’d spring for pay-per-view. And TiVo it. QAnd play it back. Over and over and over again.
That would NEVER get old.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
…even though it would last all of 14 seconds.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
It’s true that Fred doesn’t have the energy he used to. Now, he can only throw fifteen liberals into the sun at one time. He used to be able to do twenty.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
heh… Good Idea, but the RNC would have to hire someone to Taser him every time he fell asleep.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Wow… big ol’ smiles on here…
October 29th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Best
Idea
Ever
Maybe Fred! is lethargic because he hasn’t had anythign worthwhile to do.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
Mary Matlin, who worked on Fred Thompson’s campaign said, “Fred said the message will drive this campaign. Sadly there wasn’t a message delivery system in the campaign”. I would agree with her. Fred’s message of Federalism, and conservative values resonated with most of us. The problem was, the other people who don’t follow politics had no clue what he was talking about, or how it affected them.
You can see that Fred is trying to fix the communication issues. He took up writing for Townhall.com (He writes more frequently than he ever did for Redstate.com). He’s come out with several videos on a variety of issues, From support of John McCain to the absolute insanity of the Supreme Court to extend rights (that we citizens don’t even have) to terrorist at Gitmo. Fred Thompson has a commanding presence in video, but was never able to transfer his charisma to interviews and debates (with the exception of the Iowa debate). He’s given several good interviews recently in defense of McCain. He handled those interviews the way we wished he would have for himself.
Fred Thompson’s principals are exactly what the RNC needs. Now let’s see if Fred has the will to do what needs to get done to fix the conservative movement. From what I see, it won’t be easy.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I think he’s alot more frail than you realize.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
… I think he was just doing a presidential power fantasy to get Jerri all whipped up into a frenzy….. GeeSus if she was my wife I know I would be working all the fantasy angles……and women love power
October 29th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
FrankJ:
You and I agree! I also think that having Fred Thompson be RNC chair is the best idea ever.
Given his work ethic, the RNC would get nothing done while he was its Chairperson, other than perhaps have its leader appear on the Tonight Show on a quarterly basis.
With Fred at the helm of the opposition it would make it much easier for Obama to nationalize the means of production and create the egalitarian society that we all know is his secret goal.
Before you know it we will all be wearing the same set of clothes and singing The Internationale at baseball games!
Maybe the government will even own the banks. Oh yeah, that already happened.
Peace,
Monkey Faced Liberal
October 29th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
He already has a team, Paleo. Her name is Sally. She’s a Smith & Wesson Model 29.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Marko, if Fred is a little run down lately, well, who can blame him? Have you seen Jeri? Great God, Teh Fred! is one lucky man.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Fred doesn’t sit on a chair. He sits on a throne made out of skulls that were belched out by gigantic monster skulls. And he’s always on fire like that guy on the back of Wish You Were Here, so watch your grip.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
reward him for running an inept presidential campaign with chairmanship of the RNC?
well, it worked for Howard Dean . . .
October 29th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Watch yourself, Cadet, unless you want to become Cadet “Help! Fred Thompson’s throwing me into the sun!” Happy.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
i couldn’t resist
i’m still a little bitter over what a lousy job he did — it would have been nice if he had taken it seriously — i was never a “thompson guy”, but maybe i could have been
October 30th, 2008 at 12:07 am
So does this mean we might get some real conservatives in Congress? Will he hold the state organization’s collective feet to the fire to get them to hunt up some real conservatives to run for office? Will he slap Huckabee in his florid, bigoted, unconservative, unchristian face?
I’d pay good money to see that.
October 30th, 2008 at 7:41 am
“Are you a true conservative?” asked Fred Thompson as he ripped Senator Snow’s head off and stuffed it up her ass… No response is expected…
October 30th, 2008 at 7:44 am
“Ah, Hagel!” “We have a special place for you” said Fred Thompson who then ripped Hagel’s head off and stuffed it up Barney Frank’s ass!
October 30th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Fred Thompson as RNC chair? That’s an idea for which words like “awesome” aren’t awesome enough. Finally a chair who would wither liberals into a whinning quivering mass of Jello with just one look. OK, OK, liberals are already a whinning, quivering mass of jello, Fred would make them into a melted, flowing mass of quivering Jello.
Let’s hope the Republicans have the testicular mass to do this.
October 30th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
[...] of course, IMAO (home of Fred Thompson facts) felt the need to weigh in: Then whenever we have someone wanting to run for office as a Republican, he’d have to go meet [...]
October 30th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I had to come back to this post for some good old fashioned head rippin’ an’ stuffin’. Ladies and gentlemen: #25, #26, the one, the only, that famous head-ripper himself, just in from Minneapolusa, Minnesota, home of the giant horned mosquito, wait for it…
USSJIMMYCARTER !!!
And the crowd goes wild! Nuts actually… wildly ripping off the heads of nearby Democrats and stuffing them up other Democrat’s asses.
Woo hoo! Encore! More!
October 30th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Y’all are so ………anal.
You make me chuckle, tee hee hehehehehe.
October 30th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
Just good schtick, seanmahair. You must admit, it would make hillarious cartoons, kinda like the old Tom and Jerry cartoons.
October 31st, 2008 at 6:43 am
After Fred Thompson gets done ripping all RINOS heads off and stuffing… The next brilliant move shall be his appointment of Sarah Palin as the next nominee for POTUS with his wife Jerry as the VP selection for the super hottest babalicious extra right wing ticket ever!
November 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
[...] there’s talk of Fred Thompson challenging Steele for the RNC Chair. I already outlined why that would be awesome. I should also suggest me, though. For one, I was the first to declare myself the defacto leader of [...]