* If I connected an electrical cord to a squirrel, would that make a power squirrel or is it more complicated than that?
* I bet the first caveman who invented fire thought it was an angry spirit. I’m still not sure it isn’t.
* When my cat wants food, she cries and swats me. I once tried crying and swatting her, but instead of bringing me food she just hissed and jumped on top of the cabinet. What do we have a cat for?
* I know why we have a dog: She’s the doorbell interpreter. When the doorbell rings, she runs to the door yelling, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” to tell us people are there. Thanks, dog, we know what the doorbell means. If the Woo brothers from the Triad are ever at the door ready to kill me, she will seem prescient, though.
* In Knight Rider, they use talking car to help them fight crime, but I really think it would be more useful to the average guy stuck because then he’d have someone to talk to. I try calling my wife, but she’s always like, “I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE TRAFFIC!!” I hope the car is more considerate of my feelings.
* What do you think was the first hat? My guess is it was a turtle shell because that would help cavemen avoid head injuries when they played baseball.
* Why do people box kangaroos? I guess because they stand upright. That’s our thing! Other animals can’t do that. I guess if Tyrannosaurus Rexes were still around, we’d box them too. Ha! They’d be at such a disadvantage with those tiny little arms.
* When my wife and I walk the dog in the morning before sunrise, it’s dark but we can hear sheep baaing when we walk by a farm. Well, maybe it’s goats. It’s either sheep or goats. I hope it’s either sheep or goats.
* I bet it would be neat to show a caveman around our time and explain all our modern technology to him. Except, he probably wouldn’t know English and would try to hit me with a club and then I’d have to shoot him to death. There goes that afternoon.
* I know McCain could possibly win the election, but I’m kinda hyped for an Obama victory because I’m looking forward to going underground. BTW, tomorrow this site will be password protected. If you’re a real conservative, you’ll know what it is.