I Wonder How These People Did on Standardized Tests?
Want to have some wacky ballot fun? Who doesn’t! Go here and you can see some of the ballots being challenged in Minnesota and vote on what you think the outcome should be. My favorite is number six from day one. It’s pretty obvious who the guy was trying to vote for, but it’s also pretty obvious he should be sterilized.
If I had my way, any abnormal ballot would just be tossed. You’d think a lot of these people are really stupid, but even someone with a sixty IQ should be able to properly fill out one of these ballots if he really cared enough to make sure he did it right. They have people to ask questions to and you can get a second ballot if you mess up; if you disenfranchise yourself by going at the ballot like a crazed monkey, that’s your own fault. Democracy isn’t helped by knowing the opinion of people who can’t handle a simple form.
Anyway, another thing I noticed is the names of the parties under the candidates names. They’re all pretty normal — Independence, Republican, Libertarian, Constitution — except for Al Franken’s which says “Democratic-Farmer-Laborer”.
What kind of Commie crap is that?
“I am not politician. I am farmer/laborer. I am man of people!”
Al Franken is not a farmer or a laborer. Also, considering his actions during the recount, it’s disputable whether he’s Democratic… thought if they changed the ballot to say Democratic-Unhinged-Nutbag, I’d be fine with that.
(26 votes, average: 4.77 out of 5)
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November 21st, 2008 at 10:36 am
What kind of Commie crap is that?
“I am not politician. I am farmer/laborer. I am man of people!”
Well, you know, they voted for Mondale in ’84, so it’s not beyond them.
November 21st, 2008 at 10:57 am
Bell Curve. Far-left edge.
.
.
.
If I were a sarcastic SOB I’d make a gag about the irony of a mis-spelled word appearing in a post that mocks stupid people. Personally, I’m above that kind of low-brow humor.
[Hey, there's no spellcheck for the headline and I didn't have a lot of time this morning. -Ed.]
November 21st, 2008 at 10:59 am
I’m wondering about some of the people voting on that site, almost as much as I’m wondering about the people who cast the actual ballots. I also got quite a kick out of Day 1 #9 – “a Franken representative said what appear to be eraser marks over Franken’s bubble indicated the voter intended to vote for Franken.” So, erasing a mark on a ballot indicates intent to vote for that candidate???
November 21st, 2008 at 11:01 am
As long as not all ballots are legible, and there is a certain margin of error in tabulating them, and only a fraction of people vote anyway, I don’t even see why we bother with such a large sample size.
We should just get a big entropy pool and randomly select say, 5% of the electorate, to cast their votes. It will be much more manageable, cheaper, practically eliminate vote fraud, and, mathematically speaking, it should generate the same outcome.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:46 am
The ‘Lizard People’ ballot is a definite democratic party vote. After all, Franken does speak with a forked tongue.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:49 am
Wow, Nancy Pelosi must not be happy with that “Lizard People” write-in. That’s still supposed to be a secret. When she decides the time is write, they’ll peel off that fake skin on camera and reveal their true identities to us all…and she’ll look better as a lizard.
November 21st, 2008 at 11:53 am
Maybe he just labors hard to farm Democrat votes. At this he’s surely out standing in his field. Ba da ding. [Thump]
November 21st, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Hangs head in shame…yes we here in Minnesota have people who are that dumb! I see them every day while driving to work. Typically, they are driving their sensible cars (never a domestic) in the left lane at about 5 mph under the posted, while maintaining a death-grip at 10 and 2, front seat fully forward – nose almost pressed against the glass, Minnesota Public Radio blasting out pro-Franken tripe hourly, “Imagine Peace” and “Wellstone” bumper stickers proudly displayed on rear deck! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
November 21st, 2008 at 12:03 pm
My favorite one is where the Franken representative challenged the one with a line through Franken’s name, claiming the voter “intended to underline ‘Al Franken’ to show his support”.
I say, anyone too stupid to correctly fill out a ballot has no buisness voting.
November 21st, 2008 at 12:07 pm
The reason in Minnesota it is called the “Democratic Farmer Labor Party” Goes back to when people still had third party choices. In Minnesota, there was an extremely powerful third party called the “Farmer Labor Party”, which had actually a strong representation within the government. Seeing a similarity in policy, the Democrats moved to form a political merger between their parties. After a while, a deal was struck: The Farmer Labor Party would officially be considered the Democrat Party and caucus with them, but they would still get to keep the name. So, the Farmer Labor party became the Democratic Farmer Labor Party. For all intents and purposes, the DFL IS The Democrats entirely, but they keep the name for tradition’s sake.
November 21st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
2008 is the year of the empty suits shoving into US government offices with the aid of George Soros…Both Fists Al is forcing unwilling Minnesota residents to give him a paycheck and pretend that he has something to say that matters.
It seems that this B list Comedy writer, after losing his day job decided that he was really cut out to be a senator after all…
please go back to New York, Both Fists Al, I’ll pay for the plane to get you out of the state.
November 21st, 2008 at 12:49 pm
[Hey, there's no spellcheck for the headline and I didn't have a lot of time this morning. -Ed.]
That’s OK. At least you’re funny. That’s more than I can say. Nobody likes me.
November 21st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Al Franken could have wrapped this whole thing up if he had just joined the Suplex Party and worn a feather boa, – like I told him to.
November 21st, 2008 at 1:19 pm
*** Breaking News ***
Fred Thompson Returns to Acting, Drops RNC Bid
In other areas, it’s reported that Frank J. plans to return to blogging and give up any notion of running the new Republican Underground which still has no symbol, theme or content.
November 21st, 2008 at 1:42 pm
speaking as an election judge: first off 99% of thoes ballots would have been kicked out of my counter when the voter puts them. i then look at the paper that the counter spits out givivng the reason for the ballot rejection. i inform the voter of the reason and tell them they can get a new ballot 90% of thoes people tell me they dont want one and just put it through and i push a button and it gets sent in and the affected area of the ballot does not get counted. people are stupid. very simple most need to be clubed, sterilized and have their right to vote taken away. i do not condone punching hippies, a stout piece of oak gets my point across much better
November 21st, 2008 at 2:17 pm
wow. this is amazing.
i couldn’t even get through all of the examples, though i did make it to “lizard people”- always a nice option on a ballot, i say.
this may be a stretch, but the way i was taught is that if you mark or disturb the ballot in ANY way other than the instructed manner, your ballot will be rejected. this is why they have PILES of paper ballots at the polling place. you can just say “oops- i need a do-over”. if i was in charge of this i would toss each and every last F’d up ballot into the paper shredder:
“sorry, chaps- you invalidated your ballots when you scribbled all over them like kindergarteners.”
November 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Frank J,
Why do you seem to believe that every single voter had standardized bubble tests when they went to school? Go talk to your Granny and Great-Granny before you make more posts making yourself look clueless and stupid. Of course there are plenty of folks who NEVER took a bubble test in school.
But don’t let us older people get in the way of your silly ranting. Or bother acknowledging your own own mistakes…..
November 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
The liberal illuminati types are pretty good at making up categories. You know Obama has “the office of the president elect” for the first time. I should call myself a farmer, too. Or how about maybe a rocket scientist?
November 21st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Franken was born in New York, the son of Phoebe G. Kunst….so, his name should be A. Kunst-
Franken…I guess liberals only hyphenate their names when it doesn’t allow people to say things like..”that Kunst-Franken is committing voter fraud.”Franken had a Jewish upbringing (that’s secret code for Zionist) I thought hard core liberals hated them, maybe just the black ones.
He appeared in the 2004 re-make of The Manchurian Candidate. HOW ironic!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:18 pm
“Democratic-Unhinged-Nutbag”
I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about that.
I guess it’s either laugh or think about the scary fact that the unhinged nutbag might actually end up making our laws.
I choose laugh. Thank you for supplying the humor.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Why do you seem to believe that every single voter had standardized bubble tests when they went to school?
ok, even though I don’t see where he said that anywhere, he should have said, since most people stupid enough to vote for someone like A.Kunst-Franken are probably under 50, they have probably taken (and scored very low on) standardized bubble tests.
November 21st, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Awwwwwwww…..yeah mon we just gots Hillary in da house tnigh!!! All ya conservative folks just back off now cuzz weza rollin out the carpet big time for the Clinton expertise and excitement. That’s it yo! That’s it for the Limbaugh conservative power grab. It is no more! We get all the supreme picks for the next eight at least as Obama-Clinton-Biden fix this nation and fix this here planet for true good. Stuff that fried crow right into your liar mouths whiner whiner righteez.
Yo!
Pump up the jam pump it up
A pump it up yo pump it
Pump up the jam pump it up
A pump it up yo pump it
Pump up the jam pump it up
A pump it up yo pump it
Pump up the jam
Pump it pump it pump it pump it, Yo!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Ha ha no kidding HillaryJamTimesYo. Ditto Heads power grab FAIL!! With Hillary in and Obama moving to the middle there is nothing to stop the Dems from retaining power in 2012 and keeping the nation chugging right a long on a slow progressive course. Gay marriage legal? You bet. Ebryonic stem cell research – gonna happen. Save the animals – yessir! Stop the drilling – yup! Clean air – hell yeah! No religious bs in schools – yes! Abortion is legal – of course! Miranda rights – yessy! Balance the budget – right on! Leave Iraq, kill Bin Laden and destroy the Taliban – we will do it! Make Limbaugh and Michelle Malkin miserable for years – YES WE CAN!!
November 21st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
One would think.. that with age would come wisdom.. of at least enough common freaking sense to read and pay atterntion to any directions given… or maybe even just enough sense to ask a simple ‘How do I do this” question. Seems to me the effort extended to get to the poll would motivate a individual to ensure that thier vote was at least counted…… unless of course they are STOOPID OLD people…
So spare me the false “I’m offended” line of poo poo cacky… it dont float..
November 21st, 2008 at 4:01 pm
On another note.. if Obama’s cabinet is mostly Clintonista’s and Clinton is sec state making most of the foreign affairs decision….. maybe you should have just voted for Hillary to begin with….. thats what you are ending up with anyway…… Oh I know.. the office of POTUS is strictly symbolic now .. right? So I guess you really didnt want a black man in power… just a symbol of a black man…..
November 21st, 2008 at 4:15 pm
And Hillary is just a symbol of a white woman. In fact, it’s questionable whether she’s a woman at all.
Cackle, cackle, cackle.
Sheeeeeeee’s Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:26 pm
To HillaryJamTimesYo and Drake,
Which one of you is the host twin, and which is the parasitic twin? Do you dress in matching suits with bow ties? Is the parasitic twin detachable? If so, how long can you survive without returning to your sibling to feed? I’m truly fascinated by aberrations of nature such as you.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Start Now Refining Your Coping Skills…
I’m assembling my armory of coping devices for Jan. 22, 2009. I do own these objects, and I am not ashamed.
Exhibit A: The Fun Meter
Integral to improving the attitude of those around you.
Take my word for it, these babies make……
November 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm
“If I were a sarcastic SOB I’d make a gag about the irony of a mis-spelled word appearing in a post that mocks stupid people. Personally, I’m above that kind of low-brow humor.”
I think you misspelled “mis-spelled,” seriously.
November 21st, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Frank! Quit ducking me!
You will listen to my Obama-mockery song; do not defy my musically-conservative force-of-nature located at http://www.patriotmusiconline.com (“Hope Makes the Terrorists Dead”).
November 21st, 2008 at 5:00 pm
The republicans up here used to call themselves the Independent-Republican party. Just shows how far left this state is.
November 21st, 2008 at 5:27 pm
We really shouldn’t pillory shrillary,
Even though her breath is like a distillery,
With her butt as as big as a bucket,
She would make most folks up chuck~it,
Are we surprised that she is so billiary?
November 21st, 2008 at 6:11 pm
“weza rollin out the carpet big time for the Clinton expertise”
Somehow, I’m willing to bet a different thing came to my mind when you mentioned “Clinton expertise” than came to your mind.
“With Hillary in and Obama moving to the middle there is nothing to stop the Dems from retaining power in 2012 and keeping the nation chugging right a long on a slow progressive course.”
. . . Except for the fact they hate each other and will stab each other in the back at every opportunity, providing us countless hours of entertainment.
Anyway – I hope this kind of thing makes you feel better when you’re unemployed.
November 21st, 2008 at 6:47 pm
HillaryJamTimesYo/Drake must be some lonely 59 year old overweight fattie euro trash wanta be in stained lederhosen sitting in front of a filth covered 9x pc, ( oops, more likely an old Apple) that floated over from Huff post to do a drive by on us evil rightwing extremists. He/she/it must be sooo proud. And probably too busy now browsing kiddie porn and playing with itself to come back for more fun.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Al Franken already had his own decade, for Hillary’s sake. And that was decades ago. He owes it to us (God bless us everyone) to GO AWAY.
I kind of like Hillary as … whatever. She would at least annihilate Iran under the right conditions.
November 21st, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Look at the bright side. Obama’s politics will make him best buddies with Raul Castro, and with Hillbillary’s expertise in the matter, we’ll be up to our oval orifices in cheap Cuban cigars very shortly.
November 22nd, 2008 at 12:45 am
#4 – Dr. Mayhem,
I like your idea!
Make voting more like being called to jury duty!
You get a letter telling you to appear at your local polling place, watch a brief video provided by each candidate telling you why they think you should vote for them, and then vote.
If there are alot of candidates, you get a break for lunch; and in any event you get a note to give to your boss saying he has to pay you for taking a day off from work.
Unlike jury deliberations, you don’t have to discuss the pros and cons of each candidate with the other electors, and no one gets to know how you finally voted.
Court baliffs or Federal Marshals could make sure no one tried to tamper with or intimidate the electors.
No more excruciatingly drawn out, multi-million dollar campaigns.
The candidates would put everything they had into their video messages, so they’d probably be higher quality and more entertaining than SuperBowl commercials!
The order of presentation could be radomized at each polling place so no candidate would have an over-all advantage because of placement.
Heck! This sounds like much more fun than being selected for a jury!
In a trial, you only get to play god over the life of one defendant; as an elector, your votes would shape the fates of millions!
I suppose the politicians could still fight it out the old-fashioned way in the primaries, but the general election would be a much quieter, and hopefully more honest event.
Fewer voters, less chance of voter fraud, and each elector who showed up would be double-checked to ensure their eligibility to vote!
Sigh…
Jesse Ventura, Al Franken… What will Minnesota drag up next?
November 22nd, 2008 at 7:21 am
What do you mean he’s not a farmer? Franken spreads more manure than all the farmers in the Midwest put together!
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Look at Day 2, Ballot 1. Am I the only one who thinks that says “Bad men” rather than “Bachmen”? There seems to be a pretty distinct space before the M, and I can see a D just as well as I can see a CH.
Also, the choices for Day 2, Ballot 4 are either “No, it’s an identifying mark,” or “Yes, it’s just a scribble.” How are we supposed to decide when they blur it out??
November 24th, 2008 at 8:19 am
How many people need to go away for Hillary to become POTUS? Not that many if she is Sec. of State! Muhwhahahahahahahahah!
November 24th, 2008 at 8:27 am
>#40. ussjimmycarter says:
>November 24th, 2008 at 8:19 am
>How many people need to go away for Hillary to become POTUS? Not that many if she is Sec. of State!
You’re right:
* Vice President
* Speaker of the House
* President pro tempore of the Senate
* Secretary of State
* Secretary of the Treasury
* Secretary of Defense
* Attorney General
* Secretary of the Interior
* Secretary of Agriculture
* Secretary of Commerce
* Secretary of Labor
* Secretary of Health and Human Services
* Secretary of Housing and Urban Development
* Secretary of Transportation
* Secretary of Energy
* Secretary of Education
* Secretary of Veterans Affairs
* Secretary of Homeland Security
Scary just who might be filling all those positions.
November 24th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Republican Underground which still has no symbol, theme or content.
#14, I still have the web pages I created, with no place to upload to, but I won’t keep them forever.
As for content, we do still need lots of essays on the various issue topics, as well as filling in the gaps on identifying conservative candidates, and naming non-ones.