Presidential Election Prediction Talk

Posted on November 4, 2008 2:59 pm

Since everyone under the sun, it seems, is predicting the election outcome and its fallout I am compelled to do the same.

Daring anyone to prove me wrong….. I predict that:

  1. Our new President-elect will be male, human and over 35. It will be person who spent a significant portion of their younger years in Asia. Possibly, just possibly even a natural born American citizen who has lived on American soil for 8 or more years.
  2. Our new Vice President-elect will have at the same number of X chromosomes as there are syllables in their day-by-day nicknames. Furthermore this individual will be a parent to multiple children, one serving in the armed forces.
  3. In no particular order, McCain and Obama will easily be the top two vote getters.
  4. Bob Barr (Libertarian) will be a distant but respectable third.
  5. The advanced alien life forms who manipulate us at their whim will have a good laugh in their giant hidden sub-ocean outposts. Admittedly this one will be the hardest to verify.
  6. People will be glad this crap is over until they realize it never… really… is.
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11 Responses to “Presidential Election Prediction Talk”

  1. Jimmy says:

    Biden’s nickname is Joey?

  2. Spyndrilleum says:

    You may be glad it’s over, but wouldn’t it be better to endure a perpetual Obama/McCain campaign rather than actually give the keys to The One?

  3. Ringmaster says:

    More Monkey Posts!

  4. Jimmy says:

    I really think Basil has the answer to all of this. He’s been studying the physics of our Bizarro World for some time now.

  5. PaleoMedic says:

    I predict that the president-elect will be unable to do pushups.

    (that sounds a little mean, now that I write it out loud. I think McCain could knock out a couple, despite his war wounds. He’s got that old-man strength)

  6. Jenn says:

    WOW, that’s incredible, I’ll bet you’re tight on ALL of those!!! WOW. Thanks. :)

  7. Jimmy says:

    There are no errors in the spacemonkey logic here. But, who was it that said:

    “To err is human. To really screw-up requires a… spacemonkey.

    Sounds like something Frank would say.

  8. cptnmoroni says:

    I predict that:

    * Win or lose, Joe Biden’s foot will have to be surgically removed from his esophagus.

    * I predict that a news anchor or reporter for a major network will be seated at a desk with a small white board and a green marker trying to add electoral college votes.

    * Another anchor or reporter will also mention the phrases “a hard-fought race” and “most negative campaign in history” within 30 seconds of each other without cracking a smile.

    * At least one network will make reference to the difference in the exit polling data and the actual results.

    * The polls in Arkansas will close at 8:30 PM Eastern Time while some Alaskans will still be able to vote until 1 AM Eastern Time tomorrow morning.

    * I will be severely depressed, no matter who wins the presidency.

  9. Amer-I-Can says:

    Like the energizer bunny, this will just keep going…. and going… and going…

  10. Jimmy says:

    I predict that marathon House is on the USA cable network all evening long. Now, I’ve got to get my TV and computer in the same room so I can watch it and read the live blog at Ace Hot Air Rachel Lucas IMAO.

  11. Son of Bob says:

    I can safely predict that the new president will be a liberal.

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