Thank gawd my Baretta FS 92 (purchased in Houston, TX) arrived….and despite the hassles from the State it is now in my house. Rounds will be fired regularly to maintain proficiency. That being said, my full time job will be continued smart-ass cheekiness aimed at those Volvo/Hybrid/Lexus driving dilettantes I am surrounded by while I continue the real work of sabotaging and dismantling the Peoples Republic. It’s bad around here, folks…

My center is collapsing, and my flanks are in complete dissarray. Situation excellent; I am attacking!

I strongly recommend the AK-47. Light recoil, customizable, low maintenance. When you absolutely, positively have to shoot every commie in the room, accept no substitute. (its also fun to use their own weapon against them)

Ref: Girls & Guns. You don’t need your own. Just get your husband to teach you to shoot. Then you can pick up any shotgun, rifle, glock, or revolver that happens to be in the corner of the room you’re in, and you’re ready. And if you can unload and load one in < a minute, guys think you’re hot.

I thank you for your comments to our basher (Sulamie, you are not alone!). I commented back. And owe you 2 cents. Oh wait, is there tax on that now?

cptn moroni (#50):

+1 Bersa 380 Thunder – esp. for small hands

Second, guns are not toys, kiddies.

If you are going to own one, then shoot it regularly. Nothing is more dangerous than someone scared of guns needing to know what they’re doing when something goes bump in the night. If you are going to keep guns in the house, then you need to shoot each of them at least three times a year. If you are going to carry a gun, then you better haul you ass to a range at least once a month and shoot at 50-100 rounds through each gun you carry.

If you can’t make a committment to proficiency and safety with your firearms, then stick to baseball bats and tire irons. This is not something to take lightly. Does it get expensive to shoot your firearms enough that you stay proficient? Hell, yes it does! But think of it as the cost of freedom.

Oh yeah, I live in Texas, so Kent, if you try splitting our state up into little bitty pieces, you will see just how many Texans exercise their 2nd Amendment right. It’s a pretty good bet too, that even those people that aren’t licensed to carry a concealed weapon are carrying one anyway…just so you know. God bless Texas!

Cheers!
Mitch Rapp

For the last 12 years I have carried a firearm nearly every day of my life and I’m not a cop. I’m a 33 year old God-fearing citizen with a wife and two kids who cherishes life and the Constitution.

Hey IMAOers? FWIW, you all are the main reason that I have smiled, even laughed, since Tuesday. You rock.

We’ll get through the next LOOOOOONG four years together, I hope.

IMAO truly is even a unique niche, isn’t it? I know of other conservative blogs of course, but not conservative humor ones.
And we’ll need all the laughter we can get.

Thanks all, sincerely from the heart of my bottom. Carry on.

footnote: My instructors warned me that if I ever do shoot someone, even in self-defense, even if the authorities rule it a justifiable shooting, even if the Mayor pins a medal on me for ridding the community of a mother-stabbing, father-raping monster; I Will get sued.
So I paid $26.00/month for Pre-Paid Legal insurance.
Just in case.
(they also do wills, contracts and other legal documents).

Thanks Frank. This is an excellent display of awesomeness. Fred would be proud. And when I write proud, I don’t mean in a “gay pride – look at me daddy! I’ll bet this makes you mad!” kind of way. I mean pride like an angry and vengeful Old Testament god looking down on the hairless monkeys worshiping you, and marveling that a small group has stopped eating their own poo.

Nadine – Go to a practice range that rents pistols. Find a few that fit your hand comfortably, and then give them a try on the range to see which ones you like. The 1911 is an awesome weapon, but is too large for many women, and has a fairly strong recoil. My ex really liked the Colt .380. Added bonus – she worked in a dangerous neighborhood, so a small weapons like the .380 is perfect because they are easily concealed. For cheap, small, with weak recoil, try a .22.
Shotguns are great for home defense, but have way too much kick for most women. Some shotguns will bruise your shoulder after only one shot. If you practice with a shotgun, be sure to use a shooting pad to absorb some of the recoil. I suppose there are nancy-boy shotguns without powerful recoils, but that kind of defeats the purpose of having a shotgun. Have fun.

By the way, Mass is your new name – you shouldn’t have a name so long that it can’t possibly be written in your state.

Give everyone guns, with one amendment
Truthfully, some people should not have a gun. My ex-wife for example. I’d be dead by now because her mother wore too much makeup and my ex said something about it and started a fight. That said, if you give a gun to a hippie and they say “oh, I don’t like guns”, then feel free to take it from him and shoot him with it. Now you have two guns and one less hippie. Everyone wins.

By the way, if Obama is anything like the Clinton Administration and the so called “Peace Dividend”, save up your pennies because while it will be harder to get a Glock, purchasing a Cobra attack helecopter for the price of the aluminum may be fairly easy. No lie. They cut them in half and called that demilitarizing, but then people just welded them together. Some guy in Texas had about a dozen in a warehouse, and some other guy in Montana was using one to shoot coyotes on his ranch. I think it was a US News and World Report article at the time. Get em before the Chinese do! Again, like last time.

Anyone taking money from Arabs should be disqualified from public office
That includes most of everyone from every administration since Nixon. And especially people like Colon Powell, who got a Jaguar as a retirement present. I’m sure Obama is no exception.

Anyone going to college should be required to read CS Lewis and GK Chesterton, along with “The Closing of the American Mind”, so they know what they are about to deal with
I’ve already pointed out how “Screwtape Proposes a Toast” is an outline of modern education’s main failures and liberalism’s chief destructive ability. Chesterton and others have humorously and accurately predicted how insane education camps have become. I hate sending our kids into places blind and having them graduate, much like scientogists, $100K poorer and basically insane.

its our 2nd Amendment, and not everyone can afford a personal firearm. The govt should spread some of the firepower around to those of us who have fewer than 250k guns.

I can top that, #35. My state (Nevada) WAS red, but went blue on Tuesday.
And we’re stuck with Harry Reid too, who was already in office before I moved here so no one better blame me for that one either.

Frank, looking for slogans?

*”We never met a liberal we wouldn’t punch.”

*”Able to drop liberals at 400 yards!”

*”We love the smell of gunpowder early in the morning…it smells like…America!”

*”Run, Hippie! Run!”

*”Like the Republican party, but without all the RINO’s.”

*God, Guns and the Constitution!”

Theme songs:

“Hit Between the Eyes” by the Scorpions

“March of the S.O.D. / Sergeant D” by S.O.D.

“Hook in Mouth” by Megadeth, though replace PMRC with DNC

F is for fighting
R is for red,
Our ancestor’s blood in the battles they shed

E we elect ‘em
E we eject ‘em
In the land of the free and the home of the brave

D is for dying
O your overture
M they will cover your grave in manure

This spells out FREEDOM, means nothing to me
as long as there’s a DNC!