All I want for Christmas is…

Remember the movie A Christmas Story? The main character, Ralphie, wanted “an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time.”

And, at the end of the movie, he got it.

Remember Peggy Joseph? She’s the woman who said that, because of Obama, wouldn’t have to worry about putting gas in her car or have to worry about her mortgage.

She thinks he’s Santa Claus.

Well, so do most Americans, it seems. They voted him as the next president.

In the spirit of those American classics — A Christmas Story and Barack Obama — I’m wondering what you want Obama to bring you for Christmas.

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  1. Dear SaBama,

    I have been a good boy all yeer, and I would like a pony, a pocket knife, expansion of liberty for individual citizens, the transfer of Federal Power to the States, and a significant reduction in the size of our bloated bureaucracy along with a concomintant reduction of our Federal tax burden….oh yeah, I forgot, I also want a Red Ryder BB gun.



  2. Dear Anti-Christ,oh sorry I’m mean Santabama,
    I would like honest politicians (I know an oxy moron)
    Real Christians
    An end to illegal immigration
    Real education in public schools
    Drug dealers in jail

    World Peace

    Since you are the messiah you should be able to do that, no prob. Right?

  3. My father, age 96, vetran of WWII, Father of 4 sons and 4 daughters, and the strongest, most honest, most patient, wisest, best-humored and well-respected man I’ve ever known passed away shortly after midnight, today, Dec. 21st, 2008.
    He died in his sleep at home, cared for by his wife, sons and daughters.
    To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and I know he was ready to go because he told us so; so I’m not grieved for his sake.
    We should all meet an end as peaceful.

    My father won’t be witness to what the nation he fought and lived for may become in the
    next 4 years. I guess even the darkest cloud can have a silver lining.

    “It may happen to any of us at any moment. In the twinkling of an eye, in a time too small to be measured, and in any place, all that seems to divide us from God can flee away, vanish, leaving us naked before Him, like the first man, like the only man, as if nothing but He and I existed. And since that contact cannot be avoided for long, and since it means either bliss or horror, the business of life is to Learn To Like It. That is the first and great commandment.”
    – C.S. Lewis, Dogma and the Universe, 1942.

    “First work, Then play!”
    – My Dad

  4. Dear Santabamabamalingling,

    All I want for Christmas is comedy from your administration. Deliver the funny and we will be ok! You have started out good but need to keep the jokes coming. Hillary and Bubba at State is a most excellent start. Your pal, the Gov. of Ill. is keeping the jokes flowing. So far you get an A-, and we are confident that as your team takes office my Christmas wish will be fulfilled this year!

    Thanks! You’re the best ever!

  5. 124 of 7

    I know what you mean,( I lost my husband to the affects of Agent orange that he came in contact with in Vietnam,) he died December 1 after midnight and like your father he was at peace.
    I am so glad he will not be around to see what happens to this great country that he served for over twenty years.
    My condolences to you and your family and may the God that giveth and taketh away give you peace this Christmas!!!!

  6. A nice old lady with a lot of money and a heart condition who’s looking to marry a geek in late middle age.

    And, if it’s not asking too much, the replacement of both my US Senators and my congresscreature (Anna Eshoo).

  7. Dear Comrade Snowbama:

    I’d like the following things that you promised me for Christmas:

    A. A condo in one of the following Chicago neighborhoods: Lakeview, Lincoln Park, or Wicker Park. Evanston is also acceptable.

    B. A full ride to a top 20 MBA program. I’d also like to not finish my application; I hate writing essays.

    C. A six figure job in downtown Chicago that requires about the same amount of work as you seem to do in a day (i.e. minimal).

  8. I am hoping for a Queen Lateefer Life Size Plus Love Doll. Mainly because if he puts one of those in the sleigh there will be no room for anything else and therefore prevent bankrupture of the entire country due to all the other givaways it prevents. You see I am a true patriot. Either that or a sex transplant because the only job I will be able to get will be at the Bunny Ranch in Nevada. That reminds me I need to get the tranny in my car looked at.

  9. I would like a return to the personal freedoms and liberty originally envisioned by our founding fathers. Also some discipline, morality, and ethics for the rest of the country. And while you are at it, I wouldn’t mind being able to be able to eat, own property, and go to graduate school. I could do all three on my current salary if I were allowed to keep it, but since you clearly know how to spend my money better than I will ever be able to I thought I could at least give some breath to my wishes, not that politicians pay any attention to the wishes of the populace but air at least is still free.

  10. Dear Satanbama,

    For Christ….err…I mean for the Winter Holiday, I would like to see Governess Queen Christy of Washington State out of office, pronto. While your at that, I would like to see all those traitorous, Hugo Chavez loving Hollyweirdos kicked out of this country along with the other Commies. Than, I would like you and your Euro-socialist friends out of the capital as well! Oh…and I want a PlayStation 3 bundled with Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune.


  11. For Christmas I would like to have one of those money trees that you seem to be growing somewhere. (Although I am not sure if I have enough bullshit to keep it fertilized. Can I borrow some of yours?)

  12. Dear Obama please grant the wonderful blessing of GWB being out of office since he is Hitler incarnate….(friend whispers in my ear)…oh wait yeah he’s leaving office anyways…umm how about a hungry hungry hippoes board game?

  13. Presents for others:


    Ussjimmycarter: a fresh box of butt covers with mosquito repellent
    Seanmahair: an epiphany (or a job for the hubby)
    PeleoMedic: a holiday attack by conservatives
    Socrates: A Greek-English dictionary (what?)
    DesertElephant: An oasis with no aliens
    AlanABQ: A close encounter of the ____ kind
    MarcoMancuso: Some kind of wizard (you need help)
    Silicon Valley Jim: A nice old lady with a lot of money and a heart condition who’s looking to marry a geek in late middle age.

    (If I left you out, that’s a good thing.)

    Frank J: An interest in blogging
    Sarah K: Declawed cats
    Harvey: Time for blogging and a snow shovel in your stocking
    Cadet: No more nightmares
    Basil: A doctorate degree in the history of computing
    Spacemonkey: An Obama doll
    RightWingDuck: A left wing
    Scary Evil Monkey: Plastic surgery

  14. I would like a new AR-15…6 position collapsible stock, Hogue grips, Picatinny rail on the top only. But I’d like for it to also resemble a Red Ryder BB gun so Barack Hussein Obama gets confused and doesn’t try to take it away.


  15. Dear Santaobamaourgreatandgloriousleadermayheliveforever

    I would like to request for my friend Jimmy a special appointment as Under Secretary of State to one Hillary Clinton. The operative word for this most important job is Under…as in Under Hillary’s desk where Jimmy shall remain poised to “take one for the team” at all times 24x7x365! Can you line this up for me please. Thanks!

  16. Dear Saint Nickobama,

    At this time of year, poor people in Minnesota could use a good fleece to protect them from the cold (and cold-hearted Republicans!). Could you please deliver a good fleecing to ussjimmycarter on Christmas? You’ll recognize him because he not only lives in Minnesota, but he drives a mini De Soto, has a “Go Hillary!” bumper sticker frozen on it and works with computers. He’s one of those IT guys. You can’t miss his house because it’s lined with gay, nancing Christmas lights spelling out your name with twinkling precision! Fleece him good, Sants – he loves taking it up the…

    Jingle Bells, Carter smells,
    Jimmy all the way,
    Oh what fun is to ride,
    In a one arse open sleigh…

    Ho ho ho. (*horn sound*)

  17. Dear Brother Comrade Santabama Claushusaine,

    All I want for Ch******, I mean, Winter Solstice is Texas, a peaceful secession from the USA, and international recognition for my newly-formed nation, the New Republic of Texas. A controlling stake in Ford would be nice, too. I would also like three nuclear reactors *without* IAEA oversight.

    Thank you, and G** bl*** the USA and the NRT;
    Brandon, future Chancellor of the New Republic of Texas

  18. Dear Santabamalamadingdong,

    I would like a ray gun so that I can vaporize anyone in front of me on I-15 that does not know how to drive over 55 mph (and/or Liberals and RINOs, and/or anyone who in general pisses me off), and oh yeah no speed limit or bag limit laws either. You’re good at bending rules and looking out for your own interests, so this simple request should be no problem for you to deliver during this season of giving.

    If you can’t deliver that, then please bring the Prize Patrol to my front door. Someone’s gonna win, might as well be me.

    I have been a good conservative this year and look forward to your visit; I’ll have a plate of arugula waiting.

  19. #21 – Cataalex, #22 – nightfly, #34 – Amer-I-can,
    Thank you and God bless you too.
    God bless us, everyone!
    I couldn’t have flown to see my dad one last time if a guy at work hadn’t heard that I was planning to take the train and offered to buy me a round-trip ticket with his frequent-flyer miles instead.
    Another friend had offered me a free-ticket on a particular airline but they didn’t fly to the city I was bound for.
    At work they passed the hat and raised $150 to help with incidentals.
    My brother called me tonight and told me that he and his family would be able to fly home for the funeral because a man at his church offered to buy their tickets.
    That’s the difference between real charity and government hand-outs.
    No bureaucracy, no red-tape, no waste.
    We weren’t asking for anything from anybody; it just happened.
    No moral, no punch-line, no conclusion. It just happened.
    But it helps.

  20. 4 of 7 – My condolences. It sounds like Dad of 8 lived a good long life, and raised his sons well enough that the people around them are inspired to give. My 90 year old grandfather was on a ship in Pearl Harbor Dec 7, 1941. Don’t give up hope for their country. They would kick our butts if they thought we had stopped fighting the good fight. God bless.

  21. 4 of 7
    So sorry to hear of your father’s passing. You are in our thoughts and prayers! It is a tough time to lose someone you love, however knowing that they are indeed with the Lord upon hearing those words “Well done my good and faithful servant” we can have a measure of comfort and hope. God Bless you and your family this Christmas!

  22. I want my Country back.
    And a NFA legal M60E3.
    And peace and comfort for 4of7 and Cataalex. Do not doubt that your loved ones have found peace and freedom in another place.
    I hope that the true joy of Christmas finds it’s way into your hearts at this most trying time.

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  25. #50 – ussjimmycarter, #51 – RightWingKiller,
    Like HCG said above, our fathers and grandfathers (and other loved ones) faced far worse trouble than a Chicago law professor with delusions of adequacy.
    Guided by their experience and inspired by their example, and remembering that the ultimate Victory has already been won, we’ll deserve a royal boot-in-the-tush if we don’t overcome our current crop of problems.
    I felt pretty low there for the last few days, but I’m coming back up now.
    I shall endeavor to persevere!

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