Another Flying Mystery *UPDATED*

On the Northwest planes I flew on this weekend, the overhead compartments all had a sticker on them that said “Latch Bin Closed.” The sticker is on the inside so it is concealed when the latch is closed, i.e., the overhead compartments have a sticker saying “Latch Bin Closed” that is only visible when the latch is open. Why?

UPDATE:

I guess I was reading it wrong and it’s actually a command. “Latch [the] bin closed.” To which I say, “Who the hell do they think they are?” All that hassle with airlines, and now they have the overhead compartments bossing me around? Latch your own damn bins!

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43 Comments

  1. You know how when you buy things, they sometimes have an “inspected by” sticker? This is the same thing. It just so happens those particular overhead compartments were inspected by a Saudi named “Latch Bin Closed” (pronounced LAH-teh Bin CLO-sed)

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  2. Bureaucracy is parsimonious with words and meanings in a way it is NOT with money and regulations.

    You’ve seen the street signs – “Slow Children.” When I was in grade school, I thought that was unnecessarily cruel. But the bureaucrats REALLY meant “(Drive) Slow(ly to protect) Children (at play).

    Likewise the label save ink and hides the meaning, a double play for regulatory hacks.

    It SHOULD really say “Keep the latch bin closed once bombs and/or weapons are stowed.”

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  3. You’ve seen that Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner, right? Well, that sign is for the Gremlin that lives on each plane. They put it in a different overhead compartment on every flight, and it needs to know for sure that the compartment is latched and closed.

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  4. Damn Frank, why didn’t you say you overheard some pinhead with an Obama/Ayers lapel pin scratching his graying faux dreadlocks in confusion over the “Latch” sticker? Now my sense of condescending superiority is confused and I hate that.
    I mean, why we don’t have an imperative tense in our language!
    When you want someone to do something, you have to add an interjection!
    ex.
    “Hey s***head! Latch the f***ing door closed so it doesn’t pop open in mid-flight and let a 40lb. carry-on fall on the beverage cart before I get my m*****f***ing watered-down drink and I have to go monkeysh*t on you people.”

    Merry Christmas Frank, and to all you other whack-jobs too.
    Have a kick-ass New Year and God bless every last one of you whether you like it or not.

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  5. “Latch Bin Closed” means you can’t get in the Latch Bin. It’s closed. You’ll have to find your Latches elsewhere.

    “Latches” is actually Dutch for “The Bar.” Just like the Urban Dictionary defines the Dutch name “Fleming” as:

    1. Fleming

    One of the most straightest people in the world.
    “Wow i feel like a fleming.”

    2. Fleming

    One who doesn’t understand jokes and forever states the obvious.
    “That’s the joke, Fleming.”

    3. fleming

    A Homosexual obsessed with scat.
    “Did you hear Mike is a Fleming.”

    There. I’ve done my research for the day.

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  6. First, you flew Northwest? Only Homosexuals and retards fly Northwest! Since you could obviously read the label might I suggest you spend some time in either the Loring Park area or the always lovely Gay 90’s nightclub! Either offers chances for a good Christmas “buggerin’ a plenty”!!!

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  7. C’mon, this is an obviously simple thing. Just think like a damn liberal. As a helper, imagine not long in the future all buckets will be required to have an arrow and some stupid statment indicating which end is the open one. If the idiot moonbat messiah needs instructions on how to remove a bucket from his head, how much worse off are his minions when they get trapped in the overhead bin?

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  8. I was actually tempted to reply with an explanation and an accompanying derogatory comment.

    Then I thought better of it (especially since others had already done a much better job) and decided to make a humorous play on words which I note has also already been done.

    That left only “commenting on others comments” (which I’ve sort of already done) or leaving a long rambling comment about how maybe I’m not so “fast” and should change my name (which I’m not going to do because I’ve already invested so much time in getting an avatar of Fast Eddie from the movie “The Hustler”).

    So I’m just going to do what any Liberal would do in a similar circumstance…

    ..It’s all Bushitler’s fault.

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  9. This is what happens when we outsource anything written in English. Bad translators, that’s all.

    Latch (the) bin (to) close (securely)

    EVen if the plane was made by, say Boeing, the sticker was probably produced in China or another country where conjunctions, prepositions and the like don’t exists. (Not that I speak Chinese, I’m making an educated guess….having dealt with many people who speak English as a second language)

    Merry Christmas Translation: (Enjoy yourself on a) Merry Christmas (day….and don’t drink too much and embarrass yourself at the in-laws)

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  10. Yo, 50 cal. Are you saying allah doesn’t know the difference between an old gore-filled horror movie and a great sci fi short story that has been cruelly dragged out for months on end? (HellRaiser vs. HellBender)

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  11. They bought the planes from the defunct SouthEast Airlines,
    whose stewardesses used stickers that said,
    “This here Latch Bin Closed, Sugah” and
    “This here Latch Bin Opened, Honey”.

    After painting over “This here” and “Sugah”,
    NorthWest just left the last stickers on the Latch,
    along with the gum under the seats,
    and chicken coops in the baggage hold.

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  12. No more than 45 pounds can fit in the bins without compromising their integrity. The bins should reflect this, because it’s an important safety point. I’ve written to several airlines informing them that I think that when a bin is fully laden, a light should come on stating “bin laden.” Why they haven’t done this yet is beyond me.

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  13. Really, latch your own damn bins. Also from the overly possy department on flights: Why the hell does it matter if my seat is in an upright position for takeoff. I like to fall asleep while the plane is taxiing (sp?) and the upright seat causes my head to roll to the side and then I end up drooling on my leg or the leg of the person next to me. Done properly, this can be an amazingly effective pick-up tool but still, I’d be more comfortable if my seat was reclined.

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  14. Plenty, you hit on the insaneness of all these “precautions”. When a plane hits the ground, water or large buildings in NYC at 300 MPH, the position of your seat, the locked and upright tray tables, the flotation device under your seat, the oxygen over your head, the exit door location all become pretty irrelevant.

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  15. Written words CAN be confusing. And totally useless to the blind and liberals. Audio will help one, and a boxing glove on a spring will help us laugh at the other. Booiinnngggggg. Thump. Thud. Hahahaha, stoopid hippie.

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  16. Have you seen the “flight attendants” on a Northwest flight recently? The women look like they just walked out of a Russian Gulog and they were the warden! The plane tilts from side to side as they move from their left leg to their right! And God help you if you request ANY service of ANY KIND! Their arms are too “plump” to reach up and latch the overheads…and then their are the boy attendants! If you get past getting your butt oogled by one of these nancers, they are unable to lift your luggage to the overheads so basically you are on your own! Again, only Homosexuals and Retards fly Northwest!

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  17. #34 – ussjimmycarter,

    Well, I’m not a homosexual.
    If I’m retarded, does that mean I get to board the plane first?

    How did you become so familiar with what goes on inside a Northwest plane, Hmmmm?

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  18. I live in Minneapolis and flew these losers for over 300,000 miles back in the late 80’s. I still don’t want to get on an airplane because of them! Terrible company with terrible planes run by terrible executive with terrible employees and terrible unions with terrible on-time records and terrible service and terrible lost luggage performance. Other than that they are great!

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  19. Christmas jokes:

    You Might Be A SCROOGE If:

    * You get your Christmas tree at a rest stop at night.
    * Your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin.
    * You buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
    * You give kitchen utensils as Christmas presents.
    * You watch football games on Christmas day while eating nachos and drinking beer.

    You’ve Had Too Much Holiday Cheer If:

    * You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
    * You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
    * You take off your shoes and wade in the jello salad.
    * You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
    * You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

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