Congressman: Obama’s Senate Replacement Must Look Like Barney Fife
CHICAGO (AP) – The race to replace Barack Obama as Illinois’ junior senator heated up Tuesday as Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill., called on Gov. Rod Blagojevich to name a Barney Fife look-alike to the seat.
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By playing the celebrity resemblance card, Rush – who himself regularly picks up chicks by claiming to be Fred Sanford – made dopplegangery an issue for contenders for the seat. Rush said it would be a “national disgrace” if Obama’s seat were not filled by a Fife-Alike-American.
“The US Senate is a solemn legislative body,” said Rush, “where weighty issues of global import are debated and deliberated. Obama’s comical resemblance to the awkward and dimwitted deputy of Mayberry brought much-needed and nigh-irreplaceable levity to the proceedings.”
In addition to looking like the TV Land mainstay, Obama’s speeches often bear a resemblance, too. Usually when his teleprompter breaks down. Most memorably during a heated partisan debate on the best way to go after Bin Laden, when Obama accidentally broke the tension by saying, “We’ve got to nip him in the bud. You read any book on successful war strategies, and you’ll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping”.
Gov. Blagojevich is currently considering Illinois State Senator Dave Syverson for the position. Despite the fact that Syverson is a Republican, Blagojevich still considers him the best man for the job. “America is at a critical crossroads in history,” he said “and I’ll be damned if I’ll let petty party affiliations keep me from appointing to the US Senate the thick-lipped, jug-eared, bug-eyed, bullet-in-his-shirt-pocket, man-of-action that this country so sorely needs!”
(20 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
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December 4th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Outstanding stuff, Harvey.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am
LOL! (But my “L” is tempered by the thought that, this time, Barney’s one-bullet has a nuclear payload.)
December 4th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Thanks, Basil, that was hilarious. Not as good as Harvey does, but great for a Tuesday post, anyway.
Obama, forced to resign from the Senate for legal reasons, made no comment when current Senator Dick Durbin demanded that Governor Rod Blagojevich not appoint an African-American.
December 4th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I think some fighting Illini here would argue that there’s no accounting for Illinois politics or elections. Literally. No. Accounting.
But I’m sure whoever gets in will appeal to Illinois’ emerging majority of community organizers in the tradition of The One, of course.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Here’s Barney Obama showing his deep Constitutional
knowlege – without a teleprompter.
You really must see this, it’s an uncanny resemblance.
Was Don Knotts Obama’s maternal Grandfather?
December 5th, 2008 at 9:18 am
I don’t think y’all should be diss’n the Fife-atude. Barney although a doofus had a good heart and at least attempted to follow the rules and do the right thing.
Obama has no heart and couldn’t find the rules with a Blackberrry, google maps, a satellite in geosynchronous orbit, On Star or a Dunadedain.
December 5th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
From the article: Among the potential black candidates who could replace Obama are Rep. Danny Davis
Danny Davis? Isn’t that the evil referee from the mid-80′s WWF? How did he get elected to Congress?
December 6th, 2008 at 11:31 am
All those late night comedians – hell, the whole comic industry! – claimed that they couldn’t think of any funny material about Obama. The caricaturists all said the same. How very odd…
December 7th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Yea, well it’s early. Remember, the media made this empty suit, and they sure as hell can break him. He’s beholden to them. First time he crosses them, look out! Joe the Plummer will look like a party if the media EVER turns on the “O” dude. (is it the big O or the big zero?? )
December 7th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
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