I’m still confused…

Nobody ever explained to me how nearly 2-million people could get into Washington, DC, in freezing weather in one day, when 200,000 couldn’t get out of New Orleans at 80 degrees with four days notice?

Can you explain it?

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Obama: “I Don’t Care About White People”

WASHINGTON (AP) – While hundreds of thousands of people in Kentucky go without heat or electricity due to this week’s ice storm, President Barack Obama explained his indifference to the weather-related tragedy by saying “I’ve been kinda busy this week, and besides, I don’t care about white people, anyway.”

“Well, if you’re cold, just turn up the damn thermostat, you stupid cracker!.”

After the vicious winter storm swept through the state, more than half a million people Kentuckians were left shivering in the dark. “We’ve got lots of counties that do not have any communication, any heat, any power,” Steve Beshear, the state’s governor, said Wednesday.

“I can’t believe they’re closing down the state because of what, some ice?” said Obama incredulously. “When it comes to the weather, those inbred honkies don’t seem to be able to handle things. Too bad they don’t have my flinty Chicago toughness. It’s even more too bad that Kentucky used to be a slave state. I guess being afflicted by all those white-devil snow flakes is simply God’s justice.”

So far, 24 deaths have officially been blamed on the storm. That toll is expected to rise over the next few weeks, since damage was so widespread that repair crews don’t anticipate complete restoration of services until mid-February. Emergency officials said that utility workers were doing everything they could, but that there simply were too many felled lines, especially in remote areas of the state, to move any faster.

“I’d really love to help out,” said Obama, absent-mindedly scratching his face with his middle finger, “but I’ve got my hands full trying to push my stimulus package past those Pigmently-Challenged partisan hack Republicans in the Senate. Speaking of Republicans, did you know I only got 40% of the vote in yonder red state? And NOW they want me to make them a priority? I guess hillbillies really are as dumb as everyone says.”

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Link of the Day

Best newsish fakery you’ll read that’s not written by me:

Media Votes to Expel Rod Blagojevich from Democrat Party

Nice one, Rev. Right.

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Congratulations Michael Steele!

And congratulations to the Republicans for now going a couple days in a row without completely screwing things up. That they even considered reelecting the current chair is a bit of a head scratcher, but so far so good. Now let’s see what Senate Republicans do with the craptastic “stimulus”.

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Getting what you voted for

With the President ordering the closing of Guantanamo Bay, the question arises: what to do with the prisoners there?

Of course, there are some on the left that think they need to be released. This, despite ongoing reports of former detainees returning to terrorism.

However, let’s assume that the administration recognizes that the bad guys are bad guys and need to be kept locked up somewhere.

Some states are saying they don’t want them. And I agree. I don’t want my state housing them.

But, then again, my state voted for McCain.

I have a solution that ought to make everybody happy: Spread the Guantanamo Bay prisoners around among the states that voted for Obama. I mean, after all, he campaigned on the promise to close Gitmo. So it’s not like they didn’t know he’d do it, right?

Well, it was okay with them if he did. So much so that they voted him into office.

I’m for having those responsible for putting Obama into office having to put up with the consequences.

Here’s the plan: There are, by one count, 245 prisoners at Guantanamo Bay. 28 states and the District of Columbia awarded 365 Electoral Votes to Obama.

Spread them out accordingly.

For each Electoral Vote for Obama, a state gets just over 2/3 (0.671) of a prisoner. Here’s the breakdown:

State Electoral Votes Guantanamo Bay
prisoners
California 55 36
Colorado 9 6
Connecticut 7 5
Delaware 3 2
D.C. 3 2
Florida 27 18
Hawaii 4 3
Illinois 21 14
Indiana 11 7
Iowa 7 5
Maine 4 3
Maryland 10 7
Massachusetts 12 8
Michigan 17 11
Minnesota 10 7
Nebraska 1 1
Nevada 5 3
New Hampshire 4 3
New Jersey 15 10
New Mexico 5 3
New York 31 21
North Carolina 15 10
Ohio 20 13
Oregon 7 5
Pennsylvania 21 14
Rhode Island 4 3
Vermont 3 2
Virginia 13 9
Washington 11 7
Wisconsin 10 7
365 245

This could solve all kinds of problems.

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Question

If we send terrorists to regular prison, aren’t patriotic prisoners just going to shiv them? So who should be against that?

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Celebrity Windfall Profits Tax

Here’s an awesome idea from a blogger at Big Hollywood: Windfall profits tax on celebrities. Hollywood should be all for that ’cause they want to help people and stuff. I say cut off actor salaries at like $100,000; that’s plenty of money for something that’s really more of a calling that an outright job. It is kinda silly that the people who pretend to do important things earn more money than the people who actually do important things; that’s just stupid capitalism messing up fairness. We should save the large salaries for people who kill evil foreigners.

And software engineers; that’s important too. I don’t know why they don’t do more movies about those people.

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Jobs for Journalists

Here’s an interesting post on what journalists do after they lose their job. I always assumed they just found a hole somewhere to die in, but apparently a lot of them get other jobs. I don’t know what a former journalist is qualified for, though. I mean, that aren’t really a lot of jobs for dimwitted, partisan hacks. There are college professors, but there are already so many useless liberals vying for those cushy jobs. I guess a former journalist can be that guy who rips your ticket when you go to the movies. They could also probably stand by the side of a road and wave a sign for some business. Any other ideas?

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The New Single Party Bipartisanship Is Here

It’s easy to make fun of Obama, but sometimes you have to admire his skilled unipartisanship. It’s pretty hard to make a bill so bad that you can’t even get one squish Republican to vote for it. Well, at least when the economy improves (as always happens when the government spends larges sums of tax money) the Democrats can take all the credit.

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Ancient Proverbs

Why read IMAO when can you just read Iowahawk.

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