Gitmo Alternatives
On Obama’s first day on the job, he plans to order Gitmo closed and then plans to move quickly and fully close Gitmo within the next twelve years. Anyway, here are some suggestions as to where to put the prisoners:
* A freight container at the bottom of the ocean.
* A wood chipper.
* A factory that manufactures pig feed.
* The sun.
Any other ideas?
(33 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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January 13th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Berkley.
San Francisco.
Europe.
And if we really want to be mean…. Detroit.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
BACK SEAT OF TED KENNEDY’S CAR
BARNEY FRANK’S HOT TUB
ANYWHERE IN QUEBEC
EVENLY DIVIDED BETWEEN THE GENDER DIVERSITY PROGRAMS AT BERKLEY, BOULDER AND MADISON
DETROIT LIONS’ DEFENSIVE LINE
I MEAN THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS………
January 13th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
Lock them in a room with Bawney Fwank and a family-size tub of Astroglide. How does one say “Bring out the Gimp” in Arabic?
January 13th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
D’oh!
January 13th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
A nuclear waste dump.
The Kennedy compound.
DNC headquarters.
CAIR (with the rest of them).
Better yet, just ship them to the Israelis…they’ll know what to do with them.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
- Yucca Mountain
- Any local range where they would bring a premium price when sold as realistic, moving targets
- The numbers are about right where they could be spread out so each congressman and senator could keep one at their home
- Replace illegals working on hog farms and slaughter houses
January 13th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
-> Eros
You’ve got it nailed.
Call Mossad and arrange a non-stop flight from Gitmo to Tel Aviv on El Al Airlines.
None of them will bother anyone ever again.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
* With Michelle Obama. Good Lord, can you imagine?
* Directly in front of the barrel of an M-16.
* Rural America.
January 13th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
A bathroom stall with Larry Craig.
Sean Hannity’s gigantic head.
Wasilla, Alaska.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Think Bush would sell me a few of those Gitmo detainees? I’m working on a gun-oriented theme park. Gonna need some live targets for the E-ticket rides.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:12 pm
That one’s house in chicagone. Reserve a few to send to sean the traitor penn.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Rosie’s Bathroom
Paris Hilton’s Vagina
Barney Frank’s Rectum
Barney Frank’s Mouth
Between Hillary’s Thighs
Saying “Ahh” as an Intern for Bill Clinton
Blago Double For The Next 2 Years
Madeline Albright’s New “Boy Toy”
January 13th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
* Locked in a room with a tv showing nothing but reruns of The View (they’ll kill themselves)
* Hollywood
* Maricopa County Prison, Arizona
* Hyde Park (they’d fit right in)
January 13th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Totally off topic but still a relief: There are no Obama ads on the side bars! Hurray!
What to do with the Gitmo Guys?
I’d head back about 500 years:
Draw and Quarter
Iron Maiden
etc.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
They would make ideal reactor shielding for all those nuclear power plants that Obama’s not going to build.
We could also put them on a boat, take them out to international waters and throw them overboard. “You’ve just been deported. You’re free to swim to anywhere you like, but you can’t swim back to the US.” To make the point, we could have a few destroyers out there to shell them if they try to swim back.
January 13th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
You had me at wood chipper. Really, Detroit? It’s not like they SUCCEEDED in killing us, besides they’d blend in in Berkeley.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
#1, I thought berkeley and scum fran sicko were the same thing as a pig farm, rosies house.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Get them jobs as DKos site moderators. Of course, they don’t really have the experience necessary to deal with that kind of hatred and vitriol, but they’ll learn I’m sure.
January 13th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
Open up Alcatraz again.
Give them all jobs in Iowa at the pig slaughtering plants
College professors
Send them all to Minnesota to drive taxi to the airport – make them pick up people carrying alcohol and dogs
January 13th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
On the TV show Sarah CoRnhole Cornicles: That will keep them out of site for the vast majority of us!
January 13th, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Corsair and Commrade Mancuso….please not rural America or Minnesota……what did we ever do to you?! Although after the cushy time they spent at Gitmo, it’d be fun to watch them up here for a while…..we soared all the way up to -11° today….don’t think those orange jump suits afford much warmth…..
January 13th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
#8 MarkoMancuso
> Rural America.
WHAT?? I got no use for them.
#9 mgoodling
How about your house?
January 13th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Mars, the prison planet.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Transexualize them and drop em into a taliban camp in Afgramistan
January 13th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
Basil,
WHAT?? I got no use for them.
I just want to try the most dangerous game myself.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
Re open Alcatraz and stick them there. At least then they will be amongst friends.
Alternatively let them break out and escape into Cuba. I’m sure Castro would love having a bunch of psychotic Islamofacists running around the country side mucking up his Socialist paradise.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
Put them up in that Lincoln bedroom that the Clinton’s used to rent out.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Take them to the Nevada test site and let them be the suicide bombers they always wanted to be.
Stake them over a bed of fast-growing bamboo at a hog farm.
Naked. Handcuffs. Flagpole. Castro Street, San Francisco. ‘Nuff said.
January 13th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Greased Muslim (Pig Fat) Catching Contest at any local Homo Convention…
January 13th, 2009 at 5:52 pm
* The sun.
Wouldn’t the obvious solution be the moon? Right before we nuke it, that is.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
I think each Guardian reader should be required to take one in.
January 13th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
I say use them for one-way trip NASA experiments to exploring Mars.
-Lander 1, Whats you status?
‘ Ie see rhocks , oh crap! therz a skeltin here! ‘
- Heh that would be correct, sorry.. you are not Lander 1
January 13th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Your peoples cruelty amazes me. Don’t you know the polar bears are starving to death. Obviously we send them to the frozen Arctic, to serve as food for those lovely animals. Just to make sure the polar bears find them, we should cover their naked bodies in pig blood.
January 13th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Put them on a slow freighter cruising past Somalia. When the pirates seize the ship and demand a ransom for the crew, say, “We’ll get right back to you on that.”
January 13th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
In Obama’s bucket. (That’ll be a nasty surprise when he tries to put it on his head…)
January 13th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I hear there’s a roomy mother-in-law suite at the White House . . .
January 13th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Put them in a cage in West Virginia like the zombies at the end of Night of the Living Dead. Problem solved.
January 14th, 2009 at 12:10 am
- Antarctica
- Swizterland
- George Soro’s mansion
- Q’onoS
- Raccoon City
- Silent Hill
- Special Guests on the View. (Someone already mentioned it. I am just modifying the idea.)
- ANY college campus
- Near a Gamma Ray Burst
- The Matrix
- Neo-Tokyo
- Dexter’s Labortory
- Dexter’s Medical Examination office
- New York Times Headquarters
- Oregan
- North Korea
- Sean Penn’s Condo
- Michael Moore’s favorite restraunt
January 14th, 2009 at 1:06 am
Save travel fees. Just open the gates at Guantanamo and let them walk free into Cuba. Full employment, free world-class health care, fresh rum, coffee and cigars, beautiful cathedrals…everything a Muslim fundamentalist could want. And the only things American are the DeSotos, Studebakers and Michael Moore.
January 14th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Roommates for Obama’s Bishop at the inauguration…
January 14th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Send them here to the Maricopa County Jail. Joe will keep the camel jockeys in line. Feed ‘em a strict pork diet too. Joe Arapaio don’t know the meaning of Halal. They’ll be begging for Gitmo after.
January 14th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Public housing. They’ll blend right in with all the illegals.
January 14th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Long Live Sheriff Joe ! Sheriff Joe for President in fact.
January 14th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
32 Erg, That skeleton would be Achmed, the dead terrorist.
Send them to Kenya to knock up their women and have their kids go to their countries and screw them up for a change. Change we can believe in.
January 15th, 2009 at 12:26 am
Good God, you are a monster. Have you no humanity?
Yeah, but then what are the UN peacekeepers going to do?