Obama Tweets!
Apparently Obama got his Twitter account hacked, and though I Googled my hardest to find what those nefarious scalliwags graffitied his page with, I don’t think I succeeded.
I mean, I found some entries that MIGHT have been faked, but it’s kinda hard to tell:
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* McCain ran a clean campaign, never once claiming that “Barack” sounds like the noise a chicken makes.
* Michelle’s gonna upgrade her starter set! (o)(o) YAY! Fake boobies!
* Why Clinton for Sec of State? As we say in Chicago “keep your friends close, and your enemies dangling over a pit of poisoned spikes”.
* Roland Burris is WAY over-qualified for my senate seat, since you really only need to be 50% black to fill it.
* Uh… change… uh… hope… uh… historic… uh… damn this broken teleprompter! BRB…
* Black history: back of the bus – front of the bus – under the bus
* Best. Shirtless. President. EVA! Boo-yah! Who’s your daddy?
* Yeah, I’m appointing nothing but has-been Clinton wonks, but you know in your heart that McCain woulda done exactly the same thing.
* Pie pie pie pie pie pie baked beans pie pie pie pie and pie.
* I’m just like Lincoln, except that four score and seven years from now we’ll all be speaking Farsi.
* I did not have appointmental discussions with that Governor, Rod Blagojevich.
* It’s a low-growing annual with dull-green, deeply-cut, compound leaves which have a distinct spicy-pungent flavor, NOW STOP ASKING!
Let me know if you find any I missed.
(20 votes, average: 4.65 out of 5)
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January 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
* Waffles waffles waffles waffles SPAM waffles waffles waffles waffles.
* Franchises avaiable: “The Obama House” – serving arugula-flavored waffles and fried chicken 24/7. $100,000 to start. Call Blago Enterprises in Chicago at 555-555-5555. No lawyers/FEDS.
* Buy your Obama Commemorative Coins here: gold paint over slag metal; $19.95 while supplies last.
* Highway Sig Alert: The bus is full, but it can’t move. Too many bodies blocking the wheels.
* Note from Al Qaeda: “Wez at yur Inaugural, messn wit yr teleprmtr!”
Great stuff, Harvey!
January 7th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
White chicks!
Can someone shut up the gays. We blacks don’t like the gays!
January 7th, 2009 at 4:03 pm
* HA HA HA, using a white computer does NOT make me a racist.
* See? I can type one handed too, just like McCain.
* Hi, I’m a MAC! PC gettin no bailout.
* So THAT’S internet pron.
* Why you holdin that buckit in your hand willus?
January 7th, 2009 at 5:26 pm
Ummmm… isn’t Obama closer to 6 1/2 % black?
January 7th, 2009 at 5:48 pm
You said to stop asking, but I really gots to know: Does it contain glucosides such as allyl sulphonocyanate while the seed oil contains erucic acid?
January 7th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
“I’m just like Lincoln, except that four score and seven years from now we’ll all be speaking Farsi.”
¿Qué? No intiendo.
January 7th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?
January 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am
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January 8th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Sarah Palin – yeah, I’d hit that.