Happy Birthday, Sarah!
The second most beautiful, intelligent, and charming Sarah in the world (Frank’s missus, of course, being the first), is turning 45 today, so the question naturally arises: what’s an appropriate birthday present for the woman who proved that global warming isn’t man-made, but is in fact woman-made, as a result of her personal hotness?
Some people think the right thing is a snarky, condescending column written by a inexplicably-obsessed left-winger who seems a little miffed that Palin got more Google searches than Obama.
Knowing Sarah, she’ll probably smile politely at that one and say “thank you very much for that thoughtful gift”, because that’s just the kind of classy dame she is.
Meanwhile, let’s see what else is on the gift list:
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* WhySarahPalinIsSoFreakingAwesome. A gift that EVERYONE can share. If you haven’t gone there either yet or lately, go now. I guarantee that if you’re not delighted, you are either dead or liberal. Remember to hit the “older posts” link at the bottom of the page so you can see all the coloring contest entries.
* A camoflage moose-rifle. With a pink trigger. Because deep down, Sarah’s really kind of a girly-girl.
* A electoral college recount that shows that – at the last minute, and in secret – all the electors decided to vote their conscience and do what’s best for the future of America, thus making Sarah Palin the first unanimously-elected President since George Washington.
* Katie Couric’s perky little interview-editing, hatchet-jobbing head on a pike.
* [pause]… lipstick.
* Wolves. Dead ones. Entrance wounds on the top, exit wounds on the bottom. Lots of ‘em.
* Coupon for free surgical removal of the knives that McCain & company stuck in her back after the election.
* Drilling so many oil wells in ANWR that space aliens viewing it from orbit would think that Alaska was being devoured by a giant radioactive porcupine.
* A GoateeSaver. Technically it’s a gift for Todd, but Sarah’s the one who has to look at that scruffy thing every day.
* My promise to vote for her in 2012. PleasePleasePleasePleasePleeeeeeeeease?
I heard Bill Clinton’s buying her a blue dress, but that’s probably just a rumor.
What are YOU getting Sarah for her birthday?
(40 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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February 11th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I’m hoping to jump out of her cake!
February 11th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Clinton can not get a hot chick to play chin nuts with him. The chubby ones with oral fixations are usually the very best at playing chin nuts. And one has to love them for that!
February 11th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
If I give her my Neverending Devotion, would that make me like an obamite is for him?
February 11th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
My vote, my sword and my good right arm.
Happy Birthday, Sarah.
– MuscleDaddy
February 11th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Money.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:14 pm
Oh, and Happy Birthday, Governor.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Any. Thing. She. Wants.
February 11th, 2009 at 6:52 pm
WAIT…
That is not the real Sarah K..
Harvey killed her a few years ago when she was a t-shirt girl and replaced her with his own….
It is a conspiracy…
February 11th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I’ll
begive her ice cream. There, fixed it. No, wait! It’s still not right. I give up.February 11th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
NunyaB, I tried to leave a comment at WhySarahPalinIsSoFreekingAwsome, but I couldn’t understand the procedure. Where do I type my name, and is my e-mail address required?
February 11th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
A Ronco Junior Detective Kit. When she stops looking hot I want her to find my lost manhood.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Oops, that last one was me.
February 11th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Oh definitely the dead wolves. She can make an awesome fur-lined cape and boots for her superhero activities. We’re gonna need a real superhero after this “stimulus”.
Also, THANK YOU so much for that link!!! That was awesome and unexpected
February 11th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I saw this title and said to myself, “Man, I’m so @#$%!” then realized it was about Palin.
February 11th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
My undying affection.
February 11th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
I’m going to continue praying for Sarah and her lovely family. What they were put through in the campaign was criminal and if there was any justice in this world the perpetrators would receive the same treatment, but they won’t,
She already has my support, loyalty and vote should she chose to run again.
Happy birthday Sister Sarah and God bless.
February 11th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Semper Fi Palin.
Happy Birthday….now get your shit in a group and kick ass in 2012. Time is short, maintain situational awareness.
America needs your common sense. As I speak our nation is being attacked by leeches, lampreys, and ticks. We are at war, and our enemies are everywhere.
I’ll see you on the battle field, and I will fight with you.
Leatherneck
out
February 11th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
I would like Congress to give her 5 personalized cruise missles with tactical nuclear warheads to use as she wants. She’s smart, knows what she’s doing…and best of all…she’ll use them.
Lessee….maybe two aimed at Russia to take care of that nutjob Putin? (She’s close enough to be really accurate.) Then the other three she can send down to NYC, to take out MSNBC, NBC, and a major media pick to be announced.
That would be some awesome birthday fireworks.
February 11th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
From me, and as usual, what #16 seanmahair said.
Thanks again Harvey for the shout-out. Yes, the “older posts” link at the bottom would work for seeing the coloring contest entries; so would the “SP Coloring Contest” label at the top of the page.
BTW there’s no deadline at all for this, it’s just for fun, and any artistic pro-Palin endeavor (besides the wolf pic I mean) will be posted and appropriately credited, with links back to the artist’s website.
P.S. Sarah Palin would be Bill Clinton’s birthday present (dream on Bubba); he’s so wanted her since the RNC last fall, but he’s not worthy of being stomped by her stilettos.
P.P.S. #10 5 of 7, just click on the little pink “O comments” link and a post form should come up.
February 11th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Happy Bday Sarah, may you continue to be blessed with health, strength and the ability to make the left shiver in their collective boots.
February 11th, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I posted this at Li’l Davey Knowle’s attempted blog earlier. I thought you’s might get a kick out of it:
I’d give her a pair of brass knuckles & 5 minutes alone with ANY given leftard posting the played-out negative status quo comments here. For you hateful commenters out there attempting to read this, that’s at least 4 (f-o-u-r) minutes longer than necessary, as not one of you would last a minute.
February 12th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Lol @ #14, Frank.
I’d give her a “solutions manual for Laser Electronics, Third Edition, Verdeyen, Joeseph” because that’s something that not even google has. And that way she could tell me how to do my homework so I could go to bed and get at least a few hours of sleep instead of staying up and checking IMAO and still not getting my homework done.
February 12th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Happy Birthday, Governor.
Id give her the keys to the Internet and the master ban hammer so she could hunt down and destroy all the basement dwelling leftards and Obazombies that slagged off her and her Family during the election.
February 12th, 2009 at 1:26 am
Aw, Harv. You’re just saying that because it’s true.
Thanks.
February 12th, 2009 at 2:06 am
NunyaB talk of SP or btw, Idon’t understand you kids.
what happend to a good LOL..that I can understand?
February 12th, 2009 at 8:36 am
She’s my girl! I want her to be my candidate next time for POTUS. Then I want to see her punch Obama in the nads during the first debate and say to the American people, we’ve had enough of liberal weenies and I won’t debate this moron! Let’s vote! Muwahahahahah!!!!!
She will win every state!
February 12th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Get her one of these:
http://www.cafepress.com/AnotherOpinion
Because, let’s face it, none of us were actually voting for whatsisname.
February 12th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
i’d give her money. and my vote. and ask her to go wolf hunting…in washington d.c.
February 12th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
I am one Alaskan who doesn’t want to see her run for prez in 2012…….and here is why. I’d much rather see her run for gov again in 2010 when her first term is up, get reelected (as I believe she will be), serve a second term as gov (that would take her to 2016) and then run against the tax raising ex-mayor of Anchorage, Mark Beigish, who lucked into Sen. Ted Stevens seat and who will be up for re-election in 2016. I believe she can beat this tax raising usurper and then I would like to see her serve as a Senator from Alaska until 2020 and then run for prez. I think she would be a much stronger candidate with some additional years under her belt with the seasoning the years would give her, and yet she would still be a relatively young woman in 2020. If she ran and lost we would still have her as our senator so for us Alaskans it would be a win-win situation………..oh, (and of course ) happy birthday Sara.!
February 12th, 2009 at 9:17 pm
OK… I clicked on the little pink ‘comments’ and got a block to write in… But below that are some more blank boxes and when I try to submit my comment it demands that I tell it what my blog site url id number code word blood type ect is … and there I get lost. I don’t even have a blog! I’m slow. Help me!
February 13th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
#30, I don’t allow anonymous comments, so you’ll probably have to be logged in to one of the allowed accts in order to post: Google, LiveJournal, WordPress, TypePad, AIM, or OpenID. I tested it without being logged in myself and wasn’t allowed to post, so that’s probably it. After you’re logged in and have entered your text, select one of the above acct types from the drop-down menu, then it should post.
February 13th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Ok, I think I can do that. Which acount do you recommend? It’s free, right?
February 14th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
I want to give her my body Sara MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM so tasty
April 14th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
Sarah – Amazing person!