Oaths Are Hard
I guess we need like simpler oaths or we’re going to end up in a Constitutional crisis. Maybe just something like: “Me be good to America.”
(27 votes, average: 4.89 out of 5)
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February 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
On my honor
I will do my best
to do my duty . . . .
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
How about…I swear (fingers and toes crossed) that I shall uphold and defend (yea ok just for shits and giggles) the constitution of the United States of America (put together by a bunch of white racist crackers) and shall defend her against all enemies (yea like now that Bush is out of office this means anything) Foreign and Domestic…
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Maybe just something like: “Me be good to America.”
The stupidest person in America (toss up between that one and biden) would screw that up too, cause we know its a lie.
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:22 pm
These are democrats, even “Me be good to America” is too complicated, and possibly distasteful, for them to say.
They need an oath that’s even simpler and less America-oriented, such as “Hail Obama”
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Nah, “Hail Obama” would require them to learn a new name every few years. How about just cut out the middleman and have em say “Hail Satan!” It works better if yer mental picture is from South Park’s Woodland Critter Christmas.
February 3rd, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Define “good.”
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Hey Bill Clinton: Freemon Sandlewould defines good as what Monica did for Bill only when she is doing it to Freemon Sandlewould.
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:45 pm
We need smarter oath-repeaters in office. So far in the Obama administration, repeating the oath has becoming something of an intelligence test, and they aren’t doing so well. Hey leftys, you can put all the Dan Quayle jokes away now. Your people are WAAAAAAAAAAY dumber.
February 3rd, 2009 at 6:47 pm
has becoming something
Ooops… Bracing myself for onslaught of snark…
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Oaths are especially hard when you have NO moral compass, believe in nothing higher than man and want nothing more than to take the America public for all that you can get. Greed, avarice and hubris always get in the way.
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:15 pm
We obviously need some kind of federal grant to provide education to these oath givers.
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:58 pm
On the Bob and Tom Show this morning the subject of the porn clip that made it into the Super Bowl coverage and how Olbermann showed the video with the naughty bits covered with a football was discussed. Bob (I think) asked if they covered Olbermanns head with one “since he is such a dick?” I swear to tell the truth and admit that I laughed. Laughed out loud even.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:01 pm
“Damn it, Joe! The teleprompter’s there for a reason!”
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Before Obama’s cabinet members raise their hand,
they should have the oath written on the back of it.
Or better still,
maybe they need to just freeform the thing,
and just promise to do whatever brings them
the most power, profit, and self satisfaction.
There’s an oath a Clintomn can keep!
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 pm
What does it matter what oath they take when they’re lying anyway? Obama even passes on the bible to take the oath on.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:20 pm
“Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer.”
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:21 pm
He screwed up a new Colorado senator’s oath, too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8iCXvbeEoY
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Raise your right hand. . .
No, no, the other one. . .
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Thus our transition to Idiocracy will be complete.
February 4th, 2009 at 12:33 am
Cross my heart and hope to die,
Stick a needle in my eye.
If I’m lying, I’m dying.
Pinkie swear!
or the non-verbal oath;
spit on your hand and then shake firmly.
or just wet your finger and hold it up to see which way the wind is blowing.
February 4th, 2009 at 12:40 am
An oath for the Democrats, repeat after me: I…
I…
…your name…
…your name…
Shmucks… do pledge allegiance…
…do pledge allegiance…
…to Hedley Lamarr…
…to Hedy Lamarr…
That’s *Hedley*!
That’s Hedley.
…and to the evooooil…for which it stands. Now go do that voodoo…that you do…so weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell!
February 4th, 2009 at 2:45 am
“” OK, sure thing “”
February 4th, 2009 at 4:37 am
#15, Son of Bob:
“Obama even passes on the bible to take the oath on.”
Do you even wonder why? Would he have, you would have seen a blinding flash of light, followed by a pile of smoldering embers in the place of where “The One” previously stood.
February 4th, 2009 at 4:40 am
Oops…I forgot…they probably would have used Bill Clinton’s bible (A bible cover pasted over a 2 year collection of Hustler magazines).
February 4th, 2009 at 8:16 am
If I were in Congress I would make it a policy never to stand within, say, 100 feet of O’vomit. When God heeded Elijah’s call the fire consumed the sopping wet offering, the drenched wood, the stone altar, the water in the trench around the altar, and those priest of Baal standing near. I’m thinking the farther one stands the safer one is. Me, I intend to never be in the same geographical region as “his royal hindededness”. Safety first, you know.
February 4th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Seanmahair, I think you’re on to something here…
I’ve been pondering over the last year, could “the one” be “the one?”
February 4th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
We’re waiting for the 6 month window to close. Then we’ll see.