I think he meant “Oh, Obama”
Of COURSE Couric noticed. Colorblindness is extremely rare in women [NOTE – nothing important after the first 10 seconds].
That’s ok. I still think Biden is pretty fly.
I think he meant “Oh, Obama”
Of COURSE Couric noticed. Colorblindness is extremely rare in women [NOTE – nothing important after the first 10 seconds].
That’s ok. I still think Biden is pretty fly.
You know the guy who put up the video challenging the Koran? This may be shocking, but he’s gotten violent threats.
How can people be that immune to irony?
NORMAL PERSON: Islam is a crazy, violent religion.
CRAZY MUSLIM: How dare you say that, infidel! I will use my crazy violence against you!
If those Muslims were a bit more self-aware, they should respond thusly:
NORMAL PERSON: Islam is a crazy, violent religion.
CRAZY MUSLIM: While that is true, I don’t like your tone of voice and will behead you for it.
See. Seems a lot less stupid and crazy there.
PREVIOUS
Chapters 1 – 39 Archive
“Watch the threads, buddy!”
Bryce could feel a claw into each of his shoulders, dragging him into Loch’s ship. Soon he was a in a room where he could see more creatures holding people. Bryce couldn’t get a good view of the creatures — they seemed like shadows with teeth and either arms or tentacles holding everyone still — but he could see a number of unfamiliar faces of the prisoners they had freed from the research building. “Lulu! Doug! Charlene!” he called out as loudly as he could, but then the creature that had him gripped him about his body even tighter.
“I’m starting to think that Doug is more trouble than he’s worth.” Bryce looked to his right and saw Lulu held fast by one of the creatures. She did her best to look unconcerned as she blew bubbles with her gum. The others were not doing so well, and Bryce heard sobbing and cries of panic.
“Let’s hold it together!” Bryce heard Charlene call out. She was somewhere to his left. “The Transcendents aren’t mindless beasts; we can find out what they want.”
“Perhaps the others are panicking because they’re more familiar with what the Trans want,” Bryce said.
“This is true.” Ronove was now standing before them. “You do have hope, though, because I will use all my abilities to see that there is an end to this.”
“You will pay many times for this!” someone called out who Bryce recognized as Doug’s new African friend. “You think you are powerful, but you are nothing, demon, and I do not fear you!”
“But then you forget the words of Jesus.” Ronove approached Chimezie. “For he warned you to fear the one who can destroy both body and soul.” Ronove walked among the group. “This was not my first choice of where to conduct the experiment, but at least on this craft within the midst of the physics anomaly we can be assured of no interruptions.”
“Where’s Doug?” Charlene demanded.
“He is fighting his way here. It will be a great effort for him and take great courage, and all it will achieve is a chance to watch you all suffer.”
“What the hell is it with Doug?” Bryce yelled in frustration. “Why do you even care about him? We’re his friends, and we hardly care about him.”
“I assure you, you humans are all worth the same to me; I can hardly tell the difference between you.” Ronove continued to hobble among the captive people, staring at each one. “This Doug simply is an opportunity. He cares deeply for a few of you, and I think that may be the key to destroying him. That he risked himself to help these others is merely a bonus when he will see that all he liberated them to was greater suffering.”
“Wait a second, Stinky,” Lulu said, “You’re going to torture us all to destroy Doug?”
“It’s more complicated than that, but yes.”
“I know what would really torture him,” Bryce suggested. “If as soon as he got here, you made him watch you let us go.”
“Let us go with a big barrel of money we’d get to spend without him,” Lulu added.
“Interesting idea, but I will stick with my current strategy,” Ronove said. “As I said, have hope for there will be an end to this. When I have successfully destroyed this Doug, then I shall work on bringing an end to the rest of you and humanity shall have its closure.”
“So you’re going to have a big production like this to destroy each person,” Bryce asked. “Seems like a lot of work.”
“I do not worry about how much time is involved,” Ronove said. “The fact is, no more souls are entering this universe, so if each soul can be destroyed — regardless of how much time it will take — that means there will be a finite end to humanity. That is what is important.”
“Well, thanks for coming down an explaining all of this to us,” Lulu stated. “That was really nice of you. If we have a comment card to fill out at the end of this, I’ll be sure to mention it.”
“Explaining things — even in your primitive methods of communication — helps one think.” Ronove took long looks at more of the captives. “That was not my purpose in coming here, though. Loch waits for you with great anticipation. Perhaps you can feel it even with your limited senses. For a being not bound by the constraints of the temporal dimension, he can be quite impatient. Only through great convincing was I able to keep him from tearing into all of you immediately. I hope to go through this in a more measured fashion.” Ronove approached Charlene. “You do not fear me as much as the others. What do you think you know?” He stared at her a moment. “Often, your brains are almost too primitive for me to understand, but one thing I do fathom: Your suffering will hurt Doug the most.”
“You really think this will accomplish anything?” Charlene asked defiantly.
“One thing is for certain.” Through seemingly great effort, Ronove curled the edges of his mouth into a smile. “There is no harm in me trying.” He looked to the others. “I shall take this one, and the rest of you shall wait here. Do not try and commit suicide; it will be of no use.”
“Don’t commit suicide — check,” Lulu said.
Bryce was dropped to the ground and saw a flurry of movement of the dark creatures scampered past him. When he lifted himself up, he saw the group of them — sans Charlene — were alone in a room with no doors, just solid walls of black rock. “What an asshole.”
“I’m sure Charlene will torture him right back.” Lulu stood up to address the group. Many were stunned silent while others were crying. “There’s no reason to be down, people; let’s keep a positive attitude. Now why don’t we put our heads together and brainstorm some ways to commit suicide. Who’s got shoelaces?”
A Californian violent video game law was declared unconstitutional. I already talked before about the silliness of having Arnold lead the crusade against violent video games, but I should also mention just how backwards it is in this day and age trying to keep kids from violent video games. Kids are huge sissies these days, and the last thing these sissies should be doing is playing some video games where they match up different colored gems that reinforces their sissiness. If anything, we should be exposing them to more violence in video games to toughen them up. Really, childhood sissiness is becoming so bad that soon “I don’t like kids” will be considered a homophobic statement.
To help us from being a nation of cowards, Eric Holder is going to release a list of what people are allowed to say about racial issues based on what race each person is. It will also include the conclusions we’re supposed to draw from the discussion. Deviation from the official list will have you declared a racist and dragged off to prison.
So let’s stop being cowards about race.
If the government taxes us by the mile, I’m just going to drive to work backwards and make the government pay me. Stupid government.
This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.





From Michael:

From LabCat:

From Neil:

From Peregrine John:

From Susie:

From Warren:

[reference link]
My favorite from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture (actually, it was the only submission – I apologize for picking such such a crappy picture. Hopefully this week’s works better):
From Wally:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
Have you seen the picture from the National Governors Association? It shows a bunch of governors listening to the president.
![]() |
| Source: Atlanta Journal-Constitution |
That’s Georgia governor Sonny Perdue (R) in the middle.
I imagine I look a lot like that after hearing Obama speak for more more than a minute.
But what do you think Governor Perdue is thinking?
I’ve been watching all the “best” movies.
I took the AFI’s “100 Years, 100 Movies” list from 1998, their updated version from 2007, AFI’s “10 Top 10” (their picks for the top 10 movies in 10 categories: Animation, Romantic comedy, Westerns, Sports, Mystery, Fantasy, Science fiction, Gangster, Courtroom dramas, Epics), and the Academy Awards® “Best Picture” winners, and put them all in one big list.
Some films are in more than one list, so the combined listing has 222 films.
I’ve now seen 150 of them. I have 72 more to go.
I’m telling you, it’s hard — really hard — to watch some of the crap that has come out of Hollywood over the years.
But, it gives me an idea…
Let’s make all the detainees at Guantánamo Bay watch the movies on that list. All of them. Some of them twice.
What would the Hollywood elite say then?
Would they admit their films are torture?
Or would they finally shut up and let us use the tactics necessary to get the information from the terrorists?
Sen. Jim Bunning (R-KY) indicated that he thinks Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will be dead within a year.
During a wide-ranging 30-minute speech on Saturday at the Hardin County Republican Party’s Lincoln Day Dinner, Bunning said he supports conservative judges “and that’s going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg … has cancer.”
“Bad cancer. The kind that you don’t get better from,” he told a crowd of about 100 at the old State Theater.
“Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live after (being diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer,” he said.
Now he’s apologized.
I know, cancer’s not anything to joke about. I’ve had friends die from it. I’ve had family members die from it. Heck, I was even misdiagnosed with it one time.
Cancer is scary stuff.
But it’s not always fatal.
Still, I help but wonder if Ginsburg will be on sombody’s Ghoul Pool list next year.
As you all know, IMAO is pretty centrist. Still, we like to bring in a wide variety of viewpoints, so here to talk about the stimulus bill from the right is Musashi and from the left Scary Evil Monkey.
I Will Be Stained in the Blood of Traitors
By Musashi
Traitors! Brigands! You who voted for the stimulus bill, you dishonor all those who fought and died for this country. You mock that which is much greater than you. For this, my sword will taste your blood! There is no forgiveness for this, only death! I will slaughter you, and slaughter your children (as is the custom in the political process).
As for those who dare called themselves Republicans and voted to sell their countries values, hopefully they can regain enough honor to disembowel themselves before I disembowel them! Their names shall be blotted from the books so that no future generation will know them as Republicans. Upon their graves we shall build urinals.
When all those responsible for the stimulus lay dead, the Capitol shall be burned to the ground. The stimulus bill has now made it an unholy place, and no good shall ever come from it again. Perhaps by this act we can seek forgiveness from the gods and the economy will flourish once again.
We Have All Your Money
By Scary Evil Monkey
hahahahaha!
i cannot stop laffing at dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues! now that my monkey friends in congress pass stimulus bill, all ur money is now ar money! evreewun lik obama an hate you dum stoopid heelbilly neocon jues, so dey take ur money and giv it to heem. now instead of spending on dum stoopid tings, he spend it on smirt elegant tings like guvment financing of gay porn and assistance for all my monkey freends in iran.
wut? dis make u sad? oh poor dum stoopids neocon heelbilly jues with no money becuz the smirt government took it all. u afraid der no money for nascar and churches an other dum stoopid tings? it weel be alright. i weel giv u sum money. how about i giv u five dollars if you let me EET UR EYBALLS AN TURN DEM INTO POO AND THROW THE POO AT U! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
i kid. i not give u five dollars for that. ur eyeballs are now mine. check the stimulus bill if you no believe me. no mor rights for dum stoopids. u all say gudbai to ur countree. an say gudbai to UR EYEBALLS WHICH WEE WEEL EET AN TURN INTO POO… an so on an so forth.
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I hope you enjoyed this debate and hearing both sides of the issue. Please give us feedback so we here at IMAO can better serve the community.