Archive for March, 2009

Obama’s secret plan to balance the budget

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:55 pm

Those of us on the right have criticized the president for his using of the current financial situation to further his socialist ideology.

Sure, this whole mess began falling apart after the Democrats took over Congress back in 2006.

And the seeds were planted by Dodd, Frank, Clinton and the other Democrats when they pressured banks to make risky loans.

And George Soros is enjoying the crisis.

And, of course, the president is spending your and my money like a drunken sailor.

And no way to pay for it. Except raising our taxes.

Or so those of us on the right thought.

Turns out, though, that it seems that Obama has a large source of income for the treasury.

“What is it?” you ask.

Simple. He’s going to have all his cabinet pay their taxes. We ought to be able to bail out all his cronies, pay for everything he’s proposing, and still have a budget surplus.

Turns out Obama is a genius after all, huh?

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Fred Thompson Nails It

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 7:34 pm

Just wanted to share this mp3 of a clip from the 3-31 Fred Thompson Show (starts at the 11:50 mark, if you want to go to his site & download the whole episode. Which is free because, unlike Rush Limbaugh, Fred cares more about spreading ideas than about skimming your wallet).

GM Customer Service Hotline at the Whitehouse

(1 min 22 sec; 1.25 MB)

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Blog Marriage

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 1:32 pm

Ann Althouse is getting married to a blog commenter, and the feminists at Panadagon and the usually rational and carefully thought-out Andrew Sullivan thought this marked a good occasion to ridicule of her.

I got married to a blog commenter, and it worked out horribly. All she does is nag me all the time. Plus, I’ve gotten to the point where I reflexively apologize anytime I hear a loud noise, like a car backfiring. It’s weird. But maybe things will work out better for Ann. So I wish her the best and want her to know not to let the mutants get her down. The best revenge is to live well (actually, it’s to strand someone on a barren planet like Kahn did to Captain Kirk, but that’s infeasible for most people and it didn’t even work out that well for Kahn).

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FOX Nation

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 12:06 pm

So FOX News has this new FOX Nation website in which I guess they’re trying to take over the conservative blogosphere. Basically, it looks like you can just comment on any news story. I like IMAO’s system better where you can comment on any news story we decide to let you comment on.

Anyway, my default attitude is to be suspicious of anything new that hasn’t linked to me. It could become the right-wing version of the Huffington Post, filled with conspiracy theorists and malcontents. Probably better to stick with more mainstream thought like IMAO.

Discussion question for today: How large a dinosaur with rocket launchers would it take to destroy the sun?

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lolterizt! Part 78

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:57 am

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ‘em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.



[reference link]


[reference link]


From Peregrine John:


My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From Rick of The Rabid Conservative

From Finn:

From jedijson:

[reference link]

From Nicole:

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

Also from Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

From Sean:


This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:


PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Public-Spirited Pigs

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:33 am

When T.S. Eliot rejected Animal Farm, he noted that in his reading of the book that the pigs still seemed the best qualified to run the farm and all that was needed was “more public-spirited pigs.” Now isn’t that a good name for the Democrats these days?

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Question

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:39 am

With those U.N. rules against defamation of religion, does that mean I have to stop my show starring the Puppet Muhammad (hand be up him)?

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Releasing Sex-Offenders

Monday, March 30, 2009 3:03 pm

It may be awful to release a sex-offender who says he’ll continue to molest children, but if we’re going to release sex-offenders, isn’t it best to release the honest ones?

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Ignorning the Feast and Fighting Over Crumbs

Monday, March 30, 2009 1:06 pm

Apparently, CNN has now fallen to third place behind MSNBC. The problem the FOX rivals are going to have is that there have always been more conservatives than liberals in America, so by ceding the conservatives MSNBC and CNN are fighting over the smallest piece of pie — and I guess MSNBC has won by being more earnest about it. Still, FOX News has higher rating than both CNN and MSNBC combined since it’s the only one smart enough to go after the larger viewer segment. I guess that’s an indication of how leftward journalist skew that they’ve ignored basic economics for so long because giving a fair showing to conservative viewpoints was just too anathema for them. Thus they go the way of the dodo and the newspaper.

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Religious Defamation

Monday, March 30, 2009 10:31 am

Since the U.N. passed a resolution against religious defamation, would it be insensitive to name this guy Muslim of the Week?

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I Hope He Fails

Monday, March 30, 2009 9:10 am

When Obama tries to open clamshell packaging, I hope he fails.

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Earth Hour – The Video of Truth

Sunday, March 29, 2009 4:12 pm

Reader Alex put together his own version of the Earth Hour video which answers the question:

If saying “yes” to lunatic environmentalists on Earth Hour is a slippery slope, what’s at the bottom of the slope?

*stands*

*applauds*

Well done, Alex.

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Global-Warming Cultists? Screw ‘Em… Celebrate Human Achievement Hour – UPDATED 3-28-09

Saturday, March 28, 2009 12:01 am

The neo-cavemen of the “1022 tons of rock is TOTALLY fragile” movement want you to turn your lights out between 8:30 and 9:30pm tonight.

To which I respond with a heartfelt “bite me”.

I’m going to celebrate Human Achievement Hour, instead.

In response to which I’m sure the 21st century hippie losers will snivel “Oh yeah? What’s there to celebrate? What have human beings ever achieved?”

Got 3 minutes?:

Personally, I’m going to celebrate by taking a minute to appreciate the taken-for-granted miracles of human civilization that surround me:


* This stupid blog post? Yeah, I’m writing words… with LIGHT! Even Gandalf never pulled that one off.

* Sure, the elves had that freaky little “vision pool” going on, but my 40-inch plasma flatscreen does the same damn thing, except in hi-def.

* The computer I’m writing this on (with LIGHT!) contains exactly zero natural or organic materials. I’ll bet that stupid hippie Steve Jobs cries himself to sleep every night just thinking about that.

* If I jump in my SUV right now, I can be 60 miles away from here an hour later. Basically it’s just really slow teleportation.

* If wolves could do that, I’d stop hunting them from airplanes just out of respect.

* I’m gonna play a CD. Look! I’m making music… with LIGHT!

* My cell phone… actually, I’m gonna turn that off because you’re busy reading, and having it pop off with “It’s Raining Men” right now would probably annoy the crap out of you.

* SIT! my domesticated dog, son of wolves who weren’t hunted from airplanes.

* Twitter… is just self-indulgent twaddle. The hippies can shut that down if they want. Of course, if they did, they might get bored and do stuff that leaves big, carbony footprints. You know, like work or bathing.

* Zo – totally not a slave anymore.


How are YOU gonna celebrate?

—————————–

PS – Regarding the last Earth Hour post… I wasn’t able to rework the Earth Hour video with appropriately ominous background music, because I still don’t have video skills or software. However, if you have some time to kill, you can do a manual mashup that I thought worked pretty well.

Load up the Earth Hour video, pause it at the 30 second mark, and mute the sound (click the speaker icon to the right of the time stamp).

Download this mp3 of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” from WFMU’s Beware of the Blog. Fire it up and pause at zero seconds.

Start the music then the video as near simultaneously as you can, and watch the Earth Hour video.

How’s that?

UPDATE 3-28-09:

Krig the Viking suggests another excellent mashup:

Pause the Earth Hour video at 26 seconds, and start Holst’s “Mars: The Bringer of War” (at 0 seconds).

It’s like these old, dead, music guys knew this was coming.

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Enemy Sun

Friday, March 27, 2009 3:43 pm

I knew we couldn’t trust the sun! Ends up it could destroy all our technology at any moment with a solar storm. Yet here we sit stupidly dependent on the sun. So why would the sun attack us like this? I don’t know, but what I do know is that nuking it only makes it stronger. We need like an anti-nuke to take out the sun, and that’s technology we don’t have. And what’s the Obama administration’s policy on this? They like the sun. They’re not even working on a defense! We need to be figuring out how to fight the sun now, but they’re too busy trying socialize the country to save us from our plasma-filled oppressor. Don’t worry; I’ll figure out how to destroy the sun. It’s my job as a blogger.

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Keith Olbermann: Biggest Dumbass in the World

Friday, March 27, 2009 1:40 pm

Keith Olbermann blasted Twitter for allowing a phony account in his name to be run by FOX News… except it was actually MSNBC who is running it to help his show. Here’s Keith Olbermann explaining how social networking sites work:

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A World Government

Friday, March 27, 2009 12:34 pm

So, I guess Geithner is open to China’s idea of a global currency replacing the dollar. I’m pretty much vehemently opposed to any proposal that holds other countries as equal to ours — like U.N. votes. Part of how America helps the world is that it remains separate from the other countries and punishes them for their weakness thus making them try to do better. If we all join together to help other countries, that’s like rewarding their suckiness, and what happens to the world if you win a prize for sucking?

That’s not to say I’m against there one day there being a one-world government and the elimination of borders. It’s just it has to happen by America conquering all other countries.

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It’s True

Friday, March 27, 2009 11:39 am

Some people have called Obama “Reaganesque“.

Well, when asked in his online town hall meeting yesterday “whether legalizing marijuana would improve the economy and job creation”, he said:

“The answer is no, I don’t think that is a good strategy to grow our economy.”

And just saying no to drugs technically makes him Nancy Reaganesque.

It’s a start.

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War Names

Friday, March 27, 2009 11:05 am

Obama is not going to call it the “War on Terror” anymore, but “Overseas Contingency Operation” just isn’t catchy enough. Here are some other names for the war he is considering:

* The War of Northern American Aggression

* That Trouble in the Middle East

* Overseas Man-Caused Conflict

* The Roosting of Our Chickens

* Operation Wacky Iraqi Attacky (wait, that was Bush’s suggestion)

* Our Contribution to the Zionist Conspiracy

* Bush’s Mess

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Poll: Should Barack Obama Fail?

Friday, March 27, 2009 10:34 am

There’s been a lot of chatter about whether or not the president should fail. Really, the only way to settle this important matter is with a pointless poll. And, by they way, failure to vote in this poll could be catastrophic for the economy and your complexion.

Should Barack Obama fail?

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Fighting Back Against Taxes

Friday, March 27, 2009 9:42 am

My column at Pajamas Media is up, and this week it’s on armed resistance to taxes. Never suffer a tax to live.

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