Follow Up on the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad
Everyone seems pretty interested in the Dick Cheney assassination squad, so I may have to do some investigative reporting into it. Is it anything like Charlie’s Angels? Do they have dinosaurs with rocket launchers as part of the team? How about dinosaurs with lasers cannons? How does one join?
I’ll need to figure out how to contact Dick Cheney and see if he’ll deny its existence. That would pretty much prove it’s real since everyone knows you can’t trust Dick Cheney.
We’ll probably find out the truth soon enough, though, as Dennis Kucinich is now on the case. Then again, that time it seemed like he had photographic evidence of weird space aliens it ended up it was just a picture of him that had been mis-filed.
(18 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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March 17th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Kucinich is just upset that he wasn’t seen as enough of a threat to be targeted. I could shoot him if he wants. Might make him feel better. It’d make me feel better.
March 17th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Decided to try out that internet immortality thing already?
March 17th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
dennis kucinach is one of those people that make Darwins theory improbable. There is no way that evolved into intellegent life. The people that keep electing it have to be even dumber.
Dick Cheney is chuckling to himself: Ha, they are sending a mosquito gram to do a mans job.
March 17th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Last I heard about Dick Cheney, he last seen in a small Kansas town smoking a cigar, in the pasenger seat of a black and red GMC van diven by some big, buff black guy with a funny hair cut and a ton of gold chains.
March 17th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Dennis Kucinach and Michael Steele are hereby nominated to be added to the team as dinosaur pooper scoopers!
March 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I love it when a plan comes together! Niiiice!
March 17th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Dennis Kucinich reminds me of that episode of South Park where the school counselor finds some hot hippie chick, goes to India and drops acid (a la The Beatles). Now if he came back like Chief after his encounter with the Super Adventure Club, we’d pretty much have a grip on his Blaggo-like sanity levels.
March 17th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Can we say Napoleon complex?
March 17th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
Poor Dennis. If only he’d made the cut for the field hockey team back in high school his life would be so different now. But, he’ll show them…he’ll show them all!!
March 17th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Wait, Dick Cheney’s really smart. So he knows that if you ask him about the assassination squad and he says there isn’t one, you’ll know that there is one. So maybe he’ll say there IS one just to throw you off. But then he’ll figure you’re smart too, so he’ll say there isn’t one to throw you off of what he thought would throw you off.
I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me…
March 17th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
The first rule of Dick Cheney Assassination Squad is there is no Dick Cheney Assassination Squad.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
You’ll have to put the word out on the street that you want an audience with Dick Cheney. I think he’s still in that undisclosed location.
Oh, and Heh Heh! You said Dennis Kucinich LOL!
March 17th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Funny you mention this said assassination squad.
Cheney was recently off his feet and in a wheelchair during this year’s transition in Washington D.C.
The movers were hauling several boxes out of his basement when Dick spotted boxes labeled ‘Torture Equipment’ and insisted he handle those personally
March 18th, 2009 at 12:10 am
The real mystery here is, how did Dennis Kucinich end up with this woman? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Kucinich Maybe she read LOTR and developed a fetish for Golum.
March 18th, 2009 at 6:20 am
I put in for that assignment, but they told me it wasn’t available. Any more.
March 18th, 2009 at 9:02 am
I miss read that the first time. I could have swore it was the Dick Cheney Assassination Squid
I got to lay off the Pirate of the Caribbean.
March 18th, 2009 at 11:47 am
[...] Q. Can anyone stop the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad? A. Dennis Kucinich is going to try. [...]