FOX Nation

Posted on March 31, 2009 12:06 pm

So FOX News has this new FOX Nation website in which I guess they’re trying to take over the conservative blogosphere. Basically, it looks like you can just comment on any news story. I like IMAO’s system better where you can comment on any news story we decide to let you comment on.

Anyway, my default attitude is to be suspicious of anything new that hasn’t linked to me. It could become the right-wing version of the Huffington Post, filled with conspiracy theorists and malcontents. Probably better to stick with more mainstream thought like IMAO.

Discussion question for today: How large a dinosaur with rocket launchers would it take to destroy the sun?

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32 Responses to “FOX Nation”

  1. DesertElephant says:

    I’m still against the Dinosaurs to attack the Sun. They are better tasked to killing Commies, Dhimmicrats and For’ners. We need stable, portable Black Hole Generators to defeat the Sun. Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers for Homeland Defense, Black Hole Generators for Planetary Defense. That’d help with any Giant Asteroid scenario as well. It’s a multitasker.

    As for FOXNation, until they link to IMAO, I don’t trust em. They’re probably being secretly funded by Spector, Snowe and their ilk to offer apologetic for wussy RINOs. Even The FRED! has recognized the awesomeness that is IMAO. FOXNation must do the same, or be destroyed by Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers.

  2. BillyRayBob says:

    Glenn Beck has the “9-12 Project” website and now Fox has “Fox Nation”.
    They are trying to give conservative people a place to gather and not feel so alone.
    Kinda like those pretty blue bug lights hanging on the front porch.

  3. BryanW says:

    You still haven’t proven that you can nuke the moon. Stick to one task at a time please!

    But if you must fire rockets at the sun, I recommend that you use lots of smaller dinosaurs with rocket launchers. The sun is sneaky! It sits up there, all big and orangey, but it is able to hide behind the moon (which still hasn’t been nuked, BTW. Just wanted to reinforce that point.). So, I’d send a horde of rocket-equipped dinosaurs and then if it tries to hide, they’ll still be able to get behind it and fire the rockets.

  4. 1/4 tsp shredded lemon peel says:

    Technically that’s a trick question: It isn’t the size of the dinosaur in the missle launch, it is the size of the missle launch in the dinosaur.

    But most reasonable guidelines don’t include the Archaeopteryx, which would be excluded for obvious reasons.

  5. DamnCat says:

    I like IMAO because I think we get a better class of extreme right-wing, bitter, trigger-happy, Palin-lovin’, Rush-listenin’, redneck, racist, neanderthal, facist, cracker commenters here than other sites do.

  6. hwy93 says:

    I’m not sure how big the dinosaur would need to be, but the rocket would only need to be big enough to carry Al Gore. I’m sure if we could just deliver him to the sun, he could convince the sun to stop all of this global warming nonsense.

  7. BigRichardSmall says:

    I guess Fox no longer cares if people think they are Fair and Balanced anymore? The site is a disappointment. I stopped looking at “News Networks” a long time ago. At least when bloggers report they put their prejudices up front. Besides all the decent reporters started blogging a long time ago. Even John Stossel writes for Townhall.

    I’m going to take the Transformer approach. The Dinobots were the toughest muthers around for a while, but then came the robots that could combine to form a bigger robot, and the Dinobots couldn’t compete. Luckily the Autobots had Omega Supreme who was already huge. Instead of rocket launchers at the sun, maybe we should go the route of having Dinosaurs that can genetically combine together with other Dinosaurs to form an even larger Dinosaur, and then we can have them combine with other combined Dinosaurs to form even bigger Dinosaurs. Eventually we’ll have a Unicron sized Dinosaur that can destroy the sun or absorb its power so it can attack other solar systems. And then we control the universe.

  8. Lechteron says:

    To 6: No that wouldn’t work. Al Gore is so full of hot air that he’d just make the sun stronger. Freaking nuclear power being so awesome.

  9. AwesometificAmerican says:

    We here you master Frank J and obey!

    I do not think there ever was a dinosaur that lived that could handle the job. The best option would be to mix-n-match dino DNA to create one to your specifications.

  10. innominatus says:

    BryanW says: …The sun is sneaky! It sits up there, all big and orangey, but it is able to hide behind the moon…

    Yes! But even more than that, it has like some kind of cloaking device. When the sun emits all that awful heat and light, it takes about 8 minutes to reach us. But during those 8 minutes, the sun actually MOVES! Do you understand, people?!? When we look up at the sun and burn our retinae like the tribesmen of old, that evil sun isn’t even IN THE PLACE IT LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD BE! It mocks us! It is a dazzlingly bright, giant, ongoing thermonuclear reaction, framed against the black background of deep space, YET WE CAN’T SEE IT UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE! It is camouflaged in plain sight!

    If the dinosaurs are stupid (we are talking about ordinary stupid dinosaurs, right?) they’ll aim their rockets at the visible sun and we’ll be screwed. Our only hope is that Frank’s 3D game programming skills enable him to calculate the right amount of “lead” for the rockets and this flaming menace will finally be ended.

  11. Tim says:

    Velociraptors with a Hadron Collider could destroy the solar system. Maybe the Euro-wussies are on to something after all…

  12. Plentyobailouts says:

    #6, they do not make a dinosaur big enoug to carry gore’s fat ass or his head. However if you attached that one’s ears, maybe the solar wind would work to be its own self destruction.

  13. Veeshir says:

    Geez FrankJ, what’s the deal lately?
    First, not much of teh funny, here you’re trying to get us to make wit teh funny.

    Second, a couple days ago I wrote about wanting to subscribe to your newsletter. It seems to me you could have gone three ways on that: you ridicule me (probably your best option) and give me a link to IMAO, or you give me a link to your paypal page and demand that I actually subscribe, or you could ignore me and pass up teh funny. You chose option the third.

    But that’s just peripheral stuff, now I find this.
    Baraquaman. How did you miss coming up with that?

  14. Plentyobailouts says:

    Veeshir, the current communist regime does not allow a sense of humor on teh internet. Get with the predetermined leftist talking points. You get to say how bad conservatives are, that America is evil, that that one is not a commiunist pansy arsed homosexual, and that tgeitner is the only man for the job. Other than those talking points, everything else is prohibited. Except of course, *forbidden*.

  15. The Incorrigible Platypus says:

    Why are we stuck on T-Rex’s, still? Does nobody watch Discovery or History channel? Predator X has been unearthed, and it was like ten times the size of a T-Rex! That means ten times as much kickassness and terrorists crapping themselves ten times as much! So, I say we forget the T-Rex’s and instead concentrate on developing Predator X’s with Gatling Nuke Launchers instead.

    [I was disappointed by that special. Two hours long and they didn’t even finish putting the skull together by the end.

    Yeah, it’s bigger, but it’s limited to water. Like Aquaman. -Ed.]

  16. Veeshir says:

    But FrnakJ is the soundtrack to The Funniest End of Civilization Ever, we need him.

  17. NunyaB says:

    *phew* IMAO was the first place I linked to.

    On topic, I like IMAO better too, because not only can we comment on what is allowed, we can mock it too…and it’s usually the things that are most mock-worthy.

  18. Mgbfred says:

    Not Al Gore, he WANTS to destroy the sun, and HE’S never accomplished ANYTHING! They gave him a Nobel prize just to get him to shut up & go away (which DIDN’T work).
    We need only one missile. A guided missile, with a good old-fashioned pilot! WE NEED SLIM PICKINS, riding that lone ICBM, like he did in Doctor Strangelove. I would think the amount of alcohol contained therein should do the trick! That, and all of his “…essential bodily fluids…!”

  19. DesertElephant says:

    I think Tim is onto something. You will not stop the Black Hole with your distraction of REALLY cool, kickass Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers.

  20. Kent says:

    I doubt even Jupiter could make much of a dent, and basically anything big enough to make a “dent” would also just add to its mass. About the only thing you could do is collapse a red dwarf into a black hole, and shoot it into the edge of the sun with such force that it would rip the sun’s mass apart A) without the black hole falling back into the collective center of gravity and B) without the sun retaining sufficient mass to maintain nuclear fusion. Alternatively, you could heat the outer atmosphere enough to cause runaway fusion outside the core, inducing a nova. You might even be able to do that with a huge assembly of mirrors.

    Hmmm. Rainy days and solar apocalypse always get me down.

  21. Rick says:

    the sun appears to be a significant fireball. Putting it out can only be done safely with a large amount of CO2. Probably a large cylinder will be needed. As usual, CO2 is the solution.

    But how come we’re fighting the sun? maybe I need to read the archives here or something.

  22. Jimmy says:

    First of all, the sun ain’t “orangey.” It’s yellow-bellied just like Murtha and other Congressional Democrats. And it knows we’re cooking something up (unlike the Dem’s) because it’s been dead quiet for several years now when it should be ramping up and boiling with sunspots and other junk. It’s WATCHING US!

    What we need is EXOTIC MATTER injected into the sun to give it a big anti-gravity boost. That should wake it up and shake it up inside. So, we need to procure some exotic matter, Frank.

    Or, we could put the ‘musket to its junk” and threaten the crap out of it. Maybe we could threaten to shove Mercury or Venus up its ass.

    Was there a question we were supposed to answer?

  23. midwestconservative says:

    I’ll follow IMAO, fox news , and Fox nation , and maybe a few others . I’m looking for the point in time when people like Damncat decide enough is enough and gather to put an end to the current madness!!!

  24. midwestconservative says:

    I still say Dino’s are too much trouble , A genetically altered blue whale (the largest animal ever on earth) could carry trident missiles. Range might be an issue but they would be stealthy and really cool!!!

  25. Adam Mk 1 Mod 0 says:

    You need black-hole-launchers. But it’s ok, we’re getting close.

  26. Jimmy says:

    I’d like to amend my comment in #22 to read:


    Yeah, that would be better. I don’t know about the “injection” thingy idea, though.

  27. Son of Bob says:

    Well, on, all posts are sent through a “moderator” and posted hours later…apparently, if they meet the “moderation” standards. Here, there’s no censorship, so you can say that Chimpy Obamitler is a fag. It’s only if you say something unreasonable here that it may be removed.

  28. MikeJ says:

    There are really two things you need to clarify: Are we talking how big a rocket launcher or how big a dinosaur or is it assumed that they will both scale in proportion to one another.

    Also, why are we limiting ourselves to dinosaurs? We could do better I believe. We’d get more lift and usable surface area by attaching the rockets to Bob Dole’s ears.

  29. AR says:

    Dinosaurs are old news, there is a much better option now:

    Sure they aren’t as big, but with a little genetic modification they could be!

  30. Terry_Jim says:

    I don’t know how many dinosaurs you are taking, but for safety’s sake, please go at night.

  31. Live Free Or Die says:

    Sticking to the discussion question, I believe those commenters(tators?) suggesting size of the dinosaur is not the issue, are correct. The Compsognathus was the size of a chicken, but swift, dextrous, and able to avoid giant dinosaurs. Since the sun is a giant sphere of nuclear fusion,( Have we confirmed that the sun is actually our enemy? I mean, I read somewhere that not every thing you read is true, especially on the internet, since Al Gore invented it.) their dexterity would allow them to make the necessary adjustments to this moving menace. Also since they are small, we could have a multi-simultaneous launch at a great savings to the taxpayers! Wait, O-bah-muhh is in office, scratch that taxpayers savings idea. I’m cool with whatever FrankJ, FredT, Dick Cheney /Halliburton come up with, providing the sun actually is our enemy, a nuclear fusion sphere is a terrible thing to waste.

  32. 5 of 7 says:

    Larry Niven, Ringworld. Classic Scifi novel.
    We build a ring around the sun, with a radius of 92 million miles. Spin it for gravity, put walls a thousand miles high facing inward on the edges and we wouldn’t even have to roof it over to keep the air in. The spinning ring generates a magnetic field that forces the solar wind in whatever direction we want and we turn our whole solar system (whatever’s left after building the ring) into a gigantic spaceship and go cruising in style.
    We don’t need to destroy the sun, We Enslave It!

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