Can I get the two by four back that I had tied across my ass?

He very obviously wouldn’t. We can tell by his spouse that he prefers hideous he/she beasts that eat small white children for brunch. Besides, Sarah is way too much woman for him… not for me however. Mrrrow! I’ll have what Todd’s having.

Sarah Palin, Would you hit it?

The news has been filled with people the world over naming their anchor babies Barak, Does it upset you the there are real American patriots naming their children John Galt?

If you had it all to do over again, whouldn’t you really have prefered the white side of your skin pigment to have been dominant? And if so, would you really be such a ni@@!r lover?

Is it still painful to sit on the stub left from your prehensile tail removal surgery?

I live in the United States, could you give me the contact information for the Brittish PM, he has some DVD’s I’d like to borrow. (I have a program that can copy them without region codes, don’t tell anyone)

As a follow-up to a previous question. If there are no silver bullets to solve the finantial ‘crisis’ why have you installed a lone ranger in the treasury department? Also, it seems to me we have plenty of depleted uranium rounds to fire in all directions to kill something in congress. Shouldn’t there at least be a single marine blasting away at SOMETHING? (hint: Chaney is a hell of a shot)

When the white house ‘garden’ finally gives fruit in the summer this year, how are you going to explain the 4 rows of watermellons and callerd greens to the white population without seeming racist?

When the next wave of ‘human caused damage’ happens, will you honestly expect that F-16 pilot to shoot down the aircraft before it crashes into the white house, or do you expect him to escort it there? (my bet is on the latter)

Are you the dumbest smartest or the smartest dumbest prez ever? Or just a communist?

If something were to happen to your teleprompter, do you become president?

2. In four years, will your new slogan be, “I suppose we couldn’t”?

3. Will you ask Barney Frank to say “six silly sisters sipped sassafras” ten times fast?

4. Michelle wants to know when the @*#%!! are you going to start leaving the toilet seat down.

My Mommy says she hope you’re faster than a speeding bullet…..I don’t know why she says that….But I figured I’de ask so she wont worry. Are you faster than a speeding bullet?

“I’m looking over the questions submitted to you on this site, in every category, and notice a lot of questions about legalization of pot.
Is everyone who voted for you stoned?
It would explain a great deal.”

I created this under the user name Haywood Jablowme.

Funny – I bet the people who say we should legalize it and tax it, if we did, would immediately complain the taxes were too high, or destroy the tax system with homegrown.

Ask a silly question of the people who voted for Obama, get Bevis and Butthead.

and

“*Senator Benjamin Cardin has proposed a measure to help newspapers that are struggling to stay afloat by allowing them to reorganize as non-profit entities”

Don’t these cancel each other out? Nobody will a buy newspaper but they’re going to make non-deductible donations?

Q. Since you’ve had a hard time picking Treasuring Department officials, have you tried picking your nose, instead? Would you pick your friend Tim Geithner’s nose if you had to?

Q. Are you now picking your nose too much, or not enough?

Q. Are you praising Bush for his deficits or criticizing him? ‘Cause if you’re praising him, weren’t Bush’s smaller deficits better, like your penis?

Do your ears hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie them in a knot?

Can you tie them in a bow?

Can you throw them over your shoulder like a Continental soldier?

I was simply explaining that we need to raise taxes in order to pay for the demonization. And for the re-education camps. And the excavation equipment for the mass graves.

* Senator Benjamin Cardin has proposed a measure to help newspapers that are struggling to stay afloat by allowing them to reorganize as non-profit entities. If you support this measure, would you support a similar measure for bloggers? I mean, I sit around all day making stuff up, and I’m not making any money at it, either.

I support any measure that forbids businesses from making a profit. How do you think I came up with my economic plan?

* If Treasury Secretary Geithner is fired or resigns, who will replace him. Are there any Democrat tax cheats left in Washington who aren’t already part of your administration?

I feel you, dawg. It’s like they’re all in the math Special Olympics or something. Ha ha.

* Although you expressed outrage over the AIG bonuses, you don’t seem too upset about the millions in Fannie Mae bonuses. Are you saying that it’s OK to use bailout money for bonuses as long as your company name sounds like a character from the Beverly Hillbillies?

Or from The Jeffersons.

Guards? I thought I ordered you to kill him….

* What would you do for a Klondike bar?

* Is it true that Michelle once unhinged her lower jaw & devoured a water buffalo whole? It looks like she certainly could…

* Now that dissent is no longer patriotic, what will happen to people like myself, who have criti-

Why else do you think I used that giant, greenhouse gas-spewing Plasma TV?

* A two-part question: In your speech on the economy, you said “there are no silver bullets”. If that’s true, then – first – how will America defend itself from a werewolf invasion, and – second – have you considered asking the Lone Ranger for assistance?

I will answer those questions at the next pep rally…errr…press conference…because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak. Child vampires and how to use them to acquire cocaine is more my area of supernatural expertise.

* You criticized AIG executives for “enriching themselves on the taxpayers’ dime”, calling it “inexcusable”. Does this standard apply to your $500,000 book deal? Or is your book deal OK because it was done before you assumed the Presidency? And does this make the AIG bonuses OK, because they were set up before they accepted the bailout?

Your insolence displeases Me. Guards, kill him!