As you all know, the challenges of today’s military requires dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them. First, we’ll need dinosaur DNA. One way to get that is from finding some fossilized DNA, but no luck on that so far. If there was CSI: Cretaceous Period, there would be no convictions. So scientists are looking to a more available source of dinosaur DNA: the chicken.
The chicken in its current form is woefully unable to support a rocket launcher, but DNA is a lot like poorly written code where function calls are commented out but the functions are still there even though they’re never used. So scientists are going to hack the chicken as its embryo develops and call the unused functions like “Grow Dino-Tail” and “Grow Dino-Claws” and before you know it, they’ll have a Tyrannosaurus Rex that’s still genetically a chicken. Then they just need to mount a rocket launcher on it. Easy peasy.
Man, I wonder what problems they had 65.5 million years ago that things were too harsh for a T-Rex survive but perfectly fine for a chicken. Obviously the problem wasn’t having something to mount rocket launchers on.
(hat tip to Dave Barry — and I should note that “Devolved Chicken” would be a great name for a rock band)