That Wacky Hamas

Apparently, Hamas somehow got its hands on some Stinger missiles and tried to shoot down Israeli helicopters… except that Stinger missiles are programmed to identify and not fire on Apache helicopters. Seeing Hamas with our modern weaponry makes me think of a chimp with a gun: it can use it and be a danger, but it’s never going to understand it.

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Still Haven’t Seen It

Thumbs down for Watchmen.

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Barack the Barbarian

So will he read his battle cry off a teleprompter?

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We Need Newspaper

Newspapers are dying, and a lot of people are blase about it. I don’t know what that word means, but it’s probably not good. Anyway, everyone thinks they don’t need newspaper because they can just get their news on a laptop now, but that is beyond idiotic. A laptop is no way substitute for a newspaper, and to say so is to forget the long history we’ve had with newspaper.


* You can’t discipline a dog with internet news as striking a dog with a laptop could be regarded as animal abuse and also may void your laptop’s warranty.

* Additionally, trying to housebreak by laying out a laptop for the dog to pee on doesn’t work very well.

* When painting, laying down enough laptops to soak up dripped paint would be highly expensive.

* While you could enclose a fish in a laptop, it’s an inconvenient way to carry them and it might damage the fish.

* Few birdcages can fit a laptop at the bottom.

* Laptops are poor packing material, even if crushed into small pieces.

* Silly putty doesn’t work on a comic displayed on a laptop screen.

See, without a laptop, your home would be covered in paint and bird and dog poo with raw fish just lying out in the open and your silly putty sitting away in drawer somewhere unused. You’d be a barbarian. Is that worth sticking it to the liberal media by letting newspapers go bankrupt?

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lolbama! Part 11

This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at

I’m sitting out this week because you guys did all the work.

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

From Eros:

From Gumlegs:

From Nicole:

Also from Nicole:

From Susie:

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Andrew of Andrew ex Machina:

From Austin-215:

From Dan:

From Sean:

From jedijson:

From Matt:

[reference link]

From Michael:

[reference link]

From Peregrine John:

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

From Russell:

[TOTUS reference link]

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with :

#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

Send your submissions to and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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He’s Still the President

I was discouraged to see how many commenters yesterday said they hoped that Obama would turn into a goat and stay that way. Despite my own differences with Obama, he is the President of the United States and it would not reflect well on our country to have a president stuck in the form of a goat whether through black magic or otherwise. This would ruin numerous treaties (most of them have a “no treaty with goats” clause) and make us the laughingstock of our enemies. While it is okay to hope Obama fails, for the sake of the country wish him good health and non-goatness.

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I wish there was some way we could have seen this coming.

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