Butt heads

Right up front, I need to let you know that I don’t like smoking. If you smoke, I don’t like that you smoke.

However, I understand that it’s your decision to smoke. I just figured you were smarter than that. Obviously, I was wrong about some of you.

But you don’t need me preaching to you about all the things that are bad about smoking. You’ve heard it all. You know all the reasons.

And, if you still smoke, that’s your decision. I just don’t want to have to smell it.

I don’t want to have to pick up your cigarette butts, either.

And that’s my quandary.

When I was in the Army, one of the duties I hated most was having to police the area around the barracks or around the company or battalion headquarters.

Not that I minded picking up trash so much. Things would blow in — candy wrappers, Burger King bags, paper napkins, and such — and they’d need to be policed up.

But the wind doesn’t really blow cigarette butts very far. When we picked up cigarette butts, it was because some butt head had tossed it on the ground.

Being a non-smoker, I didn’t like picking up the butts. But it needed to happen. Soldiers often go in and clean up other people’s messes. Whether it’s something some politician screwed up somewhere, or someone’s cigarette butts on the ground, soldiers end up cleaning it up.

So, when I read about Deb Schallert and her crusade to make it a crime in Oregon to toss cigarette butts on the ground, I understood from whence she came.

But I disagree with her.

It’s already a crime to litter. Even in Oregon. I suppose another law is supposed to make people stop?

And that’s the mentality of lots of folks. “Hey, let’s pass a law making it illegal, and people will stop.”

Passing laws has certainly stopped other things like:

  • Drinking and driving
  • Smoking dope
  • Robbing banks
  • Rape
  • Speeding
  • Murder
  • Kidnapping
  • Running red lights

I mean, nobody does any of those things since they’ve been made illegal, right?

Oh, I’m certainly not saying that we shouldn’t have laws preventing these — and other — things. I’m saying that if one law doesn’t stop it, why would another law stop it?

That’s the thing about that mentality: pass another law.

You end up with a United Nations that passes resolutions and follows up with more resolutions — resolutions that rouge nations will just ignore. [Edit: I would have said “rogue nations,” but most of them like to wear makeup and walk around in women’s clothes when no one is looking, so “rouge nations” works.]

You end up with more and more laws that make it harder for law-abiding citizens to do simple things — laws the criminals are going to ignore anyway.

You end up making a bunch of noise and not solving the problem.

Somebody throw a cigarette butt down in front of you? Hit them in the nose with a newspaper.

Yes, that’s what you do with a bad puppy. But most folks that throw cigarette butts on the ground aren’t any smarter than a puppy. And not nearly as cute.

It also give newspapers a purpose.

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Obama the Pee Wee!

With a title like that, you know you want to watch:

Is he symbolically assassinating the president as the end? I think he is. Liberals should be outraged and post this video everywhere.

UPDATE:

Here’s Zo’s take on the bow:

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Left-Wing Extremists

I know I’m supposed to be all angry that the DHS seemed to focus a lot more on right-wing extremists than left-wing extremists, but who is more of a threat if they suddenly decide to get violent? The left is a bunch of impotent sissies; on their best days they could never aspire to be anything more than a pest. In fact, the right could easily wipe out the left any time we felt like it. That’s objective proof right there that the right is infinitely more tolerant than the left: Each day we make a conscious decision to let the left continue to exist. It’s really rather magnanimous of us.

Hey, we’re nice guys… if maybe a little extreme.

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All a-Twitter

Frank J. has decided to try Twitter again.

He likes it. And he’s using a plug-in to automatically pull his Twitter posts (“Tweets”? “Twits”?) into a daily wrap-up.

Many of the commenters don’t like it.

Here’s the thing.

Most of the commenters like Frank’s “Random Thought” posts. A lot. They get lots of comments and lots of 4- and 5-star ratings.

Folks hate Frank’s Twitter posts, but love his Random Thoughts. Which are essentially what Twitter updates are.

I think people just don’t like Twitter, though they like what Twitter is and does.

Imagine if Frank removed all reference to “Twitter” in those posts…

Suppose he called the daily updates “Today’s Random Thoughts”?

And put them in the “Random Thoughts” category?

And edited the “aktt_credit” class in the stylesheet to not display?

Then, it’d be not just be, but look like, a daily Random Thoughts update.

I bet most of the readers would love that.

Am I right?

And what does that say about us?

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Illegal Spying

Apparently the scallywags at the NSA have been spying more than they’re legally allowed to. Then again, there are right-wing extremists on the rise; no time to be checking the law every minute.

Is phone spying really needed anymore, though? Who uses phones to communicate? It’s all Twitter and Facebook and MySpace. If the government suddenly mandated we all needed to report what we’re doing throughout the day so they can keep tabs on us, there is a pretty large segment of the population that would mean no absolutely no change to. Perhaps privacy is just one of those pre-internet concepts.

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Obama Proposes New Tea Control Policy

WASHINGTON (AP) – Responding to the rising threat from right-wing extremist groups, President Barack Obama today proposed a bill that would implement strict controls on the use of tea, a weapon favored by domestic terrorist groups.

Artists conception of crazed, right-wing extremists plotting the violent overthrow of the US government

“One of this country’s founding principles is the right to keep and bear tea,” said Obama, “but with that right comes certain responsibilities. Some radical extremist groups are not living up to their responsibilities, and have used their tea in a criminal and irresponsible manner to disrupt the democratic process and threaten our government offices, our waterways, and even our lawns with acts of criminal tea-dumping.”

The President emphasized that he has no problem with groups that use tea for legitimate purposes.

“Old women, effeminate Brits, and bored housewives who like a cup of chamomile to wash down their Prozac are not the problem,” said Obama. “The problem is that, too often, tea can fall into the wrong hands, and I think that yesterday the whole nation witnessed the tragic results of that. What this country needs is reasonable, common-sense restrictions on tea to ensure the safety of ALL Americans.”

Some of the restrictions proposed by Obama:

* mandatory safety locks on tea cups

* registration of fully automatic teamakers

* halting the sale of boxes of tea that contain more than 10 bags

* requiring permits for carrying concealed tea.

* banning the sale of any tea equipped with a pistol grip, bayonet mount, or flash suppressor

“I believe,” said Obama “that with these few prudent and sensible limitations, we can reduce tea violence in our cities, protect our children from accidental over-caffeination, and halt the uncontrolled flow of our tea into Mexico, all while still fully respecting our Founding Fathers’ admiration for warm, leaf-based beverages that has made this country great for over 200 years.”

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After the Tea Party

Obviously these tea parties were a bad idea, because the left wouldn’t lash out with childish anger against something they actually found threatening, would they?

Obama has high approval ratings and apparently majorities or near majorities like Obama’s spending plans and taxes, but I’m pretty curious how those polls would look if they were weighted with people’s tax burden. The top 50% of income earners pay about 97% of the taxes. So basically we have about half of the country voting how to spend the other half’s money. I don’t think that’s a sustainable system. There is no democratic right to screw me over. And it would be nice if when the Congress votes to spend hundreds of billions of dollars of our money, they would be at least motivated enough to try and get some idea of exactly what it will be spent on.

So what now? I dunno. I’m gong to blog about how I don’t like Obama and think he’s stupid. And work for a living. And secretly continue my research on breeding dinosaurs that I will arm with rocket launchers to help fight high spending and taxation. Hopefully the DHS won’t catch on, because that is exactly what they warned about in their report.

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Gore Invented the Internet, But Obama Invented Using It

No wonder tea parties are anti-CNN:

Conservatives borrowed a page from President Obama’s Web-savvy style to promote the [tea party] gatherings on videos and blogs.

IMAO: Borrowing pages from Obama since 2002.

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Why We’re Extreme

CNN reporter is harassed? How about CNN reporter is a ginormous patronizing bitch?

Yeah, you keep fighting MSNBC over the tiny liberal slice of the pie and cede the much the bigger portion to FOX News and see how that works for you.

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Why Do They Plunder Us?

My new PJM column is up, and it takes an introspective look at the motivations of pirates.

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When the French call you weak…

Drudge reports that the president of France has called the president of the U.S. “weak” and “meek.”

The source of that, an article at the Times Online, says that Nicolas Sarkozy was critical of Barack Obama’s performance at the G20, specifically in relation to his stance regarding Turkey:

Mr Obama was meekly yielding to Turkey’s refusal to endorse Anders Fogh Rasmussen as the alliance’s new Secretary-General. It took pressure from Mr Sarkozy and Chancellor Merkel of Germany to stiffen him up and change his mind, say the French.

France and Germany working together against the Americans? That hasn’t happened to this degree since the July 1940 to August 1944 time frame.

But is it really the Americans they are against? Or just this intern that occupies the Oval Office?

I’m actually going to enjoy this.

No, not another country criticizing the president of the United States. That’s the job of right-wing extremists like me.

What I’m going to enjoy is watching my liberal friends (yes, I have a couple) and acquaintances try to sort this out.

They absolutely love Europe. And they love the French most of all the western European countries.

They also love Obama.

I’m going to watch the liberals’ heads explode as they try to figure out what to do.

I hope I get pictures.

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Twitter Updates for 2009-04-16

  • @PatrickRuffini The government has lots of stuff they need to pay for, but they leave us enough to buy food. Let’s not become extremists. in reply to PatrickRuffini #
  • RT @JonHenke: Funny how fast the Left went from “Jesus was a community organizer!” to “community organizing is astroturf!” #
  • @curiouswork You sound like an extremist I should report to the DHS. in reply to curiouswork #
  • It will be interesting to see how a protest goes when it’s not run entirely by useless people. #teaparty #
  • So is today when all the violent right-wingers the DHS warned us about do their coup? #teaparty #
  • @JonHenke But we like being angry! in reply to JonHenke #
  • Just saw MSNBC headline: “It’s tax day and no one is complaining” #
  • If you weighted support for Obama with people’s tax burden, I wonder what it would look like? #teaparty #
  • @PatrickRuffini No, increase taxes on the poor. We need to tax behavior we want to discourage, like being poor. in reply to PatrickRuffini #
  • I knew she was a closet liberal! http://tinyurl.com/d9owat #
  • It would be neat if the MSM got Baghdad Bob to cover the Tea Parties. #teaparty #
  • @allahpundit Howard Kurtz sounds like an extremist. Maybe we should report him to the DHS. in reply to allahpundit #
  • Why is everybody so angry? Smart people can’t seem to understand. http://tinyurl.com/cwckfq #teaparty #
  • RT @TheOnion In Focus: Inner-City Prodigy Earns GED At Age 11 http://bit.ly/RZwHj #
  • My mom was so angry recently she wrote an e-mail to both Obama and Pelosi. I hope the DHS is watching her. #
  • It’s Patriot Day! http://tinyurl.com/d7n27y So why are so many of the Obama Administration unpatriotic? #
  • Representation should be proportional to tax burden. That’s fair. #teaparty #
  • Hippies are no better than pirates. #teaparty #
  • @TomCrowe If you have two sniper bullets and a pirate and a hippie, what do you do? Beat the hippie to death with the rifle. in reply to TomCrowe #
  • Ron Paul supporter calling Fred Thompson show worried about Obama giving us bird flu. #
  • Bucket stuck on his head this whole time. RT @allahpundit White House: Obama is “unaware” of the tea parties http://is.gd/sBgq #
  • Sissies RT @jaketapper someone threw teabags over the WH fence+now parts of WH are in temporary lockdown while Secret Service checks it out #
  • @usmcpanzer Hey foo’. Only took me a day to get hooked. You just got a jump right in and find some good people to follow. in reply to usmcpanzer #
  • Spending package? RT @BreakingNews Emergency services at the White House to investigate suspicious package #
  • RT @johnhawkinsrwn Liberals love to think of themselves as sophisticated, meanwhile they’re all teabagging jokes and bumper sticker slogans. #
  • I just realized that when most people look at my username, they’ll think my name is “Frank Jiamo” #
  • I guess dems pay taxes instead of charity, except they don’t pay those either. RT @jaketapper Bidens declare $269,256… $1,885 to charity #
  • RT @ExurbanJon Love all the anti-teaparty lefties.Tonight they’ll be scraping off the 1st word of their “Question Authority” bumper stickers #
  • Primary reason Bidens only gave pocket change to charity: Hatred of the poor. #
  • @scrowder Good luck, dude! Be funny! in reply to scrowder #
  • @allahpundit Come on. Secession would be great for the news cycle. in reply to allahpundit #
  • Do it! It will be funny! RT @BreakingNews Gov. Rick Perry in an “anti-tax tea party” suggested Texans might…want to secede from the union #
  • @mkhammer I’m sure that’s what the rich puppet masters organizing these wanted you to claim. in reply to mkhammer #
  • @fatelvis04 And Obama will shake his fist at Texas impotently. It will be high-larious. in reply to fatelvis04 #
  • @mkhammer Could have avoided this if we made it a Coffee Party. No innuendo there. Plus, more manly. in reply to mkhammer #
  • Is it really surprising the DHS considers right-wing extremism more of a threat? Lefties are bunch of impotent little sissies. #
  • @allahpundit Well keep it to yourself if you don’t want to be ripped apart by your commenters. in reply to allahpundit #
  • Uh-oh. Huge money recall. http://bit.ly/p4jOt #
  • So are we all going to do a roundup of racists jokes we heard at the tea parties? #teaparty #
  • @allahpundit When I saw GaGa on American Idol, I honestly thought it was an April Fools joke. Kids these days. in reply to allahpundit #
  • Someone should do an opposite of Twitter where there is a 1000 character minimum. #
  • @jimtreacher The left’s reaction to tea parties reminds me of the apes and the monolith in 2001. in reply to jimtreacher #
  • I think TweetDeck is causing my computer to freeze. #
  • 2,500 for Boise. http://bit.ly/122pM #teaparty #
  • Watching AI results with wife. Hope there’s big surprise and they publicly execute all of them. #
  • RT @Lileks I’ll accept teabaggers for the protestors if the other side agrees to be salad tossers. After all, they throw around the green. #
  • New Red Dawn. This time it’s the Chinese (plus the Russians). http://tinyurl.com/dclcrw #

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