Blame Canada

Janet NapolitanoLet me be the first Right Wing Extremist® to go on record and say that not all Obama administration members blame everything on America.

Take U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, for instance.

Monday, she spoke with CBC reporter Neil Macdonald, and repeated the false perception that Democrats such as Charles Shumer have perpetrated, that the 9/11 hijackers came across the Canadian border to the United States:

(JN:) Nonetheless, to the extent that terrorists have come into our country or suspected or known terrorists have entered our country across a border, it’s been across the Canadian border. There are real issues there.

NM: Are you talking about the 9/11 perpetrators?

JN: Not just those but others as well.

Macdonald, to his credit, called her on it. Something you often don’t see in the American media.

But, this seems to sum up the Obama administration … and most Democrats … today. Blame America for everything, which is wrong. When they don’t blame America, they blame a friend of America, and are wrong.

See what’s common? It’s that they’re wrong.

At least they are consistent.

“Right Wing Extremist” is a registered trade mark of the Department of Homeland Security and is used with permission. Copyright © 2009, all rights reserved.

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Obama to right past CIA wrongs, blow up Los Angeles

WASHINGTON (AP) – Following recent revelations of harsh interrogation techniques during the Bush administration, coupled with the release of a CIA memo stating that those techniques were effective, the Obama administration has decided to “right past wrongs” and accomplish what the terrorists couldn’t: blow up Los Angeles.

“High value information came from interrogations in which those methods were used and provided a deeper understanding of the al Qa’ida organization that was attacking this country,” Adm. Dennis C. Blair, the intelligence director, wrote in a memo to his staff last Thursday.

Admiral Blair sent his memo on the same day the administration publicly released secret Bush administration legal memos authorizing the use of interrogation methods that the Obama White House has deemed to be illegal torture. Among other things, the Bush administration memos revealed that two captured Qaeda operatives were subjected to a form of near-drowning known as waterboarding a total of 266 times.

“We were shocked when we learned the full extent of the inappropriate techniques approved by the CIA under the previous administration,” White House press secretary Robert L. Gibbs told reporters. “That’s one of the reasons we made the memos public. We want everyone to know what was done, supposedly in our name, and that this administration does not condone such actions.”

Nakatomi Plaza
Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles was the first building destroyed in the Obama administration’s attempt to right past wrongs.

The president plans to go even further, Gibbs said.

“It would be unconscionable for this administration to look the other way, just because those tactics achieved results. It was wrong to use them, and we should not benefit from their use,” Gibbs stated. “The president had directed that, since those tactics obtained information that prevented a major attack on Los Angeles, it is only right that we carry out the attack on ourselves.”

Late last night, the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles was destroyed. It was one of the high profile targets of the operatives that were to carry out the attacks on the west coast.

“We have transcripts of all the information obtained from Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and Abu Zubaydah. They listed all the targets and the time frames of the scheduled attacks,” Gibbs said. “We are looking to compile a list of all those who were at or near the targets on the dates in question. Their deaths were prevented by these illegal interrogation tactics. The president seeks to correct that.”

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You Come for Cheney, Cheney Will Come for You

If the Obama administration decides to prosecute people from the Bush administration, I hope Cheney marches to the White House and shouts, “You want me! Come out here and get me!” And then he’ll grab the gate and shake it while growling as Obama flees to an underground shelter. And then the snipers will open fire on Cheney, but that won’t stop him.

Because he’s made of metal.

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It’s Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day! That means the earth turns 4,543,823,194 today. It’s old. Very old. I wonder if it can even really support today’s modern lifestyle. It really seems like we should be getting a new earth by now. One that’s young and hip. One that’s not your typical planet. One that not afraid of wearing black, getting tattoos, and having gay friends. An earth for the future.

Probably won’t though. It will be just another year of boring old stupid earth. I wish we would just conquer Saturn and settle on a moon there. There no life on Saturn, though, so I’m not sure how we know when we’ve defeated it. I guess we just go over there, launch a few missiles at it, and declare ourselves victors. Then we could celebrate Saturn Day every year, and it would be a much better holiday.

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The Department of Homeland Security – via its lickspittle toady Rev. Right of America is an Obamanation – has honored IMAO with the “WARNING! Extreme Right-Wing Website Dangerous Thought Content” Award.

Personally I don’t think IMAO has earned this award, since this site hasn’t recruited a veteran in over 5 years, but unlike Ms. Napolitano, I don’t consider myself qualified to say what’s right and what’s wrong, so I’ll just take what I’m given and like it.


To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 2 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

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Now get honoring!

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Straight From the Hippie’s Mouth

Obama can ride around in his 8 gallons-to-the-mile limo and blather on about how the whole world can just live off wind, solar, and unicorn power, but a Canadian hippie who actually TRIED to live without petroleum had this to say:

If there is any conclusion I have it is that sustainable and renewable energy sources cannot support our current lifestyle. What people think is a small amount of energy is actually quite the opposite. Think of it this way. A liter of gasoline will drive a car about 25 kilometers -now push your car that distance and see what one liter of gasoline is actually worth.

By the way, did you know that dead bug buildup on windmill blades can significantly reduce their efficiency? “Windmill blade bug scrubber” is just one of the millions of green jobs Obama plans to create.

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Protect Your Guns Because They Can’t Protect Themselves

NRA has a free trial membership available now. Support for gun control is at an all time low, but the current administration is sneaky. With enough support, maybe we can finally kill the beast and secure guns for everyone throughout the country. Guns are our friends — much more so than cats — and its time we started treating them like that.

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Random Thoughts

I like to keep my religion simple. I make small fires and worship them.

I’m not your typical Republican. I have tattoos, I wear shoes on my hands, and I enjoy arson. I’m what the Party needs.

I am not your typical Republican. I wear black, I own a pet dingo, and I live in an abandoned water tower. I can appeal to today’s youths.

I’m not your typical Republican. I have gay friends, I’ve been hiccuping for eight years, and I can play a sitar. I’m the Party’s future.

I’m for beating terrorists with a hammer if it will help get needed information or is funny.

If the Republican Party wants to be relevant today, it needs to abandon its purely religious objection to strangling babies.

To be clear, Andrew Sullivan is against torturing any terrorists for no matter what’s at stake, but logic is fair game?

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10 Simple Things You Can Do To Save The Earth

Some helpful tips for Earth Day:

Once the earth is fully paved, you’ll be able to save gas by driving directly to wherever you want to go.

1) Save the rainforests! The wood will come in handy for building re-education camps for right-wing extremists.

2) Build a windmill. Not only will it provide electricity, it’s also good for killing birds, which you can fry up on your solar panels. Mmmm… fried eagle.

3) Encourage everyone you know to ride bicycles, then steal their tires and burn them to heat your house.

4) Save the whales! We may need to start using their oil again.

5) Plastic bottles last forever in a landfill. Coat them with several layers of lead paint before throwing them out to keep BPA’s from leaching into the groundwater.

6) Only buy organic vegetables which use no pesticides. Being pre-chewed by bugs makes them easier to digest. Sorta like being fed by a mama bird.

7) Eat fish only from mercury-contaminated waters. If you don’t, then mercury will accumulate in their bodies until they become completely made out of liquid metal and begin assuming the form of loved ones in order to hunt us down and kill us.

8) Don’t drive when you can bike. And lubricate the chain with whale oil.

9) Instead of throwing away food scraps, toss them into a compost pile in your back yard. The compost can be used to replenish soil nutrients in your garden, while the compost pile itself will attract rats, which you can shoot for target practice and leave where they lie to create more compost. Circle of life!

10) Support the Endangered Species Act, which protects animals with dwindling numbers so that their population can recover so that they can be taken off the list so that they can be quietly hunted to extinction without jack-booted government thugs interfering with the natural order of things.

How will YOU save the planet today?

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Tea Party Explained

My vote for face of the Tea Party. She explains things well for those who didn’t understand it or refused to understand it:

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Earth Day

Hello, world. It’s Earth Day.

Let’s talk a little bit about Earth Day, its history, and why it’s important to…

You’re a racist.
Continue reading ‘Earth Day’ »

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