AlanABQ has honored IMAO with the “Buddy Jesus Says: You Are Alriiiiiiight!” Award.

Catholicism WOW! I gotta give credit for earning this award to Frank, since he’s the wine & wafers guy around here. Due to my absence of belief system, I end up spending most of my time dodging the many lightning bolts that keep striking within 50 feet of me. Which is just pure, random chance, of course. It’s not like I’ve ever done anything even remotely blasphemous.


To join the exclusive club of blogs who honor IMAO and have your award featured on our sidebar with a link to your blog, make up a fancy award image honoring IMAO, blog about it, and drop a link in the comments.

Keep it PG-13, and if it doesn’t suck too terribly bad, your award will be duly noted in a post (Current estimated wait time – 6 Award posts), and placed in the sidebar with a link to your site.

As added incentive for people to honor IMAO with worthless, made-up awards, those who do so may proudly display this worthless, made-up Participant Ribbon:

If you don’t have a blog, then send your image to and include a link to one of your favorite IMAO posts.

For the Photoshop-impaired, here’s a guide to making mediocre fake pictures with Microsoft Paint

Or try the free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Maximum sidebar image width is 190 pixels. Please make sure text is at least barely legible at that size.

Now get honoring!

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We’ve almost tracked down this “Ed” person who keeps hacking into the site and editing comments. We hope to have this long nightmare behind us soon. Thanks for bearing with us.

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Frank Tips for the Swine Flu

People are getting worried about the swine flu. It’s probably just alarmism, but here’s some tips anyway to keep healthy:

* If you see any pigs, don’t put your mouth on them.

* Same goes for Mexicans.

* If someone is showing flu symptoms, lock him in the basement or a closet if to avoid infecting others.

* If you start showing flu symptoms, try and hide the fact so you don’t get locked in a basement.

* If flu continues to spread, read Stephen King’s The Stand to prepare for inevitable conflict between good and evil.

Just always remember what Smokey the Bear says: Give a hoot, be prepared for flu.

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Terror Attack

I have some words for Obama:

No, Obama. You do not fly your plane in low over New York because you want a nice photo. That is a bad president. You scared lots of people and that is wrong. No no.

So do you think Obama signed off on the whole thing or did his staff not hear his objection because he once again had a bucket stuck on his head? And it’s funny he’s been doing all this stuff against “torture” and then starts doing psych-ops on his won people.

Well, anyway, I wonder when we get to see the photos?

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lolterizt! Part 80

This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.

[reference link]

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Chris:

From Jedijson:

From Jedijson:

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

[reference link]

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.

Send your submissions to and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

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Random Thoughts

My Theory: Swine flu is God’s vengeance for Miss California speaking out against gay marriage. Why didn’t we listen to Perez Hilton?! Why?!!

The first hundred days are almost over, and the U.S. still exists in some vaguely recognizable fashion. A lot of you owe Obama an apology.

How many times is Obama allowed to interrupt primetime each season? If he has something important to say, can’t he just e-mail us?

If Obama wants people to tune in, he should announce he’ll do his speech Wednesday without a teleprompter. It’ll be like Fear Factor.

We can’t torture terrorists in Gitmo, but we can still beat them to death with a flashlight on the battlefield, right?

So is it technically a terror attack when it’s the president scaring everybody?

Do you think FOX is going to broadcast “Lie to Me” instead of the Obama press conference just to give us all an easy setup to a joke?

To be honest, if someone said to me, “Would like to scare the crap out of New York to get a photo op?” I’d be like, “Awesome.”

Since torture doesn’t work but waterboarding did work on KSM, doesn’t that prove that waterboarding isn’t torture?

First saw Lady Gaga on April 1st episode of American Idaol. Thought it was joke and laughed hysterically. Found out wasn’t a joke and felt sad.

There should be a season of 24 that starts with white corporate people as the villains, but it ends up Muslim terrorists are behind it all pulling the strings.

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