Comments on: Frank Tips for the Swine Flu

By: 5 of 7

5 of 7 — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 05:04:14 +0000

“Outbreak – the Sequel”, starring that little pig from ‘Babe’.
(of course, by now, if it’s still alive, it probably weights 900lbs and has 4 inch tusks).
That’ll do Pig, that’ll do.

By: zzyzx

zzyzx — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:45:25 +0000

Here’s a tip for avoiding the swine flu, stay away from pigs like Joy Behar…….Ed

By: Terry_Jim

Terry_Jim — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 03:42:26 +0000

* Listen repeatedly to a swine singing, "I Will Survive".. (Holy crap, it sounds like Yoda in drag. Yeesch.) Your bout of swine flu will end when your head explodes.

By: cincinnati_bob

cincinnati_bob — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 01:28:07 +0000

And as Hooty the Owl says “Only YOU can prevent forest fires….. So wait for a minute and have sex in the car !”

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:34:16 +0000

I welcome your suggestion, NunyaB. I was beginning to wonder about the efficacy of my own advice.

By: PammyV

PammyV — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:15:41 +0000

OHHHH…”swine” flu! I thought it was S-wine flu.

Whew!

I thought I was going to have to give up Syrah, Shiraz, Sauvignon, Semillion…..

By: NunyaB

NunyaB — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:37:41 +0000

If their rectal body temperature rises above 105F,

Hire a hippie to take the rectal body temp of your swine: they need the work and will be right at home with the smell.

FTFY Jimmy.

By: raml

raml — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:24:37 +0000

#11 They are trying to push through HR 669

By: RightWingWhacko

RightWingWhacko — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:19:33 +0000

I am more concerned with Al Gore’s warning regarding Man-Bear-Pig flu. I’m serial.

By: Master Shake

Master Shake — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:20:49 +0000

Actually, given that this a mixture of avian and swine flu, this is freakin’ FLYING PIG FLU!!!!

Are you trying to tell us that an America-hating POS like Obam…uhhh… getting elected President and flying pigs aren’t related?

By: Eros

Eros — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:59:16 +0000

Since B.J. Clinton mastered the use of the loony left press to misdirect attention from his incompetentcies and scandals, it makes you wonder what nefarious legislation Obama, Reid, Pelosi, Frank & company are trying to push through with this distraction?

By: Plentyobailouts

Plentyobailouts — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:59:10 +0000

If your country gets the swine flu, go golfing. Preferrably not a poorly as the occupant of the White House.

If you neighbor gets the swine flu, smoke him.

If the illegal mexican next door gets the swine flu, send him to the golf course to caddy for that one.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:54:56 +0000

Uncle Jimmy’s Hot Tips For Swine Flu:

* If your Swine actually have the flu, for chrissakes don’t eat them until they’re better! Fluey Swine meat doesn’t taste good and is high in Cortisol.

* Swine show flu symptoms by sweating which is not normal for them. If you see your Swine sweat, you’ve got a flu problem.

* Keep your Swine hydrated and cool during their illness. If their rectal body temperature rises above 105F, place them in ice bath in your neighbor’s bath tub. Use your neighbor’s children to keep them (the Swine and your neighbor) calm during the shock.

* If symptoms persist, call your local Swine Outreach Program at 555-55O-BAMA.

By: DesertElephant

DesertElephant — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:59:03 +0000

I’ve been avoiding swine flu by discontinuing contact with politicians until we get the all clear.

By: Pit Nicker

Pit Nicker — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:54:43 +0000

Completely OT, Snarlin’ Arlin a RINO no more:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124093451028864031.html

Super-sneaky Republican black bag operation or good riddance to bad rubbish?

By: zzyzx

zzyzx — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:53:53 +0000

Anybody here ever read The Stand? It’s Captain Tripp’s, man, it’s finally here!

By: STORM19111

STORM19111 — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:49:40 +0000

Will we see Chevy Chase on SNL doing an Obama with a needle stuck in his arm? Just curious.

By: Rahm Emanuel

Rahm Emanuel — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:41:18 +0000

And can’t the Mexicannon be fired up to combat this crisis?

Never let a crisis go to waste, I always say.

By: Socrates

Socrates — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:39:09 +0000

As with most viral infections, frequent handwashing is the key to avoiding swine flu.

Therefore, after such activities as drinking from water collected in discarded tires, swimming in Mexican drainage ditches, and drinking the blood of innocent Central Americans, we should be careful to wash our hands.

By: NunyaB

NunyaB — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:19:37 +0000

Swine Flu…

Defense against Radical Jihadi Moooooslims?

Or a euphemism for Pork-Barrel Spending?

By: Son of Bob

Son of Bob — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:13:54 +0000

Remember, you can put lipstick on a pig…that’s how we got The View

By: MarkoMancuso

MarkoMancuso — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 16:12:21 +0000

Don’t forget your shotgun(s)!