Got Your Goat
This story seems like a good opportunity to make fun of lesser cultures, but what if criminals actually were able to use black magic to turn into goats to avoid prosecution? Currently, our legal system is incapable of handling goats in a criminal manner, but apparently Nigeria has at least thought that out. I guess the next step it to compel the goat to turn back into a person, but I’m not sure how you bring that matter before a judge. And you’ll need some sort of hard evidence that the goat is really a human in a magical disguise. Would that take black magic? And would is it illegal to use black magic even if it were in the pursuit of justice?
It’s complicated. I guess this is really more of a matter for the Volokh Conspiracy than my blog.
(13 votes, average: 4.54 out of 5)
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April 1st, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Why does it have to be black magic? Racist!
April 1st, 2009 at 12:29 pm
If they decide on capital punishment for the goat, would eating it be cannibalism?
Not that that would stop Nigerians.
(uh oh – I’m in trouble now)
April 1st, 2009 at 12:33 pm
If he turned into a goat would he than have the intelligence of a goat and forget how to use his black magic thus leaving him stuck as a goat?
[Your ignorance of black magic is appalling. -Ed.]
April 1st, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Well we may not have ways to deal with criminals that can change themselves into a goat, but we are getting close with that story yesterday where some nut job submitted a guilty plea for killing her child on the condition that it be withdrawn if the child resurrects in accordance to her cults teachings.
April 1st, 2009 at 12:40 pm
In Obama America, goats arrest YOU!!!
April 1st, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Wow, that’s the worst excuse I ever heard from some guys who got caught trying to have sex with a goat.
April 1st, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Why not believe it? Our current POTUS is a weasel that was magically transformed into human form.
I just happened to catch the original “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” last night. It’s amazing. I think they were not only warning us about what was happening to Hollywood, but the onslaught of liberals and the eventual Obamanation…they’re all pod people!
April 1st, 2009 at 1:40 pm
#6, Bob, how often do you hear those type of excuses for that to be the worst one you have ever heard?
April 1st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
So does this mean that our Native-Born-African-In-Chief may actually be a goat with mad black magic skills? It WOULD explain almost everything since January.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Just wow! I would expect this kind of behavioral deviance from a kenyan, but nigerians aren’t usually devolved enough to have stupid thoughts. Maybe if they were not so busy becomming goats, they would have time to evolve.
April 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Awesome,
Alright, you got me. Aside from the Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinski scandal, I’ve never actually heard anyone make an excuse for having sex with a goat.
April 1st, 2009 at 3:21 pm
That’s the witch that turned me into a newt!
Build a bridge out of her!
April 1st, 2009 at 3:30 pm
A goat is a meat source, not a criminal. Barbecue the goat, and if the criminal shows up later, prosecute the criminal.
If the criminal actually did turn into a goat, too bad. It is still tasty cabrito!
April 1st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Reminds me of this.
April 1st, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I was starting to worry for a bit Bob.
April 1st, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Our CIT (commander in thief) managed to turn himself into a donkey today so I don’t think this is very far fetched at all.
April 1st, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Actually, isn’t it fascinating that Chiefs on US naval vessels are referred to as “Old Goats.” And the compartment where they sleep is called the “Goat Locker.” (I would not want to be an Old Goat in a Goat Locker.)
With this fact in mind, please take the following Quiz and substitute the correct word for goat in the following (warning, they get progressively harder):
1. A goat in the hand is worth two in the goat.
2. You drive me up a goat!
3. The third time’s a goat.
4. Don’t take away my goat. I need my goat!
5. You want the goat? You can’t handle the goat!
6. You’re young and on your first set of goats.
7. If you go to bed with goats, you’ll get up with goats.
So, umm… How’d you do?
April 1st, 2009 at 11:36 pm
1. bird
2. wall
3. charm
4. No clue
5. truth
6. again no clue
7. fleas
April 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 am
Quiz Key:
1. bird, bush
2. wall
3. charm
4, pain, pain
5. truth, truth
6. legs
7. dogs, fleas
seanmahair, you are clearly NOT an old goat!
April 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 am
This story is not believable. Who would steal a Mazda 323?
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:03 am
Holy goat! It just hit me. His head isn’t stuck in the bucket… he’s trying to eat the bucket!
April 6th, 2009 at 8:43 am
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