Today is Earth Day! That means the earth turns 4,543,823,194 today. It’s old. Very old. I wonder if it can even really support today’s modern lifestyle. It really seems like we should be getting a new earth by now. One that’s young and hip. One that’s not your typical planet. One that not afraid of wearing black, getting tattoos, and having gay friends. An earth for the future.
Probably won’t though. It will be just another year of boring old stupid earth. I wish we would just conquer Saturn and settle on a moon there. There no life on Saturn, though, so I’m not sure how we know when we’ve defeated it. I guess we just go over there, launch a few missiles at it, and declare ourselves victors. Then we could celebrate Saturn Day every year, and it would be a much better holiday.